


Escape the Night: A Continuation

by canufeelthemagictonight



Series: Escape the Night [3]
Category: Escape the Night (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 1970s, Afterlife, And Lots of It, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Arm Wrestling, Beating, Betrayal, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Brainwashing, But also, Carnival, Clowns, Clues, Dark, Dark Comedy, Deadly Game, Death, Demons, Dolls, Emotional Hurt, Evil, False Accusations, Fishhook, Friendship, Funny, Gen, Guns, Heavy Angst, Hunting Party, Hurt/Comfort, In a way, Insanity, Iron Maiden - Freeform, Limbo, Missions, Missions Gone Wrong, Monsters, Multiple Personalities, Murder, Murder Mystery, Novelization, Partying, Psychological Trauma, Quests, Resurrection, Riddles, Sacrifice, Sadistic Choice, Scary Clowns, Secret Society, Snakes, Spirits, Strangulation, Time Travel, Torture, Tragedy, Trauma, Witches, YouTubers - Freeform, YouTubers trapped in an evil carnival slowly being killed off one by one, Zombies, actually your fave will almost certainly die, and if your fave doesn't die he/she will be scarred for life, and some true ones?, based on the YouTube Red show Escape the Night with Joey Graceffa, come on people it's Escape the Night we all know the drill by now, funhouse, your fave will probably die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2019-06-21 23:45:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 54
Words: 144,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15569016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canufeelthemagictonight/pseuds/canufeelthemagictonight
Summary: Joey Graceffa has died. In order to get his life back, he makes a deal to save a 1970s town, and he invites nine more unsuspecting guests to come help him.As usual, death isn't far behind.The carnival's in town. It's up to Joey and his friends to escape its grasp...or die trying.A novelization of Season 3 of the YouTube Premium showEscape the Night with Joey Graceffa.The third installment in theEscape the Nightnovelization series.





	1. The Bargain

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go again! Before I begin, let's lay down some ground rules.  
> This is a novelization of the third season of _Escape the Night,_ a YouTube Premium (because they changed the name) show. If you haven't watched the third season yet, I recommend you do so, though you can still read this fic if you haven't seen it. If you haven't watched the first two seasons or read the first two novels, go do that right now and then come back.  
>  Everything that happens in the show (deaths, dialogue, etc.) happens in this story as well. I will occasionally patch up a plot hole, or fill in a missing scene with my own headcanons, but mostly, this fic will stick very closely to the original story.  
> With all that said, please sit back, relax, and enjoy _Escape the Night: A Continuation!_

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey is dead (spoilers for the last novel, whoops), but death is not the end. He will now receive a second chance...but at a cost.

Everything around him fades to white. One last name shines before him, and he knows from the bottom of his failing heart that he will never see his home again.

_Joey Graceffa..._

In a flash, he's standing on a bridge in the middle of nowhere, still dressed in the Victorian outfit that he died in. The sky is dark and stormy. The entrance to the bridge features a giant cutout of a demon's face.

 _If this is heaven,_ thinks the soul of Joey Graceffa, _it sucks._ Then again, it might be hell. After everything he's done, eternal damnation isn't out of the realm of possibility. He's sure that everyone who died because of him would be happy to find out that he'll be boiling for eternity.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

He passes through the demon's mouth and crosses the rickety bridge. He keeps walking until he comes across a small white church, where a blonde woman and an Asian man wait for him.

_There is a blonde woman in his past. She screams as she is forced into a coffin._

_An Asian man. He smiles sadly and accepts a knife to the heart._

Joey walks forward to meet them. His hands shake slightly, and his dead heart quickens. _I'm sorry,_ he prepares himself to say. _I didn't know the first time, and I was possessed the second time. But that's no excuse. It's all my fault. I tried to make things right, but then I died, and now it's too late for me to fix anything. If I had just one more chance..._

The woman speaks, and what she says floors him. "I have a way for you to get back."

 _I can go back?_ He wants to believe her. He doesn't want to be dead. He wants to be revived, to go home to the modern world, to hug his parents and kiss his boyfriend and _live._ He knows that it's a selfish thing to want, especially when fifteen other YouTubers are in the same boat as him, but he can't help it. He doesn't want his story to end this way.

But there's a catch, isn't there? There always seems to be a catch.

"But," the woman continues, "your friends will need to die."

Joey tells himself to be strong. He tells himself that it's better to accept his fate than it is to condemn a new crop of guests to the hell he's endured twice. He tells himself that if he says no, he'll see his fallen friends again. But then, the woman explains the specifics of the deal, and it's an offer that he can't refuse.

_I'm sorry, friends. This is what I have to do._

The woman holds out a small knife. He nods, takes it, and slits his palm open. He quickly learns two things: you can suffer in the afterlife, and you can bleed. Of course you can. Why was he expecting his pain to end?

They give him a piece of paper. "This contract binds you to Everlock," explains the woman. "Save the town, and you will return to the living. Fail, and be lost among the dead forever."

Joey uses his blood to sign the contract. His name shines in red letters as a symbol of what he's just agreed to do.

The World Between Worlds disappears around him.

 

The center gem glows. Joey's eyes fly open, and he breathes.

He is alive.

Somehow, he has returned.

He can only hope that the evil has not returned with him.

He hopes for a moment, but then he sees the scar on his hand, and he remembers his bargain. _There's a town stuck in the 1970s that I have to save, and if I save it, I can make things right. But in order to save the town, I have to...I have to..._

He can't think about that. He needs to get out of here.

Escaping the coffin proves to be much easier than expected. He pries it open, steps out, and finds himself in an open field, populated by nothing but a stylish 70s car, a satchel with the Society Against Evil symbol on it, and a brand-new 70s outfit. The outfit consists of a white shirt with skinny vertical stripes, dark red pants, an orange ascot, and period-typical socks and shoes.

Joey changes clothes. Once he's done, he examines his reflection in the hand mirror that's been provided, and he notices that his hair has changed color. Instead of its normal brown, it's platinum blonde. He's fine with this. He stopped caring about his hair a long time ago.

He gets into the car, starts its engine, and turns on the radio. "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Rolling Stones begins to play. "Pleased to meet you!" sings Mick Jagger. "Won't you guess my name?"

_My name is Joey Graceffa. I am twenty-six years old. I was trapped in the 1920s. I escaped. I was trapped in the Victorian era. I died. I came back to life. Now, I need to save a town, and I need some friends to help me save it._

He drives, and he thinks, and he eventually selects nine YouTubers that he knows. _Colleen. Manny. Nikita. Jc. Safiya. Rosanna. Matt. Teala. Roi._ He writes their names onto invitations, and he silently apologizes to them for what he's about to put them through. Then, for good measure, he apologizes to the dead.

Another game is about to begin, and he knows that his friends' blood is on his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Joey sends out his nine calls for help, and no one picks up on the warning signs.


	2. An Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The latest crop of future corpses get letters from Joey, asking for his help to save the town.

_My friends,_

_I'm going on an extraordinary adventure, and I'm in need of your help...and so are hundreds of others._

 

"I have a letter for you," says the delivery man, smiling professionally as he hands Nikita a cream-colored envelope.

"Bitch," Nikita snaps, "where's my burger? I did _not_ order this."

 

_This is not an invitation to a ball or a dinner party. It's an invitation to embark on a dangerous mission._

 

"Okay! That's _me!"_ chuckles Roi, who is currently attempting to brush his teeth and read the invitation at the same time. He somehow ends up brushing his forehead with his toothbrush.

 

_It may sound impossible, but there's a town trapped in the 1970s, and very soon, everyone in it will be dead unless we do something about it._

 

Teala frowns as she squints at her letter. It _does_ sound impossible, but if it _is_ true, she _can't_ just let hundreds of people die!

 

_There's a dark seance that will take us back in time, but for it to work, you must choose a personality reminiscent of that era and dress like them._

 

While Jc's always loved living in the modern world, he's not one to say no to a bit of time travel. He keeps reading, his eyebrows raised, an intrigued expression on his face.

 

_Remember: nothing from the modern world can come with you._

 

Manny purses his lips, contemplating the rules that have been laid out for him. "Can I bring my gloss, though?" he asks his invitation.

 

_The people of Everlock will know their role and their place, but you will be operating without knowledge or understanding of what's to come._

 

Safiya reads her invitation in the comfort of her living room. She isn't sure how Joey expects a former Buzzfeed employee and current beauty/style/weirdness YouTuber to be of any help in saving a town, but she'll do her best with what she has.

 

_This Friday the 13th, the doorway to Everlock will be open, and we will only have that one night to complete our mission._

 

Well, that's definitely Joey's signature at the bottom of the invitation, and Rosanna isn't about to abandon a friend who needs her help. "Don't worry, Joey!" she exclaims, curling her hand into a fist. "I'm on the way!"

 

Friday the 13th arrives. Nine people dress their best, choose methods of transportation, kiss their loved ones goodbye, and set off to the place where they're supposed to meet. All of them are more than ready to travel to Everlock and leave 2018 behind.

Unbeknownst to them, most of them will never see their home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Meet the guests! Also, a bunch of descriptions of 1970s clothing, if you're into that.


	3. The Guests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guests arrive. That's it. That's all that happens. For the third time in a row.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all know the drill. This entire chapter is going to be nothing but descriptions of the guests, their roles, and their outfits. If you have no interest in what the characters are wearing or who they are pretending to be, feel free to skip ahead to the next chapter, in which people actually get to talk to each other.

The first guest to make an appearance is Teala Dunn, the Super Spy. She's wearing a bronze-colored jumpsuit, a long red coat that goes to her knees, and a pair of black boots. Her black hair is in a free-flowing but rather elegant style, and a pair of long earrings shine in her ears.

Colleen Ballinger, the Disco Dancer, steps out of the same van that Teala came in. She is flamboyant at first sight; her sparkling silk two-piece makes her look like a walking disco ball, and her fluffy coat only adds to the look. She's tall, dark-haired, and beautiful, with platforms perfect for dancing the night away.

The driver of the van is Manny Mua, the Record Producer. He's dressed stylishly in an emerald jumpsuit, a green shirt underneath that, and a pair of cowboy boots. He is also wearing several rings, a gold chain, and a full face of makeup (which took him about forty-five minutes to perfect).

Next, Jc Caylen, the Hippie, shows up on a skateboard. His curly hair and calm smile suit the part, as do the red flower patterns on his otherwise white jacket. A white shirt with a red collar and a pair of jeans complete the look.

A motorcycle rumbles into view, and Roi Fabito has arrived. The Daredevil, known to the Internet as Guava Juice, sports a stringy rodeo-style jacket with the patterns and colors of the American flag on it. His shirt is white and blue, his pants are bright white, and his brown eyes are sparkling with excitement.

Then comes Nikita Dragun, the Troublemaker, who rides in on a pair of roller skates. Her hot pink dress is a bit revealing, but it matches perfectly with the pink headband that decorates her blonde wig. It doesn't take long for her to switch out the roller skates for an equally nice set of white go-go boots.

Matthew "MatPat" Patrick, the Detective, parks his car and steps out to face his mission. His outfit consists of an orange coat, a white shirt, a tie, some orange-tinted sunglasses, and a pair of green checkered pants. But his most prized possession is the small Detective badge that is securely fastened to his hip.

Accompanying him is Rosanna Pansino, the Jet Setter. The short brunette looks adorable in her plaid-patterned dress, her yellow stockings, her beige platform Oxfords, and her green coat with poofs. There's even a little yellow beret on her head.

The last guest of all, Safiya Nygaard, walks her bicycle to join the rest of the vehicles. As the Investigative Reporter, she's decided to wear a brown aviator's jacket, a red sweater with a white stripe down the middle, and blue jeans. She tucks a few strands of her dark hair behind her ears, and a businesslike expression appears on her face.

The Savant, Joey Graceffa, hasn't joined them at their designated meeting spot yet, so the nine guests stand and wait for him. They chat among themselves, and they wonder what they're going to have to do to save this town.

They have no clue what they're in for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: It's time to save a town! Also, Colleen's just here for a collab, Matt doesn't care for witchcraft, Safiya loves the 70s, and Manny thinks that Joey is a bad host.


	4. Everlock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang's all here, and they are ready to go save the town. Or, at least, they _think_ they're ready.

Manny's not gonna lie; he's a little annoyed that Joey hasn't shown up yet.

They've all been waiting around in the middle of nowhere for at _least_ five hours. It's dark, and they've got a fire going, and they're talking about pretty much everything that pops into their heads, but the guy who brought them all here is _still_ nowhere in sight. Manny did _not_ spend forty-five minutes working on his makeup to spend five hours standing around in the dark where no one can see it.

"Where's Joey?" Matt wants to know.

"I haven't seen him in a while," admits Rosanna. "Like, a couple months."

"A couple months" is a bit of an understatement. No one's heard from Joey since last September. Now, it's April, and they _finally_ get to see their friend again, except not, because the bitch _still isn't here._

 _Honey,_ sighs Manny to himself, _that's just bad hosting._

 

"I thought this was just a collab," Colleen admits, because she _knows_ Joey, and she _knows_ how much he loves to be dramatic. "Like, I thought this was just, like, gonna just be a collab." The whole "save the town" business seemed like an idea for a really cool YouTube video. Costumes? Roles? Danger? It was the perfect setup for an action-adventure skit starring all of them! She even brought Miranda's lipstick with her, just in case she needed to switch into her character!

She _certainly_ wasn't expecting a full-on _mission_ in the 70s. But here she is, about to save a town, because why not?

Now, if only she knew where the town was.

"Why did he have us meet him here?" she wonders, pointing at the ground beneath their feet. "Is _this_ the town?"

Matt chuckles. "This is _clearly_ not the town!"

Colleen shakes her head. She doesn't know what's going on, and she really hopes that she gets some answers soon.

 

Safiya _loves_ the 1970s. It was an era of free spirits, fashion, and fun, and if she could pick any time period to be born in besides this one, it would be the 70s for sure. So the fact that she might be actually _going_ there is the best news she's heard all week.

Of course, she isn't sure that she believes in time travel. But she's curious. That's why she came.

"I'm just here to see, you know, like, can we _actually_ time travel?" she admits to the group. If this turns out to be a prank (or worse), she's going to be furious, but for now, she's hopeful. Maybe that's why Joey has been away for so long. Maybe he's unlocked the secret of how to travel through time, and he's coming back to share that knowledge with the rest of the world.

The part about the town, though, is throwing her off. Why is there a town that needs their help? And what can ten YouTubers, none of whom have dealt with anything more dangerous than hate comments, YouTube drama, and Matt's horror games, _possibly_ do to help that the police or the army can't do?

Oh, well. As soon as Joey gets here, everything will be explained. Everything always has an explanation.

 

The more time passes, the more Rosanna worries about Joey. What's taking him so long? Is he hurt? Is he in trouble? Are they too late to save him from whatever has been keeping him away from home for all this time?

 _No,_ she tells herself. _He's okay. He'll be here any minute._

"I think we've waited long enough," says Colleen.

"Yeah." Manny nods. "I agree."

_No! We haven't! We gotta wait longer! Joey needs us! We can't just—_

"You guys came!"

It's Joey! There's a smile on his face, and he doesn't look hurt at all, and Rosanna's _so unbelievably happy_ to see him safe and sound. _I knew you'd come!_ her heart sings. _I knew you weren't gone forever! I heard all the stories, but I knew they couldn't be true!_

Everyone cheers. Roi jumps up and down, his arms open for a hug. Joey hugs Safiya first, then turns his attention to Rosanna, pulling her into a tight but affectionate embrace. She hugs him back. _We're here for you, Joey. We won't let you down._

 

 _Well, it's about time you showed up!_ thinks Teala happily. After five hours, she was beginning to think that this whole thing was a giant practical joke, but she's glad to see that's not the case. Joey is here. He's blonde, which is different, but he's here. Now, they can get this whole "let's save the troubled town" project on the road.

Joey lets go of Rosanna and gives Roi a hug as well. "Honestly," he says, "I didn't know if you guys were gonna come or not."

"We've been waiting for _hours!"_ exclaims Colleen.

"We've been really worried about you," adds Safiya.

Joey responds with a breathless "thank you," but his eyes are far away, and Teala wonders how he's doing. Everyone knows what he went through two years ago. Everyone knows that it's been about nine months since he disappeared for the second time. Everyone knows, but no one says anything, because they don't want to bring up painful memories and/or trigger Joey's PSTD. So the question remains: is he _really_ okay?

Matt gets right down to business. "So tell us about this town."

"Yeah." Teala's actually really interested to hear about what they'll have to do. The invitation mentioned danger, but she hopes that it isn't anything _too_ dangerous.

 

In order to make things right, Joey must save Everlock. He still feels awful about subjecting his nine friends to this dangerous mission, but if it's what he has to do, then he'll do it. He'll do _anything._

Besides, his hands are already soaked in blood as it is.

"So I need your help." He takes a deep breath, and he finds himself unable to look the others in the eye. "I really don't know much about how we get there, but I was given this." He holds up his Society Against Evil satchel. "And we need to save this town. Apparently, there's something here that's gonna help us get into the town." 

"You've never..." Colleen squints suspiciously. "You haven't opened it?"

He _can't_ tell them the truth. If he does, he knows that they'll hate him as much as he hates himself. It's better that they don't know.

_Forgive me..._

 

This is weird, but Nikita doesn't care. She spent five hours waiting in the dark with a bunch of people who are mostly strangers to her, and if she had to sit through _one more_ stupid ghost story, she would've lost it. At least things are actually _happening_ now.

Joey has a satchel. There's a weird symbol on it, and Nikita thinks she might've seen that symbol on TV once, but she can't remember the specifics.

"Let's open it," suggests Safiya.

Joey looks nervous, but he says "okay" and opens it. He pulls out a piece of rolled-up paper.

"Looks like a note," Safiya remarks.

"A scroll," points out Manny.

Matt grins anxiously. "Not ominous at all."

The next thing to come out of the box is a small container of salt. As the group oohs and aahs, Joey passes the salt to Rosanna, who passes it to Nikita, who figures that she might as well take a sniff. The aroma reminds her of LA beaches and million-dollar summer hauls. "This smells expensive," she reports.

"All right," says Safiya once everyone's quieted down. "I've got the instructions."

_Those who desire to go back in time and enter the town of Everlock must be inhabited by a spirit that once lived there._

Wait, _what?_

"Hold up," says Matt.

Everyone starts talking at once, doubt and fear in their voices. Nikita slaps on a smile, but on the inside, she's freaking out just as much as everyone else. _No thanks! I am_ not _gonna be possessed by a goddamn ghost! You get possessed, and next thing you know, you're evil, and you're killing all your friends. That is_ not _gonna be me!_

Colleen turns pale. "We have to be inhabited by a _spirit?"_

"I mean, I've had a tapeworm," says Manny. "I've had things living in me before. It's not that bad."

This statement, oddly enough, makes Nikita feel better about the whole thing. "You guys," she chirps, fake happiness in her voice, "I think it could be fun. Like, if we just get in it..."

Manny laughs. "It would. It would."

 _This_ better _not screw me up._

 

All this hoodoo voodoo witchcraft nonsense is _not_ up Matt's alley. He's always been interested in exploring new possibilities, but there are some possibilities that really shouldn't be explored...like letting spirits inhabit your body, for instance.

"Think of the consequences!" giggles Teala.

"Guys, come on!" Joey shouts. "We don't have much time!"

Matt shrugs. Okay, then. He's going to open himself up for ghostly possession. _I guess that's what Joey meant when he said that this mission is dangerous._

Safiya keeps reading.

_They must create a circle of salt, place five crystals at the head of the circle, hold hands, and chant the incantation below._

Joey just so happens to have five crystals in that magic satchel of his, so the group does everything that the note tells them to do. As they work, Matt's mind tries to puzzle out what exactly they're going to do once they get to Everlock. If this was a video game, they'd save the town by beating the living daylights out of a bunch of scary monsters, but this isn't a video game. Also, they have no weapons. So what's the plan? What's the _danger,_ for that matter?

One thing's for sure: if it's spiders, planes, or animatronics, he's _out of here._

Finally, it's time to summon the spirits. Matt holds hands with Teala and Roi; the former is shaking like a leaf, while the latter, who is clearly trying to be brave, can't disguise the slight tremor of fear in his hand. Matt squeezes both their hands and struggles to calm down his racing heart.

Joey starts the chant, and everyone else joins in.

_From across the veil of death, I request your presence, so I might make wrong things right. Enter in, that I might see the doorway to Everlock._

Their fire glows, and green wisps of light rise from the flames. Matt barely has time to think _spirits_ before they invade Colleen, glowing within her mouth and eyes, extracting screams from her soul. The same thing happens to Manny, then Teala, and Matt knows he's next. His last thought before he's possessed is _Please don't make me hurt anyone._

The spirits take hold. His instincts make him scream, but it's not as bad as he though it would be. A warm, tingly feeling covers him like a blanket, his mind goes blank, and his heart slows down to a quiet, steady beat. _Property of Everlock,_ someone whispers. He can't even remember his own name.

Then, they leave, and he is Matthew Patrick again. He doubles over, coughs, and gasps for fresh air.

 

Jc can now check "travel through time" and "get possessed by spirits" off of his bucket list. Of course, those weren't even _on_ his bucket list, but sometimes, it's best to take life as it comes. You never know what might happen.

"Guys!" Joey points. "Look! Over there!"

 _"No,"_ gasps Roi.

In the distance, there is a bridge that Jc's pretty sure wasn't there before. It flickers with orange light, and then, in the blink of an eye, an arch appears out of nowhere. It says TOWN OF EVERLOCK in cursive letters, and a curtain obscures what's on the other side.

 _Well,_ thinks Jc with a smile, _that seems like where we should go._

Together, the ten YouTubers walk across the bridge and stand in front of the arc. Jc is at the end of the line, next to Matt, and he listens to everyone's excited chatter without contributing to it. He can't think of anything to say. Oh, well. He'll think of something later.

All of a sudden, a clown darts out from behind the curtain. Everyone screams.

_Oh. A clown. That's...different._

 

Roi's not scared of anything, and that _includes_ clowns. So what if she looks freaky? So what if she's smiling like a serial killer who wants to carve out his insides with a spoon? He's the Daredevil. He takes his role _very_ seriously. Clowns suck, but they _don't_ scare him. Not at all.

"It's your lucky day!" shrieks the totally-not-scary clown. "Because the carnival's in town!"

 _The carnival?_ Roi likes carnivals. He's been to all sorts of theme parks, and he's always had a good time.

The clown launches into a speech that sounds like a brochure. "We have a strong man! A snake woman! Dolls with knives! It's like bloody Christmas every day!" She laughs maniacally.

As the group chuckles nervously, Roi runs down the list of things she just said in his mind. A strong man, okay, that's cool, but what's a snake woman? Is she a woman who charms snakes, or a woman who is literally a snake? And why do the dolls have knives?

He almost asks the clown about this, but then decides against it. Not because he's scared! He just wants to let her finish talking!

"We will be friends soon," says the clown. "I've got a good feeling about that." She pulls back the curtain, revealing the carnival within. "Enjoy the ride!"

"Thank you," says Joey.

"Thanks, queen!" chirps Teala.

Matt looks rattled. "Did she say _dolls_ with _knives?!?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The carnival's in town! Also, Rosanna and Matt meet Blueberry and Blanche, Teala explains her inexperience, and Roi dances.


	5. The Greatest Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes explore a carnival! It is fun and wonderful, and absolutely nothing is amiss. No sir!

Colleen finds herself exploring a cute, retro carnival. There's a Ferris wheel, all sorts of carnival games, several performers, popcorn, cotton candy, and _fun._ This is the happiest place she's ever seen in her life.

"Oh, look!" she squeals. "There's rides! This is cute, though!" She wrinkles her nose, slightly confused about the specifics of their mission. "What's there to save? This all looks fun. What's wrong?" Surely a place like this doesn't need saving. Maybe she was right about that collab after all!

"This isn't bad!" Matt proclaims. He wanders off to look at the snacks before anyone can disagree with him.

 _Of course it's not._ Colleen smiles. She's already thinking up possibilities for their grand carnival collab. What games will they play? Will the Ferris wheel be involved? And where are the cameras? _You can't do a collab without cameras. Everyone knows that._

Suddenly, a woman appears, and there's a spider crawling on her face. Colleen _hates_ spiders, so she screams. So do Joey and Nikita. Roi's expression is an odd combination of interest and disgust.

"Absolutely not!" shrieks Colleen. "Absolutely not!"

Okay. So maybe this carnival isn't _all_ fun and games. But a spider isn't going to destroy a town, so what gives?

 

"Hey there, skirt." A handsome man with a brown jacket and a charming smile approaches Nikita, holding a single red rose. "How are you?"

She grins. "Hi. How are you, guy?" _Omigod. You're kind of, like, everything._

"Where are you going tonight, huh?" he says flirtatiously.

Well, Nikita _was_ here to save a town or whatever, but if she gets a hot date in the process, that'll just be the icing on the cake. "Nowhere," she giggles, tossing her head.

Teala ruins the moment with a question. "Who are you?"

"I'm Mortimer," says Mortimer.

"He's lying," says Roi.

Mortimer addresses the group. "Why don't you just play some games and have a good time before my mom shows up, you know?"

Nikita's heart flutters. "Are you a mama's boy?" she asks her possible future boyfriend.

"My mom is the mayor," Mortimer replies.

 _So he's cute, he's charming,_ and _he's got connections? I think I'm in love!_

 

"Guys, free popcorn over here," says Matt, pointing at a popcorn machine. Jc likes free food, so he takes some. _Saving the town can wait,_ he decides. _Let's settle down. The problems will come to us. We're fine._

Everyone disperses to go play games. Joey attempts the Test Your Strength game, and he's better at it than Jc thought he would be. The girls cheer. Roi and Rosanna dance together. Nikita tries her hand at ring toss. A man shows Manny a bug-eyed stuffed animal, and Manny responds with a silly face.

Matt, meanwhile, isn't doing so hot at the Down the Clown game. He throws beanbag after beanbag, but he's unable to down a single clown. "Dangit!" he exclaims, obviously frustrated.

"Matt, chill." Jc grabs a handful of beanbags. "I'll win something for you."

The man at the Down the Clown booth counts off, and Jc throws a beanbag. He knocks over a clown on his first try. Matt and Safiya cheer. Jc chuckles. _Not bad for a Hippie, huh?_

"Her name is Blanche," says the man at the booth, handing a pink stuffed pony to a very happy Matt. "She belongs to you now."

Matt takes the pony. "Hey, Blanche!" he coos, as if he's talking to a baby instead of an inanimate object. He beams at the man at the booth. "Thank you!"

Jc's done his good deed for the night, so he goes to talk with Joey and Teala. "So we're here," he says. "Now what do we do?"

"I don't know," Joey admits.

Jc shrugs. "Does this town need saving?" He isn't sure if it does. Nothing seems out of the ordinary to him. Everyone's happy. Everyone's having fun. There's not a thing in the world to worry about, which is just how he likes it.

Joey notices a woman with a large, pretty, slightly pained smile. "Smile if you need saving," he tells her.

She keeps smiling.

"She smiled!" Joey exclaims, and they all laugh.

 

Yeah, technically, Manny's here to save Everlock, but he can't do that without anything to save it _from._ Literally the only suspicious thing that has happened so far is when Mortimer (was that his name?) just randomly started talking to them, and that was only suspicious because they don't know him.

Oh, well. Honestly, he's _relieved_ that there's a carnival instead of a bunch of monsters or whatever. It's more fun and less dangerous this way.

 _What should I do next?_ He glances around the area. _I could take a ride on the Ferris wheel. Or maybe I should test my strength! I think I'm pretty strong..._

Eventually, he decides to go talk to his "van girls," Colleen and Teala.

"If we're here to save the town," says Colleen, "how can we use our talents to help? Because, like, as a Dancer, I don't know how much I can do."

"I can mix things," offers Manny. He's glad that he got the role of Record Producer, because it means that he gets to wear makeup, and if there's one thing Manny loves, it's makeup. _Imagine if I was, like, the Rock Star or something! I'd have to wear an ugly stripe across my face!_

Colleen turns to Teala. "Yeah, like, have you ever done spy work before?" It's a valid question. Of the three of them, Teala's role has the most potential when it comes to saving towns.

Teala shakes her head. "No. This is my first job."

 _Oh, honey,_ Manny silently tells her, _it's all make-believe! Just say that you're a girl version of James Bond! Don't sell yourself short!_

"So we're screwed," concludes Colleen.

_Not if there isn't any danger, we're not._

 

Rosanna absolutely _loves_ this place. She's spent the past ten minutes playing twenty different carnival games, and she has a stuffed dog named Blueberry to show for it. Now, she's hanging out with Matt, Colleen, and Roi, all of whom are very nice people, and they're about to go exploring together. If _this_ is where Joey's been for the last nine months, Rosanna was silly to worry about him.

"Oh!" Roi jumps, almost bumping into Rosanna. "Sorry. She scared me."

"Jesus Christ," says Colleen.

They turn around to see who startled the Daredevil, and they see a dark-haired woman with mystical clothes and a scarily serious expression on her face. She is by far the most troubled person they've seen all night.

"Who's that?" asks Matt.

 _Oh!_ thinks Rosanna. _She looks interesting! Let's use my social skills as a Jet Setter and see what's going on here!_

Matt has the same idea. "Jet Setter!" He gently pushes Rosanna towards their new potential friend.

"Hello!" says Rosanna cheerily as she walks up to the woman. "Bonjour!"

"The stars," hisses the woman.

Rosanna was not expecting _that_ greeting.

"The stars?" Colleen raises an eyebrow. "No stars. City lights."

The woman points at the sky. "The stars have been talking to me."

"So, what are they saying?" Rosanna wants to know.

"All kinds of secrets."

 _Ooh!_ Rosanna likes secrets, so long as they don't hurt anyone, so she's excited to learn about the secrets this town holds. "Are they friendship secrets? Light-hearted secrets? Dark secrets?" Now that she thinks about it, the dangerous look in this woman's eyes indicates that they're probably not light-hearted secrets. "Dark? Serious?"

The woman's voice is a foreboding whisper. "He's coming."

"Who's coming?" asks Roi.

"He's coming," the woman replies. She reaches out to pet Blueberry, who Rosanna has temporarily entrusted to Roi.

Roi seems a bit weirded out, but he quickly regains his composure. "You can have it." He offers Blueberry to the woman.

"The dog?" asks Colleen.

Matt's face falls. "Oh, no. Don't."

"No, that's Blueberry." Rosanna knows that Roi means well, but Blueberry is _her_ dog. Not anyone else's. She ought to give him a talking-to about how he shouldn't try and give away other people's things.

Fortunately, Roi catches on. "This is Blueberry," he tells the woman, who is petting Blueberry's soft purple fur.

Poor Colleen looks _very_ confused. "Blueberries are coming?"

As soon as Rosanna gets her dog back, she hugs him close to her chest. _The woman said that someone's coming. Who's coming? I hope it's a friend and not a foe..._

 

Matt's a roller coaster enthusiast. Sign him up for _any_ sort of carnival ride, and he'll be there, front and center. That _includes_ the giant Ferris wheel that rotates against the skyline in a whirl of colors and gears.

He and Rosanna walk towards the Ferris wheel. Both of them are accompanied by their stuffed animals; Rosanna has the dog Blueberry, and Matt has a beautiful pony who answers to the name of Blanche. He's already planning on taking her home with him as a memento of his time in Everlock. Besides, Ollie is going to _love_ her once he arrives into the world.

"This thing just got built, like, yesterday," says Mortimer to Rosanna as he guides them towards the wheel, "so if you or your brother have any problems with it, just let us know."

Rosanna laughs. "Oh, no. He's not my brother. It just seems like it sometimes."

"Yeah," Matt agrees. He's an only child, but if he considers _anyone_ a sibling, it's Rosanna. They even _look_ alike. Sometimes, he wonders if they were separated at birth.

"I can't remember the last time I've been on a Ferris wheel," remarks Rosanna. "They are adorable."

They get on the ride. "Save the most dangerous thing for last!" giggles Matt, and Rosanna shrugs at him.

Their passenger car has a cute little blanket covering the seat. Matt and Rosanna get comfy for a little bit, but then, Matt discovers a newspaper hidden under the blanket.

 _The Clowns Here Kill,_ the headline screams.

Rosanna gasps as the Ferris wheel lifts them into the air. "No!"

Matt gulps. There are clowns here, and if they _kill,_ well, that's not a good thing at all. He reads the article aloud to Rosanna, and the lump of dread in the pit of his stomach grows bigger with every word.

_The Killer Clown Clan strikes again, much to no one's surprise. Four major players of the Clan are shown here. Be warned._

The front page features a picture of four clowns. One of those clowns is the one who welcomed them into Everlock.

_Well, so much for "this town doesn't need saving!"_

Matt wants to get off this Ferris wheel and warn the others before it's too late, but they're already too far off the ground. Their only hope is to try and get the attention of Roi and Colleen, who are waving at them from below.

"Hey, Matt!" calls Colleen.

"Hey!" shouts Roi. "How's the view?"

"Guys!" Matt screams at his happy friends. "Don't trust the clowns!" He enunciates each word perfectly, putting pounds of urgency and fear into his voice.

Colleen frowns. "What?"

 _They can't hear us._ Matt takes a deep breath. _Okay, Matt. Calm down. You just gotta wait until the ride's over, and then you and Ro can go warn everyone that Pennywise's distant cousins are not their friends. You're gonna be fine._ Everyone's _gonna be fine._

Then, all of a sudden, the ride stops. Matt and Rosanna are trapped at the very top of the Ferris wheel.

They both lean forward, but this only causes their passenger car to lurch forward on its hinges. Rosanna screams. Matt instinctively puts his right arm around her shoulders. "Oh, Jesus!" His heart skips a beat. "Okay, don't lean forward!"

They're stuck. Until this ride starts again, they have no way of getting down to their friends. Matt can only pray that the ride restarts before the clowns kill anyone.

 

Roi is _very_ worried about Matt and Rosanna. "Are you stuck?" he hollers at them, and although he can't hear their reply, he's pretty sure that the answer is "yes." _They're in trouble._ His protective tendencies are tingling. _I should help them. Why can't I help them?_

He _totally_ thinks that the crazy lady they talked to earlier is responsible for this. She's doing something weird with her arms, and she's staring at the Ferris wheel. She probably has some kind of psychic power that can trap innocent people on giant metal contraptions.

 _If I was a superhero,_ he thinks as he takes a bite of his cotton candy, _I'd fly up there and save them._ But since he's not a superhero, he can't really do anything from all the way down here.

Some Daredevil _he_ is.

 

Joey still feels bad about not telling his friends about his mission, but he is comforted by the fact that this town doesn't appear to need saving at all. Maybe the blonde woman was wrong. Maybe _no one_ has to die for this.

"Hey!" The creepy clown woman who welcomed them into town skips towards him. "I have a fun game for you! Wanna play?"

"Sure!" replies Joey. He likes games, as long as they're not deadly ones.

He and Teala follow the clown to a nearby booth. In the distance, he thinks he can hear a faraway voice screaming "No! Joey, don't trust her! _Joey!"_ But it's probably just his imagination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Everything goes to hell. Also, Joey listens to the wrong people.


	6. Don't Trust the Clowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group is welcomed into Everlock, but their mission turns sour in about ten seconds flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick heads-up: this chapter contains a racial slur, which I do not condone in any way. It also contains death, but that is to be expected from an Escape the Night novel.

"Hi!" says Teala to the clown. She's been having a lot of fun at this carnival so far, and she's excited to play yet another carnival game. Yeah, she hasn't won anything yet, but now's her chance! Time for her and Joey to show everyone what they've got!

"Here." The clown gives Joey a ball. "Take this ball and throw it at these cans. If you knock one over, you win a prize!"

Joey starts jumping up and down like a six-year-old on sugar. "Oh! I want the pony! I want the big pony! If I get it, can I get the big pony, please?"

"Maybe!" giggles the clown. "You just have to get it!"

So as Teala looks on with wide eyes, Joey throws the ball and knocks a can over on the first try. Teala, too, throws some balls, and she knocks over the rest of the cans. The two of them celebrate together. Teala feels happier than she's felt all week.

"I get the pony!" Joey cheers.

But the clown has something else in mind. "How about...instead of the pony..." She pulls out a small red box with stars painted on it. "I've been saving this for a _very_ special occasion!" She grins at Joey, but her grin is almost dangerous. "Only someone with your unique gift can open the box and let the _real_ carnival come out to play!"

Teala isn't sure if she wants to see the "real" carnival. This one is fine. "Omigod, Joey." Then again, she's probably overthinking this. What harm can a _box_ possibly do?

"Be careful!" exclaims the clown as Joey takes the box from her. Her voice grows quiet, and her eyes twinkle. "Don't open it just yet." She laughs.

"Don't open it just yet?" Teala repeats, incredulous. _What? Do we have to wait till Christmas?_

"Got it!" says Joey nervously. "Thank you!"

"Thank you," echoes Teala, and the two YouTubers walk away with their new prize.

 

Nikita is gushing about Mortimer to Manny, who is humoring her by nodding and saying "yeah" at all the right times. He's a good friend. He can be the best man at their wedding. Hell, maybe she'll find _another_ cute guy in Everlock to set him up with. You never know!

Joey and Teala show up. "Guys," says Joey, "we got a gift."

Teala has a bewildered look on her face. "She gave us a box!" The Super Spy strikes Nikita as being a bit of a ditz, but at least her outfit is amazing, so she has that going for her.

Everyone (except for Matt and Rosanna, who are still on the Ferris wheel) gathers around Joey and his box. A debate breaks out over whenever or not they should open it. Personally, Nikita thinks they should. They could use a little more excitement around here.

Before Joey can reach a decision, a horn blares, and everyone screams. A dark-haired woman with a bullhorn shows up on a nearby balcony. She is greeted with applause from the townspeople.

Roi is the first to realize who this new person is. "It's the mayor."

"Omigod!" Colleen turns to Mortimer. "It's your mom!"

Nikita's ears turn red. _Omigod, Mortimer's already introducing me to his mom? This is a really big step!_

 

"How is that his mom?" Rosanna asks Matt. "She looks fabulous! She doesn't look old enough to be his mom." The mayor appears to be in her twenties, so Rosanna doesn't know how it's possible for her to be _anyone's_ mom.

"You don't know local politics," is Matt's blunt reply.

 

So now the mayor is going to give a speech. Jc's fine with that. She's the mayor, after all, so of _course_ she has something to say.

"Thank you all for coming out to Carnival!" says the mayor through her bullhorn. "It's our lifeblood."

"I think you mean it's sucking _our_ blood?" shouts a strange woman in mystical clothes. Jc recognizes her as the one who was talking to Rosanna and the others a little while ago.

Joey raises an eyebrow at this outburst. "What?"

"The spell won't last forever," the mystical woman warns them, "and then You-Know-Who is coming back."

 _Well,_ we _don't know who,_ thinks Jc. _But that doesn't sound good._

 

Safiya, being the major Harry Potter fan that she is, thinks _Voldemort_ as soon as the woman mentions "You-Know-Who." But that can't be right. Voldemort isn't real.

The mayor sighs. "I wouldn't listen to her words. Please."

"We're here to help you!" Joey shouts.

"Thank you." The mayor smiles, but Safiya is almost 98% sure that her smile is made of plastic. "Avoid this woman and her nonsense. She's gypsy trash who lives on the outskirts of town."

This causes shrieks from several YouTubers. "That was a reach!" is Nikita's take on the situation. "That was a reach!"

"Trash," gasps Manny. "She said 'trash.'"

The mayor is still talking. "Never willing to join us. She's not to be trusted."

Safiya turns to the mystical woman, expecting her to be offended, but the woman is more interested in the box that Joey holds. "Where did you get that?" she demands to know.

"I won it," says Joey. "It's mine."

"Calliope!" snarls the mayor.

The woman, who Safiya figures must be named Calliope, points an angry finger at the mayor. "Not today, Janet!"

"Janet, you better shut your mouth, girl," snarks Manny.

Calliope's eyes are fixed on the box. "Do you _know_ what that is?" Her voice is low and fierce, but there's a hint of anxiety there as well.

"A box," says Joey.

"A music box," remarks Colleen.

Mayor Janet laughs. "It's a toy."

"No!" spits Calliope. "That is one of the Carnival Master's wicked artifacts!"

Safiya doesn't know _what_ to believe anymore.

 

Joey doesn't see what the big deal is about his box. He won it fair and square. Sure, it's not the pony he wanted, but why does Calliope think it's the spawn of Satan or something? He kind of wants to open it now, just to find out.

"It's a harmless carnival prize," insists Mayor Janet.

"Yeah!" Joey agrees. "I got it as a prize!"

Mayor Janet shakes her head. "Somebody please just open it and put this woman's hysteria to rest."

"Don't do it!" shouts Colleen.

"We have to open it," says Teala with a shrug.

Nikita nods. "I agree."

"Guys, what should I do?" Joey asks his friends. "Should I open it?"

"Don't," says Roi.

"Do not open that!" snaps Colleen.

"I say open it," says Teala.

Manny raises his hand. "I vote open it."

"Look at her!" Roi seems more panicked about this than anyone else in the group. "Joey!" He points at Calliope, who is backing away from the group with a worried look on her face. _"Look_ at her!"

Joey makes his decision. "I'm gonna open it!"

"No!" screams Colleen.

"No!" yells Roi. "Joey!"

Teala shrugs again. "I kind of think we should open it."

Joey cranks the lever to open it. An eerie sort of music plays throughout the suddenly-silent clearing.

"Omigod," murmurs Manny. "I'm scared it's a bomb."

Teala clenches her hands together. "Omigod. I don't know—"

The creepiest jack-in-the-box that Joey has ever seen pops out. It has a knife in its head. Everyone screams.

"Omigod!" yelps Teala. "What the hell?"

Joey gulps. _I've made a huge mistake._

 

As soon as Safiya sees the jack with the knife in its head, she thinks _yeah, we probably just unleashed something evil._ Terrified screams ring in her ears, along with unholy laughter, and goosebumps prick her arms like tiny needles.

"Nothing happened," Mayor Janet lies. "Everything is fine."

"We heard screams," Manny points out.

Mayor Janet ignores him. "Just enjoy the carnival. Honestly, I—"

Before she can finish her sentence, a clown appears, grabs her from behind, and throws her off the balcony. She crashes through one of the displays and lands on the ground with a sickening _crunch._

Safiya screams. How could she not? She just saw a woman _die!_

"Mom!" Mortimer's voice is broken with grief. "Mom! _Mom!"_

"What the hell!" exclaims Teala.

Colleen looks traumatized. "Your mom just _died!"_

To make matters worse, hundreds of clowns show up, carrying guns, baseball bats, and other assorted weapons. They immediately start killing every townsperson in sight.

 _Nope,_ thinks Safiya, and she runs.

 

"I told you!" screams Matt from the Ferris wheel. "The clowns!" He's never been more scared in his life. Sure, he and Rosanna are safe up here (for now), but what's going to happen to everyone else?

 

 _I knew we shouldn't have opened that box!_ Roi screams internally. _Now look! Someone is dead!_ He's no stranger to death—it's hit close to home for him once or twice—but he's never actually _seen_ it happen. Until now.

He never wants to see anyone die ever again.

 _Brave, brave, brave,_ he chants to himself as the clowns flood the area. _I'm brave. I'm the Daredevil. I gotta keep everyone safe._

"Get your friends!" shouts Mortimer. "Get your friends! You gotta follow me!"

Joey waves an arm. "This way! This way!"

Everyone runs for the arcade. Roi hangs back with Joey, mainly so he can guide his friends to where they need to go. Unfortunately, he's too busy watching everyone else's backs to watch his own, and a clown grabs him by the arm and drags him away.

"No!" He puts up a hell of a fight, but the clown is just too strong for him. "Hey! Hey!" _What's he gonna do to me? Am I gonna die? I don't wanna die! I haven't even done anything cool yet!_

The clown marches him into the back of an RV and handcuffs him to one of the seats. "There you go, little boy," he says in a mocking tone of voice. "You wait here. We have something _very_ special planned for you and your friends."

Before Roi has the chance to tell him where he can stick his special plans, he's gone, and Roi's alone in the RV.

He wants to cry. How did everything go so wrong, so fast? What's going to happen to him and his friends? Are these clowns going to kill them, like they killed Mayor Janet, like they killed all those poor townspeople?

He's scared. He _hates_ being scared.

 

 _They got Guava!_ Colleen stops running for a split second as she tries to think of a way to save him. This proves to be a mistake. She, too, is captured by a clown.

_Dammit._

She doesn't fight back. Roi fought back, and a fat lot of good it did _him,_ so she decides that it's better to just let this clown take her away. That way, she stands less of a chance of getting murdered. But that's not to say that she isn't scared out of her wits. _Matt was shouting something from the Ferris wheel,_ she remembers. _It sounded important. What if it had something to do with the clowns?_

_Matt...did you know this was going to happen?_

"Get in here!" cackles the clown, pulling her into an RV and handcuffing her to one of the front seats. "Join your friend!" He laughs in her face, then leaves. She wants to punch him.

"Colleen?" That's Roi's voice. "Colleen, is that you?"

"I'm here!" Fear, anger, and determination fuel her soul. _I'm not going to die in an RV at the hands of a bunch of crazy clowns. I'm going to get me and Guava out of here, even if I have to break a clown's nose to do it!_

 

Mortimer ushers what's left of the group into the arcade. Nikita is first, then Manny and Teala, then Jc, and finally Safiya. Joey's at the back of the pack, making sure that everyone's in before him.

Just as he's about to enter the arcade, the head clown grabs him around the neck.

_No!_

He tries to grab the door handle. Nikita throws a stuffed monkey at the clown. Neither of these ideas work, and Joey is dragged away. The others close and bolt the arcade door.

Joey struggles. _I can't go out like this,_ he thinks frantically. _My mission can't end before it's even started!_

 

Rosanna came here to help Joey, but now, he's being captured by a clown, and she can't save him. "Joey!" she screams.

"They're taking him to the murder van," Matt says, gesturing to the van that Roi and Colleen were thrown into. He's right. The clowns are parading Joey towards that awful RV.

"They got Joey!" cries Rosanna. "They got Joey! _Joey!"_

Matt shakes his head. "Oh, this is terrible."

 

"Get in the RV!" orders the head clown, opening the door to the RV while simultaneously pointing a pink gun at Joey's head.

Joey turns pale. "Omigod!" He does as he's ordered, mainly because he'd rather not get his brains blown out.

He finds Colleen, who is handcuffed to the front seat. "Help me, please!" begs the Disco Dancer. "Help me!"

"I can't!" Colleen is one of his oldest friends, and Joey wishes that he could do something to help her get out of this RV, but he can't. Not while he's still got a gun to his head. "I can't!" _I'm sorry, Colleen. I'll make it up to you. I promise._

The clown cocks her gun. "Go to the stairwell!"

"Okay!" shrieks Joey. "I'm going! I'm going!"

"Joey!" Roi calls out from the back seat.

The clown handcuffs Joey to the steering wheel, then grabs his face and stares directly into his eyes. "The Carnival Master will be released at sunrise," she proclaims, a malicious smirk on her face, "and this whole damn town is gonna burn!" She laughs maniacally, then licks Joey's face for good measure.

One thought pounds through Joey's mind as the clown leaves the RV: _Here we go again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Joey, Colleen, and Roi try to escape the RV they've been trapped in. Also, Colleen wants to know if Roi is wearing panties. It's not as dirty as it sounds.


	7. RVs, Panties, and Broken Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey's stuck in an RV, but at least he's got Roi and Colleen to help him get out of this jam.

The smooth metal handcuffs feel cold around Colleen's wrists, and she shivers. She makes eye contact with Roi in the back seat. "I'm locked in," she says. "Are you locked in?" They _can't_ stay here. If they do, they're as good as dead. They _have_ to escape somehow.

"Yeah." Roi points at her. "What kind of...do you have, like, a lock?"

She checks her handcuffs. They're being held together by a combination. "I have numbers. I have numbers."

"How many?" he asks.

"Four."

Roi glances at his handcuffs. "I have four also. How about you, Joey?"

Joey squints at his handcuffs. He seems confused. "Where do you see numbers?" he wants to know.

"I have numbers on mine. Are you..." _He must not have a combination. They probably ran out of combination locks, so he got a normal one instead._ "So you need a key." _We gotta figure out two combinations, and then we gotta find a key, and_ then _we can get out of here._

"Yeah," says Joey. "I need a key."

Colleen examines her surroundings. There's a calendar pinned to the wall of the RV, and some of the numbers on it are circled. There's also a magazine behind her, _Best Clown Life,_ which _also_ features circled numbers. Colleen _knows_ that this means something, but none of it makes any sense.

 

Joey's stuck in an RV with Roi and Colleen. Why does he always end up getting stuck in places with his friends? Last time, he and Liza were chained to posts in the ballroom, and if it wasn't for her, he'd probably still be there today.

 _And then you killed her,_ sneers a voice in the back of his head.

Colleen messes with her handcuffs. "Okay, this isn't working!"

"Wait, look!" Joey can see something above his head, but he isn't sure what it is. "There's something above me."

"What is it?" Roi and Colleen ask in unison.

"I don't know."

"Can you reach it?" is Colleen's next question.

Joey stretches his foot towards the roof of the RV. "I can try with my foot." He strains himself, and eventually, he manages to kick the mysterious object to the floor. "Oh! Okay?"

Colleen perks up. "What is it? What is it?"

It's a note. Joey quickly realizes that he doesn't have the flexibility to read it, so he passes it to Colleen using his feet.

"Got it," she says. "Okay."

"What does it say?" Joey asks.

_Lock one: October, Soda, Smoke._

Well, Joey has no clue what that means. He's going to let his friends handle this one.

 

Roi's not scared anymore. For one thing, he's still the Daredevil, and on top of that, he has his friends with him. He _always_ feels better when he's with his friends, no matter what the situation is. They can get out of here. He _knows_ they can.

"October." Colleen looks at the calendar. It's turned to the month of October, and October 13th is circled in blue ink. "So that's thirteen. Soda...smoke..."

There are some cans of Diet Coke not far from Roi. "Oh." It all makes sense now. "So there's a soda can right here."

"There's soda behind you as well," says Joey.

"How many sodas are there?" Roi counts the cans. "Five."

Colleen's eyes light up. "Oh, yeah. One, two, three, four, five, six." She's spotted one extra soda can that Roi missed. "Six, six, six! There's one right here!"

"Okay, got it." _So that's October and Soda. We've only got Smoke left to figure out._

Colleen inserts their current numbers into her combination lock. "Okay, so thirteen, six, and then...smoke?"

"Smoke. Smoke." There are candles everywhere. A lightbulb goes off in Roi's brain. "Oh! Candles! Candles!"

"Candles!" repeats Colleen. "Candles!"

Roi grabs a nearby baseball bat and uses it to point at the candles. "There's candlewicks!"

Joey, though, has a different suggestion. "No, no, no, wait." He nods at an opened pack of cigarettes on the dashboard of the RV. "There's cigarettes up here. Maybe it's the cigarettes."

Come to think of it, that _does_ make more sense than candles. This is why Roi's glad that Joey and Colleen are here.

"Okay." Colleen brushes her dark hair away from her face. "How many?"

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven," Joey counts. "There's seven cigarettes."

So the answer is thirteen, six, and seven. Both Roi and Colleen enter those numbers into their combinations. "Ugh," Colleen sighs. "It's not working."

Roi's handcuffs unlock. "That's mine!" He pulls his hands out of his handcuffs, and he's free at last. "Got it! Got it! I got it!" He's practically dancing with relief. Now he can help his friends without any stupid handcuffs holding him back!

"Come help me!" exclaims Colleen. "Help me! Help me!"

He rushes over. "I'm coming. I'm coming."

"Or help me," says Joey. "Either one."

_Don't worry, guys. I'm gonna help both of you! I'm gonna make sure we all get out alive!_

 

There's another code on the note. Since the first code rescued Roi, Colleen can only assume that the second one is going to set her free. She reads it aloud to the boys.

_Lock two: Milk, Life, Delicates._

"Milk." She turns around, and there's a fridge in the RV. "So can we look in the fridge?"

Joey seconds the motion. "In the fridge! Behind you!"

Roi's already fumbling through the fridge. "Yes!" He comes across three cartons of milk. "Yes! Three!"

"Three. Okay." _One down, two to go._ "Okay, three, and then _Life_ is this magazine." She checks the magazine cover. The number seventeen is circled at the bottom. "Seventeen."

"Okay," says Roi.

Colleen's mind wanders to the final clue. "Delicates?" She's a lady, so she knows what that means. There are panties somewhere on this bus. She _could_ make a dirty joke right now, but they're still in a life-threatening situation, so she won't.

Roi, being a boy, doesn't make the connection right away, and he explores the RV with a puzzled look on his face. "Do we have anything delicate?"

"Roi, check over where you were," orders Joey.

Roi does, and sure enough, he finds exactly what Colleen thought he'd find. "I found some underwear!" He holds up a pair of pink panties.

"I _knew_ it was panties!" Colleen cheers. "I _knew_ it was panties!"

Roi grins at her. "These are delicate!"

"How many?" Colleen asks.

"There's two of them," he answers.

"Okay, two," says Joey. "Try two."

"Three, seventeen, two." Colleen punches the numbers into her lock. No luck. "That didn't work! What? Am I crazy? What's going on?" _Did we screw up? Was it the panties? I bet it was the panties. If those clowns come back right now and kill us, I'm gonna be_ pissed.

"There might be more." Joey grimaces. "Ugh. It smells so musty in here." He briefly breaks into a coughing fit before regaining his composure. "We're really in the 70s right now."

Colleen's still convinced that the panties threw them off. "There's _gotta_ be more panties in this shit."

Roi begins to rummage through the shelves. _He's the only boy in the world right now who's looking for panties without an ulterior motive,_ thinks Colleen, and she almost chuckles.

"Keep looking for the panties, Roi!" shouts Joey.

"I mean," says Colleen, "is it the panties we're wearing?"

Roi blinks. "Huh?"

"We're _wearing_ panties!" she blurts out.

Joey looks offended. "How'd you know I'm wearing panties?"

"Are you wearing panties, Roi?" Colleen asks.

"No," he says. "I'm not."

"You're not wearing panties?" _Doesn't_ everyone _wear panties?_

"No. Try three."

_Oh, of course. Silly Colleen. Boys don't wear panties. Well, unless they're Joey. Guava is probably wearing boxers or briefs._

She decides to stop thinking about Roi's underwear and focus on getting herself out of these handcuffs. _Three, seventeen, three._ "No, it's not working."

"Maybe there's a fourth one," suggests Joey.

Roi finds the answer in the closet. "Oh, guys! Got it! There's _so_ much more!" He emerges with a pair of white panties in each hand. "Okay, five! It's definitely five!"

"Oh, my goodness," says Joey. _"All_ the panties."

 _Three, seventeen, five._ This time, the lock clicks open. "It worked!" she shrieks. "It worked!"

"Yes!" shout both boys at once.

Colleen is free. "We gotta hurry up," she says breathlessly as she springs to her feet. "We gotta get Joey out of here." She knows that they’re still technically in danger of being slaughtered by killer clowns, but she feels courageous anyway.

 

Everyone's out of their handcuffs _except_ for Joey. "Help me, please," he whimpers. A part of him is worried that Roi and Colleen are going to leave him behind as punishment for inviting them to this place.

(His conscience thinks that it's what he deserves.)

But instead, Roi and Colleen run around the RV, searching for the key to unlock Joey. Finally, they find a box with a sticky note on it.

_Remember to renew your subscription._

"The magazine," breathes Colleen through gritted teeth. "And the calendar. We gotta combine those numbers."

So they do. Lo and behold, they are able to open the box, and the key is inside it. Colleen takes the key and frees Joey, who breathes a sigh of relief. "Oh, finally." The day is saved. Well, except for the fact that they're _still_ stuck in an RV that's surrounded by killer clowns, but hey, at least they're getting somewhere.

Roi finds a journal. They gather around it, and Joey reads it aloud (with some help from Colleen).

_When the sun rises, my summoning ritual will be complete, and the sacrifices I have made will have been worth it. The corrupted artifacts have given the power I needed to conform the people of this town to vessels worthy of being consumed by the Cursed God._

"The artifacts!" Joey's dealt with artifacts before, and he thinks he knows what the note is talking about. "What if one of the artifacts was the jack-in-the-box?"

Colleen's voice is brisk and businesslike. "Okay, so if we can collect all the artifacts, maybe we can stop this from happening."

"Oh," Roi gasps in realization.

Joey feels remarkably jaded about this. _Oh. We're dealing with curses this time. I see._

 

 _So that's it, then!_ thinks Roi. _That's what we came here to do! We gotta collect all the artifacts, and then we can save the town from being consumed by the "Cursed God," whoever that is._ Everlock needs heroes. It's up to him and his friends to make sure that good triumphs over evil.

Of course, before they do that, they have to get out of this RV.

"Guys, we need to make an escape," says Joey, grabbing the baseball bat that Roi put down. "We can fight."

Colleen's jaw drops. _"Fight?_ We can't fight clowns!"

"We can fight them," Joey repeats, and Roi wants to believe him. After everything those clowns did to him, his friends, the mayor, and those poor townspeople, it would feel _so_ satisfying to knock a few of them upside the head. But the more logical part of him isn't sure if they're strong enough to take on a whole army of killer clowns.

_Oh, well. We can try! And if we die, at least we'll die fighting!_

To be honest, that's not a very comforting thought.

The door opens, and one of the clowns barges into the RV. "Screaming like a bunch of goddamn children!" he snarls. Joey whacks him with the bat.

"Go!" yells Colleen. "Go, go, go!"

Roi runs through the door and into the night as fast as his legs can carry him. He's a good runner, so he _thinks_ he has a chance at getting away. _Keep running,_ he tells himself, trying to ignore the screams of his friends behind him. _Don't look back. Keep running. Stay alive._

He's a good distance away from the RV when a clown comes out of nowhere and grabs him by the strings of his jacket. "No!" He tries to squirm out of her grasp, but it's too late. He's been caught.

As if that isn't bad enough, Joey and Colleen didn't even make it past the RV's entrance. They, too, have been recaptured by the clowns. "No!" screams Joey as one of the clowns wrestles the bat away from him. "No! No! _No!"_

 _Not again!_ Roi fruitlessly fights his captors as they drag him, Joey, and Colleen towards the carousel. _Not after we worked so hard to get out of that RV! Where are the others? What's gonna happen now?_

The clowns tie the three YouTubers to the carousel. "Welcome to Everlock!" snickers the head clown. "Didn't I tell you that we'd be friends soon?"

"This isn't friendship," spits Colleen.

The head clown flashes a demented smile at her. "Oh, you're a feisty one! Well, at any rate, you three are going to stay right here until we round up the rest of your friends. That's when the _real_ fun begins!" She is possessed by another fit of terrifying laughter.

Roi responds with the first heroic phrase that comes to mind. "You're not gonna get away with this!"

"We already have, sweetheart," she replies between giggles. "We already have."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: What _most_ of the rest of the crew was doing during all this. Also, Mortimer misses his mom, and everyone gets to play with a pinball machine.


	8. Secrets of the Arcade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Manny, Nikita, Jc, Teala, and Safiya are safe in the arcade, but they're not just going to sit around and do nothing. They're going to get stuff done!

Things have gone from "this is fun" to "oh God someone save us" in about five minutes flat. Now, three of Manny's friends have been captured by killer clowns, two more are stuck on the Ferris wheel with no way to get down, and he's in an arcade with his remaining friends, surrounded by clowns and trying not to scream.

"What the hell is going on?" Teala demands to know.

Nikita points at Mortimer, who is a pile of sadness on the couch. "His mom just got thrown off a building!"

Manny notices the anguished expression on Mortimer's face, and his heart breaks for him. "Are you okay?" he asks. "Your mom literally just got thrown. Are you okay?"

"Is she..." stammers Teala. The word "dead" hangs like a weight in the air.

When Mortimer finally speaks, his words are jagged pieces of broken glass. "They got your friends, huh?"

"Well, what about your mom?" asks Nikita.

Mortimer is quiet for a few moments. His eyes are blank with grief. Manny thinks of his _own_ mom, and he tears up at the thought of being in Mortimer's shoes right now. _I'm sorry I thought you were fishy earlier. You didn't deserve to watch your mom die._

Finally, Mortimer rises to his feet. "I mean, my mom was a fighter," he says quietly. "She wouldn't want me to give up now. All of you guys, too."

"Okay," says Manny. "Give up on what?"

"I don't know!" Mortimer's voice grows louder. "Whatever this is!" He picks up the jack-in-the-box, which somehow made it back to the arcade with them. "This thing is one of the Carnival Master's artifacts. I didn't realize until you opened it, but..." He breathes heavily, as if he's trying to calm himself down. "He's been using them to corrupt this town...I mean...for years. My mom always pretended it wasn't happening."

He puts the jack-in-the-box back on the table, and he brushes his hair out of his face. The cute charmer that Manny got an earful about from Nikita is gone, replaced with a troubled but determined man.

Manny bites his lip. _I guess that's our mission,_ he thinks. _We gotta uncorrupt this town. Somehow._

 

Teala's the Super Spy, so her first rule is "don't trust anyone." That _includes_ Mortimer. Yeah, he seems a bit upset right now, but what if it's an act? What if he's planning on betraying them to the clowns?

"Do you know how we can save our friends?" asks Nikita.

"I mean..." Mortimer shrugs. "This is the clown's hangout. So..."

 _Okay._ Teala smiles. _If this is the clowns' hangout, maybe there's something in this room that can help us defeat them._

Nikita finds a box that has the letters R, B, G, and Y on it. Everyone gathers around the box. "Red, blue, green, yellow," they recite together, as if they're primary school students learning about colors.

"Okay," says Nikita. "So..."

Manny finishes her sentence. "We have to get into it!"

They start looking around the room. "R, G, B, Y," chants Nikita. "R, G, B, Y."

Teala finds those very letters on a pinball machine. "This is R, B, G, Y," she reports, "but this isn't on."

"They actually have it on here," says Manny, rushing over to join her.

On one hand, Teala's glad that there's an answer to this puzzle. On the other hand, she's still confused. "How do we turn this on?"

 

Everyone looks around the room, trying to figure out how to turn on the pinball machine. Manny looks at the corkboard, and _bingo, bitch!_ There's the answer! It's right there on one of the flyers!

_REMINDER: Scores get erased at the end of each day._

"Why don't we erase everything and see what's left?" suggests Nikita.

Manny smiles at her. "That's not a bad idea."

Together, the two beauty gurus erase one of the scoreboards while the other three YouTubers look on. Sure enough, three letters remain, even after everything else has vanished into chalk dust. "Tim!" announces Nikita.

Manny squawks in shock.

"Erase them all!" orders Safiya, a take-charge expression on her face. "Erase them all!"

They erase every scoreboard they find. There's a little piece of something left on every single one. Manny is living the whole solving-clue fantasy, and for a few minutes, he forgets that all of them could die.

 

Safiya quickly realizes that the letters _mean_ something. Together, they spell out a message, and that message explains exactly what they need to do to get the pinball machine up and running.

_Tap six times on glass._

So she taps her fist against the pinball machine. "One, two, three, four, five, six."

The pinball machine roars to life. Everyone gasps. Nikita screams.

"Omigod," murmurs Teala.

"Oh, I'm shook," says Manny.

Safiya shrugs. Everything always has an explanation, and this pinball machine is no different.

 

What these random people might not know about Nikita is that she _loves_ games. She might not be a video game nerd like MatPat, but when it comes to pinball, she can play circles around the best of them. It's time for her to show these bitches what she can do.

"I got it." She steps up to the pinball machine and gets the party started.

The machine goes _ding._ Nikita prepares to knock down one of the letters, but the ball zips through the machine and falls out of play before she has the chance.

Okay, so _maybe_ she was exaggerating her pinball expertise a bit.

Everyone starts talking at once. They're probably making fun of her, but Nikita doesn't care. She doesn't care about anything. "Okay." She steps back. "You guys take turns." _They probably won't be able to do any better._

Teala goes next. She knocks over a letter on the first try.

Nikita pouts internally.

 

Everyone takes turns on the pinball machine. One by one, the letters are knocked down, and one by one, the locks on the box click open. Jc thinks that this box's locking system is a bit silly, but whatever. If that's the way it is, then that's the way it is, and they just have to roll with it.

Eventually, there is only one letter left. Jc tries to knock it down, but his pinball skills are getting a little rusty, so he fails. Nikita and Teala go next, but neither of them have any luck.

Then, it's Manny's turn.

The pretty young Record Producer blows on his hand, then pretends to dust the machine. Jc laughs. _Yeah, we're still in danger, but I gotta admit, this is fun to watch. Sure beats my usual Friday evening schedule._

Manny successfully knocks over the final letter. The last lock on the box clicks open. Everyone cheers. "Yeah!" shouts Jc. "That was nice!"

Nikita opens the box. Inside is a gear, accompanied by a note.

_To restore the Jack-Is-Dead-In-The-Box, its evil parts must be replaced. They're not easily found, but once exchanged, the clowns will laugh no more._

Jc relaxes. That's not too hard. All they have to do is replace a bunch of parts, and then, hopefully, the killer clowns will go away. _That's good. Yeah. Everything's going fantastic._ He'll be perfectly happy to wave goodbye to the clowns' evil grins.

 

The arcade is still surrounded by clowns. "Little scared babies, let us in!" cackles one of them, pounding her meaty hands against the window. Teala's heart thumps. She _hates_ clowns, and after tonight, she's pretty sure that she's going to hate them even more.

Safiya examines the jack-in-the-box. "So the things we have to replace are the spring, this turn thing, these little keys, and I think also the guy who lives inside the jack." She's so smart. Teala wishes she could be like her.

"Yep," says Manny. "The little dude."

Nikita holds up the spring. "You guys wanna take these out and go look for them, or no?"

Teala thinks that they need to leave this arcade. After all, their friends are still in trouble, and the longer they stay here, the greater the chance that Joey, Roi, Colleen, Matt, and Rosanna are dead. It's better for them to get out of here, find the five missing YouTubers, and leave Everlock before anyone gets hurt.

"Look, just hold on to this," says Mortimer, pointing to the note in Manny's hand, "and I'll hold on to _this_ for you guys." He takes the jack-in-the-box.

Teala still isn't sure if she trusts him.

 

Safiya spends about a minute wondering why Mortimer wants the box, but then, she's distracted by familiar screams from outside. _It's our friends._ She'd recognize their voices anywhere. _They're alive, which is good, but they're in trouble._

"Oh, wow," says Jc, who's peeking at the chaos through the window blinds.

Teala's expression morphs into concern. "Is that Joey?"

"That's Joey and Roi," reports Jc.

"And Colleen," adds Teala as the Disco Dancer's defiant outburst of "this isn't friendship" rings through the night.

Manny is very obviously shook. "Are you _serious?"_

"Okay, wait," says Nikita calmly. "Wait, wait, wait."

But Safiya's done waiting. "We have to save them," she declares, her hands balled into fists against her sides. She doesn't like clowns, especially clowns with weapons, but she'd rather deal with clowns than let her friends die.

Teala nods in agreement. "We need to get out of this arcade!"

"If that's what you want," says Mortimer. He opens the door.

"Just run," Safiya reminds the group right before they take off. She swallows the lump in her suddenly-dry throat. "Just run."

They flee the arcade like a flock of frightened birds. The clowns attack immediately, capturing Jc and Teala before they've gone very far at all. Nikita is caught shortly afterwards. Manny skids to a halt when he sees Nikita in the clutches of a clown, giving another clown an opening to snatch him up as well. Mortimer inconspicuously yet conspicuously disappears.

Safiya keeps running. Just when she thinks she's safe, the clowns' leader grabs her hand. "Where do you think _you're_ going?"

"Not with you!" She tries to yank her hand out of the clown's grasp, but the clown laughs and squeezes it tighter.

They're taken to the carousel, where Joey, Roi, and Colleen are already tied up. "Come join the party!" squeals a clown. Safiya, Manny, Nikita, Jc, and Teala are tied to the carousel alongside their friends.

There's no sign of Matt or Rosanna. Safiya can't even see them on the Ferris wheel anymore. She hopes, for their sake, that they're somewhere far away from this insanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: There are still two YouTubers who have not been accounted for. Let's check in on Matt, Rosanna, and their stuffed animals! Also, Calliope kicks butt.


	9. Matt and Rosanna's Excellent Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Rosanna are still trapped on the Ferris wheel. Will they make it down? Or will they end up as the first two casualties of this twisted night?

The chaos is over. The corpses of Everlock citizens litter the ground, and the gang of murderous clowns is all that's left of the beautiful carnival that Rosanna loved so much. She scoots closer to Matt, her palms sweating, her heart pounding.

She sees the RV. _Joey's in there,_ she frets. _Colleen, too. And Roi. What if they've been hurt? Or worse? I have to do something!_

"Why don't we try to distract the clowns so they can get out of the van?" she suggests to Matt.

"All right, you little shits!" the head clown shouts at her compatriots. "Get over here!"

Matt turns to Rosanna, a glimmer of hope on his face. "That's not a bad idea."

"I mean, what do you think?" She grins at him. "Are you pretty impressed?"

"Oh, man, we're having fun," chuckles one of the clowns, and another one laughs like a maniac. Rosanna doesn't understand why they think that killing people is fun. Killing people is _awful!_ It's the worst thing in the world!

She's _not_ going to let them hurt her friends anymore. She may be small, and she may be stuck on a Ferris wheel right now, but she can still step up to the plate and save everyone. Can't she?

"Throw something to distract them," she whispers. "Throw your horse!"

Matt defiantly clings to Blanche. "No!"

"Let's go hurt some people!" screams the head clown from below them.

"Fine!" Rosanna sets her jaw. "You won't do it? I will!" She's already grown to love her sweet little stuffed dog, but if Blueberry is the price she must pay to save her friends, then she is more than happy to pay that price. "Bye, Blueberry!" She throws the dog off the Ferris wheel.

Matt's jaw drops. "What are you—"

"I got a gift!" shrieks one of the clowns. "It's a puppy!" She laughs maniacally as she marches towards the Ferris wheel, sledgehammer at the ready.

"Okay," whimpers Rosanna. _I'm sorry, Blueberry. That might've been a mistake._

 

"Go let them down now!" bellows the clown with the sledgehammer. She's staring at them with hungry eyes, and Matt has a _very bad_ feeling about this.

Rosanna grabs Matt's arm. "Matt?"

"Oh, shoot." _The clowns here kill._ "Wait. No."

"Matt, that's us now," says Rosanna matter-of-factly.

The Ferris wheel roars to life. "Oh, no!" squeaks Matt. "No!" He doesn't want to come down anymore. He wants to stay up here forever, chatting with Rosanna about whatever silly thoughts come to their heads. That would be a _much_ better fate than the one that awaits them now.

Their passenger cart is slowly lowered to the ground. The clown with the sledgehammer is waiting for them. "I wanna _taste_ you!" she bellows, and Matt decides not to think about the implications of that remark.

"Oh, dammit." Matt's not afraid of conflict...except that's a lie, and he totally is. Getting beaten to death by a clown's sledgehammer is _not_ something he wants to experience firsthand. He likes his head just the way it is, thank you very much!

The clown is swinging her hammer around. "Feel that sledgehammer!"

 _Oh, no. Oh, no. We're going to die. This clown is going to kill us._ Hopefully, if the worst happens, she'll kill him first, and he won't have to watch her kill Rosanna. _Maybe Ro can get away. She's small. She can just slip past the clown and run._

His family pops into his head. His heart goes crazy with fear.

They reach the ground. The Ferris wheel comes to a stop. "Oh, oh, I'm having a really hard time getting out of here," says Matt, fumbling around in the passenger cart in an effort to buy them more time. "Oh, this is so hard. Oh, we're not stalling at all." _Please, God, if you're listening, don't let us die!_

His prayer is answered in the form of Calliope, who comes out of nowhere and starts whacking the clown with a cane. The clown doesn't even have enough time to fight back before she's overpowered.

"Yes!" exclaims Rosanna. "Yes! Yes!"

Matt echoes her sentiment, relief flooding his soul. "Yes! Thank you!"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" chants Rosanna.

A final blow from Calliope's cane sends the clown toppling to the ground in an unconscious heap. Calliope catches her breath and turns to face the thankful pair of YouTubers. "She's a huge bitch," she pants.

Matt couldn't agree more.

They run into a nearby tent. "Ro!" Her name bursts out of Matt's mouth like a tiny cheer. _She's okay. I'm okay. We're both okay._ "Okay, I think we're good." He turns around, and there's Calliope, the woman to whom they both owe their lives. "Hey! Omigosh, thank you so much!" He pulls her into a hug.

Her expression indicates that no one's ever hugged her before. Well, as far as Matt's concerned, she deserves _all_ the hugs after what she did for them. She's their friend now. Together, they will figure out the truth about this place.

 

In the chaos of their escape, Rosanna and Matt somehow managed to hold on to their newspaper _and_ their blanket. Now, they reexamine the newspaper, and Rosanna sees something that she didn't notice before. "There's a bunch of joker hats," she says. "There's four joker hats." They're printed on the newspaper in black ink.

"So what would that mean?" asks Calliope.

Matt sets Blanche down. His eyes travel around the tent. "Maybe around here?"

Rosanna, too, looks around the tent. There are tons of boxes, a toilet, and all sorts of miscellaneous items. It's very odd.

"Wait." Matt picks up a pillow. "I got one symbol." He shows the underbelly of the pillow to Rosanna, and there's a joker hat on the pillowcase. "So it's not actually a hat. It's a symbol."

Shortly afterwards, Rosanna finds a piñata with a joker hat on it. It's larger than herself. "Yeah!" She picks up a baseball bat. It's time for her to take her feelings out on this poor defenseless giraffe. She'd normally feel bad for it, but she's too hyped up to care. "Let's do this!"

"There's a bat," says Calliope. "Perfect."

"Ro's got some repressed rage from being stuck on the Ferris wheel," is Matt's assessment of what's about to happen. "I'd watch out." He moves out of the way.

Rosanna whacks the piñata with the baseball bat.

"Oh!" cheers Matt. "Good swing!"

"There it is, there it is," repeats Calliope.

But Rosanna isn't done yet. "That's for taking Joey!" she admonishes the piñata as she continues her attack.

Matt is an excellent cheerleader. "Do one for your dog!"

Rosanna thinks of Blueberry for a few moments, and then, she thinks of Cookie. She left her with Mike tonight, but the little French bulldog was a bit clingier than usual. It was as if she didn't want Rosanna to go. Rosanna promised her that she'd be back tomorrow morning, and clowns or no clowns, she still intends to keep that promise. "Yeah!" She beats up the piñata until she cracks it open.

Inside, they find a small wooden piece.

"We need to look inside these objects," says Matt, so he and Rosanna pull apart a pillow. "This is really satisfying, actually." He picks up a handful of pillow fluff. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yes!" He's found another wooden piece. "Yes!"

"Yes!" It's Calliope who puts two and two together. "The frame!"

She points to a mysterious mirror that's off to one side of the tent. The mirror, which is adorned with four lightbulbs, is missing several pieces, so Matt and Rosanna take the two pieces they have so far and place them back in their proper spots on the mirror. Two out of the four lightbulbs light up.

Calliope points to the lightbulbs. "You see? The light."

"Are you sure?" asks Rosanna, but then she notices the lightbulbs, and she feels silly.

"Okay," says Matt. "That's two."

It doesn't take Rosanna long to find the third joker hat, which is on the lid of a box. She gasps. "Third. It's inside." She opens it, and sure enough, the third piece waits for her. "Here it is! Matt! I got another one!"

Matt smile at her. "Awesome. Great."

 _There's one piece left,_ thinks Rosanna. _I wonder where it could be?_

 

They look for the last piece. Matt feels like he's flipped this whole tent upside down, but there's _still_ no sign of the fourth jester hat. _Is there anywhere we haven't checked?_

Unfortunately for them, there is.

"Have we seen anything in the toilet?" he asks Rosanna. She flips the lid open, and they are greeted with a toilet bowl that's filled to the brim with the most disgusting poop that Matt has ever seen. It's brown, it's slimy, it _stinks_...and yet, it contains the final jester hat. "Oh," Matt groans. "But there's a clue."

"Oh, _Matt,"_ sighs Rosanna.

Calliope heads for the entrance to the tent. "I'll keep watch."

"Oh, yeah! Uh-huh! Yeah, _now_ you're gonna keep watch! Sure!" Matt sees right through her. She just doesn't want to touch the toilet, which is perfectly understandable, except now _he_ has to touch it. "Great." He grimaces. _This is gonna suck!_

"It's gotta be in there," says Rosanna, pointing to the toilet.

He sighs. "It does."

"But..." She pauses, then turns to look at him. "Why don't we both do it?"

"Really?" He's already rolling up his sleeves. "Together?" Maybe if he and Rosanna work together, this crappy task won't be so bad.

The two of them prepare to touch the poop. "I can get dirty!" insists Rosanna, but three seconds later, she's cringing, gagging, and saying "Oooh!" in the most scandalized voice imaginable. "Okay."

"Here we go," says Matt.

Rosanna winces. "This is teamwork." Her voice is laced with reluctant determination.

"Here, let's do it." Matt leans over the toilet, his hand hovering over the poop. "Okay, ready?" _I hope I don't throw up in front of Ro._ "One. Two. Three."

They both plunge their hands into the toilet.

"Oh, God," Matt almost sobs as the brown stuff squishes around his fingers. "It's so..." He can't even _look_ at it. "It's so gross!"

"Oh, wow, oh, wow," Rosanna says over and over.

 _Well,_ thinks Matt, _the clues have been inside things. Maybe I need to start, like, squeezing the turds._ He doesn't want to squeeze the turds, but since the other option is "sit here in this tent and wait for the sweet release of death," he decides to squeeze the turds. "Oh, God." He's close to revolted tears. Just when he thinks that he really _is_ about to throw up, he discovers something mercifully solid. "Ugh. I got it. I got it." He's found the fourth piece.

Rosanna coughs. Both of them take their hands out of the toilet.

"Bless you, child," says Calliope.

He brushes her off with a simple "no problem." Sure, his stomach might be in open revolt against him, but at least they have all four pieces.

Calliope points at the mirror with her cane. "That's the last light."

"Ugh." Matt starts walking around Rosanna to get to the mirror. "I don't know if the light wants to be installed this way. Here." The poop-stained piece brushes against the back of Rosanna's dress. "Oh, no!"

The little Jet Setter looks absolutely appalled. "Did you just get that on my _outfit?!?"_ she screams.

Matt's wheezing with laughter. "I'm so sorry."

_"Matthew!"_

"Sorry! It was totally not on purpose!"

"Matthew, did you just get that on my outfit?" She stomps her foot. "How _dare_ you! This is _vintage!"_

While Rosanna throws her little fit, Matt completes the mirror. The final light turns on. "Four lights!" shouts Matt. A drawer pops open. "Oh! It opened something!"

Rosanna takes out their new prizes. "There's a note and a key."

Matt glances back at the toilet, and it occurs to him that they could've used a stick or something. He tries to rationalize their decision in his brain for about five minutes, but eventually, he gives up. _Yeah, in retrospect, we could've found a stick._

 

Rosanna cannot _believe_ the _nerve_ of Matthew "MatPat" Patrick. How _dare_ he ruin her outfit! As soon as they get out of this mess, she's going to _kill_ him!

No, she isn't. Not really. She just won't hang out with him for a month. That'll teach him.

Okay, that's too harsh. A week. No Matt-and-Ro for a week.

Actually, no. Not even that. She'll just write him a strongly worded letter, and everything will go back to normal. She can't stay mad at him.

She wipes herself off with a nearby mattress. "You're good!" Matt tells her once she's done. "Your butt is clean!"

Well, she sure _hopes_ it is.

Rosanna, Matt, and Calliope leave the tent. _We gotta find our friends,_ thinks Rosanna. _We gotta make sure that they're okay. Then, we can save Joey, and everything will be—_

They're attacked by clowns.

Rosanna screams. "Go!" hollers Matt. "Don't talk! Just _go!"_ Calliope is knocked out by the same clown she beat up earlier, prompting a cry of "Calliope, no!" from Matt.

Rosanna's heart is going so fast that she feels like it's about to give out. She and Matt run from the clowns, screaming all the way.

 

Matt takes Rosanna's hand and pulls her into the empty arcade. "Go in there! Go that way!" _We gotta hide! We can't let them find us! Where is everyone, anyway? I thought they were all in here!_

She hides. He scrambles to find a hiding place, but an especially bulky clown finds him first.

The clown grabs him by his shoulders and drags him out of the arcade, where a horde of leering murderers await him. "What? No!" He struggles. The words "What about Ro?" come out of his mouth before he realizes that _oh, crap, I shouldn't have said anything about Ro! Now they're going to come for her!_ "No!" _Don't hurt her, you maniacs! Do whatever you want to me, but please, leave Ro alone! She doesn't deserve this!_

His dreams are dashed when he hears her scream. _They've found her._ He kicks himself for giving her away.

He's dragged to the carousel. All the other YouTubers are there already, tied to poles like criminals. "What happened?" Matt cries out to his friends, but none of them answer him.

He sees Rosanna. The clown who got her has a bat with spikes on it, and that bat is dangerously close to her head. _If they go Negan on her, I'll never forgive myself._

Tears prick his eyelids as he's tied to the carousel. "No," he whimpers, but it's a whimper of defeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Death takes the form of a clown. Also, Safiya feels slighted, Colleen looks on the bright side, and Nikita would like to remind you that she's pretty.


	10. The Carousel of Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has been captured by the murderous clowns. If someone doesn't do something soon, the story will end right here.

Safiya's heart sinks when she sees that Matt and Rosanna have also been captured. Now, there's no one left who can escape. They're all here, together, tied to carousel poles, at the mercy of a group of bloodthirsty clowns.

"Little Orphan Annie's so cute!" one of the clowns gushes at Rosanna.

Another clown gets dangerously close to Nikita. "I can smell your fear!"

"Get away from her!" Joey shouts, but he's ignored.

A third clown leers at Matt. "Hey," Matt stammers. "Hi."

 _We're not people to them,_ realizes Safiya as she watches the clowns get up close and personal with the YouTubers. _We're playthings. Pieces of meat. Fragile toys that can easily be broken._ She's racking her brain for a way to avoid being killed by these clowns right now, but she's got nothing. _This could be the end._

She's not ready for this to be the end.

 

 _We're gonna get killed._ The thought pumps through Manny's brain like poison, and he shivers. _They're gonna carve us to bits with those knives. Or worse._ He isn't comfortable with the way some of these clowns are looking at him.

"We want our _box_ back, you filthy cretin!" snarls the leader of the clowns.

Manny's pretty sure that the clowns _gave_ that box to Joey, but he likes being alive, so he keeps his mouth shut.

Instead, Joey speaks up. "Well, we don't have it."

"You _stole_ it from us!" she screams.

Joey turns to the others. "Who has the box?" he demands to know.

"Mortimer," Manny replies. "Mortimer has it." _Mortimer took off with the box! That bitch! We trusted him, and he pulls this shit! He better have something miraculous up his sleeve, or my ghost is gonna haunt his ass forever._

 

This is all Joey's fault. He accepted this quest. He brought his friends here. He was foolish enough to believe that there was a way to make things right. Now, they're about to die on this carousel.

_I'm sorry, everyone. I failed you. I failed you all._

A green-haired clown with a six-pack wiggles a pair of red dice in front of them. He's attractive, but there's a hungry expression on his face, as if he wants to eat them alive. Joey feels sick to his stomach.

"We're gonna roll our Dice of Death," says the head clown, pointing a knife at her prisoners, "and whoever's number comes up, I gut 'em! I gut 'em right here in front of your friends! Unless..." She cackles as she speaks. "Unless Luke rolls a twelve, and then, then I let one of you go! Do you feel lucky?"

She presses a big red button. The carousel starts spinning. All of Joey's friends begin to freak out.

"No! No!"

"Omigod, stop!"

"I don't want to die!"

 _This is it._ Joey watches Everlock fly past him, and he closes his eyes. _One of us is going to die right here, right now._

 

Nikita wants to kill every single one of these ugly-ass clowns. How _dare_ they? How _dare_ they tie them to this thing, spin them around like a top, and wave knives at them? Assholes! If she wasn't tied up, she could _totally_ take them!

Luke, if that's even his _real_ name, rolls the Dice of Death. "Eight," he barks.

"What?" Nikita wasn't paying attention when they numbered them off, so she doesn't know who has what number. _Who's gonna get gutted first? It better not be—_

They're pointing at her. She's Number Eight, and she's about to die.

 _Of course!_ she steams. _They're gonna kill the pretty one!_ She struggles against her bonds, desperate to get off this ride before her life is brought to a bloody end.

"You're all gonna die!" cheers a fat clown with a baseball bat.

Nikita feels lightheaded from all the spinning she's done, and her mind is a frantic garbage fire of panic, but despite her fear, her heart hardens in her chest. If this really _is_ where she dies, she's not going to give them the satisfaction of watching her beg for her life. She's Nikita Dragun. She will die as a Dragun should: proudly, defiantly, with her head held high.

But first, she's gonna try her damnedest to get out of here.

She keeps fighting. Her friends' screams ring in her ears. The clowns prepare to stop the carousel.

Then, all of a sudden, a motorcycle roars into view. It's Mortimer. Nikita's spirits soar. Of _course_ he's going to save her! She's a beautiful blonde damsel in distress, and he's her handsome hero who's coming to the rescue. It's like something out of a storybook!

 

Mortimer's motorcycle rumbles to a stop. He whips out a gun and shoots the head clown in the arm, causing her to scream, drop her knife, and run away. The clown named Luke throws knives at him, but he dodges them. He uses his motorcycle to break down the door to a little pub called Fat Man Slims.

"Omigod!" exclaims Joey.

Roi stops squirming and watches the awesomeness happen.

Mortimer parks his motorcycle and steps out to face the clowns. He throws his motorcycle helmet at them, glares at them through vengeful eyes, and opens fire.

Roi's changed his mind about Mortimer. He's a good guy now! No, he's more than that; he's a _hero!_ He's the first bona fide hero they've met in this town! Roi's going to have to ask him for some pointers!

The clowns run away from Mortimer's bullets. Calliope arrives, and she shoots sparks of fire at the retreating clowns.

 _They're so cool!_ Roi squees internally. _This is so freakin' cool!_

 

Once the clowns are out of sight, Mortimer unties Colleen. Well, he unties everyone, but mostly Colleen. Calliope helps him.

"There you go," says Mortimer with a smile as he helps Colleen slip out of her restraints.

Colleen blushes. "Thanks, Mortimer." _I think I love you._

Matt leaps off the carousel as soon as he's freed, and he hugs the living daylights out of a very happy Manny. Colleen runs to join them. "Omigod," gasps Manny breathlessly. "I thought we were done."

 _Me too, Manny._ Colleen is _so glad_ to be out of that situation. She doesn't much care for the thought of being murdered by a bunch of crazy people, so thank God for Mortimer, that's for sure.

The rescued YouTubers gather in front of the carousel. Colleen frowns. _I feel like we're forgetting someone..._

"Still tied up!" complains Safiya. "Cool!" She rolls her eyes.

_Oh. Right. Sorry, Saf._

 

Safiya is freed, and everyone makes a run for it. As Rosanna takes off, she sees the pair of red dice that the clowns left behind. The Dice of Death, they were called. _I'm gonna take these,_ thinks Rosanna as she picks them up. _These could be something._

They reach the arcade. "Get inside!" orders Joey. "Get inside!"

The ten YouTubers, plus Calliope and Mortimer, run into the arcade. Once everyone's inside, Roi picks up a piece of wood and uses it to barricade the door.

"Omigod." Manny has a hand to his heart. "We're good? Everything's good?"

Rosanna nods. Everything's good now. They're all safe, and no one's hurt. Now, they just have to save this town, and then they can go home.

 

Their little adventure on the carousel was complete chaos, but at least it's over now. At least they know what they have to do to get rid of the clowns. Jc's never cleansed an artifact before, but hey, that'll be another thing to check off his bucket list. Plus, it'll be a cool story to tell his friends when he gets back to 2018.

He overhears Mortimer and Calliope talking. "So it looks like we're in this together, huh?" says Mortimer, a boyish grin on his face.

Her expression is made of stone. "Sure looks like it, pretty boy."

Jc shrugs. He has more important things to worry about than Mortimer and Calliope's relationship. What do they have right now? What might be of help?

They take stock of their possessions. There's the jack-in-the-box, of course. Matt has a key and a note. Colleen has a journal. Rosanna has the dice that the clowns were using. Now, they have to put these things together to help them figure out what to do next.

"Okay, so what do we have to do?" asks Colleen.

Manny points ahead of him. "That way."

"What are these?" Jc picks up the dice. "The two dice go where?"

Joey and Teala open a nearby fridge. "Guys!" Joey holds up a stalk of celery. "I found some celery!" He sounds very proud of himself.

 _Yeah, that's it,_ thinks Jc. _Joey's celery is gonna save us all._ He chuckles. It's going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The truth comes out...people are going to die. Also, Matt has too much to live for, and Roi suppresses bad memories.


	11. The Third Game Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For now, our heroes are safe from the clowns. But they are about to learn the truth behind their mission to Everlock...and they're _not_ going to be happy about what they have to do.

The group opens the journal and comes across a map of the room they're currently standing in. _Well, that's convenient,_ thinks Rosanna with a happy little shrug. _It's like whoever wrote this knew we were coming!_

They search the back wall. Matt checks behind the corkboard, and he finds a locked case. "There's a secret chest or something, and I have the key," he reports back to the others.

"Maybe that's what the key's for!" suggests Teala.

Mortimer raises an eyebrow. "You guys have a key?"

"Yes!" chants Rosanna. "Yes! Yes!" She _knew_ that key was going to come in handy!

Matt tries the key. Sure enough, the case unlocks, and he opens it to reveal two giant square holes in the wall.

"Does the dice fit in there?" Teala asks.

"The dice!" shouts Nikita. "The dice!"

Teala sounds excited. "Put the dice in there!"

So they put the dice in the holes. The word ON lights up next to Joey's abandoned celery, and the group realizes that the fridge is running. "Is it in there?" is Colleen's reaction.

Roi opens the fridge. Inside is not a fridge at all, but a secret passageway to their own hidden lounge. Everyone gasps. They travel through the passageway, and once they're in the lounge, they all start talking at once.

"This is insane."

"This is everything! Oh, I like this room _way_ more!"

"This is much better!"

"I _love_ this room!"

It's the most magical, beautiful, perfect lounge that Rosanna has ever seen. There are comfy chairs and sofas everywhere, there are display cases on the wall, the decorations are fabulous, and the whole place gives off an aura of peace. Rosanna loves it already.

 

If Safiya was to describe the lounge in four words, it would be "Brady Bunch sex dungeon." It just gives off that vibe. She has no idea why _that_ is what she thinks of their new room, but then again, she's always been a little odd.

"The furniture's _so_ cute!" gushes Manny.

Colleen falls into a couch with a smile on her face. "Who cares about clowns?"

"Gosh," says Matt, "it's like the ultimate swinger pad!"

Joey's dancing in his seat.

Safiya smiles as she watches her friends enjoy themselves. _At least we're happy._ They haven't been happy since the clowns attacked, so this is a nice change of pace.

 

As he explores the gorgeous lounge, Manny discreetly slips his hand into his pocket, and his fingers brush against a tube of lip gloss. _Oh, thank God. It's still there. I've still got my gloss._ He brought it with him just in case he needs to touch up his look while saving the town, and he's glad to know that it didn't fall out of his pocket during the chaos. Hopefully, the rest of the night won't be as crazy as the past hour has been.

Well, as much as he wants to sit around and admire the decor, he should get back to work. What in this room looks like it could be helpful to them in any way, shape, or form?

Oh! There's a map on the wall!

"That's the town," says Mortimer, pointing to the map.

Colleen squints at it. "Town of Everlock."

Everyone gathers around the map. "So we're here," says Joey, pointing to the hand-drawn version of the arcade. A golden message gleams on the corner of the map: _The cleansing of each artifact will reveal more._ There's also a weird symbol there. It's the same symbol that was on Joey's satchel. Manny vaguely recalls seeing that symbol on a TV broadcast, but he can't for the life of him remember what it means.

"Maybe there's something on the back," says Nikita. She takes the map off the wall, and sure enough, there's a whole summary of what the hell is going on. Premise, middle, end. It's all here.

Time to get to the bottom of this Everlock mystery.

 

Nikita brings the map over to the table at the center of the lounge. "Lay it out flat," Manny tells her.

"Lay it out, honey!" exclaims Teala.

So Nikita lays it out. She's _so_ glad that they finally have some answers. _Bring on the mission! I'm not scared! What do we have to do? How the hell are we going to "cleanse" this creepy jack-in-the-box?_

She reads the message aloud.

_We were too late. Even with all of our Society's knowledge, we didn't understand the Carnival Master's dark plan. To save Everlock, we froze it in time to give us a chance to stop him, but we were no match for his wrath. Realizing all was lost, I used the last of my life magic to encase him in an amber prison. But the spell has reached its end. At sunrise, the Carnival Master will be released from his prison and will consume all life in Everlock._

_There are eight corrupted artifacts, which the Carnival Master draws power from. If they can be gathered and cleansed of evil, the Carnival Master will be weakened and can be slain. However, the artifacts are protected, and whenever touched, their evil guardian appears. The final act to cleanse each artifact will require voting on two who must undertake a horrifying challenge that only one will survive._

_By sunrise, if the artifacts have not been cleansed and the Carnival Master slain, everyone in town, including you, will be destroyed._

Nikita blinks. The words are still there, glimmering at her in pitch-black ink, and one thought races through her flabbergasted mind: _What the hell?!?_

 

Roi came to save Everlock. He knew that it would be dangerous, because it said so on the invitation, but he thought that everyone could still survive. He thought it would be a typical good-vs-evil story, where they'd fight bad guys, rescue innocent people, and find a happy ending.

But...the note says that people are going to _die._ And if they do nothing, they're _all_ going to die.

This isn't the awesome adventure that he signed up for.

"Okay, I thought I was gonna save a town, but now we gotta save ourselves?" says Rosanna, summing up Roi's thoughts on this bombshell.

"Yes," Manny replies. "I mean, hopefully."

Colleen rounds on Joey. "You said we were gonna save a town! You didn't say we were all gonna _die!"_

 _Am_ I _gonna die?_ Roi wonders, his fingers locked together, his shoulders shaking at the thought of dying in this place. _Is this like what happened to Alex and everyone else?_

No. He's moved on. He _promised_ himself that he wouldn't think about that anymore!

_Positive. Stay positive. I'm gonna be okay. I'm a Daredevil. Danger's my middle name._

 

 _Really?_ Matt almost screams. _Of_ all _the times I could've been thrown into a game of life and death, it_ had _to be now? It_ had _to be when Steph and I have a baby on the way?_ "I came for _puzzles,_ man! I didn't come to, like, sacrifice my life!"

"I came for a _collab!"_ adds a very indignant Colleen.

"I haven't even _met_ these…" Matt notices Calliope's worried face, and he amends his statement somewhat. "Calliope is a great person. You're phenomenal, Calliope. Thank you so much. But, like, the _rest_ of these folks? Why should I care?"

Joey doesn't have an answer to that.

Matt can hear his terrified heart pounding in his ears as his brain pumps out a list of reasons why he shouldn't die. If he had known that coming here meant accepting a one-way ticket to the afterlife, he would've stayed home. But it's too late now. He's trapped in Everlock, far away from most of the people he loves, and there's a pretty good chance that he'll never see any of them again.

 _No._ His fists tighten against his sides. _No. I will_ not _die here. I gotta live. I_ can't _leave Steph and Ollie alone._

 

 _Would you guess anything different?_ thinks Joey bitterly. _My friends have to die in order to cleanse an artifact! Hm! Where have I seen that before?_ He's been through this too many times.

_Shane Dawson, poisoned. Andrea Brooks, gassed to death. Justine Ezarik—_

He tunes out the list. _I'll make things right,_ he assures the ghosts, but he's not sure if they believe him.

 

Colleen loves Joey, but right now, she wants nothing more than to give him a nice big roundhouse kick in the face. _Why_ did he bring them here? Did he know that this would happen? She'd like to think that he didn't, but...

_I have a family, Joey. You know that. You should've thought of them before you got me mixed up in your games._

They find two notes. Joey takes one, and Nikita takes the other. "Okay," says Joey. "I'll read mine first. Okay."

"Listen up," says Jc.

_The jack needs a pleasant song so he's not so angry all the time. The clowns have one you can use, but they've taken it to their disco party, where they're guarding it. Proper attire is behind the yellow couch._

As soon as she hears the words "disco party," Colleen's face bursts into a grin, and she temporarily forgets about the whole dying business. _There's a disco party, and Mama, I'm ready! I'm the Disco Dancer! I was_ born _to play this part!_

Nikita reads her note next.

_The spring on the jack has been corrupted with evil and must be replaced. The clowns have hidden it in a giant tent._

"Okay," says Manny. "The scary tent."

Nikita keeps reading.

_You have to rip the stuffing out to find it._

Joey swallows. "Okay. We only have till sunrise, so let's split up. Who wants to go with me to the disco party?"

Colleen joins him in record time. So do Jc, Teala, and Nikita. The other five YouTubers—Matt, Safiya, Roi, Rosanna, and Manny—agree to go to the tent and find the spring.

As the disco group heads for the yellow couch, Colleen takes a deep breath, fluffs her coat, and prepares herself for whatever lies ahead. _Maybe,_ she thinks, but the thought dies in her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Half of the group attends a disco party. Also, Colleen lives up to her role, Nikita does drugs, and Jc proves himself.


	12. Ain't No Party Like a Disco Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey, Colleen, Jc, Teala, and Nikita go undercover as clowns. It's a disco party! Cue the funky 70s music!

Joey's group retrieves their disguises, which are red clown noses and white gloves. _Honestly,_ thinks Joey, rolling his eyes, _if these clowns_ actually _fall for it and let us into the disco, they're idiots._

Well, whatever. "Quick." He hands out the disguises. "Everyone put on red noses and gloves."

"Hey, wait," says Mortimer. "Real quick. Just in case you need to...ah...get something from somebody, this is a strong sedative." He shows them a small orange bottle. "It'll knock somebody out in a couple minutes, all right?"

"Should I use it?" asks Nikita.

Joey frowns. "On _yourself?"_ He loves Nikita, but boy, that girl confuses him sometimes.

 

"No, I'm saying, like, if I have to use it on someone," Nikita clarifies. "I feel like I could do it." She's still in shock from the "people will die" reveal, but she figures that the best way to keep herself alive is to step up to the plate and prove her worth. _Yes! Pick me! I will druggeth thee!_

"Okay." Joey hands her the bottle. It feels chilly through her gloves. She shivers, and she realizes that she's never actually drugged anyone before. Oh, well. There's a first time for everything.

Nikita, Joey, Jc, Colleen, and Teala walk towards the entrance to the disco party, all decked out in their gloves and clown noses. "You guys got this," Mortimer calls after them, and Nikita tries not to blush.

"Hey!" shouts Joey in a voice that would make any smart person suspicious of him. "Just a couple of clowns! No big deal!"

Colleen is _much_ better at acting innocent. "Is this the disco?"

"We came here to party!" adds Teala.

The clown bouncer takes one look at them and lets them through the gate. Nikita struts into the disco like a queen, her hands on her hips, confidence exuding from every pore of her body. She came to Everlock to party and kick ass, and now's the perfect opportunity to do both at the same time, so let the partying and ass-kicking begin!

 

The clowns dance on roller skates, funky music plays at top volume, disco balls glimmer from the ceiling, and everyone's having a good time. Especially Colleen. She's in her element! She _loves_ a good disco party!

One of the clowns does the splits on the dance floor. "Oh!" gasps Joey. "Fabulous!"

"Oh, hey, girl!" says Colleen to a clown. "Omigod, look at you guys!"

"These are cute clowns!" Joey remarks.

Even Jc is into it. "How's it going?"

Looking at the clowns, Colleen almost forgets that they're a bunch of murderous psychopaths who tried to murder her and all her friends. They're so cute! Their dance moves make them look downright adorable!

She sways to the beat, channeling her inner Disco Dancer, but at the same time, she keeps an eye out for clues. "Hey, DJ!" she greets the clown who's spinning the tunes. "Love this jam! Just checking! Looking around!"

_Can't we skip the whole death thing and just enjoy ourselves instead?_

 

Joey sees a clown in a bright pink wig and a matching dress. She (he?) looks weirdly familiar, but he can't remember where he's seen her (him?) before.

His heart hurts. He wishes he knew why.

 

This party is nice and all, and Jc's having fun, but he doesn't want to forget what he came here to find. "Act natural," he tells Colleen, who is jamming to the groove. _The song's around here somewhere._

"It looks like they're guarding something important," comments Colleen.

That's when Jc sees it. "Uh, she has a briefcase." He points to one of the larger clowns, who has a briefcase locked to her wrist. The jack-in-the-box's song is probably in there. The clown also has a drink in her other hand, and since Nikita has a sedative, it's pretty obvious what they have to do. "So we need to put the sedative in a drink."

"Yeah," says Colleen. "It's gotta be in the briefcase."

Jc smiles. If he's right about the briefcase, then he won't have to be a clown for much longer.

 

The five little not-clowns skip their way over to the clown with the briefcase. "Hey, girl!" chirps Teala in a giggly voice. She lets her inner wild child come out to play, twerking against the side of the stage, shouting "ayyyyy" at the top of her lungs. The clown looks oddly interested, but Teala's too high on the party's crazy atmosphere to care. "Disco, disco," she murmurs as she dances.

Joey points to the drink in the clown's hand. "Hey, can I have a sip?"

"Sure," grunts the clown. She hands him the drink.

Joey beams at her. "Thank you so much!" He pretends to drink, but in reality, he's holding the bottle out to Nikita. "Delicious!"

Nikita slips the sedative into the bottle. It produces a strange-souding hiss, so Teala talks over it to prevent the clown from suspecting anything. "Delicious!" she gushes. "Thanks for sharing!"

"Thank you." The clown's voice is rough and husky. "I appreciate it."

"Yeah, thank you so much," says Joey.

The clown walks away. "I love your hair," Nikita calls after her.

Teala doesn't agree. She thinks that the clown's hair looks absolutely awful. But she wants to make a good impression, and she doesn't want to be killed, so she stays quiet.

 

The leader of the clowns approaches the group. "Where are you guys from, huh?"

"Um..." Colleen says the first thing that comes into her mind. "From Clownville!"

"Clown-O-Rama, actually," clarifies Joey.

 _Sure,_ thinks Colleen. _Let's go with that._ "Have you ever heard of it? It's like...across the river..."

"It's like downtown, across the river," says Teala.

Colleen nods. "Downtown. Yeah." She hopes that the clown doesn't press them for more details, because geography has never been her strong suit. _Maybe I should've gone into Miranda mode for this. She probably would've made a more believable clown._

Joey points at the big clown, who, much to Colleen's delight, is drinking from the drugged bottle. "Okay! She just took a sip! She just took a sip!"

Nikita and Colleen rush over to the clown, who's clearly already feeling the effects of the sedative. "You okay?" Colleen asks her.

"Wanna sit down?" questions Nikita, her tone laced with fake concern.

The clown wobbles in place. "I don't feel so good," she groans.

 _It's working!_ "Come sit down, honey!" says Colleen sweetly as they lead the clown away.

"Yeah!" Joey agrees. "Come sit down over here!"

"Are you okay? Come sit with us!" Teala is pretty much repeating everything that everyone else is saying. Colleen's starting to wonder about the Super Spy's usefulness. _Is she_ really _pulling her weight? Or is she just along for the ride?_

 

"I need some air," mumbles the clown, and so the group takes it upon themselves to walk her out of the party and make sure she's "okay." And by "okay," they, of course, mean "properly drugged." Jc's not usually the kind of guy who'd drug a girl into unconsciousness, but hey, he's not going to hurt her. He's just going to take her stuff. Specifically, her briefcase.

"All right, over here," slurs the clown. "It's over here."

"Yeah! Right there's perfect!" Joey says innocently, as if nothing's happening at all.

At this point, the clown can't even walk in a straight line. She wobbles her way forward a few more steps, collapses face first against a bunch of boxes, and lies still.

"Omigod!" exclaims Colleen. "Dramatic!"

Now that the clown's passed out on the ground, the group is free to examine her briefcase. "Okay, wait," says Nikita. "There's a code."

She's right. The briefcase requires a combination to open. Jc shakes his head. He should've known that the clowns weren't going to make this easy for them. Well, that's fine. The funny thing about codes is that there's always a way to figure them out.

He takes a good long look at the briefcase, and he sees arrows pointing to pink dots. Below that is a message.

_Watch the clowns dance from high to low._

"Oh! Watch the clowns dance from high to low!" Joey rattles off the message in an excited tone of voice, but as soon as he's done reading it, his face sours with confusion.

"What does that _mean?"_ Colleen wants to know.

Jc shrugs. _I'm sure it means_ something. _Might as well give the party another chance._

 

The group goes back into the disco to look around for things they weren't looking for before. "Hey, we're back to party!" announces Colleen, slipping into her Disco Dancer persona as easily as she slipped into her silk outfit earlier today. "Okay. So two."

"How's it going?" chortles Jc. No one answers him.

The clowns are dancing on platforms. There are four platforms overall, and each platform has a certain amount of pink polka dots on it. Colleen figures that the rest is just a matter of counting dots. She walks up to one of the platforms. "So, on this side of the block, there's two. And on the top! And on the top. Look."

"What does that _mean,_ though?" Joey asks.

"There's six numbers, okay?" Colleen pushes her hair away from her face. "So it goes—"

"Hey! What are you guys doing?"

 _Dammit._ It's the head clown. "We're dancing!" Colleen responds, reverting back into Dance Mode like someone's flipped a switch.

"No," snaps the head clown. "I don't think you are."

"Yeah, we are!" _Oh, no! We're screwed! Our cover's blown!_ In a desperate attempt to avoid death by psycho clown, Colleen climbs up onto the platform and breaks into a wild belly dance that basically consists of her showing off her body to all of the partygoers. Needless to say, it's not her best moment, but at least she and her friends aren't dead.

 

While Colleen struts her stuff, Nikita's in the moment, distracting three lady clowns at once. "Hey!" Her voice is almost flirtatious. Almost. "How are you?"

They pull her into their huddle. The head clown is looking directly at her exposed cleavage, and the other two rub against her in a way that's making her a bit uncomfortable. _I would_ never _do_ anything _like what these bitches are doing right now!_

Then again, she doesn't know a damn thing about that "high to low" stuff, so she might as well keep distracting these clowns while the others figure it out. Besides, if they try anything funny, she can always knee them in the crotch.

 

Now that they're out of danger, Jc turns his attention back to the math problem. "Do we just count them from high to low? But that would only leave us with four numbers." He holds up four gloved fingers to prove his point. "So how does that make sense?"

"From high to low..." mutters Colleen.

"Like, if we counted everything on _that_ box, everything on _that_ box, everything on _that_ box, and everything on _that_ box," continues Jc, pointing to each box as he mentions it, "that's four numbers."

"Maybe those...like...a number could have two digits in it," suggests Joey.

"Oh!" The gears start to turn in Jc's brain. "That's it." He points to a clown who's on top of one of the boxes. "He's standing on two dots, so there's four on top. That's four right there. That's eight. That's eleven. So the last two numbers are eleven. One-one." This is all a math equation. There are four platforms, all of which have separate dots on them, and two of the platforms must have two digits on them. He's figured out one of the platforms. He only has three more to go before he can open the briefcase, get the song, return to the lounge, and stop wearing this stupid clown nose. "Hey!" He claps his hands as he moves on to the next platform. "Let's go!"

In no time flat, they've solved all four platforms _and_ figured out the combination. Jc feels pretty good right now. Sure, they were a little stumped, but they pulled through in the end. Well, actually, not to toot his own horn, but he feels like _he_ pulled through. His future in Everlock looks bright.

 

Teala, Joey, Jc, Colleen, and Nikita leave the disco party. One thought bounces through Teala's mind like a pinball through a pinball machine: _Damn, Jc!_

"Jc, how did you figure that out?" is Colleen's first post-disco question.

Jc doesn't answer her. He's too busy repeating "four-ten-five-eleven" over and over.

"Yeah, Jc!" says Teala. "That was so hard!" She knows that _she_ wouldn't have been able to solve that problem with a gun to her head. What's Jc's secret? Why is everyone here so smart?

"How did you figure that out?" repeats Colleen. "What did you do?"

They reunite with Mortimer. "Guys!" Their assistant greets them with a smile. "I was worried!"

Jc finds the unconscious clown, briefcase and all, and begins to insert the combination into the lock. "So it's four-ten," Joey says.

"Five-eleven," finishes Teala, glad that she was able to remember _that_ much.

"Guys," mumbles Jc as he cracks the combination, "hopefully it works."

It works. The briefcase pops open. "Jc!" squeals Colleen.

They find a weird cylinder thing inside the briefcase. It's the weirdest-looking song that Teala has ever seen, but it's definitely the song. Now, they just have to get back to the arcade, put it in the music box, and hope that their other five friends are still alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: What the rest of the group gets up to while the disco party rages on. Also, Rosanna has some fun with balloons, and Manny makes a Suicide Squad reference.


	13. Helium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Manny, Matt, Rosanna, Safiya, and Roi take on an assortment of dolls and balloons. Hopefully, no one gets caught by the clown that's roaming the tent!

The "rip the stuffing out" clue comes in handy as soon as Matt, Rosanna, Manny, Roi, Safiya, and Calliope enter the tent. There's a table filled with stuffed animals. Matt's reminded of Blanche, and he feels bad when he realizes that he left her behind.

"All right," says Safiya. "Let's rip them open."

So they start destroying innocent stuffed animals. Manny flashes a cheesy grin while posing with a yellow bear, and Matt gets into a tug-of-war with Roi over a sheep. Rosanna, however, grimaces as she sets to her task. "I'm sorry, dolly," she whimpers.

Matt shakes his head and smiles. _Ro's too sweet for this._

Eventually, after several animals have tragically lost their lives, Matt finds something. "Guys, I have a silver dollar."

"Oh, I got a coin, too," says Rosanna.

"You have a coin, too?"

"Yeah," she replies. "I got a coin."

Manny holds out his hand. "I have a coin, too, guys!"

"Come on!" whispers Calliope. "You can do it!"

No sooner has Manny said "I got it!" when a clown's high-pitched laughter echoes through the tent. Everyone ducks into hiding. Matt curls himself up to be as small as possible, praying to God that they aren't found and subsequently murdered.

 

Once he's safely in his hiding place, Roi peeks at the clown who just entered the tent. She's fat, and she wears a frilly tutu, and she carries a baseball bat with spikes on it, and she looks as if she wants to murder everyone in town.

"I just wanna _bash_ a _head_ in!" she shrieks, whacking her bat against one of the benches. She laughs.

Roi's constant mental chant of _brave, be brave, I'm brave_ isn't doing much to stop the terror that's creeping through his body. If he's being honest with himself, he doesn't feel brave at all. He's scared. _Very_ scared. He doesn't want anyone to die. He doesn't want this crazy clown to smash their heads open. He just wants her to go away and leave them alone.

The clown patrols the tent. "Where are you, you little shits?"

_We're not here! We're somewhere far away, where you'll never find us!_

 

 _This bitch is literally Harley Quinn on crack,_ is Manny's opinion of this clown. He loves _Suicide Squad,_ but he _doesn't_ love being hunted by Harley's knockoff, so he's just going to stay hidden until she gets the hell out of the tent.

"Come out, you sons of bitches!" she screams at the top of her lungs. "Dammit!" She slams her bat into the ground a few times. "I'm coming to find ya! Mama's coming!" After one last creepy laugh, she leaves.

Everyone comes out of hiding. They keep ripping apart stuffed animals until they've found a fourth quarter. Manny spots a box with four coin slots. "This is it." He holds his coin over one of the slots. "Put your coin in," he tells the other YouTubers, and they position all four quarters over the four slots.

"Okay," breathes Rosanna. "Ready?"

"I don't see any clowns," says Matt.

"One. Two. Drop!"

They drop the coins into the slots. The box opens, prompting gasps from everyone and an "Oh, what!" from Roi. Inside the box are a bunch of empty balloons, a comic strip, and a note, which Manny reads.

_Find Zero-G Man and solve his dilemma._

Manny grabs the comic strip. _First Harley Quinn and now this,_ he thinks as he glances over its panels. It looks like Zero-G Man, a superhero that Manny has never heard of before tonight, is sad because he lost his ability to fly. "Guys!" The realization hits Manny like a shot. "Omigod! We need to blow this up and make Zero Man fly!"

 

So they have to make a superhero fly. Matt shrugs and mutters something about physics, and Roi's face lights up, but Safiya thinks that this is a silly task. How are their balloons supposed to make _anyone_ fly? It doesn't make sense.

 _It'll make sense soon,_ she tells herself. _Everything always has an explanation._

First things first. They look around the tent for Zero-G Man, but there are no superheroes anywhere. Safiya goes back to the comic and gives it another look.

_"I can't be here! I can't fly!"_

_"Mayday! Mayday! We're going down! Please call Zero-G Man! Zero-G Man!"_

Manny shouts "Zero-G Man! Zero-G Man!" into the silent air, but nothing happens. "Is it open?" Manny frowns. "It said 'please call Zero-G Man!'"

"Do we have to do it all together?" Rosanna asks.

Matt gathers them into a cluster. "Let's do it all together."

Safiya checks the comic, and she notices that the character said "Zero-G Man" six times. "Six times," she informs the group.

"Six times," Rosanna repeats.

After Matt counts them off, they chant "Zero-G Man" six times in a row. This time, a box pops open. "Oh! There it is!" exclaims Matt.

Roi is the first to reach the box. He retrieves an action figure that can only be Zero-G Man, and Safiya feels dumb for even _considering_ the possibility that he was an actual person.

"Wait, guys," says Matt. "We gotta divide and conquer." He gestures to Manny and Rosanna. "You guys fill up the helium balloons. There's helium tanks right there."

Safiya likes Matt. She can tell that he's going to be a great asset to this team, and she's looking forward to working with him.

 

When Rosanna learns that she needs to fill up the balloons, she thinks _Great!_ She's had lots of experience planning parties. She's operated a helium tank. She knows how it works. _This is gonna be easy._

She and Manny fill up their first balloon. The tank makes a loud noise as helium rushes into the balloon. "Omigod, that is so loud!" Matt complains.

He _does_ have a point. There's still a clown out looking for them. Maybe Rosanna should be a little quieter.

Manny ties the balloon to Zero-G Man, while Rosanna gets to work on another one. Sadly, just when she thinks it's done, it pops. She screams. So does everyone else.

"Oh, God!" Matt cries out. "Hide!"

They all run back into hiding. Rosanna feels awful for popping the balloon, and she hopes that she didn't just doom one of her friends to a violent fate.

"Come out and play, little chickadees," says the fat clown in a singsong voice as she reenters the tent. "Knock, knock!" She taps her bat against the stage. Rosanna's heart is pounding so loudly that she thinks it can be heard from 2018.

 

Discount Harley Quinn is back, and she's _pissed._ "Hello!" she bellows to the quiet tent. "Come out and _play!"_

She walks up to Manny's hideout.

 _Bitch!_ Manny can't take his horrified eyes off of the spikes on Harley's baseball bat. _I'm boned! I'm done! I'm dead!_ He tries to protect himself by crawling around to the other side of the box, where she can't see him. _I'm literally about to get screwed here!_

He's beginning to wonder who should get his makeup collection when Harley shrugs, laughs, and gives up the search. "I'm just gonna go tell her they're not here!" she decides. "They're not here." She giggles to herself as she departs the tent.

"Okay," whispers Calliope, who's next to Manny. "Coast is clear."

Yes. They're alone again. Manny can breathe...for now.

 

Several popped balloons, screams, and loud helium tank noises later, they finally fill up enough balloons to get Zero-G Man to fly. Manny ties the last balloon to the little action figure, while Roi and Matt whisper-chant an encouraging song that they made up themselves.

 _"Zero-G!_  
_Zero-G!_  
_Zero-G!_  
_Zero-G! (Let's go!)_  
_Zero-G! (Come on!)_  
_Zero-G! (Come on!)_  
_Zero-G!"_

Roi beams at his friends. Their mission to make Zero-G Man fly feels like a collaborative effort, and Roi _loves_ it! They're _helping_ someone! Sure, it's an action figure, and it isn't even sentient, but who knows? Maybe the _real_ Zero-G Man is out there somewhere, and maybe, once they make the action figure fly, the _real_ one will be able to fly as well! Wouldn't that be awesome?

Matt lifts Zero-G Man off the ground and prepares him for his first flight. "Ready?"

"Let's try it," says Manny. "Let's see."

So Matt lets Zero-G Man go, and the superhero flies at last. Cheers of "Yes!" and "Zero-G Man!" pepper the the air.

Pride fills Roi's heart. _Fly, Zero-G Man! Fly away! Go save those people! I believe in you!_

 

Zero-G Man is more into hovering than soaring gracefully, and Matt has to blow on him to keep him in the air, but it'll do. _As long as he flies,_ thinks Matt as he ducks to avoid being bopped on the nose by the small hero. _That's the important part. He has to fly._

Another box opens up. Cue multiple shouts of "Oh!" and "Omigod!" from the group. Inside the box is a note and, thankfully, the spring they need. Everyone starts talking at once, but they quiet down so that Safiya can read the note.

_The artifact requires one more piece to be replaced—_

"Here's Sally!"

Matt's not in the mood for a reference to _The Shining_ at this time. "Go!" he yells, and the five YouTubers run for the exit.

"Having a party without me?" chuckles Sally the clown.

They flee the tent. Roi waves the others on ahead of him, then checks to make sure that everyone else is outside before following them to the arcade. As for Matt, he bolts out of there, going as fast as possible, hoping that the other group has found the song without any casualties.

 

Safiya stumbles into the lounge, her four friends in tow, and she's relieved to see that Joey, Jc, Nikita, Teala, and Colleen are waiting for them. She shows the spring to them, causing a victorious shout of "You got it!" from Colleen.

"You guys got it?" Manny asks, and Joey responds by holding up the song. "Omigod!" gasps Manny. "You guys got it, too!"

The reunited group puts the song and the spring into the jack-in-the-box where they belong. With that done, Safiya displays their _other_ prize. "We found this note." She reads it aloud.

_The artifact requires one more piece to be replaced to be fully restored: a new jack. Two must be selected by vote to undertake a deadly challenge to recover it. Choose wisely. One of you will not make it out alive. For this unique trial, the two selected must choose a partner to fight for them._

So it's true. Someone has to die. _Why did Joey bring us here?_ Safiya wonders. _Is he on our side? Or is he just trying to kill us?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The first voting session of the novel! Time to find out who could die at the hands of the clowns! Also, Matt screws up, Jc tries to stay chill, Manny is saddened by a smile, and Joey is used to this.


	14. A Series of Questionable Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As is Escape the Night tradition, two guests must be chosen to take on a deadly challenge. They must each choose a partner to help them. Who will be chosen, and who will they choose?

"So basically," says Matt, "this whole 'save the town' thing is a big suicide mission that _you_ brought..." He points at Joey, and his voice falters with anxious disbelief. "Why? Why us?"

 _To make things right,_ Joey wants to say, but what he says instead is "Me? You guys came here knowing _exactly_ what you guys were getting yourselves into!" He remembers writing "dangerous" on the invitations, as if that mini-warning would be enough to absolve him of all responsibility.

The group breaks into a choir of denials and protests, but Matt's blunt tones are louder than anything that anyone else has to say. "There's a difference between adventure and certain death! What do you know about this Carnival Master?"

"We were coming to save the town of Everlock. I didn't know what that required, or that you guys were going to..." Joey trails off, unable to complete his falsehood.

Colleen finishes it for him. "Die?"

"So if the fighter loses," says Roi, "then the person who..."

"...chose that fighter..." continues Manny.

Roi nods. "They die."

"That's a lot of pressure!" exclaims Nikita.

Teala's mouth turns downwards into a frown. "That's _so_ much pressure!"

"Wow," mutters Matt, clearly unable to process what's happening.

"So how are we supposed to do this?" Colleen asks.

 _I'm sorry,_ thinks Joey. He stares at the floor. "I think we're gonna have to—"

"Let's say this," suggests Jc. "Are there any volunteers?"

Silence.

 _"Bitch,"_ says Colleen, and that's the end of _that_ conversation.

For the third time, ten YouTubers huddle into groups, trying to figure out who should die. Joey's heart is a stormy mess of guilt. This is all his fault. If it wasn't for his selfish choice, all nine of these people would be at home, running their YouTube channels, living their lives without him. Heck, if it wasn't for him, fifteen other YouTubers (and one vampire) would still be alive and well.

He, Joey Graceffa, is the worst person in the world.

 

Nikita's face-to-face with Joey. She wants to ask him what the hell he was thinking, risking her life for a stupid-ass town, but she should probably focus on saving herself. _When I get out of here,_ she seethes, _he's in for it._

"All right," whispers Joey. "So who has been, like, not, like, contributing a lot?"

 _Hmmmm...._ Nikita runs through the guest list in her head. _Colleen? No. Safiya? No. Manny?_ Hell _no. Jc?_ "Honestly, I would, before this, say Jc, but I think he proved himself in this round." _Matt? No. Teala? Maybe..._

What, exactly, has Teala Dunn done?

 

Staying calm is hard when death is a glaring possibility, but Jc thinks he can manage it. He's safe. They wouldn't vote for him. Not after the pivotal role he played in the last challenge.

He locks eyes with Matthew "MatPat" Patrick from across the room. They grin at each other. Matt does the "I'm watching you" thing with his hands, and Jc laughs, and it's like they're not about to kill someone. _Where's that pony I won for him?_ Jc wonders idly. _He probably dropped it. Oh, well. There was a lot going on, so it's understandable._

Anyway, who ought to die? That's a tough decision, so he has a _lot_ of thinking to do.

 

If Colleen's going to survive, she needs allies. She chooses Jc, who's proven himself to be one of the strongest players so far, and Roi, her little buddy from the RV. "Guys," she tells them, "I think we should vote for Teala."

"Teala?" Roi raises an eyebrow. "Why? What did she do?"

Colleen shrugs. "She didn't do anything. That's the problem. She's not pulling her weight." Teala's a sweetie, and Colleen knows that she's trying really hard, but trying isn't going to cut it around here. The weakest must go.

_Sorry, girl._

 

It's Matt who breaks Teala's heart with words that she hoped not to hear. "So you know," he says, "I've heard your name tossed around."

Teala's throat tightens with fear and betrayal. _Me? People are voting for me? Does that mean they want me dead?_ Yeah, she could've done a _little_ bit more to help at the disco party, but she didn't do anything to slow the team down! She _certainly_ doesn't deserve to be killed by clowns because of it!

 _Calm down,_ she orders her heart. _They're only_ considering _it. No one's_ actually _voted for you yet. You still have a chance._ But despite her mental reassurance, the others are still whispering, and the beautiful lounge feels darker and uglier than it did ten minutes ago.

Once, a long, long time ago, two of her best friends went missing. One came back. One didn't. They said it was murder.

Teala never thought that she'd be next to disappear.

 

"It is now time to vote," announces Calliope, who stands in front of them with a table full of cards. "Grab the ticket with the face of the person that you would like to enter into the challenge. I will shuffle, and then draw two."

Joey's only half-listening. He knows this song and dance by heart. He's done it twice before, after all.

"Joey, you may go first."

There was a time when voting his friends to their deaths was a hard, heartbreaking, terrible task. He's past that now. He selects a Super Spy card and hands it to Calliope without thinking twice.

 

Calliope _just so happens_ to have cards with all of their names on them, in the event that they need to vote each other to die. _How convenient!_ Matt snarks to himself as he goes up to vote.

A sea of faces lie against the table. Matt bites his lip. He's new at this, and the last thing he wants is to screw up and kill the wrong person, so he'd better consider all his options before he casts his vote.

 _I'm not voting for anyone in my group. They all pulled their weight. People mentioned Teala, but...I can't do that to her. She's too nice._ He starts to sweat. _Not Colleen. Not Joey. Oh, this is so stressful. Maybe I should've talked to the disco group a bit more. I don't know._

In the end, he picks Jc, simply because the curly-haired Hippie doesn't seem like the type to be anything other than "chill." Besides, Matt doesn't know him too well.

_I hate this game already._

 

Nikita's up to bat. She struts her way to the voting table, confident in her decision. Teala didn't do a damn thing, so if _someone_ has to die, it should be her.

Also, Nikita's jealous of her outfit.

 

Teala. Jc. Then, Safiya. The Investigative Reporter tucks her hair behind her ears as she approaches the table. _I hope no one picks me,_ she frets. _I've been helpful. I think._

She casts her vote for Roi. He's a sweet guy, but he hasn't really been solving much. Sure, the disco group apparently had problems with Teala, but Safiya wasn't in that group, so there's no way for her to know how well Teala really did. It's better to trust her own observations.

 

Colleen, who's after Safiya, grabs a card without batting an eye, but poor little Rosanna shakes like a leaf as she votes. Manny barely has time to feel sorry for her before it's his turn. _Damn,_ he notices, _they've already run out of Teala cards! How unhelpful_ was _that girl?_

There are still nine pairs of empty eyes staring at him. Including his own. Well, at least his card looks nice. He can't say the same about Matt's, which is a shame, but he's not here to be an art critic. He's here to vote.

_Roi, I love you. You're amazing. But I really don't even remember what you did._

The last Daredevil card is smiling innocently at Manny, as if they're friends, and it breaks his heart. He passes it to Calliope as quickly as possible, then retreats to the safety of the couch.

 

Roi's the last to vote. He notices that Teala's stack of cards has run out. Then, he realizes with a jolt that his _own_ stack is also empty.

_Oh, no! Oh, no! Who voted for me? Did I not do enough?_

He panics, and he picks Rosanna. _I'm sorry, Ro!_ His stomach hurts as he walks back to his seat. _If we both survive this, I'll make it up to you!_

 

"I will now shuffle, and then draw two," says Calliope matter-of-factly.

Everyone spontaneously remembers that this could be the end, and a gaggle of nervous chatter fills the room as Calliope shuffles the cards. Jc's not gonna lie; he's just as scared as everyone else. But it's okay. It won't be him. It _can't_ be him. Can it?

Calliope draws a card and shows it to the group.

"The Hippie."

Jc freezes. He feels like he's been punched in the gut. _I'm the Hippie,_ is all his scrambled mind is able to think. _I am. Me. Jc Caylen. The Hippie. They picked me._

 _"What?!?"_ gasps half the group at once.

"Who voted you?" Roi asks Jc, as if Jc would know.

"Who voted for..." Teala looks as if someone just told her that two plus two doesn't equal four. "What? Are you _kidding_ me? I'm _shook_ right now!"

Manny shakes his head. "No. I'm gagged. I'm a bald Jane."

"Who voted for you?" murmurs Colleen.

Jc wears his calm smile like a mask. He thought everyone had his back. He thought he was safe. He thought he pulled his weight. But apparently, someone in this room doesn't think so, and now, he's being sent into the clowns' deadly challenge. He doesn't know what the clowns have planned for him if he loses, but since they're killer clowns and all, it's probably nothing good.

It's fine. He's still got this. He's not going to die. At least, he _hopes_ he's not going to die. If he dies, the Kian and Jc channel will become Just Kian, and that sucks to think about.

_Time to get myself a partner._

 

Teala can't _believe_ that Jc Caylen, of all people, is going into the challenge. He was the MVP of their group! If _he_ isn't safe from possible death, what hope is there for _her?_

Once everyone's done being shook, Calliope picks a second card.

"The Super Spy."

Teala's heart sinks. _So Matt was right. They really do want me gone._ These people are supposed to be her friends! How could they do this to her? Don't they know that...oh, who is she kidding? They know. They just don't care.

"Omigod," breathes Manny, but he's the only one who expresses shock at Teala's selection. She doesn't get the mass disbelief that Jc got. Of course she doesn't. She's not Jc. She's not a valuable player. She's not someone that anyone would miss.

She takes a deep breath, chokes back her tears, and prays.

 

So Jc's opponent is Teala, the girl he voted for. Funny how that works.

"Please select a partner to fight for you," says Calliope, "starting with the person who was chosen first."

Jc's one step ahead of her. He's been mulling over his partner choices since his card was drawn. Some people are obvious nos, such as Roi, and several more (Safiya, Colleen, even Nikita) are maybes, but there's one among them who's definitely a powerhouse all around. If Jc wants to live, he needs to pick the best.

"Matt." He shrugs at the Detective. "What's your attributes, man?"

Matt grimaces and flashes his badge. Jc can tell that he's on edge, but it's probably just nerves. After all, if Matt's smart enough to figure out the hidden storylines of Five Nights at Freddy's, _surely_ he's smart enough to save Jc from the clowns.

 

This is the biggest, most mind-blowing, most ironic situation ever. Matt _voted_ for Jc! _He's_ the reason why Jc's in this position to begin with! And now, _he's_ the one who has to defend his life? Talk about karma!

He stands up, plasters on a smile, and shakes Jc's hand. _Well,_ he thinks, _judging by everyone's reactions when Calliope pulled his card, I think I made a mistake voting for him. If there's a bright side to this crazy mess of a partnership, it's this: at least I can make things right._

_I'll save you, Jc. I promise._

 

Well, Teala was _going_ to pick Matt, but that's not an option anymore. Who else is there?

"Um...well..." She remembers how calm and level-headed and _smart_ Safiya was earlier, and she makes her choice. "I choose Sophia." _Sure, she's not Matt, but she can beat him. Hopefully._

 

 _It's Safiya, not Sophia,_ Safiya almost says, but she decides to forgive the mispronunciation on Teala's part. It's not the first time that someone's messed up her name. Besides, she has more important things to deal with.

She stands up and walks over to where Matt is already standing. _Teala trusts me to save her, so I'll do my best to get the job done._

 

Matt, Safiya, Jc, and Teala prepare to leave the lounge. "Yo," jokes Jc, gesturing to Matt, "how fucked up would it be if he was the one that voted for me?"

Matt laughs, but on the inside, he's screaming.

 

Four YouTubers disappear through the door, and it occurs to Rosanna that if the note's right, one of them is _never_ coming back. She'll never see Jc or Teala again. This is goodbye forever.

She curls up into a little green ball and tries not to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: It's time for the first death challenge of the night! Will Matt save Jc, or will Safiya save Teala? Either way, someone is going to die.


	15. First Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Safiya and Matt battle it out in an effort to save Teala and Jc respectively. Who will come out on top? Whose life will be saved? Who will end up the first victim of this terrible night?

Safiya, Matt, Teala, Jc, Mortimer, and Calliope walk to the challenge like a small platoon of soldiers marching into battle. As they approach the tent, Teala's hand slips into Safiya's for a moment. Safiya squeezes it, lets go, and takes a deep breath. _I can do this,_ she tells herself, but a tiny sliver of doubt reminds her that she's facing MatPat. Does a beauty/style/weirdness YouTuber have a chance against the man who runs the smartest show in gaming?

_I have to do this. Teala trusts me. Besides, if I save her, the group will see me as valuable. I won't be in danger anymore._

She wears a stoic expression as she and her friends enter the tent, and she fights to maintain it while taking stock of her clown-infested surroundings. There are two tables in front of them, each with a clown standing behind it, as well as three more clowns (including the head clown and the fat one who hunted them in the tent) on the stage. Also on the stage is a pair of giant wonder wheels.

The path from where they're currently standing to the stage is paved with challenges. There are four of them, and they don't look that easy, but maybe Matt and Safiya are on a little bit more even footing than she thought they would be.

 

"I'm so jazzed you decided to show up!" laughs the head clown, who's carrying two knives in each hand. "I _love_ this goddamn game. Gets me all wet inside!"

"Omigod," says Teala to Safiya. _And I thought_ I _had a dirty mind. This clown gets_ off _on killing people!_ Her stomach does a flip-flop. _She's going to kill me, isn't she? If Sophia fails? She'll gut me like a fish, and she'll love every second of it._ Teala would rather not think about that.

"The first person through the four challenges wins," explains the head clown.

Jc nods. Teala wonders how the hell he's still so calm.

A clown grabs Teala and ushers her away, while another clown does the same to Jc. Panic invades Teala's mind. _I don't want to die now! I'm too young! I want to live! Sophia, please! Don't let them kill me!_

 

Jc and Teala are tied to the wonder wheels. _I guess I can cross "get tied to a wheel" off the bucket list,_ Jc's brain jokes, but really, what's the point in having a bucket list when he might be about to kick the bucket? He's spent his whole life enjoying the ride, but he's nowhere _near_ prepared for the ride to end.

 _I gotta trust Matt,_ he thinks as his wrists chafe against the rope. _Matt will save me. Matt won't let me down._

As if to reassure him, Matt shouts "Don't tie him too tight! He's coming with me!" and points at Jc with a look of steely determination on his face.

"Oh, look at that!" chuckles a clown. "Mr. Hero over there!"

Jc smiles at Matt. _I knew I picked a good partner._ "I like that, man. Thank you."

"He's very confident, isn't he?" growls another clown in a mocking tone of voice.

"Yeah!" Jc agrees, hope enveloping his heart.

Safiya points at Teala. She, too, seems committed to her task.

"Save me, please," whimpers Teala.

It's Mortimer who gets the challenge underway. "Begin."

 

Operation Save Jc Caylen From Being Murdered by Clowns kicks off with a simple guessing game. A clown hides a ball underneath one of three tiny cups on the table in front of Matt, then switches the cups around a few times, no doubt hoping that Matt will lose track. Over at her table, Safiya encounters the same challenge.

Well, if there's one thing that Matt prides himself on, it's his powers of observation. This challenge is his to lose!

Once the cups stop rotating, he picks one. Sure enough, it's the right cup, and Matt is free to move on to the second challenge. "Yes!" he exclaims as he runs. _Easy. No problem._

"Nice!" cheers Jc. "There we go!"

"Omigod, omigod, omigod," sobs a clearly frantic Teala.

The second challenge, however, is a _lot_ harder than the first. There are five hot dogs, and Matt has to eat all five of them, one at a time, without any water. Oh, and the hot dogs are vegan. This is going to suck.

"Chug 'em down," encourages Jc. "Add some ketchup if it gets dry."

The faith in his voice is all that Matt needs to hear in order to keep going.

 

Safiya tunes out Teala's cries of "Sophia! Sophia!" and tries to focus on the cups. Unfortunately, her first guess is wrong, so she gets a pie in the face. The clowns laugh. Her ears turn red with embarrassment.

Jc's still cheering for Matt. "Yes! Let's go! There you go! Yeah! Chew!"

"Come on, Sophia!" begs Teala. "You got this! You got this! You got this!"

Even though her face is now coated in what was once a pie, Safiya isn't ready to give up. _It's a minor setback. Matt's not that far ahead. I can still catch up and save Teala._ She sets her jaw. _Now, where on earth is that ball?_

Her second guess reveals the ball. "You win," says the clown who's overseeing the cups. Safiya heads straight for the second step: the hot dog eating challenge.

"Go, go, go, go!" squeals Teala. "Come on! Come on! Come on!"

"Five bites and swallow," Jc advises Matt.

Safiya gets to work on her first hot dog. She's done competitive eating in the past, so she's comfortable with this, but the hot dog, especially the bun, is very dry. _How can I make it so that the bun isn't so dry that I can't swallow anything?_

_Of course! The ketchup!_

She empties half the bottle of ketchup into her already-stuffed mouth.

"Yes, Sophia!" cheers Teala from the wheel. "Yes! Yes, Sophia! Yes!"

Safiya bristles. _It's Safiya!_ If she was a meaner person, she'd let Teala die for messing up her name so many times. Fortunately for Teala, she isn't.

The head clown appears to be amused by Safiya's ketchup antics. "I like her!"

"Me too!" says Teala, and Safiya's heart feels warm.

 

Teala was scared for her life at the beginning of this challenge. Now, she's still scared, but thanks to Safiya, the majority of her anxiety has been overrun with admiration. She is _so_ impressed by her partner. Safiya is taking this game to a whole new level.

 _I could live!_ She starts to believe it. _I might not die tonight!_

 

Jc observes the competition from his wheel. Matt has the upper hand at the moment, but Safiya's attacking the hot dogs with the ferocity of a hungry lion, and she's squirting what's left of the ketchup bottle down her throat. It's anyone's game.

"Hey, Doormat!" the fat clown taunts Matt. "Which hot dog are you on? Number one?"

Jc gulps. _He's struggling._ He wants to trust Matt, but he's starting to get nervous.

 

"Two, actually," Matt shoots back at the clown. He's making progress! He really is! It's just hard to get these hot dogs down. No matter how much ketchup he coats them with, they're still _so_ dry.

 _Don't think about it,_ his brain orders his stomach. _Think about how grateful Jc is going to be when you get him out of here._

His stomach isn't listening.

"Throw up!" chant the clowns. "Throw up! Throw up!"

Against his will, Matt obeys. He vomits the chewed-up remains of his hot dogs all over the floor of the tent. The clowns cheer. It's the most humiliating moment of Matt's life.

"Omigod!" yells Teala. "You're almost there! You're almost there!"

 _Safiya,_ thinks Matt. He looks up just in time to see that his dark-haired rival has finished her hot dogs. He's officially lost his lead.

He pulls himself to his feet and goes back to eating. _I voted for Jc,_ he remembers. _If he dies, it'll be like I killed him myself._ He grits his teeth. He's _not_ going to let the clowns butcher Jc because of his mistake.

 

"Yes!" Teala is shaking with excitement. "Omigod! Next challenge! Next challenge!" She's not scared anymore. She's confident. She trusts Safiya. Safiya's not only a genius, she's also a total badass. Of _course_ she's going to save Teala from these awful clowns.

_I'm so glad I picked her._

 

The third challenge is probably the most ridiculous one yet. Safiya must catapult a rubber chicken into a basket. Why? Because the clowns say so. They're clowns. Of _course_ they like to do silly things like this.

Safiya rolls her eyes and does what must be done.

"Stomp on it!" shouts Teala.

The chicken flies through the air, but lands just short of the basket.

"Oh, so close, Sophia! So close, Sophia!"

 _Argh!_ Safiya nearly strangles the chicken that she just picked up. _My name is_ not _Sophia!_

 

"Don't worry about her!" Jc's trying to stay calm, but it's getting harder by the second. "Keep chewing!" Matt's _still_ eating hot dogs. Jc could've eaten these dogs in his _sleep,_ but he can't, because he's stuck on his wheel while Matt fights to keep him alive.

_Matt...buddy...you're letting me down..._

But then, Matt finishes his last hot dog. "Whoo! Did it!" He moves on to the rubber chicken.

Jc's faith in his partner has been restored. "Let's go, Matt!"

 

 _Never again,_ decides Matt. _I will_ never _touch another hot dog again. Thanks, clowns, for ruining my next Fourth of July party. I hope you're happy!_

The head clown shows off her knives. Matt ignores her and picks up his rubber chicken.

"It's all physics!" points out Jc, and he's right. Matt has to line up the trajectory of his shot with the basket. It's easy. He can do this. He can—

Safiya's chicken lands in her basket.

 _No! No! I_ have _to get my lead back! I_ have _to save Jc! I_ have _to!_

 

Safiya faces her fourth and last challenge: a knock-'em-down challenge. She's not usually that good at this type of game, but she thinks that those carnival games she played earlier are actually helping right now.

"Yes, yes, yes!" screams Teala as Safiya knocks down bottle after bottle. "Go, go, go!"

Meanwhile, Jc is also screaming. "Faster, Matt! Let's go!"

 _I've almost got it._ Sweat mixes with pie crumbs on Safiya's face. _I've almost saved her. I've almost proven myself._

"Let's go, Matt." Jc's as encouraging as ever. "Come on, Matt! It's on the other side! Keep going! Let's go!"

Safiya knocks down the final bottle.

Almost instantly, all the happiness drains from Jc's voice. "No! No!"

A cabinet swings open. Inside the cabinet is a new jack for the jack-in-the-box. Safiya Nygaard begins her final task.

 

Jc's not feeling too hot right now. Why should he? It's _over._ Safiya _won._ After everything Jc did for the group, he's going to end up dead on a wonder wheel, and he's never going to see his family or Kian or anyone else in 2018 ever again. All because MatPat couldn't eat five hot dogs fast enough.

 _It's not fair._ He wants to somehow squirm out of the ropes that are holding him back, but he's frozen to the spot with fear. _This shouldn't be happening. I don't deserve to die._

"We have a winner!" announces the head clown as Safiya continues to wind up the jack. "And better yet, a loser!"

_No—wait—this is messed up—_

The head clown charges at him. Before he has a chance to scream for help, she rams her knives into the side of his body over and over and over and over again. Pain floods his system. He can see his own blood on his white shirt. _Dammit..._ He struggles to keep breathing. _Why'd it have to end like this?_

"Omigod!" shrieks Teala.

Jc's still alive. He's been stabbed, like, five times, but he can still feel his heart's last-ditch attempt at maintaining a steady pace. _Take life as it comes._ The thought pops into his suffering mind, almost as if it's meant to be there. _You never know...what might happen..._

The clown stabs him again. This time, it's fatal. The last thing he sees before death overwhelms him is Matt's shattered expression.

 

To Matt, it's like a nightmare in slow motion.

Jc Caylen—no, not him, his _corpse_ —slumps against the wheel. At the same time, Safiya opens the jack-in-the-box, takes out the jack, and replaces it with the new one from the cabinet. The clowns evaporate into black smoke.

Matt sinks to his knees. His tormented cry of _"No!"_ echoes throughout the quiet tent. _I've lost._ His eyes fix themselves to the bloody wound on Jc's chest, and he realizes that he, Matthew Patrick, was the one who _really_ put it there. _I failed him. He's dead because of me._

He doesn't know how long he has left. He could die in five minutes, he could die in three hours, or he could die in his bed at the age of eighty. But no matter what fate has in store for him, he knows in his bones that a curly-haired ghost with a calm smile will haunt him for the rest of his life.

 

Teala's sad for Jc, but it's a superficial kind of sadness, like the kind she feels whenever she watches a Try Not To Cry video. She's too emotionally exhausted to feel anything more than that.

_At least I'm alive._

"I did it!" Safiya takes a note from the cabinet. "Okay."

"Teala," sighs Matt sadly.

"Grab Teala," Safiya tells him.

Teala emphatically agrees with that idea. She's _tired_ of being tied to a wheel. Her wrists are getting sore! "Set me free!"

"Here's the jack-in-the-box," says Safiya, passing the jack-in-the-box to Mortimer.

"All right," Mortimer replies. "Hold the note."

Matt and Calliope untie Teala, much to her relief, and they all get out of there as fast as they can. Teala doesn't look back. She wants to forget that Jc ever existed, and she can't do that if she lets the image of his lifeless body stay in her brain. It's better to keep moving. It's better to let go.

 

The door to the lounge creaks open, and Colleen's ears perk up. _They're back._ Maybe that note lied to them. Maybe Jc and Teala are both still alive. Maybe this is all a stupid prank. _Please..._

Mortimer enters, carrying the jack-in-the-box. "Omigod, you got it," says Colleen, but the words are barely out of her mouth when she sees who's with Mortimer.

Safiya. Matt. Teala. Calliope.

Not Jc.

Everyone gasps. Several people say "omigod." Colleen rises to her feet, her mouth unhinged. _Where's Jc? He's not_ dead, _right? He can't be dead!_ "What happened?"

"Jc's..." murmurs Teala.

Safiya finishes her sentence in a flat voice. "Dead."

Teala stares at the floor. "They killed him." Her hands shake.

"Omigod!" is all Manny can say.

Colleen's eyes grow wide with shock. Thirty minutes ago, Jc Caylen was alive, solving math problems faster than Colleen could count to three. He was useful. He was amazing. He was one of the best players they had all night. But now, he's gone. Just like that. The group has killed their friend.

Calliope takes Jc's card, shows it to the survivors, and puts it into the ticket box. Nine cards remain on the table.

They all sit down. Matt buries his head in his hands; the Detective looks like he's about to cry. Colleen doesn't blame him. _This game is cruel,_ she thinks. _It doesn't even matter if you perform well. You could still be the one dead at the end of the hour._

 _Hell,_ I _might be the next to go._

She shivers at the thought.

 

Safiya stays expressionless. Jc's loss will stick with her forever, but for now, she shouldn't dwell on it. They still have a deadline, after all. "All right." She stands up and grabs the jack-in-the-box. "So this is our first of eight artifacts."

There are many white display cabinets on the wall of the lounge. Safiya puts the jack-in-the-box in one of the cabinets, then steps back and admires her handiwork. They've cleansed their first artifact, which is great, but she knows that they have seven left. That's a lot.

_Seven more of us are going to die._

She surveys her friends' faces, and she wonders who'll be next.

 _The note, Safiya. Don't forget._ "Uh, I also found a note with the jack." She reads it.

_Not everyone in town is telling the truth._

For a minute, no one speaks, but Colleen breaks the silence. "Well, what if it's one of us?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Jc. You were chill, you were smart, and you had potential, but _someone_ had to be the first to die.  
>  Next chapter: The group meets a woman in a dire situation. Also, Roi feels like a boss, and Nikita gets to practice her interrogation skills.


	16. A Stranger and a Snake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group is still trying to recover from the shock of Jc's untimely demise. But then, they learn about their next opponent: the terrifying Snake Woman, whose poison is enough to kill the strongest warrior alive. How on earth are nine traumatized YouTubers supposed to defeat her?

_"Your friends will need to die,"_ said the blonde woman at the church, and now, one of them has. _Jc Caylen, stabbed to death._ Another name on Joey's casualty list. Another reminder that he's a murderer. Another gallon of blood on his guilty hands.

To make matters worse, someone's on to him.

"So we don't have much to go off of," says Safiya, "besides _this."_ She displays the note. "So who do you guys think is lying?"

Joey gulps, then speaks. "Well, we only know two people. That's Calliope and Mortimer. So..." He's thankful that the helpers are here to be targets. If the group suspects _them,_ then they won't suspect _him._

But Colleen doesn't seem to be buying it. "How do we know _we_ can all be trusted? Maybe it's one of us."

_Colleen. No. You've been my friend since forever. Don't give up on me now._

 

Teala's survived the clowns' death challenge, thanks to Safiya, but the Super Spy _still_ doesn't feel safe. Someone voted her in. _Several_ someones, if Matt's to be believed. Even if Jc was one of them, the rest of them are still out there. What if they try and kill her again? What if they succeed?

"Teala, how are you feeling, coming back from that challenge?" Joey asks her.

"I agree with Colleen," she replies. "We obviously can't trust everybody. Somebody voted me in."

Nikita pipes up. "But do you think that it was rightfully so?"

Her question sets off alarm bells in Teala's frightened head. _Nikita's one of them._ The blonde has a nasty gleam in her brown eyes, and she's looking at Teala as if the dark-skinned girl is dirt beneath her heel. _She voted for me. She wants me gone. I'm in danger as long as she's alive._

Teala doesn't know who's lying, but at least she knows who not to trust.

 

Colleen's keeping her eye on Joey. As much as she loves him, she feels like he's hiding something from them. Plus, he invited them here, so, in a roundabout way, he bears some of the responsibility for Jc's death. If he hadn't dragged them into his mission, Jc would still be alive.

Calliope pulls the map down from the wall and lays it out flat on the table. There are new things on it. "Fat Man Slims is new on the map," says Safiya, pointing to where the pub has made its appearance. There's also a message, which Joey reads.

_Beware of snakes. The Serpent's Eyes lie in wait._

_Beware of snakes?_ Colleen shivers. _So there's gonna be snakes. First we have to deal with_ clowns, _and now we have to deal with_ snakes?!? _Go through my whole inventory of terrifying things, why don't you!_

Before they can decide what to do next, a new face peeks around the corner of the lounge. The face belongs to a woman. A stranger. A _Peeping Tom_ at their meeting.

"What?" exclaim three people simultaneously.

"What the..." gasps Teala.

The woman sees that she's been spotted and tries to back away.

"Get her!" orders Calliope. "Quick!"

The intruder takes off running, and the nine guests race after her. "Oh, bitch, you ain't going _nowhere,_ mama!" Manny shouts as they chase her around the pinball machine.

"Get her!" screams Colleen. "Get her!" _Oh, no, bitch!_ "Grab her!"

 

They chase the obvious secret agent out of the arcade and into the night. Roi's running as fast as he possibly can, blazing past Manny, closing in on the dangerous woman. _Sorry, but we can't let you leave! You were spying on us, and now, we have to make sure you don't go telling the bad guys all our secrets. That's just how it works!_

His speed works in his favor. Soon, he catches up to the spy, and he tackles her.

"Ah!" she screams. "No!" She thrashes in Roi's grasp. Mortimer comes over and helps him subdue her.

"Who _are_ you?" Joey demands to know.

They take her back to the arcade. Roi grins. This is the first time he's _ever_ captured and tackled a spy! He feels like a boss! Bruce Willis has _nothing_ on him!

 

"Tie her up!" hisses Calliope as the group forces the woman into a chair. "She cannot be trusted! Quick!"

Mortimer doesn't look comfortable with this plan. "Wait, _tie_ her? Seriously?"

 _Well, duh,_ thinks Nikita. Of _course_ they're going to capture her and tie her up. That's what any normal person would do!

Once the spy is tied to the chair, Nikita enters Interrogation Mode. She cuts off Matt's "don't worry" with a blunt, straightforward "Listen, honey! _What_ were you doing?"

"I'm looking for the same thing you're looking for!" insists the woman.

Nikita makes her voice as low and threatening as possible. "And what is _that?"_

"The Serpent's Eyes," their prisoner stammers.

Joey is the first to notice the two bite marks on her neck. "She was bit!"

 _Bit?_ Nikita scowls. _Bit by what? A snake? What kind of snake goes straight for the goddamn neck?_

"The Snake Woman bit me!" the woman explains. "She stole my husband!" She sounds like she's about to cry.

Teala's eyes widen. "She's a man-stealer, too?"

Nikita remembers that ugly-ass clown mentioning a "snake woman" in her little welcome-to-Everlock-prepare-to-die speech. At the time, Nikita thought she just meant, like, a woman who has snakes or some shit. But if _this_ chick is to be believed, there's a woman who _is_ a snake, somewhere in Everlock, who bites people and steals their husbands, and she's probably coming for them. Great! _Why_ did Nikita join this stupid mission, exactly?

_On the bright side, at least I don't have a husband for her to steal. Or a boyfriend, for that matter._

"Do you know anything about an artifact?" Joey asks.

"I don't know," sighs the woman. "Look for suits in the lounge. That's what I heard."

The phrase "Suits in the lounge?" echoes over the group as they try and puzzle out what it means. Nikita wonders if she's going to get a new outfit. That would be nice.

 

"Why don't you guys go on," says Calliope. "I'll stay here and watch her."

The guests head back to the lounge. "Stay tied up!" Manny orders the woman, as if she has any choice in the matter.

Once they're in the lounge, Safiya scans the area, trying to see if there's anything they haven't seen before. _Suits in the lounge._ Was the woman talking about _actual_ suits? She said it was only what she heard, so even _she_ probably doesn't know. There's most likely a deeper meaning that they must figure out.

"Oh!" yells Joey. "I found cards, guys!" He holds up a full deck. "Guys, I got a bunch of playing cards."

 _Of course._ It clicks for Safiya. _"Suits" must mean the suits in the deck of cards. Hearts...diamonds...spades...clubs...our clue lies within these symbols._

She finds one of the symbols in no time flat: the club symbol, on a dice tray. "I got the club!" she announces to the group. "I have the club."

"Okay," says Colleen. "There's more. There's more."

"Is that all we need?" Teala asks.

"No," says Colleen. "We need every single suit."

Teala nods, but she looks like a deer in headlights. Safiya is beginning to ponder if maybe there's some truth to what the disco group said about her.

 

In a perfect twist of fate, it's _Manny,_ of all people, who finds a bottle of perfume. "I found this!" _I guess you could stay I have a knack for discovering beautiful things._

"Oh," says Joey. "Some of them..."

"Have markings," finishes Safiya.

Joey shows off the playing cards. "I think it maybe all combines together. Here. Let's put it on the table."

He puts the cards on the table and flips them over. There are lines on parts of the cards. _A puzzle!_ They have to connect all the cards in order to create a symbol. Manny likes puzzles. They keep his mind off the snakes, the clowns, Jc, the spy, and everything else that's happened so far tonight.

They connect the cards. "It's an eight," Joey reveals.

Manny notices something. "Wait, what?" He wanders over to get a closer look, and he spots two dice that _definitely_ weren't there before. He picks them up.

"What did you find?" Matt asks him.

"I found dice," Manny replies, showing them to Matt, "but it has a club on it."

Matt shrugs. "Club? Bring it."

So Manny brings it over, but he's confused. "What does it have to do with dice?" he mutters, rolling the dice between his ring-covered fingers, racking his brain for an answer to this weird-ass bunch of clues. Then, he spots the open dice tray that Safiya found, and he thinks of something. "Maybe, like...I don't know..." He rolls the dice into the tray. The dice are drawn to the club at the center of the tray, and they both land on one. "Omigod! That was so weird. That was so weird."

"What happened?" asks Colleen.

"It magnetized," Manny explains. "When I put it down..." He does it again to demonstrate. Just like last time, the dice are attracted to the club, and just like last time, they both land on one. _Omigod! That_ has _to be something! That's a clue!_

"Okay, let's just leave it there," says Joey as Manny takes several deep breaths. "I feel like we're gonna have to do something with that."

"Hey, what about this perfume right here?" asks Mortimer, gesturing to the perfume that Manny found earlier.

"It has a diamond on it," notices Manny. Then, suddenly, everything makes sense. He gasps and grabs the perfume. "Omigod!"

Joey realizes it at the same time Manny does. "We have to spray!"

"Spray it on, bitch!" Manny rushes over to a mounted piece of paper with a diamond on it. Nikita's right on his heels.

"Spray it," says Joey. "It correlates."

Manny sprays the paper with perfume. Its secrets are revealed.

"That looks like a map!" Joey says. It is. It's a map of the room they're standing in right now, and there's an X, which can only mean a clue. Manny smirks. _I think we're getting somewhere._

 

Rosanna's still sad about Jc, but she's happy that they're making progress on the "suits in the lounge" clue. She thought that there were going to be evil FBI agents. Good thing _that's_ not the case.

"Oh!" gasps Teala softly. "It _is_ this room!"

"Isn't it right here?" asks Safiya.

Matt seems to be on top of things. "Okay, the couch is that rectangle in the middle. What else do we have? What other..."

But it's Colleen who finds what they're looking for. "Wait, you guys! Guys! Guys!" she shouts, pushing aside a cushion to reveal a secret panel in the floor. She opens the panel. Inside is a clock, and each of the hands is printed with a suit.

"Ooooh!" squeals Rosanna in an excited tone of voice. "Secret door." _This is actually really cool!_

 

"I think we have to arrange it in the correct way," says Joey. He points to the playing cards. "The eight correlates with that."

Matt flips the cards over. _They're all hearts. Of course. Eight equals heart._ He feels like a robot, processing information and deciphering clues without thinking very hard about what he's doing. His brain is too overwhelmed with grief and regret to care about anything except _this means that, these go there, here's the answer,_ must _keep finding things,_ must _keep solving things,_ don't _think about how Jc's dead and it's your fault it happened, just keep moving...keep fighting...stay alive..._

He picks up the dice. "The magnetized dice..." He rolls, and it's snake eyes. Again. One and a club. One equals club. Eight equals heart, and one equals club. He repositions the hands of the clock accordingly. "We're missing a spade."

"We're missing...well, it's the diamond, but there's the diamond on the map," Colleen points out.

Manny takes another look at the map. "It's a ten! It's a ten on it. Ten diamond."

 _Thank you, Manny. Ten equals diamond. One equals club. Eight equals heart._ "Is there anything else hidden?" _Spade equals...spade equals...Jc..._

 

Colleen's looking around for any clues that she can possibly find, and she notices that there's a tiny Statue of Liberty on a table near a potted plant. It's missing a hand. She knows that Statues of Liberty don't usually miss hands, so...

"Look at this," calls Safiya from the back of the lounge. She holds up a small green hand with a ring on it. "This is Lady Liberty's torch." She connects the hand to the rest of the Statue of Liberty. "It has a spade on it."

"A spade!" says Matt.

"What if you look through it or something?" suggests Manny. "Look through it! Is it pointing at anything?"

Colleen squints through the ring. She's not seeing anything.

Matt leaps across the room and points to a circle on a different tiny statue. "Does that circle line up with this circle at all?"

 _I dunno._ Colleen steps aside and lets Joey have a turn.

 

Joey's looking through the ring on the Statue of Liberty, and just as Matt said, it connects to a hole on the other side of the room. _I need to line my eye up, look through this hole, connect it to the other hole, and see what I can see._

There it is.

"Okay!" He points at a nearby poster. "What's on the pack? The blue! The blue line on it! Is there a number on there?"

His friends check. "Five!" Manny reports.

So spade equals five. Joey tosses his ascot proudly. He's blessed with 20/20 vision, so that was the _perfect_ challenge for him. At least he's good at _something._

The last hand is placed in its proper position. The trapdoor underneath the clock opens, and everyone screams.

"Omigod!" Colleen spots their prize. "There's _stones_ in here!"

Safiya takes out the stones, and Joey knows what they are as soon as he sees them: the Serpent's Eyes. They come with a note. Teala reads it.

_This is the second of the wicked artifacts. To cleanse the Serpent's Eyes, you must find the head of a great snake, place the eye inside, and bathe it in the blood of a serpent's heart._

Colleen sums it up for all of them. "So what we have to do is find this snake, place these inside his head, and bathe it in the blood of the serpent's heart."

They have their second artifact. Now, Joey's just waiting for that creature to appear.

 

All of a sudden, they hear screams coming from the arcade. Safiya droops. _Oh, no. I hope that's not what I think it is._

"What?" Manny runs towards the screams. "Omigod, what is going on?"

"What is happening?" Teala asks.

Nikita rolls her eyes. "Good God, who is dying _now?"_

They all sprint into the arcade, and they have their answer: the woman they captured ten minutes ago is currently in the process of being bitten in the neck by a green-scaled creature who _must_ be the Snake Woman. The poor captive screams horrifically as her life is taken from her.

Manny's hand flies to his mouth. "Omigod!"

The Snake Woman looks up from her victim and hisses at the incoming YouTubers. Then, before anyone can do anything, she runs away.

Safiya checks their prisoner. She's dead. The spy is dead. She was bitten before, and she was still alive, but apparently, the second bite was enough to murder her. _One bite poisons. Two bites kill. I should remember that._ "She just comes back and finishes the job."

It's a shame, really. This woman could've been a tremendous help to them. But what's dead is dead. Might as well check the body. She might have clues that will lead them to more information.

So that's what they do. "I've only seen this in movies," remarks Rosanna as they search the corpse. "They take off the shoes. Is this wrong?"

Safiya smiles despite herself.

"Wait! You guys! You guys! I found it! I found it! Matches! Matches!" Colleen has discovered a set of matches and a note.

_Meet me at seven-thirty. Cindy._

Nikita is quick on the uptake. "That was the friend she was going to meet."

Joey takes a closer look at the matches. "Fat Man Slims!" He shows the group the Fat Man Slims logo on the back of the matchbox.

Safiya tucks her hair behind her ears. They're about to find out what's at Fat Man Slims. Hopefully, there won't be any more trouble.

 

Roi just saw someone die, _again,_ and even if that woman _was_ a spy, she _definitely_ didn't deserve to be killed by a freakin' Snake Woman. Also, here's Calliope, knocked out on the floor. _If I'd been here, could I have saved them? Could I have saved Jc?_

The night's only just started, and he's _already_ sick of losing people.

Once they've awakened Calliope, the group leaves the arcade and sets off for Fat Man Slims. Roi spots the pub immediately. "Oh!" He points. "Fat Man Slims, guys." How could he forget it? After Mortimer's awesomeness? Maybe, once they're done with the whole snake thing, they can—

The Snake Woman materializes from around the corner. She hisses.

"Oh, my _shit!"_ screams Colleen, grabbing Roi's arm. He instinctively pushes her away from the danger. She runs, and Roi's about to follow her when the Snake Woman grabs him and sinks her fangs into his shoulder.

Roi cries out. Venom soaks through his skin and into his bloodstream, setting his shoulder on fire with pain. _She bit me!_ The Snake Woman drops him, and he falls to the ground in a heap, clutching his wound. _It hurts! It hurts so much! What did she do to me?!?_

"Did Guava get bit?" Colleen's anxious voice rings in his ears. "Guava got bit!"

"Roi!" screams Joey.

Calliope is the first to reach Roi. She helps him to his feet. "Are you okay?"

He shakes his head, too overcome with pain and shock to speak. _The Snake Woman bit that other lady, and she died,_ recalls the part of his mind that isn't preoccupied with his burning shoulder. _Does that...does that mean...?_

He doesn't want to think about what's happening to him. He just wants it to stop.

The group gathers around Roi. "What happened?" is Safiya's first question.

"You've been poisoned," says Calliope to Roi, "and in twenty minutes, it's gonna eat through your organs."

 _"What?"_ Roi turn pale. Daredevil or not, he's never been more scared in his _whole life_ than he is right now.

Calliope turns to the rest of the group, her hand still on Roi's back. "We have to create an antidote to save him!"

 

As soon as Matt hears the words "save him," he snaps out of autopilot. Roi Fabito might be hurt, but he's not dead yet. He still has a chance. Maybe, if Matt saves him, it'll make up for Jc. Maybe, this is the universe's way of giving him a second chance.

"I know there's a drugstore over there, right?" says Mortimer.

"Yeah," says Colleen.

"Maybe," Mortimer continues, "we should split up."

This prompts a bunch of "yeahs" and "okays."

Joey, as usual, takes command. "Who wants to come with me to Fat Man Slims, and who wants to go to the drugstore to make an antidote for Roi?"

"I'll go to the drugstore," Matt declares.

Rosanna stands beside him. "I'll come with you."

"Guava's my friend," says Colleen. "I'm with you guys."

So they split up. Matt, Colleen, and Rosanna set off for the drugstore, along with Mortimer. Joey takes Manny, Nikita, Safiya, and Teala with him to Fat Man Slims. Calliope leads a clearly suffering Roi back to the arcade.

As Matt makes his way to the drugstore, determination returns to him like an old friend. Yeah, he failed to save Jc, but he is _not_ making the same mistake twice. He's going to save Roi, or he's going to _die_ in the attempt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The group has twenty minutes to save Roi from a terrible fate. That's not even considering the _other_ stuff they have to get done! Also, Matt gets to be Bill Nye, and Teala finds someone who appreciates her.


	17. Poisoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roi's been bitten by the Snake Woman! While the rest of the group continues their usual quest, Matt, Colleen, and Rosanna go to the drugstore to create an antidote. Will they be able to save our little Daredevil? Or is this going to be Shane all over again?

It hurts to walk. It hurts to move. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

_Make it stop..._

"Lie on the couch over there," instructs Calliope as she helps Roi into the arcade. Roi complies. Calliope adjusts some cushions to make him more comfortable, then holds his clammy hand as he writhes in pain.

The Snake Woman's venom still seems to be contained to his shoulder, but it's spreading. He can tell. Agony muddles his mind. All he can think about is what's going to happen when the venom reaches his vital organs. "How long do I have now?" he whimpers, dreading the answer.

Calliope checks. "Eighteen minutes."

Roi groans. He _hates_ this, and not just because it hurts so much. He would give _anything_ to be with his friends right now. He wants to help. He wants to find clues, solve puzzles, and protect everyone. But he can't. All he can do is stare at the ceiling of the arcade, suffer through the torture of venom overwhelming his body, grip Calliope's hand, and wait to be rescued or die.

He feels hopeless.

"If I don't make it," he murmurs, "tell them I'm sorry."

 

"We gotta be quick," Mortimer reminds Colleen, Matt, and Rosanna as they enter the drugstore.

 _Well, of_ course _we gotta be quick!_ Colleen wants to scream. _Guava's dying!_ Her little RV buddy needs her help, and goddamn it, she's going to get that antidote to him if she has to pull it out of the Snake Woman's butt. _We already lost Jc. We can't lose Guava too!_

She walks into the drugstore. "Okay. Okay, there's no one in here, so we need to figure this out on our own." There are potions everywhere, jars full of pills, and various other drugs. Why is all of this being left unattended in an unlocked store? Oh, well. Good thing it is, or they wouldn't be able to save Roi.

"Here." Matt picks up a small book. _"Apothecary Field Guide."_ He flips through it. It doesn't take long for him to find what they need. "Anti-Venom Recipe!"

Colleen looks over his shoulder. Sure enough, the words _Anti-Venom Recipe_ are staring her in the face. "Omigod. _That_ was easy!"

"Okay!" says Rosanna.

Matt reads it to the girls.

_This is an old recipe for anti-venom that will stop even a cobra's bite. After the ingredients are gathered, they have to be combined in a centrifuge. If done correctly, the liquid will be yellow._

Below this is a list of ingredients.

Colleen sets her jaw. She has some drugs to find.

 

Five YouTubers walk into Fat Man Slims. It's a typical pub. Honestly, Manny could use a drink. Maybe later, once things are a little calmer, he'll take everyone here to grab some—

 _Manny!_ snaps a voice in his head that sounds like Nikita's. _Now is_ not _the time to be thinking about alcohol! You and all your friends are going to die by sunrise if you don't cleanse these artifacts, so get your shit together and start looking for a clue!_

He checks the time. "Oh, wait. It's almost seven-thirty."

"Meet Cindy at seven-thirty at Fat Man Slims," remembers Joey. "Manny, go check upstairs."

So Manny goes up the tiny set of stairs, only to be confronted with a creepy pair of eyes staring at him through a slot in the wall. "Omigod!" he screams.

"What?" his friends want to know.

"I see someone's eyes looking at me," he gulps, unable to take his _own_ eyes off of the frightening sight. _Does this bitch just, like, hang out in the wall twenty-four seven? Why is he here? Is he going to hurt us? We already have_ one _dead friend and_ one _dying friend. We don't need any more injuries in this group!_ Especially _injuries caused by weird guys in walls!_

"Stop!" exclaims Teala.

Manny's hands cup his mouth. "I swear to God."

The owner of the eyes speaks in a gruff voice. "You want the package? Well, you've got to give me the password." With that, he shuts the slot and disappears.

Cool. So they need to figure out a password to get into this situation. If what Nikita told him about the disco party is true, passwords seem to be a common theme in Everlock.

 

Joey is well acquainted with passwords. He's uncovered _thousands_ of them on his never-ending trek through despair, so he's not surprised that they have to find another one. After all, his life's long since devolved into passwords, puzzles, murder, and shame.

"I found a gold box!" trumpets Nikita.

They carry the box over to the nearest table. "I bet inside the box is going to be the password," Joey theorizes as he sets it down and takes a closer look. "There's a locked box, and it has three numbers. We're supposed to meet Cindy here at seven-thirty. Should we try seven-three-zero?"

"Seven-three-zero!" Nikita concurs.

"Omigod!" exclaims Manny. "Yes!"

Teala repeats the combination like a talking bird. "Seven-three-zero!"

Seven-three-zero works. Everyone cheers. Inside the box is a bunch of dollar bills. "Ooh!" Joey gasps. "Money!" The cash comes with a folder and a pink Post-It note.

_Use the photos to get the password._

Inside the folder are five photos that seem to have been taken in different parts of the bar, accompanied by the words _password phrase._ Safiya immediately figures it out. "Each photo represents a word," she says. "We need five words to complete the password."

"Do we need to recreate those moments?" Manny asks.

Safiya doesn't bat an eye. "I think that we should look in these places."

The search begins.

 

_Ingredient #1: A pinch of hem..._

Dangit. The rest of the word is blacked out. "Hem...something..." Matt squints at the book, but he can't make out anything underneath the heavy marker that _someone's_ used to mess with them. "So half of it is crossed out." Operation Roi is _already_ off to a rocky start.

The rest of the recipe is the same way. Colleen and Rosanna search the shelves, while Matt wonders if this, too, is the work of the Snake Woman. She probably doesn't want them to save her latest victim, so she screwed up the recipe on purpose. It makes sense. He doesn't know if it's true, but it makes sense.

"I found the hemp root," says Rosanna nervously. "Um."

"There might be more than one," Colleen points out.

Rosanna's next guess sounds more accurate. "Hemlock!"

"Hemlock seems like a good option," says Matt. He returns his attention to the vandalized book.

_Ingredient #2: One drop of snake something._

_Ingredient #3: One drop of something oil._

"Okay, what are the things again?" Colleen asks. "Because I have snake blood, and I have snake venom. I have rose oil, and I have tea tree oil."

Matt wants to bang his head against the nearest shelf. There are _multiple_ items that fit the criteria for each ingredient! They don't have time for this! "Grab whatever you see," he says. "Bring it over to this table."

_Ingredient #4: One petal from an evening flower._

_Ingredient #5: One pebble that causes water to bubble._

Well, at least _those_ ingredients are clear.

Colleen's rummaging through the shelves, muttering about bandages. Mortimer, meanwhile, has found something. "What's this?" asks Matt as he joins him. "What did you find?"

"I don't know," says Mortimer. 

It's a pamphlet, which Matt reads.

_A fun trick you can try to demonstrate hydrophobia is to add calcium carbonate to water. When the calcium carbonate touches water, the resulting process releases carbon dioxide._

"Which means it's gonna bubble," Matt informs the others. "We need calcium carbonate, which is...it's a stomach antacid."

Colleen's still going through the shelves. "Chloride..."

"Whatever it is, you guys gotta find it," frets Mortimer.

"We're working on it, honey!" Colleen shoots back.

Mortimer keeps talking. "And mix them together, all right? Roi doesn't have time!"

 _I know, Mortimer._ Matt thinks of Jc, scowls, and keeps looking. _I know._

 

Roi's trapped in a maze of torment. The venom has gone beyond his shoulder, trickling into his arm and the upper half of his chest. "How much longer?" he moans through gritted teeth, and what he means is, _how much longer until it doesn't hurt anymore?_

"Nine minutes," says Calliope gently. "Try to stay awake."

 _Yeah. As if I could_ possibly _sleep through this._

He thinks of his friends. They all must be working themselves to death out there. He should be helping them, but instead, he's just another problem for them to solve. All because he was _stupid_ enough to get himself bit.

Calliope begins to sing a song in a long-forgotten language, presumably so that Roi can focus on something other than the pain. It's a soft yet exciting melody. Roi listens, almost hypnotized, as every note occupies a second of his fading life.

 

"Is this poster somewhere?" asks Safiya, displaying one of the photos to the group. They must look for clues in the parts of the bar that are pictured, and since this particular photo has a poster in the background, Safiya's pretty sure that they need to find said poster.

Teala springs to her feet. "We need to find that poster!"

"Yeah," says Joey. "Let's look."

So they look. "Wait, what does it look like?" questions Manny. "Is this it?" He points to a small poster.

Safiya takes a look. As it turns out, Manny's right. The poster is _identical_ to the one from the photograph. "Yep, that's it." There's a word on it, which is just what they need. "It says 'grass.'" _That's the first part of the five-part password. Grass._

The next photograph is obviously from the adjacent room, where men throw money at a stripper on a pole. Nikita, ever the Troublemaker, is already in that room. "You guys, are you _sure_ we shouldn't just recreate it?"

She has a point. They haven't tried reenacting the photos yet.

"Yeah!" Joey agrees. "Let's just do it!"

"Let's try it!" says Manny.

Joey grabs some dollar bills. "I'll be the man with the money."

Safiya shrugs. If it'll get the job done, she's all for it. "Let's just try and do it as quickly as possible." Of course, this means that _someone_ has to be the stripper, and Safiya has a _pretty_ good idea of who that someone will be.

 

Yes! Finally, something that Nikita can do! She's the Troublemaker! This is _her_ moment to shine!

She grabs the pole. She's not willing to strip for these people, _especially_ since she _still_ doesn't know most of them, but she's sure as hell willing to bust a few moves. She twirls around and around and around. _Look at me! Look at how useful I am! You guys wouldn't want to kill someone who can do_ this, _would you?_

Everyone appears to be enjoying the show, but no one's enjoying it more than Joey. "That's what I like to see, Nikita!" He fans her with a stack of hundred-dollar bills. "Yes!"

"Yes!" echoes Teala.

"Work!" cheers Manny, grinning proudly at her.

Nikita's pole dancing session is rudely interrupted by the Snake Woman barging into the bar. Everyone gasps. They hide in the pole dancing room, making themselves as small as possible so that the Snake Woman won't spot them. Nikita's squashed into the corner. _Dammit!_ she fumes. _Just when I was starting to have fun! If that snake bitch attacks me, I swear to God..._

 

The Snake Woman patrols Fat Man Slims, and Teala's terrified. She _saw_ what that creature did to Roi. She _knows_ the risks. She doesn't want anyone else to be hurt.

Fortunately for them, there's another way out of the pole dancing room: a door that leads outside. Manny quietly pulls it open. The group makes their escape, but as they circle around the building, Teala notices that the Snake Woman has followed them outside. She screams and runs for the front door, as does everyone else.

 _Oh, no!_ thinks Teala as she charges into the building. _She's not going to stop, is she? She's not going to leave us alone until she gets someone like she got Guava! She wants to kill us all!_

Manny and Nikita run into the pole dancing room together. Teala follows them. Just as she reaches the entrance to the room, the Snake Woman catches her.

_No!_

Teala screams, struggles, and cries, but the Snake Woman doesn't release her. Instead, she uses her fangs to inject poisonous venom into the Super Spy's shoulder. Teala's senses are instantly flooded with pain unlike anything she's ever known. She sobs. The Snake Woman, apparently satisfied, lets her fall.

"You guys," announces Nikita, "Teala just got got and taken."

"Where's Teala?" Safiya asks.

It takes all of Teala's strength to pull herself to her feet. _She bit me. I can't believe it. She_ actually _just bit me. It hurts. What am I supposed to do now? I can't help the team when I'm like this! Where do I go?_

"She's in the pole room," says Manny. "I guess Matt, Ro, and Colleen have to save _two_ people now. That sucks."

 _Guava._ The name breaks like sunlight through Teala's clouded thoughts. _I have to go back to where Guava is. I'll be safe there. I think._

She drags herself out of Fat Man Slims, clutching her burning shoulder. No one acknowledges her departure. No one wishes her well.

Teala doesn’t make it five feet away from the pub before she falls to her aching knees and cries.

 

It still hurts. The venom marches towards Roi's vitals like a violent army, leaving devastation in its wake. To make matters worse, there's _something_ digging into his back. He cries out in pain, then digs through the couch cushions with his free hand, trying to get whatever-it-is out so that he can at _least_ suffer comfortably.

"What is wrong?" Calliope, whose soothing song has just ended, squeezes Roi's hand. "What is wrong now?"

"There's something on my back," he moans.

Calliope looks puzzled. "On your back?"

Roi stands up. His feet wobble a bit, but he manages to stay standing as he explores the couch. He touches something unfamiliar. "What is this?" It's a note and an ashtray. The note has a weird image on it, along with a message.

_Come find me._

_A clue!_ Suddenly, Roi gets a random burst of optimistic energy. _Okay! I can actually help the team now!_ "Come find who?" He's _sick_ of being the dude in distress. It's time for him to do his part, figure this note out, and maybe, just maybe, save the day.

"Omigod! Omigod!" It's Teala. She stumbles into the arcade, her hand on her shoulder, clearly freaking out. "She bit me! She bit me!"

 _Oh, no! Not Teala!_ "The Snake Woman?"

"Yeah! She just showed up while Nikita was dancing, and we ran, but I wasn't fast enough, and she bit me, and it hurts _so much,_ and now they're gonna think I'm _even more_ useless, and I don't wanna die! I don't want either of us to die!"

Roi grabs her hand. "We're _not_ gonna die!" he insists, his voice surging with determination. "In the movies, there's always a point where things look super dark, and everyone loses hope, but then, things get better. This is that point! We're not dead yet, so that means we still have a chance!" He shows her the note and the ashtray. "Besides, I found this!"

"What is it?" she asks.

"It's a clue. We can still help the team by solving whatever this is. What do you say?"

 

Teala takes the clues. Her shoulder still feels like it's on fire, but Roi's words have reignited her faith. _He's right. We may be poisoned, but that doesn't mean we're goners. There's still a chance for us. There has to be._

"Come find me." She frowns. "Should we check the lounge?"

Roi nods.

Together, the two wounded guests hunt through the lounge for something to find. Roi's holding his shoulder, clearly in pain, and it occurs to Teala that he's been dealing with this longer than she has. "Calliope?" She turns to their skittish-looking helper. "How much time does Guava have?"

Calliope glances at the clock. Her face falls. "Four minutes."

"Four minutes?!?"

"Don't think about it." Roi smiles bravely at Teala. "We just gotta keep looking."

So they keep looking, and Teala does her best to ignore the venom that's creeping through her body.

 

Rosanna's _really_ worried about Roi. The Daredevil might not be the most useful member of the group, but he's a good person, and he doesn't deserve to endure a slow, painful death by snakebite. She hopes that they can make the antidote before it's too late.

Matt keeps reading from the pamphlet.

_Anti-venom is developed from the venom of the attacking species. It's important to identify the type of animal that's bitten you._

"A snake," says Colleen.

"Wasn't it snake blood or snake venom?" Rosanna realizes aloud. "So it _has_ to be snake venom, doesn't it?"

Matt beams at her. "Yes, Ro! Exactly! That's _another_ ingredient figured out!"

The three of them go back to searching for possible ingredients. Rosanna's short stature comes in handy, as she is able to examine the lowest shelves with ease. "What about moon lily?" she asks, holding up a container labeled _moon lily._ "That's a night plant."

Colleen takes a look. "Oh, that's a petal!"

"What?" says Matt.

"Moon lily? A night plant?"

"Moon lily!" Matt's eyes light up. "Great! That's it! An evening petal! Yes! Absolutely! Yes!"

Rosanna brings it over. She _loves_ this group. She loves Matt, she loves Colleen, and she loves how everyone is helping. If they keep doing what they're doing, there's _no way_ that they'll fail.

 

"So now we just need calcium carbonate," says Matt. He doesn't know _exactly_ how much time they have left, but he's pretty sure that at _least_ fifteen minutes have passed. They need to move quickly. His heart can't take another failure.

Two seconds after he says that, Colleen shouts "I found it! I found it! Calcium carbonate!"

"Yes, yes, yes!" squeals Rosanna.

"Great!" Matt breathes a sigh of relief. "There it is!" As Colleen gives him the calcium carbonate, he gets a small container of water. "Let's just double-check and make sure that calcium carbonate makes the water bubble." He empties some calcium carbonate into his open hand. "Bill Nye the Science Guy, eat your heart out."

He drops the calcium carbonate into the water. It bubbles. The science experiment is a complete success.

Matt gathers the ingredients together. "So here's our calcium carbonate. Here's our moon lily. Great. Snake venom." They know three ingredients for sure. Now, they just have to figure out the other two. "Blank oil. It seems like it's only one word, so let's do rose oil, and then, finally, hem something. So we have hemp root and hemlock, so we can try both."

"Okay," says Rosanna.

"Well, this says 'hemlock' in here," remarks Colleen, who has the pamphlet.

_Hemlock is so poisonous it can cause death._

"Well, then." The last thing Matt wants is to accidentally kill Roi while trying to save him, like he did to Jc. "That seems like that would _probably_ not be the way to go, so let's start with hemp root." 

 

They're _so_ close. All they have to do is combine the ingredients correctly, and then, they'll have their antidote, and they'll be able to save Roi. Colleen crosses her fingers and prays for the best possible outcome.

"Let's put a little bit of _this_ guy in here," mutters Matt as he pours the ingredients into a small glass vial. "Everything's in. Let's add a little bit of water." The Detective's a smart guy. Colleen's glad that he's on their team. She isn't sure how far they'd get without him.

Rosanna bites her lip. "Okay."

"Put that in the centrifuge," says Matt, doing just that. "We have to keep it balanced. Turn it on."

"Shake it up," says Rosanna.

Colleen's finger hovers over the power button. "Okay, you ready?"

"Yes," says Matt, and Colleen turns the centrifuge on.

As the centrifuge does its work, Colleen remembers what the field guide said. If they get this right, the antidote will be yellow, so that's what they're looking for.

"Yellow," chants Rosanna. "Yellow, yellow, yellow."

Matt holds a container under the centrifuge's faucet. "I hear it."

Liquid trickles into the container...but it's not yellow. It's the most disgusting shade of green in the world. "It's green!" Colleen's heart sinks. "Okay, so, that..." _Dammit. We screwed up. Poor little Guava's probably on death's door by now._ "We did it wrong."

 

 _One bite poisons. Two bites kill._ Safiya's mind repeats the lesson in an effort to remind herself that Teala's still alive. She was only bitten once, as was Roi. Matt, Colleen, and Rosanna are all intelligent people, so they'll create the antidote and save their poisoned friends.

 _Unless the Snake Woman attacks_ them _next..._

"I'm _so_ shook from that frickin' Snake Woman," says Joey.

"Me, too." Manny has a hand on his heart. "Honestly, I'm shook."

Safiya doesn't have time to be shook. "All right, well, we have to work as fast as possible, because Teala is _literally_ dying."

"Which might not be such a bad thing, you guys." This from Nikita, who sounds _incredibly_ indifferent about the whole situation. Everyone turns to stare at her. "Just saying. Sorry. I'm looking. I'm looking."

 _Nikita, what's going on with you?_ Safiya considers asking. _You_ do _realize that this is a life-and-death situation, right?_ But she bites her tongue. She has to focus on finding the password before the Snake Woman comes back again.

Manny finds the second word written on a coaster. "Cold!" He shows it to the others. "I have something that says 'cold.'"

Shortly afterwards, Safiya comes across the third word. "There's this cigarette pack that says 'green.'"

Even Nikita, despite her callousness, is finding words. "Wait, you guys!" She's underneath one of the tables. "It says, under here, it says 'snakes.'"

"You're kidding!" declares Manny.

But Nikita isn't kidding. "It says 'snakes' right here," she says, and it does.

They have four out of five words, but they don't know what order the words go in. To figure that out, Safiya, Manny, Nikita, and Joey return to the photographs.

"Wait, wait! You guys!" Nikita taps her perfectly manicured fingernails against one of the photos. "There's a five under the sign."

She's right again. "Omigod, yes!" gasps Joey. "How did we not notice that? And there's a two on this one! Okay, so let's put it in order." Every photo has a number. "One...two...maybe they all combine together or something."

"There's three," continues Safiya, rearranging the photos as she speaks. "Four. Five." She catches sight of the collection of clues they've found. "What about these clues that were found at these places? Could they be in the order that these are laid out in?"

"So the cigarettes could be green," says Joey as he puts the cigarettes on top of the first photo.

"Cold is this one." Safiya places the coaster on the fourth photo.

The group matches each clue with its corresponding photograph. "Green snakes, blank, cold grass," they rattle off in unison. They need one more word to complete the password.

 

Matt, Colleen, and Rosanna have failed, and yet, they haven't failed. There are other options. As long as Roi's alive, they have time to try again.

"What did we do wrong?" asks a clearly anxious Colleen.

"So we definitely know calcium carbonate is right," reasons Matt. They've most likely fudged one of the unknown ingredients. That's easily fixable. He's not going to lose his cool. Not yet. "We definitely know that the moon lily is right. One drop of blank oil...let's continue with the rose oil."

Colleen wrinkles her nose. "You sure about that?"

Matt stares at the field guide. "It's not long enough to fill 'tea tree,'" he says. "So I would say rose oil feels accurate."

"Okay," says Colleen.

Mortimer speaks up. "Are we sure that these were all the oils over here?" he ponders.

"Are we missing an oil?" Matt wants to know.

Their helper looks conflicted. "I mean, you said it wasn't big enough to be tea tree, right?"

"Castor oil?" suggests Rosanna, who's just found some.

 _How many oils are_ in _this pharmacy, exactly?_ "It could be castor oil."

"I don't know." Mortimer checks his watch. "I think it's worth a shot. Roi's running out of time."

Rosanna runs over with the castor oil. Matt thinks of Roi's bright smile, and he sends some positive mental energy to the injured Daredevil. _Hold on, Roi, okay? We're coming to save you. Don't let go._

 

Rosanna's having a bit of trouble opening the castor oil bottle. Luckily, she has her best friend, Matt, to help her. "It's child-safe," he tells her. "Push down on it."

"Oh." She pushes down on it, and it works.

Matt smiles. "There you go."

"Keeps me out," she jokes. At thirty-two, she's the oldest member of the group, but her height and her youthful face make her look like the youngest. _Maybe the bottle thought I was a child._ "Okay, hemp root." She adds the final ingredient to their new version of the antidote. "Boom!"

"Okay, let's try it," says Colleen.

Rosanna feels confident. "I think this is it." Three out of four of the other ingredients are one hundred percent correct, and the fourth one's only other option is hemlock, which is poisonous. They _have_ to be right.

"Here we go." Matt pours the mixture into the centrifuge. He takes a deep breath. Rosanna can tell that he's very stressed about this mission.

"God," sighs Colleen, "this _has_ to be it."

The centrifuge rumbles. Matt holds a new container underneath its faucet. Liquid rushes out of the faucet, spilling all over the place. It's yellow. They've done it. They've created the antidote.

"There it is!" shouts Matt. "There it is! That's perfect! Yes! Yes!" The stress in his voice is gone, replaced with victorious happiness.

Mortimer opens the door. "We gotta get back to Roi. Come on."

"Let's go. Let's go." Matt gently shoves Rosanna ahead of him. "Watch out for the Snake Woman."

The hard part's over. All they have to do is get to Roi before he succumbs to the poison, then give him the antidote, and everything will be okay. If there's one thing Rosanna loves, it's happy endings.

 

Roi and Teala comb through the arcade. Roi's vision is beginning to blur, but he's still able to spot an image on the wall—an image that looks _exactly_ like the one on the note. It's the side of a woman's head. "Teala!" he yells. "Right here!"

Teala runs to him. The two of them take a closer look, and they see something above the image. Teala figures out what it is. "It's a string."

Well, if there's a string, Roi figures he might as well pull on it and see what happens, so he does.

"What does that—"

A door pops open, cutting Teala's question short. "Oh!" Roi jumps back, even though it hurts to do so. (To be honest, it hurts to do _anything,_ but he doesn't care. Helping the team is more important than complaining about what hurts.)

Inside the door is a wooden star and another note. "What is it?" Teala whispers.

_Place me on the horizon._

Before Roi can think about this clue, the awful burning feeling in his chest grows ten time worse, and his heart panics. _I'm dying._ There are two Tealas. There aren't supposed to be two Tealas. _No...it hurts...I_ can't _die now...I gotta fight it...I gotta finish this...can't let go don't let go won't...let...go..._

"Roi!"

Three figures enter the room. Judging by the colors, they're Matt, Colleen, Rosanna, and Mortimer. "Guys!" They did it. They're here to save him and Teala. Everyone's going to be fine.

"Guys, guys, guys!" Teala races over to the new arrivals, clue in hand. "We found a clue!"

"We both got bit," Roi explains.

"Here, we have the potion." Colleen sounds like a mother. "You have to drink it."

Matt has a dropper of liquid. "This is the antidote."

The world's going dark. Roi can feel his consciousness slipping away. He opens his mouth, and Matt squeezes the antidote down his throat.

It tastes _terrible._

He doubles over, coughs, gags, and breathes. Everything comes back into focus. He's alive. He's _alive,_ and he _loves_ the feeling of being alive, and he's _so_ grateful to Matt for saving his life. _I owe you one, dude._ He decides that he'll pay him back later.

 

As soon as Teala sees Matt holding the antidote, she feels a tremendous sense of relief. _We're gonna live, just like Guava said. We're gonna be okay._

Matt gives her the antidote. It tastes like an unholy combination of Capri-Sun and urine, and it slides into her stomach like a slug. She coughs. Oh, well. At least she isn't in pain anymore, and that's all that matters.

_Thank you, Matt._

 

The one word they haven't found yet is the one related to the pole dancing room, which kind of ticks Manny off. Did Nikita put in all that work for nothing? What's going on?

"It's over there, you guys," says Safiya, pointing to the room. "It's gotta be."

Manny agrees. "It _has_ to be over there." _We're missing something._

"I just...I keep going over there, and I can't find _anything,"_ Safiya gripes.

 _Oh, I feel you, girl._ "I can't, either! It's _so_ weird!"

They turn the pole dancing room upside down. Joey kneels in front of the couch. "Should we just lift up the cushions?" he asks, and when no one answers him, he goes ahead and does it. The word "in" is revealed.

Finally. They've solved the riddle. They have the freakin' password.

"It's 'green snakes in cold grass," concludes Safiya.

Manny glances out the window, and he sees Matt, Colleen, Rosanna, Mortimer, Calliope, Roi (who isn't dead), and Teala (who isn't dead either). "Omigod, they're coming!" _Matt, Colleen, and Rosanna must've made the antidote and saved the other two._ It doesn't surprise him, especially considering that Matt was involved. That boy has a mind like a steel trap. It's a _very_ attractive quality to have.

Nikita raises an eyebrow. "Is that Teala?"

"Come in!" Joey waves their friends inside. "Come in! Come in!"

So they come in, and Manny greets them. "Omigod, you're back!"

"We got the antidote," breathes Teala.

The group reunites. Safiya, however, skips the reunion in order to head up the stairs and give the password to Mr. Creepy Eyes. "Green snakes in cold grass," she recites, like a schoolgirl answering her teacher's question.

"Head downstairs," growls the man. "I'll meet you shortly."

Nine YouTubers, plus Mortimer and Calliope, go downstairs. Manny can't shake the feeling that not all of them will survive whatever the hell is about to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Do you like Jenga? Not for long! Also, Manny pulls out, Teala's turn lasts forever, and Nikita is taking this whole "role" thing _way_ too seriously.


	18. I Dare You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for everyone's favorite game: Jenga, now with snakes! The group must search for a golden brick. Will they get through this task without incident? Or is _someone_ gonna screw the whole thing up?

Nikita doesn't know what the hell they're about to do, but it _better_ not be something stupid or dangerous. Or stupidly dangerous. She's _not_ putting her ass on the line for a bunch of people she barely knows.

They gather around a table in a dimly-lit room. The man who was talking to them through the door finally shows his face. "Well, well, look at this lot," he scoffs.

"Oh, hey!" Colleen coos flirtatiously.

 _I mean, he's kinda hot, in a scruffy sort of way,_ thinks Nikita, _so I can see why she'd be into him._

The man doesn't seem to be interested in Colleen. "Each of you, take a card."

One by one, they pick a card. The back door opens.

"Why did that back door just open?" Teala asks.

Two cute guys walk through the door, carrying something tall that's hidden under a cloth. "That's Rodrigo and his friend," says the scruffy guy who let them in. "He's my manservant."

Nikita grins. _Do I have some kind of dating app on or something? Where are all these hunky men coming out of?_

She has some competition in a clearly thirsty Colleen. "Hey, cuties!"

The men put the tall, covered object on the table. "Uh-oh," squeaks Rosanna. The little Jet Setter reminds Nikita of a fluffy green mouse. At least she's a _useful_ mouse, unlike some _other_ people Nikita could mention. _Once we get to voting, we should trim some dead weight._

 

Safiya has no idea what could be under that blanket, but whatever it is, it probably won't be good. Nothing they've encountered so far in this town has been good. That's to be expected, considering that all of Everlock is trying to kill them.

"That's taller than me," says Rosanna, eyeing the covered object. She's right.

The men remove the blanket to reveal a snake-themed tabletop game. Dozens of green blocks are stacked on top of each other, forming a tower. It looks innocent enough, minus the snakes, but Safiya still feels nervous.

"It's time to play the Serpent's Game," announces the scruffy-looking man, "where the ante is your life. Inside this tower, there's a golden brick, and it's up to you to find it and place it on the pedestal right there." He points to a pink pedestal that's been positioned next to a chest, then turns back to the group. "You topple over the tower, you go into the final death challenge. No vote."

 _No vote?_ Safiya wears a blank mask, but inside, she's frightened by the thought. _If I knock over this tower, I'll be sent into the challenge without a vote?_ Considering the fact that people _die_ in these challenges, that's a truly terrifying prospect. _No pressure, I guess._

 

"Flip your cards over," continues their instructor. "Now, that's the order that you go in."

Nikita holds up her card. "I have ace. What does that mean?" She doesn't understand card lingo.

"First," says Joey. "You go first."

The stranger steps aside. "Game on!"

So Nikita approaches the tower. She hums to herself, studies the blocks through her thick black eyelashes, and places a stylized fingernail on the one she wants. It's an easy choice, of course. There's no way in hell that this block's removal will topple the tower. She should be good.

The only problem is, everyone else is talking, moving, and generally being annoying.

"Wait, can you guys stand still for a _second?!?"_ she shrieks.

They freeze.

"Thank you." She slides her chosen block out of the tower. It's not the gold one, but at least the dumb thing doesn't fall. "Okay, cool." She puts it back. She's done. Time for some other sucker to have a turn.

 

Teala goes next. Rosanna bites her lip as she watches her friend select a block.

"Be careful," Matt warns. "Gentle."

Fortunately, Teala is both careful and gentle, and she completes her turn without incident. "Who's three?" Joey wants to know.

Rosanna checks her card. _Oh, no._ She's three. This tower is _massive!_ It's taller than her! She's _so_ nervous, because she doesn't know physics. What if she knocks it down? What if she ends up in the challenge? What if she dies?

_Breathe, Ro. You'll be okay. Just take a block._

She's too short to reach the ones at the top, so she slowly wiggles out one of the middle ones while screaming. "Okay! Okay!"

"There you go," encourages Matt.

"Okay," she whimpers. The block is halfway out. "Just wiggle wiggle."

"Pull it out!" yells Nikita.

Rosanna tugs the block out of the tower. Thankfully, it doesn't fall. She breathes a sigh of relief. _I'm okay. I'm okay._

 

Colleen unclenches her teeth. _Poor Ro. She looked so scared. Well, at least she did it._ For some reason, the thought of Rosanna being forced in a death challenge makes Colleen feel sick to her stomach. "Who's four?"

"Me." Joey takes a block from the middle and puts it on top. "I was the quickest, so...just wanna..."

_Show-off._

It's Colleen's turn. She, too, chooses a block from the center of the tower. It comes out easily, which she appreciates. "Yes!" cheers Matt.

Manny steps up to the plate. "For the first time in your life, pull out!" Nikita orders her friend, and, to his credit, he does. The tower stays standing.

Roi and Matt take their turns. The good news is, neither of them topple the tower. The bad news is, neither of them pick the gold brick, either. Colleen's already over this. It feels like they've been playing for _hours._ Can't they just find the brick and move on with their lives?

"Okay, does anyone see any gold?" questions Safiya.

Colleen squints at the tower, but all she sees is green. "No, darling." She pronounces it "dahlin."

Nikita puts her hands on her hips. "We _have_ to find the gold!"

"I think it's a dot," remarks Rosanna, "cause I see all the tops of these, and it's green, green, green."

"We shouldn't keep pulling pieces that we know that aren't gold!" Colleen gripes. "It's a waste of time!" She would like to be done with this game in the next century, please and thank you. If it wasn't for the whole "you'll be sent to your possible death if you knock over the tower" caveat, she'd flip the table right now.

 

Safiya, like the badass that she is, expertly extracts a block from the tower. She's the last to go. Nikita picks another block, and then, it's Teala's turn again. "Ugh!" She rubs her temples. This is _so_ stressful. Which block should she choose?

"Just take one out, honey," chirps Colleen.

But it's not that simple. If she screws up, she could _die._ She doesn't _want_ to die. She has to think about this carefully.

Minutes trickle by like drops of water from a faucet. Teala can feel eight pairs of eyes judging her indecisiveness. _Don't rush me,_ she mentally begs. _I need time. Just give me time._

"Teala," sighs Nikita, like a frustrated teacher dealing with a troublesome student, "for the team, I think it's best that you choose one right now, because we are _literally_ running out of time, and we're _all_ about to die."

 _Fine!_ Teala picks a block, but she nearly has a heart attack in the process. The tower doesn't fall. _Thank God._

 

Rosanna, Joey, Colleen, Manny, and Roi pick blocks in quick succession. Matt's up next. "Here's the thing," he explains to the group. "One of these that actually provides structural integrity could be the one with the gold." If he's right, they won't be able to choose the correct block without knocking over the tower. Someone will have to go into the challenge without a vote.

Colleen catches on. "Right. So it could be a suicide mission."

"So it could be a suicide mission." A chill runs up Matt's spine. He knows that he should risk it all, just for the sake of bringing this game to an end, but he doesn't want to be forced into a death challenge. He doesn't want to die in Everlock. He has too much to live for.

But, at the same time, he doesn't have a choice. This is their best shot at the gold, and he just so happens to be the man for the job. Besides, he's good at physics. He can do it. He can save everyone without signing his own death warrant.

He reaches for a crucial block. _Please don't let the tower fall please don't let the tower fall please don't let the—_

"You saved my life, though."

Matt looks up from his suicide mission and finds himself staring straight into the grateful eyes of Roi Fabito. _I_ did _save you, didn't I? At least I saved_ someone. _At least I didn't fail you like I failed Jc. At least, if I die, I'll have left a positive impact on this group._ He takes a deep breath. _But I'm_ not _gonna die. I won't_ let _myself die._

"You saved my life, Matt," says Roi. "I can do this for you."

 _You can, but you won't._ Matt laughs off the suggestion with a joke. "You _are_ a Daredevil. You could jump across this table and stop me as I do this." Even though the selfish part of him would be perfectly fine with letting someone else complete this task, he'd rather not push his burden onto any of his friends. _I know how this works. I know what I'm doing._

He puts his hand on the block, but before he can take it, Nikita Dragun opens her mouth and changes everything.

 

Nikita is _sick_ and _tired_ of watching useful people die while the useless ones walk away scot-free. Jc saved all their asses at the disco, but he got stabbed to death, and Teala "Dead Weight" Dunn snuck past another hour. Now, here's Matt, another strong player, about to take the fall. She _won't_ let that happen. Not while there are people in this group who _still_ haven't done jack shit.

She stands up and locks eyes with Roi, like a lion preparing to pounce on its prey. "How are you _literally_ the Daredevil, and you're not gonna take a chance for all of us?"

"Omigod!" gasps Colleen. "Calling him out!" She doesn't sound happy about it.

Rosanna makes a funny noise.

"I'm just saying that he _literally_ saved your life." _You need to step up, sir! We're not your goddamn babysitters! It's time for you to show us what a Daredevil should do!_

 

Everyone's staring at Roi. They expect him to do something. "You want me to do it?" he asks Nikita, trying to sound courageous.

"I want you to do it!" she shouts. "If you are the Daredevil of this group, then _prove it!"_

 _She's right._ Roi can feel his heart pounding warning signs into his chest. _I'm the Daredevil. I came here to save Everlock and protect everyone. A_ real _Daredevil would go for the most dangerous blocks, the ones that are most likely to be the one we're looking for._

He's known a lot of heroes. He doesn't want to let them down.

"All right." He steps forward. "Check this out, then." He grabs the block in question. _Quick and easy._ If he does this properly, maybe he'll get the block _without_ knocking over the tower. _Be brave. No matter what happens, be brave._

"Roi!"

He pulls. The tower collapses into a million blocks. Everyone screams.

In a flash of horror, Roi realizes what this means for him. _I screwed up. I'm being sent into the challenge._

His stomach churns with fear.

_At least I proved myself..._

 

Throughout these nights, not counting all the times that everyone voted for themselves, Joey's only watched someone send themselves into danger once before...when Alex and DeStorm mutually agreed to duke it out in a swimming pool. But this isn't the same.

"You happy?" Roi picks up the fatal block, walks over to Nikita, and hands it to her. "This is for you! That's for you!"

She mumbles "thanks" and takes it.

"Look for the gold!" Teala cries out. "Where's the gold piece?"

Safiya finds it on the ground. "Oh, I have it." She shows the group.

"Omigosh, she found the gold!" exclaims Teala.

As the others look on, Safiya places the brick on the pedestal next to the chest. The chest swings open, causing a lot of shocked chatter from the group, and they find the serpent's head inside. And a note. There's always a note. Once they've placed the Serpent's Eyes inside the head, Safiya reads the note.

_To finish cleansing the artifact, two must be selected by vote and search the innards of a serpent to claim its heart._

_More like "one must be selected,"_ thinks Joey. "We're gonna have to vote."

They head back to the lounge. Once they're there, Matt gently leads Rosanna to her seat, and everyone gets ready to face another round of backstabbing. No one can bring themselves to look at Roi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: We find out who will join Roi in the serpents' den. Also, Teala tries to defend herself, Nikita doesn't like talking in corners, Rosanna wants to cry, and Roi regrets all of his life choices.


	19. Troublemaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roi's little stunt with the Jenga blocks has earned him a one-way ticket to the danger zone, but who's going up against him? Let's find out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right, folks! A double upload today! I guess voting chapters are just super easy to write.

"I say we split up again and just discuss among ourselves," says Joey, but to be honest, he's pretty sure that they're all thinking of the same person. There's one among them (besides the already-doomed Roi) who _has_ to go into the challenge. She's too useless not to.

He gathers Matt, Nikita, and Colleen into a small group with him. They huddle together in a corner.

"How quickly into your challenge did she get bit?" Matt whispers.

Joey and Nikita say the words _"very_ early" together.

"Really?"

"Yes."

Poor Teala Dunn. Joey knows that she has a good heart, but in these games, a good heart means absolutely nothing. She's the weakest member of the group. She _needs_ to fight for her life. That's how it works. That's how it's always worked.

 

Last time, Manny voted for Roi, but this time, Roi's going in no matter what, so Manny needs to find a new friend to throw under the bus...er, he means, send into the challenge. Yeah. That's it. He's got this.

Safiya, Rosanna, Roi, and Teala crowd around him. "How were you guys' dynamics?" Manny asks.

Rosanna looks up at him like a brave little elf looking up at a giant. "Everybody found stuff."

"I felt the same exact way." _Damn, this is hard._ "When Teala got grabbed...which sucks...but..." _Do I pick Teala? She ran out of cards last time, and she didn't really do much, but then again, she_ did _get bit. I don't know. I'm gonna have to think about it._

 

This isn't hard for Nikita at all! Teala's _useless!_ Her and Roi both! All they have to do is send Teala in with Roi, and that way, no matter who dies, the team will be better off! It's perfect!

But why the _hell_ are they all being so secretive about this? It's _obvious_ who's going in.

"I'm kinda over this, like, talking in two corners," she remarks to her group, and then, she stands up and snatches everyone's attention. "Can I say something?" She doesn't need their permission. She just keeps talking. "I really felt as though the Snake Queen herself chose the two weakest. Can we just start voting and let the cards decide?"

 

 _I knew it,_ sighs Teala internally. _I knew they'd come after me. They got Guava, and now, they're gunning for me._

"Well, Teala, do you have anything to defend yourself?" asks Joey, as if she's on trial.

 _I want to live,_ Teala almost says, but _that's_ not a good defense. They _all_ want to live.

 _I was in the last challenge._ They don't care. They want her gone.

 _Nikita's been nothing but trouble._ But that's what Nikita's _supposed_ to be. She's the Troublemaker, and Roi's the Daredevil, and Teala's the Super Spy, and they're all expected to keep up their roles even as people are _literally_ dying. It's insane. This whole town is insane.

"I didn't really have a chance to discover much," Teala admits, "but I think..." _They're not listening._ "I think I pulled my weight somewhat."

Joey, Colleen, Nikita, and even Safiya seem unimpressed. Matt and Rosanna exchange nervous glances. Manny checks his pockets. Roi looks sad, but really, who can blame him?

_Let's just get this over with._

 

"The first person to be into the challenge is the Daredevil," announces Calliope, in case someone slept through the Serpent's Game and missed that bit of information. She shows Roi's card to the guests, then puts it aside. "Understood."

Roi reluctantly raises his hand. _This is all my fault,_ screams his panicked mind. _Why did I listen to Nikita? Why did I take that block? Why am I such a freakin' idiot?_

He was brave enough to risk his life, but now, he's nowhere _near_ brave enough to die.

"Which leaves only one slot," Calliope concludes.

"Mortimer," Nikita asks the heroic helper, "how do you feel about all this?"

"I mean, the voting's stuff's _her_ idea," says Mortimer with a chuckle.

"Calliope," pleads Matt, "we don't have to keep doing this."

Calliope stands her ground. "It must be done."

 _Are you there, God?_ Roi prays as he goes up to vote. _It's me, Roi. I know I screwed up, but please, please,_ please _don't let the Snake Woman get me! She got me once before, and it hurt! A lot! I don't want to go through that again! If you let me live, I swear, I'll be_ so _much more helpful, and I'll protect everyone, and I'll be the best Daredevil in the world, I promise! I'll do anything! Just_ please _don't let me die!_

He's too busy mentally begging for his life to pay attention to the card he picks. It isn't until he sits back down that it hits him: he voted for Teala.

He wants to go far away from this place and never come back.

 

Teala votes. Safiya's next, and for her, the choice is obvious. _Teala._ Yes, Safiya saved her life, and yes, she previously gave her the benefit of the doubt, but now that she's seen the Super Spy in action, she understands why everyone was so quick to gang up on her.

They need the strongest people. Teala doesn't measure up.

 

Colleen and Joey cast their votes. Nikita can tell that both of them voted for Teala. _Good choice!_ Personally, Nikita can't _wait_ to take her turn. That lump of dead weight in a red coat is going _down._

"Guys," says Joey as he returns from voting, "there's only a certain amount of cards per person."

Matt shifts in his seat. "So we might not get to vote for our first choice, is what you're saying?"

"Exactly," Joey replies.

Sure enough, by the time Nikita reaches the table, Teala's cards are gone. Great! Just great! _Now_ who should she pick? _Remember, Roi's useless, and he's going in,_ she reminds herself. _Pick someone who can beat him._

So she picks Rosanna. Sure, the girl's a shorty, but she's one tough cookie. Nikita is _not_ about to underestimate her.

 

Once again, they've run out of Super Spy cards, so Manny can't pick her even if he wanted to. _Good luck, honey,_ he thinks, peeking at Teala out of the corner of his eye. _You're gonna need it._

He goes with Colleen. They haven't interacted much in a one-on-one setting. He doesn't know what she's like.

 

Matt's last voting session was...disastrous, to say the least. He doesn't want to repeat his mistakes and select a guest who doesn't deserve it. Not after what happened to Jc.

So who _does_ deserve it?

 _None of them,_ is the obvious answer. But he must choose.

He chooses Nikita. They don't want any Troublemakers in this group. Besides, she's already caused enough trouble as it is. If they're going to get through the night, they need to do it together.

 

Rosanna's last, and she _hates_ it. She doesn't want anything bad to happen to _any_ of her friends. There's no good decision here.

_I'm sorry, Nikita._

She hands over a Troublemaker card, goes back to her seat, and fights off a wave of tears.

 

Everyone's done voting. Thank God for that. Now, it's time for the big reveal. Nikita's pretty confident that _she's_ not going in, because no one would _dare_ vote for her, but she doesn't know if it'll be Teala or not. _Thanks, cards, for running out at the worst possible time._

"I will now shuffle," says Calliope.

Teala's trembling. "Omigosh." She stares at the cards like they're deadly weapons.

"Are you ready?" asks Calliope, as if they could stop this stupid game by telling her that they're not ready.

Joey nods. "Yeah."

"The person going into the challenge with the Daredevil is..."

_Teala, right? I hope it's Teala._

But when Calliope reveals the card, Nikita is shocked to see her _own_ face staring back at her. Everyone gasps. The name "Nikita" leaves Joey's mouth as a broken gulp of disbelief.

"The Troublemaker."

 _What the hell?_ Nikita wants to _kill_ something. _You bitches threw_ my _name into the ring?_ Clearly, being vocal about her opinions put a target on her back, because _heaven forbid_ a girl express herself around here. _Screw you, whoever voted for me! I'll show you! I'll show you all! I am_ not _dying, you hear me? I'm_ not!

 

 _No. No. Not Nikita._ Anyone _but Nikita._

Manny's heart drops. His very best friend, the one person he completely trusts in this town, has been chosen for the challenge. If she loses, she will _die._ He doesn't _want_ her to die. He doesn't know if he can face the night without her.

She leans towards him and hisses "I'll be back" into his ear. Then, she stands up, tosses her jacket over her shoulder, and walks away. He counts the steps she takes.

 

Roi's still scared, but at least he can appreciate the irony of who they chose to face him. _You called me out,_ the petty part of him crows at Nikita, _and now you're here with me, girl! Oh!_

He takes a deep breath, remembers that he still has a chance at a happy ending, and follows Mortimer and Calliope out the door.

 

Teala is more relieved than words can describe. Not only has she somehow avoided the snake challenge, but Nikita, who's been out for her blood from the get-go, has been chosen instead! This is great! If Nikita dies, Teala might _actually_ have a chance!

She crosses her fingers. _Don't let her come back,_ she prays, her hands shaking. _Come on, Guava. I know you can do it. You said that it's not over for us yet, and now's your chance to prove it. Don't let me down._

She doesn't say that out loud. Instead, she says "Good luck!" She hopes that her well-wishes will be enough to give Roi the strength he needs to save them both.

Roi Fabito and Nikita Dragun vanish into the night. The others sit together, listening to the silence, waiting for the end of this poisonous story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Roi and Nikita are thrown into the Snake Woman's final challenge. Whoever wins will get the heart they need to cleanse the artifact, but whoever loses will die in horrible pain! Fun!


	20. The Last Piece Falls Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the second showdown of the night! In one corner, we have a Troublemaker named Nikita. In the other corner, we have a Daredevil named Roi. Only one can leave the Snake Woman's fortress in one piece! Let's do this!

_In the movies, there's always a point where things look super dark, and everyone loses hope, but then, things get better..._

As he and Nikita follow Mortimer and Calliope to the Snake Woman's lair, Roi repeats his own words to himself in an effort to squash the crippling terror that threatens to swallow him whole. _I'll be okay._ The strings on his American flag jacket flutter in the wind. _I'll survive. I'll find the heart, and I'll cleanse the artifact, and I'll come back a hero._

He glances at the girl who's going up against him. Ruthless determination is stamped across her face. _She scares me._ But scary or not, she's still a person, and she doesn't deserve to die. _Maybe I'll save her, too, somehow. That would be cool._ He smiles, but his smile disappears within seconds.

"Here we are," says Mortimer.

Their destination is marked by an arch with a snake's face on it. In the distance, Roi can see the Snake Woman waiting for them, and his hand flies to his shoulder involuntarily. _Not again._ He shudders at the memory of what she made him suffer. _Please, God, don't let her hurt me again._

 

Mortimer hands Nikita and Roi a pair of white jumpsuits. "Put these on. There's one for each of you."

 _Okay, when I wanted a new outfit, this is_ not _what I meant,_ fumes Nikita, who's still pissed about being sent into this dumb challenge in the first place. Now, she has to wear (and possibly die in) _this_ ugly thing? "Oh..." She grimaces. "Please don't tell any others that I was wearing anything looking like this."

She reluctantly slips into her jumpsuit. Roi puts his on as well. They look like a pair of sewage workers, and Nikita _hates_ it. _How could they do this to me? Just because I speak my mind doesn't mean I deserve to be killed by the Snake Queen!_

"If I die," she yells at the sky, "I'm gonna haunt _all_ of you!"

She won't die. She _refuses_ to die. If the Snake Woman comes for her, she'll kick that scaly bitch in the head with her go-go boots. She'll do _anything_ to stay alive. _Anything._

 

Roi doesn't mind the jumpsuit. Yeah, it covers up his outfit, but the note from earlier _did_ say something about searching the innards of a serpent, which sounds messy. Nikita would probably _flip_ if her dress got ruined, so this is for the best.

"Here's the rules of the challenge," says Calliope, who just so happens to have them. Roi and Nikita take the note from her and read it together.

_Search the intestines of the great serpent to find the missing pieces of your mosaic. A completed image is at the end of the snake to guide you. The first to do so will be able to retrieve the heart, and the other will be poisoned by the Snake Woman._

_Poisoned by the Snake Woman..._ Roi remembers fire in his shoulder, burning a trail of pain throughout his blood. He remembers teetering on the edge of death. He swallows. _I don't wanna go out like that. I gotta find all the pieces before Nikita does._

"Good luck," whispers Calliope.

Nikita cringes. "I _hate_ snakes."

Roi thought snakes were awesome before, but now, he can't stand the thought of them.

He and Nikita stand in front of the arch. "Are you guys ready?" Calliope asks. After getting nervous nods from both YouTubers, she says "Go!"

The two guests charge into the Snake Woman's fortress, where they find two long tubs crammed with snake guts. Roi immediately starts digging though the murky liquid that fills his gutter, while Nikita reluctantly dives into hers. "Omigod!" he hears her shriek. "This is _so_ gross! Omigod!"

Exploring innards is _hard._ Everything feels the same to him, so he can't tell what's an organ and what's a mosaic piece. To top it all off, it's _freezing_ outside, and his hands are already numb. "I don't know what it's supposed to look like!" _Come on, Roi! Think!_

 

Nikita _hates_ this challenge. She's touching body parts that she didn't even know existed, squishy things, gooey things... _gross!_ Once she survives this (and she's _going_ to survive this), they'd _better_ let her take a nice, hot bath to make up for this crap. Preferably with bubbles.

Fortunately, there's a map of the mosaic she's trying to build opposite the mosaic itself, so at least she can figure out how she's supposed to put it together. She take a good, long look at it, clenches her fists, and plunges back into the River of Disgustingness.

 _I won't fail! I_ can't _fail!_

Roi doesn't seem to have noticed his map yet. "I can't find..."

"Oh, God." Nikita's found her first piece. "This is _so_ slimy," she complains as she carries it to the mosaic. "What kind of substance _is_ this?" She puts the piece in its place. "Holy fix the wheel." 

How many pieces are there? Five? Well, then, there's four to go. She's got this. She's Nikita Dragun, and Draguns never die.

 

The Snake Woman watches them. Every time Roi happens to look at her, he's back outside the arcade, screaming as she poisons him. _Don't think about it,_ his courage whispers as he fights off a flashback. _Focus on the challenge. Be brave. Stay alive._

"I found this piece." He frowns. "I don't know if that's even the piece." He rummages through boatloads of intestines, shivering as he works.

_Am I gonna die? Am I gonna find these pieces? What's Nikita doing?_

He doesn't know.

 

Nikita places her second piece in the mosaic. "Okay. Okay." She runs back to her stream of organs, breathing heavily. "Nikita, you're the Troublemaker. Don't back down."

_Two down. Three to go._

She _hates_ snakes. She thinks that they're squirmy, sneaky, shifty little creatures that have no business existing. But if there's one thing she hates more than snakes, it's losing. _Especially_ when the price of losing is death.

 

There's a map, but it's all Greek to Roi. "This doesn't make sense at _all._ The heck?"

"I swear," Nikita shouts, "if I get out of this, I'm going to _hurt_ someone!"

All of a sudden, something clicks. "Oh! What the heck!" Roi runs to his mosaic and puts the two pieces he's found so far into their proper spots. _I'm getting somewhere!_ He feels proud of himself.

That is, until he realizes that Nikita has _also_ just placed a piece. Her _third_ piece.

_Okay. So she's a _little_ ahead. But I can still catch up!_

 

Nikita's close to puking. Her hands are cold, her head hurts, and her heart thumps with fear. But she keeps looking. It's all she can do.

The fourth piece nearly slips past her, but she grabs it just in time. She rolls her eyes. "This is _so_ disgusting," she rants on her way to her mosaic. The piece slides into place. Nikita's mosaic looks a lot more colorful than it did before.

She returns to her mess. _Last one._ The smell of rotting flesh hits her nostrils, and she gags. _Come on, Nikita. You can do this. You're almost there. You've almost survived._

 

Roi decides to stop paying attention to Nikita's progress. It's only going to freak him out more.

He splashes through the...water? Blood? Whatever. Guts are everywhere. His white jumpsuit doesn't look very white anymore. He can't feel his fingers. _What if I lose?_ he worries. _What if this_ isn't _like the movies? What if these are my last moments alive?_

Wait. Is that a piece? It is! "Yes!" He takes it, checks his map, sprints towards his mosaic, and pops it in. "I just need two more pieces, but I can't even find them!" _Alex, I know you're up there. Could you use your angel powers and help me out a little? Please? For me?_

 

The fifth and final piece feels like ice in Nikita's hands, but she clings to it for dear life as she takes one last look at her map. "Down on the bottom," she chants. "Down on the bottom. Down on the bottom."

She nearly trips over her jumpsuit while racing to her mosaic.

"Omigod."

The piece finds a home with its brothers and sisters. Nikita feels as if all the wind has been knocked out of her, but it's the best sort of exhaustion in the world. _Omigod._ She grins. _I_ actually _did it. I am coming out as the winner._ Of course she is. She knew from the start that she would.

Her mosaic lights up like a firework. The Snake Woman's hands shine with blue power, and she steps out of the shadows to finish the job.

 

 _They're here somewhere._ Roi flings intestines aside as he continues his search for the tiles. _I gotta keep looking. I gotta—_

He looks up. The Snake Woman slinks towards him, hunger in her beady eyes. _Oh, no._ His shoulder hurts. His breath catches in his throat. He sees Nikita's completed mosaic glisten out of the corner of his eye. _I lost! That means...that means I'm gonna..._ "No!" He backs into the side of his gutter. "Hey! Chill!"

She doesn't chill. He tries to make a run for it, but she grabs him before he has the chance to pick up speed.

"No!" Roi thrashes, kicks, and screams for his life. "No!" The Snake Woman tackles him to the ground. "No!" Bravery and heroism are forgotten concepts. All he can think about is the torture that he knows is coming...and the fact that, this time, there won't be an antidote to save him.

The monster reopens the wound in his shoulder first, then, once he's sufficiently incapacitated by the familiar agony, goes for his throat. His screams fade into sobs, which soon collapse into quiet, anguished whimpers as the venom takes its toll.

"My God, this is disgusting!" Nikita sounds like she's speaking through a tunnel. "Sorry. Bye. Love you."

 _Love you too..._ Roi's consciousness is struggling to stay afloat, and he can no longer think straight through the pain. _Hurts...don't...I don't wanna die...I wanna be the Daredevil like they wanted...I couldn't...I let them down...I'm sorry..._

The venom destroys his heart. He hears a familiar voice, and he lets go.

 

Nikita feels like she's going to go insane if she stays here any longer. _I survived,_ she tells herself. _I'm okay. Aren't I?_

She runs from the scene of the crime, clutching the serpent's heart to her chest, while the Snake Woman hisses triumphantly over the motionless body of Roi Fabito. _Is this my fault?_ Nikita ponders. Tears threaten to spill from her eyes, but she refuses to acknowledge them. She's too tough to cry for a stupid little boy who threw his life away.

The heart burdens her with a nauseating sort of heaviness. She runs back through the arch, where Mortimer and Calliope are waiting for her. "You did it," says Mortimer, holding out the serpent's head.

"Mortimer," Nikita stammers, "what do I do?"

"Squeeze the heart over the head," he replies.

She does as she's told. Blood oozes out of the heart. Most of it lands on the head, but some of it stains her hands and her jumpsuit. She groans in disgust. Her stomach hurts.

Eventually, the Serpent's Eyes are cleansed. The Snake Woman crumbles into dust. Nikita's glad to see her go. _That's what you get, bitch._

She breathes. She suppresses her emotions. She walks away.

 

Rosanna hates herself. How could she have done that to Nikita? How could she have voted her into the death challenge? Now, Nikita's life is in danger, and if she dies... _oh, God, if she dies, it'll be all my fault._

__

__

She can't hold it in anymore. She begins to cry.

"Are you okay?" Joey asks.

Colleen shakes her head. "Ro's struggling," she observes.

Manny brushes some dust off her coat in an obvious attempt to comfort her. "What's wrong?"

"I know...I feel just really guilty..." she sniffles. "I just picked someone who I hadn't worked the most with. I didn't know what else to do." Her heart is breaking. She doesn't want Nikita to die. Of course, she doesn't want Roi to die, either. Why does _anyone_ have to die? Why can't everyone be happy together?

"Like, if they didn't come back, if they died, you'd feel like it was your fault," says Colleen, summing it all up perfectly.

Rosanna's tears fall like silent rain. Matt has a hand on her shoulder, but even his presence isn't enough to soothe her troubled mind. She thinks of Nikita—proud, bold, confident Nikita—and she wants to curl up into a ball and disappear.

Mortimer and Calliope arrive. Mortimer carries the serpent's head. Calliope carries a familiar black jacket, and Rosanna nearly dies when she sees it. "Why do you have Nikita's coat?" Joey demands to know.

"Wait, what?" gulps Manny.

_I'm so sorry, Nikita._

 

When he sees Calliope holding Nikita's jacket, Manny's heart sinks into his toes. _Nikita!_ It feels like someone's doused him in gasoline and is about to set him on fire. _Please, no! Not Nikita! Don't let it be true! Don't let her be gone!_

His prayers are answered thirty seconds later, when Nikita Dragun saunters through the door like a conquering hero returning from the war she just won. She's wearing a dirty jumpsuit over her dress, and ferocity flickers in her eyes, but she's still Nikita. The Troublemaker has returned alive.

The room erupts into chaos.

Manny's heart mends itself, and he breathes a sigh of relief. _Thank you, God._ He's not ready to lose Nikita, and as such, he's _so glad_ that she came back to him. Now, they just have to get through the rest of this awful night together.

 

Nikita spits at the ground. She hoists the serpent's heart high in the air, as if it's the severed head of an enemy. "Which any of you _bitches_ voted for me," she snarls, "I'm coming for you next."

Rosanna cries even harder.

The victorious blonde takes the serpent's head, Eyes and all, and puts it in one of the cabinets on the shelf, right next to the jack-in-the-box. Joey's _so_ relieved that she's back. She's _such_ a fierce competitor. Joey knows that she's going to help them get out of Everlock.

But every success has a price. This time, as Calliope's expression darkens like a storm cloud, Roi Fabito's innocent smile disappears into the ticket box. _He basically sacrificed himself for us._ Joey thinks of a bright-eyed boy in an RV, and he wonders if the ghosts of his past hate him even more than they did before.

 

Teala feels like someone gave her a beautiful ceramic jar filled with hope, then snatched it away and crushed it as she cried. Not only is Nikita, who hates her, still alive, but Roi's dead. Roi, her partner in clue-solving, who gave her faith when she had none, who told her that as long as they stayed alive, they still had a chance. He doesn't have a chance anymore. In a way, neither does she.

But she hasn't lost the clue they found. "Guava didn't die in vain," she tells the group, showing them the wooden star. "We found this together, and we haven't figured it out yet. It says 'place me on the horizon.'"

"Okay," says Manny.

Safiya looks around the room. "So we need a horizon."

"There's a picture of a horizon right over there!" exclaims Colleen, pointing to a painting of a sunset.

Teala goes to the horizon. She hangs her last link to Roi on the painting, and for a moment, she can feel his presence in the room. Then, a panel in the wall opens. "Omigod!" she gasps.

Joey's mouth drops open. "What the hell?"

"Omigod!" The secret panel contains a box with weird symbols on it, as well as a note. "There's a note!"

_Inside lies the Harp of Lazarus._

"What's Lazarus?" Teala asks.

_However, the box can only be opened by finding two brass coins that are hidden throughout Everlock and require an additional task to obtain._

Teala doesn't know what Lazarus is, or what's inside the box, but whatever it is, it's very important that they open it. For Roi's sake.

"At this rate, the guys are dropping like flies," snarks Matt.

"I'm one of the girls!" Manny insists. "Don't look at me!"

Safiya examines the box. "So you guys see these slots where the coins go?" She traces her finger over the slots. "That's the same design that was on Joey's bag."

Roi's dead, Jc's dead, and Teala's scared that she'll be next, but the night is still young. Anything can happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Roi. Another cinnamon roll who died early on. It's an Escape the Night tradition at this point. At least we still have Rosanna!  
> Next chapter: Let the bodies hit the roof! Also, Safiya continues to prove herself as the most capable member of the team, Teala angsts about her uselessness, and Matt has a theory about the Lazarus box.


	21. Corpse on a Hot Tin Roof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jc and Roi are dead, but eight guests still remain in Everlock. What _else_ does this twisted town have in store?

Colleen wrinkles her nose. _Well,_ she thinks with a sigh, _this place freakin'_ hates _me._ As if losing Jc wasn't bad enough, they've taken her little RV buddy away, and there are still six more artifacts left to cleanse. She's probably going to run out of friends before she gets out of here.

 _If_ she gets out of here.

"The thing is, we have to remember the pact that we made at the beginning of this mission," says Matt. "No hard feelings."

"We should just also keep in mind that someone's lying to us," adds Safiya.

This is all very good advice, but there's one more thing they need to remember. "And we need to stop with the tea being spilled and the fights and the drama," Colleen declares, "because sun's gonna come up any second, and we have a lot more work to do, so we need to figure out what's going on with this box." She knows in her heart what _really_ killed Roi: drama. Pointless, stupid, time-wasting drama. She could name names, but that'll only make it worse. Instead, she's going to honor her fallen friend by refusing to perpetuate the cycle. They need to work together if they have any hope of making it out of Everlock alive.

 _But what about Joey?_ hisses a voice in her mind. _He's been acting pretty suspicious..._

She scowls. _No more drama, brain. Shut up._

 

Matt has a theory.

This is nothing new, of course. He's _MatPat._ Theories are pretty much his bread and butter. But this theory is not his usual "Troy's the villain, Sans is Ness, and FNAF was just a dream" schtick, but rather, something that could potentially save everyone. _Everyone._ Even the ones they've already failed to save.

 _This thing is called the_ Lazarus _box._ He knows his basic Bible stories. He knows the tale of Lazarus's resurrection from the tomb. _What if, when we open it, we find something that can bring people back from the dead? What if we can revive Jc and Roi and whoever else dies? What if there's still a chance for all ten of us to get out of here?_

 _God,_ he wants to be right. He wants to apologize to Jc. He wants to see Roi's smile again. He wants to fix this broken situation.

"I'm noticing that the box has the same symbols on it that were on your briefcase," he says, pointing at Joey. "And you said that those were—"

"Society Against Evil symbol," is Joey’s quiet reply.

Matt doesn't have a clue what the Society Against Evil is, but the symbol on the Lazarus box is _identical_ to the symbol that helped them with the seance three hours ago. This only strengthens his case for resurrection. If that symbol can do rituals, summon spirits, and help them travel through time, _surely_ it can also save the dead.

 _But hey, that's just a theory,_ he thinks, almost out of habit. _A theory that might be our only hope._

 

It seems like no matter what Joey does with his life (or death), the Society Against Evil _always_ gets involved somehow. Even before 2016, before the nightmare began, he was friends with one of their agents for years without knowing it. _Why the heck do they care about me so much?_

"What do you know about that?" asks Colleen.

Nikita, who's changed out of her jumpsuit, echoes Colleen's question. "How do you know that?"

"The Society Against Evil fights all evil," Joey explains. "I've been with them before." _That's the understatement of the century._

"And so _they're_ the ones who are out to help this town," realizes Matt.

Teala moves her hands as she talks. "So they're with us."

Joey nods. "They failed in their mission, and that's why we're here." It's the truth, but it's a highly condensed version of the truth, and it leaves out all of the important details. Regardless, it's all that he can afford to let his friends know.

"If _they_ failed," snaps Nikita, "how are _we_ supposed to succeed?"

Seven YouTubers glare at Joey, demanding answers. None of them know what's happened to him in the past. Sure, they know the stupid cover story, but they don't know the _real_ story. If they did, they would not be on this adventure with him.

Joey thinks of Shane Dawson, the first guest to die at one of these parties, the only one who knew anything about what was (and _is)_ going on. _If we'd saved him from the poison,_ he wonders, _would things be different?_

 

The name "Society Against Evil" sounds familiar to Safiya, as if she's heard it before. She brushes off the distant memory.

"So that symbol's on the map, right?" is Matt's next observation.

"Yep." Safiya points to the map. "It's right on the map."

Teala stands up to get the map. "Bring it over here, Teala," says Joey.

Once Teala's retrieved the map, the group gathers around it. As with the last time they cleansed an artifact, there's something new on the map: a green, wispy substance, smeared across the parchment in what looks like watercolor paint to Safiya.

"This looks like green smoke," remarks Joey.

"This looks like moss," says Manny.

"Honey, that looks like me after really bad fast food," jokes Colleen. This earns her a few laughs. "Okay, what's new?" Colleen peers at the map. "Okay, so we got Shag's Motel. Sounds like a place I would visit."

Joey gives her a lighthearted tap on her finger.

Also new on the map is the Man with No Name's Lair, which comes with a message.

_The Man with No Name was hunted because the town thought he was a freak of nature. He sure showed them._

Something about the phrase "he sure showed them" gives Safiya the chills.

Teala frowns. "Maybe..."

Before she can go beyond "maybe," a crashing sound is heard from outside.

 

_"What?"_

Whenever Manny hears crashes like the one that just happened, he tends to want to run the other way. _No! Let's not investigate that! I don't wanna go outside! Please, don't make me go outside!_

But, because he has crappy luck, they all start going outside. "I think we should check it out," says Mortimer.

"It's something," is what Manny says, but what he's thinking is, _Why are we going towards the crash? I don't understand!_ He's _that_ girl. He's the one who's seen enough horror movies to know what happens to people who check out weird noises. They get murdered. Brutally.

Nothing seems out of place outside the arcade. There are no murderers, which Manny is _very_ happy about, and there aren't any creepy things that cause crashes, either. At least, not at first glance.

Joey raises an eyebrow. "Nothing's here. I don't see anything."

Then, they see a corpse on the popcorn machine.

_You jinxed it, bitch._

"Omigod!" gasps Joey. "It's a _body!"_

Teala's mouth swings open. "What _is_ that?"

"Should we take him _off_ the popcorn machine?" is Matt's question.

The body is wrapped in plastic sheets. Joey removes them, and everyone shrieks when they see the dead man's face. Manny's never seen an _actual_ corpse up close before. He would've been perfectly happy to live out the rest of his life without seeing one, but _nope._

"Omigod!" exclaims Teala. "What _is_ that?"

"I don't know," says Joey.

"Wait, wait, wait." Manny spots a book in the sheets. "There's a book in here." It's probably another clue.

"What does it say?" Colleen asks.

Manny grabs the book. "We're taking the book, y'all. I'm just saying."

"Yeah," Joey agrees. "Let's go inside."

"Let's take the book. Thank you so much." Manny waves goodbye to the dead body as he heads back inside. _Hopefully, someone will have cleared that bitch away before we have to go back out again._

Mortimer nods. "Yeah. Good idea."

"Bye, bitch!" calls Colleen.

Nikita's the first through the door. "I'm _done_ with dead bodies." She grimaces, and it occurs to Manny that she most likely saw Roi's corpse after the Snake Woman was done with him. _Poor Nikita._ He wants to give her a hug, but he doesn't, because she's clearly not in the mood.

 

Teala thought that the object that fell off the room was a shoe, or a stuffed animal, or maybe popcorn. Not a _dead body!_

 _Well, at least_ that's _over._ She shudders at the memory of the man's empty, glassy eyes. Dead people's eyes are the _worst._ At least Jc had the decency to close his eyes when he died. So did the intruder who was killed by the Snake Woman.

 _What about Roi? Were_ his _eyes closed?_

That's a question she'd rather not know the answer to.

Joey takes the book from Manny, opens it, and reads it aloud.

_I'm getting close to finding the Statue of Era. Its power is both terrifying and intoxicating. Many have died seeking to obtain it. After gathering their obituaries, I discovered that their deaths have been secretly chronicled in the adventures of Alan Quartermain. There's something about placing the volumes in their proper order that will reveal the statue. The painting holds the key._

"Painting?" mutters Joey.

"The painting holds the key," Teala repeats to herself, doing her best to make sense of what she just heard.

"Okay," says Matt, "so we need books."

Joey checks the open book in his hands. "Oh, wait, it says six books. Six books. There's six books. We need to find six books, guys."

Rosanna holds up a book with a red cover. "This is his name," she squeaks, running her finger along the author's name, which, sure enough, is Alan Quartermain.

"Alan Quartermain!" Joey shouts happily.

"Okay, so we have to look for books written by that person," instructs Colleen. "Okay?"

Teala just so happens to be looking over Joey's shoulder when she sees a painting in the book. "Oh, oh!" She points. "There's photos!" Paintings. Photos. Tomato. Tomahto. It's an image, it has six people in it, and it looks familiar. "Oh!" _Silly Teala. It's right there on the wall!_ "That's the painting! Yeah!" _See? I'm useful._

"We're gonna have to place the six books in front of the picture in a certain order," says Matt.

So first, they need to find the six books. Then, they need to match up the books to the painting. Finally, they need to figure out where to place them. Teala already has a headache.

 

Rosanna doesn't want to be scared, but to be honest, this whole situation completely and utterly _terrifies_ her. Two of their friends are dead! They just saw a dead body! Now, they have to find books about people dying! She's never thought so much about death in her whole life, and she _hates_ having to think about it now.

It takes about thirty seconds for them to find all the books. "We have six! Okay, good." Joey flips through the original book, the one that they found with the corpse. "There's a photo in here that looks...it's a book holder." He shows the picture to everyone. "So I think—" Suddenly, he notices a nearby book holder. "Oh! That's where we place them in order!"

"Oh, yeah!" breathes Teala.

"We still need to find these obituaries," Colleen reminds them, "cause that's gonna tell us the order."

 _Oh, no._ Rosanna turns pale. She _hates_ obituaries. She never reads them. They make her sad.

Joey continues to search his book. "Guys, I just found, like, a secret pocket!" He reaches into the pocket and pulls out a bunch of newspaper clippings. The guests make sounds of relieved understanding as they toss the obituaries around.

"Don't lose it!" warns Matt.

Each obituary has a detailed description of how the person in question died. "Sarah G was eaten alive by flesh-eating beetles," says Joey in a casual tone of voice, as if he's saying that Sarah G checked her Instagram. Rosanna is surprised by his strange attitude towards the poor woman's fate.

"Look." Matt points at the books, which have been laid out on the table along with the painting. "The causes of their deaths line up with the books of Alan Quartermain. We can use the pictures in the obituaries to match them up with their appropriate adventure in this painting."

Rosanna smiles at him, grateful for his help.

The group gets to work. "Okay, this guy was crucified by the Black Order Cult," says Joey. Rosanna nearly cries at the thought of such an awful death.

"That's _The Evil Cross,"_ Safiya replies. "Oh, I've got Danielle, impaled by a trident."

 _Impaled by a trident?!?_ Rosanna doesn't want to solve this puzzle anymore!

 

Nikita points to a woman in the painting. "Yes. That's her." She only _just_ got done surviving a goddamn _death_ challenge (and watching someone die, but whatever, it was only Roi, it didn't bother her, really), and now it's back to combing through a bunch of stupid clues. _Can't a girl get a five-minute break around here?_

"Oh, this is this." Teala shows Safiya a book. "This is this."

Eventually, they're able to line up the books in the order they're supposed to go in. "So one." Joey begins to count off the books. "Two. What's three?"

"The stake burned alive," says Colleen.

Nikita taps her finger against the book about burning. "That one's three." Honestly, Alan Quartermain needs to stop writing about people's grisly deaths. Doesn't he have anything better to do?

"Four." Safiya hands a book to Joey. "And then here's five."

Joey collects most of the books. "Okay, here, I'm gonna go put these over here."

"Six!" Matt concludes, displaying the last book.

Joey puts the first four books into the book holder. "Omigosh," says Nikita softly, watching him with big brown eyes, wondering what's about to happen.

"Omigosh, Joey," whispers Rosanna.

Safiya counts the books. "One, two, three, four..." She slides the last two next to the first four. "Five and six."

A giant door in the wall falls open out of nowhere. Screams of "Omigod!" fill the room. Nikita jumps, then forces herself to calm down. On the other side of the hidden door is a pitch-black room. Demonic mutterings can be heard. Nikita wants absolutely nothing to do with any of this.

"That looks demonic," says Joey. He's right.

Matt shakes his head. "We're not in Everlock anymore, Toto."

Inside the room is a really scary statue that must be the Statue of Era. Also, there's a small box. "There's some kind of box in here, you guys," says Nikita, struggling to speak through the sudden lump of dread in her throat. "I feel like we _shouldn't_ open it, but I feel like that means we should." She's not scared. This isn't scary. She's seen worse at a cheap haunted house. This creepy-ass room does _not_ scare her. Not at all.

 

Inside the box is a note and some straws. Safiya, who feels like she's been relegated to permanent note-reading duty, reads to the group.

_The Statue of Era infects all who touch it._

"Oh, no!" Joey's hands fly into the air. "Did we just touch it?"

"You touched the box," Safiya assures him before she keeps going.

_To purify the corrupted idol, five ancient stones must be placed at its feet._

Safiya feels the need to inform everyone that "that's those holes, probs."

"Oh," says Joey. "Okay."

_To find the stones, you must assemble two hunting parties by drawing straws from the box. The two with the short straws will be the party leaders. Starting with the youngest leader, they will take turns picking their team._

Colleen looks embarrassed. "Oh, we gotta say our _age?"_

"I'm the youngest," says Teala sheepishly.

_The group to recover the stones will be safe from the final challenge. However, the Man with No Name protects his gems, and his touch removes you from the hunt for five minutes. Your only sanctuary is under a red light._

To Safiya, tonight is a vicious carousel of death and despair. It's time to ride the merry-go-round once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The group splits up into two teams of four and goes on a scavenger hunt for fingers. Also, Rosanna is still short, Manny steps into a leadership position, Nikita flirts with a monster, and Colleen isn't bitter at all.


	22. The Hunting Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a team challenge! Which team will find all the fingers and save themselves from possible death?

One by one, the guests draw straws. When it's Manny's turn, he takes a deep breath, hopes for the best, and plucks a straw out of Mortimer's hand.

"Oooh," whistles Matt. "That looks short."

He's right. Compared to the straws that everyone else has drawn so far, Manny's straw is pretty much a shrimp. _I'm a team captain for sure._ He glances around the group, mulling over his options, wondering who would be best to take with him into the hunt. He already has a wish list.

 

Teala draws the second short straw, and she feels happy and nervous at the same time. On the one hand, if she leads her team to victory, maybe they won't think of her as dead weight anymore. On the other hand, if her team loses, she's _toast._ She _has_ to be careful with her selections.

"You're the youngest," says twenty-seven-year-old Manny to twenty-one-year-old Teala, "so you get to pick first."

"Schoolyard pick, huh?" jokes Matt.

 _Oh, God._ "This is a _lot_ of pressure." _Who won't let me die?_

"Absolutely," Manny agrees.

There are a lot of smart people in this group. The thing is, it was Matt who warned Teala that people were after her, and it was Matt who saved her and Roi from the Snake Woman's venom. He's a _must_ for Team Teala. "I pick Matt."

He shrugs and joins her.

 

Well, of _course_ Matt gets snapped up right off the bat. Nikita wasn't expecting anything less. The question is, will his brains be enough to keep Teala safe for another round?

It's Manny's turn. "Okay. I pick Nikita."

 _I knew you would._ Nikita doesn't betray an ounce of emotion as she takes her place by his side, but her heart feels soft, like it's made of cotton candy. _We're going to win. I'm getting out of this town, and I'm taking you with me._

 

Colleen isn't close to Manny, and she _definitely_ doesn't have a good relationship with Teala at this point, so she's not sure which team she'll end up on. _I just hope I don't get picked last._

"Sophia," says Teala. Sophia Nygaard, since apparently that's her name now, rolls her eyes on her way to Teala's group.

Manny's piercing gaze scans the remaining guests. "I pick Joey," he decides.

"Good choice," says Joey.

Manny smirks confidently. "I know."

Rosanna and Colleen are the only two guests left. Even though Teala's useless, Colleen wants her to pick her for her team, because that's better than not being picked by anyone at all. _Come on, Teala. Do me a solid and pick—_

"Ro."

Colleen feels unwanted, but she hides it with a smile. "All right," she says sadly as Rosanna goes to Team Teala. "It's fine. No hard feelings."

"All good," says Manny.

"All good," repeats Nikita. "Best for last."

As Colleen joins Team Manny, her new team captain mouths "I get picked last all the time" at her. This makes her feel a _little_ better, but not much.

 

Team Manny consists of Manny, Nikita, Joey, and Colleen, while Team Teala has Teala, Matt, Safiya, and Rosanna. The teams are fairly evenly matched, and as far as Matt's concerned, it's anyone's game...which worries him. _If we win, we're safe, but if we lose, one of us is next to die._

He _won't_ let that happen. He'll do whatever it takes to protect himself and his friends.

"Where are we hunting?" Nikita asks.

"We have to go outside," Joey informs her, "and the only place safe is the red light."

Manny uses his hands to emphasize his words, like he always does. "Literally under red light."

"And we're looking for gemstones?" Matt questions, just to make sure.

"Five," say both Joey and Manny.

"Gemstones that he's guarding," adds Teala. "And we can't let him touch any of us."

"Okay." Matt's glad they cleared _that_ up.

Calliope waves them outside. "Let's get this hunting party started."

They walk back out. The body's gone, which is a relief, but green mist engulfs the entire town. Also, there are two severed hands with missing fingers in front of them. Safiya reads the note that accompanies the hands.

_Each clue will lead their respective group to a severed finger._

_Yay!_ thinks Matt sarcastically. _I love finding severed body parts!_ He doesn't. They're disgusting.

_After each finger is found, you must return to your hand and put it back to the bone to receive your next clue. There's an additional puzzle by the pump station that holds one of the Lazarus coins needed to open the Lazarus box. It does not need to be completed to win, but if a hunting party manages to open it, they will not only get the coin, but will be moved ahead to the final clue, even if they have not solved the others._

Matt's ears perk up. There's a Lazarus coin at the pump station! A _Lazarus_ coin! If they find the coin, and his theory is correct, they'll be one step closer to saving Jc and Roi!

 

Manny takes his role as leader _very_ seriously. He's _not_ about to let Nikita, Joey, Colleen, or himself get killed by whatever the hell is trying to kill them _this_ time. Sure, they don't have Matt or Safiya, but they'll win anyway. He'll make sure of it.

Joey sums things up (with the occasional "yes" and "yeah" from the girls). "So we're looking for fingers. We'll get a clue at a time, leading us to it."

"I think we should get started," says Mortimer. "Team One's over here with me."

Team One happens to be Team Teala. Calliope calls for "Team Two," which is Team Manny. Manny tries to think of a better name for his hunting party as they gather around the hand that's been assigned to them.

"Okay, Hunting Party Two." Joey opens the envelope that comes with their hand. "Okay."

Mortimer stands with Team Teala. "Everybody grab your notes?"

"Does everybody have their notes?" Calliope asks.

"Yes," Joey replies.

Calliope moves to join Team Manny, which is good, since Manny likes her a _little_ more than he likes Mortimer. "Both teams," she declares, "read your first clue!"

_Stand between the sun and moon and view the tree that died too soon._

"So we need to look for a tree that died too soon," says Joey, "and look for a sun and moon."

Manny gives his teammates a good once-over. Nikita, Joey, Colleen, and Calliope, as different as they may be, have one thing in common: they're all badass bitches. Even if some of them weren't his first choice, Manny feels proud to have them on his side.

 _That's it!_ A team name comes to him in a flash of inspiration. _We're not Team Manny anymore. We're Team Badass Bitch, and we're here to slay!_

 

Safiya reads Team Teala's first clue.

_Eight sides to feel the air, a romantic place to stop and stair._

_It's spelled "stair" instead of "stare." That means something._ Safiya wrinkles her brow. "There's stairs that are romantic," she reasons. "Eight sides...stairs...eight stairs..."

"All right." Mortimer seems clueless. "What could that be?"

The pieces come together for Safiya. "It's the gazebo." _Everything always has an explanation._

"Yep," says Matt.

Joey's shout of "Go!" tells Safiya that Team Manny has solved their first clue as well. Or, at least, they _think_ they have.

"The gazebo's right there." Safiya leads her teammates to the gazebo...and that's when she catches sight of their brand-new enemy.

He's a tall, long-armed, long-legged monster, with wrinkled brown skin, beady eyes, and a mouth that seems to be permanently glued into a frown. He growls as he walks. Safiya is reminded of Slenderman.

Manny's scream is loud enough to be heard across town. "Omigod!"

The Man with No Name towers over Team Teala as they huddle together in a circle of red light. Matt covers Rosanna's eyes. The creature's long arms sway in the wind. Much to Safiya's relief, he soon gets bored and goes somewhere else.

 

Teala's _just_ met the Man with No Name, and she _already_ has a bad feeling about him. He's too tall! His arms are too big! Everything about him is wrong! She can't _stand_ the thought of being chased around by a thing like that!

"Okay, ready?" Matt pushes Safiya ahead of him. "Go, go, go."

But Teala has a better idea. "Wait," she whispers. "The pump station, I think, is that way. I swear." If they split up, they'll be able to find the fingers _and_ look for the Lazarus coin all at once. They'll get twice the amount of work done in half the time. It's the perfect plan.

As Safiya and Matt run off to solve some clues, Teala takes Rosanna and Mortimer by the hand.

"Okay, come on," says Mortimer. "I'm with you guys."

"Yes!" cheers Rosanna quietly.

Teala squeezes her friend's hand. _I can do this,_ she tells herself, but she doesn't know if she believes it.

 

Matt and Safiya reach the gazebo. "Under the stair?" Safiya murmurs.

"Under the stair," Matt echoes back at her. Man with No Name or no Man with No Name, at least their team's first clue is pretty straightforward. He kneels next to one of the stairs to look for fingers, as does Safiya. _Okay, fingers, where are you?_

"Wait." He picks up the stair and checks underneath it. "Nope."

 

Team Badass Bitch's strategy is to stick together. For one thing, four heads are better than one when it comes to puzzle-solving, and also, there's strength in numbers, which will help them if/when the Bitch with No Name shows his ugly mug again. So Manny leads the charge into the fog, Nikita by his side, while Joey and Colleen bring up the rear.

"I can't see anything!" Joey complains, trying and failing to brush green mist out of his eyes. "Sun and moon...tree that died too soon..."

Manny spots a carving of a sun with puffy cheeks, hanging on the outside wall of a store. "A sun!" he exclaims, pointing. "A sun. A sun. A sun." _Is there a_ reason _why the sun has a face? That's creepy. This town is creepy._

"Where's the moon?" asks Joey.

Before they can find the moon, the Man with No Name crashes the party.

"Omigosh." Joey turns pale. "All right, we _need_ to find the moon."

_I know, honey! We're looking for it!_

 

Rosanna, Teala, and Mortimer arrive at the pump station, where they discover another locked container. _Who's going around locking all these containers?_ Rosanna doesn't ask.

"There's a lock," gasps Teala. "There's a code."

"What's it say?" Mortimer wants to know.

Rosanna examines the container. "It's upside down!" It's like this place is trying to make things _even more_ confusing than they already are.

Mortimer gulps. "I don't know, guys. This thing is coming back!"

The three of them join hands and run away from the Man With No Name. "Let's go find Matt and Sophia," says Teala. "Maybe they need our help."

Now, Rosanna loves Teala, honest she does, but she's not sure if the captain's strategy is working. Matt is a natural leader. Teala is...not. _Maybe the two of them should switch positions._

Teala breaks away from the other two and runs ahead of them. "This way!" she whispers urgently. "This way! Come on! Come on!"

They follow her. Rosanna hopes that they know what they're doing.

 

The Man with No Name lumbers after something out of sight. "Omigod," whimpers Joey. "Oh, I don't like that!" He's been in pure shock ever since the Man with No Name revealed himself. How can _any_ creature be _that_ tall?

"Where's the moon?" questions Calliope.

Manny paces back and forth. "Sun...moon..."

Then, Joey catches sight of a stump and gasps. "This tree!" he cries. "This tree died too soon!" He rushes up to it to take a closer look, and sure enough, a finger lies within its wood. "I found it!" He grabs it and shows it to his teammates. "I found the first finger!"

"Yes, yes, yes!" chants Manny.

Joey beams with pride. "Okay, let's go back!" He _loves_ team challenges. In the middle of a night of betrayal and death, it's nice to work together for a change.

 

"He's coming back," stammers Safiya. "He's coming back. Oh, shit, Oh, shit. Oh, shit."

Usually, Matt's not much of a cusser, but in this case, a few "oh, shits" are appropriate. "This way," he whispers to Safiya. They sneak out of the monster's line of sight.

"Guys! Guys!" It's Teala. She, Rosanna, and Mortimer are hiding under a red light, where the Man with No Name can't hurt them. "Red light! Red light!"

Team Teala reunites underneath the crimson glow of safety. "We gotta stick together," insists Mortimer.

 _I agree._ "Okay," says Matt. "The gazebo is 'eight sides to stop and stair.' But 'stair' is spelled like S-T-A-I-R?"

"Like they're real stairs," says Safiya with a sigh. She _clearly_ already knows this. The Investigative Reporter is a smart cookie, that's for sure. It wasn't fun competing against her in the clowns' challenge, especially since she won, so Matt's grateful that they're on the same team this time around.

Anyway, it _has_ to be the gazebo. The hardest part of the challenge is actually finding the fingers.

 

Nikita's head is _killing_ her, and they're only one-third of the way through finding the fingers. Those Team Teala bitches _better_ not be farther along than they are. She's _not_ going back to death row.

Joey puts the first finger on their hand.

"Okay." Nikita fights to catch her breath. "Where's the next clue?"

There's nothing there. "I don't know," frets Joey. "Where's the next clue?"

 _Oh, goddammit._ They _found_ the stupid finger! Therefore, there should be a clue here! Is someone screwing with them? What the _hell_ is going on?

As if things couldn't get any worse, the Man with No Name reappears to freak them out some more.

"Run back. Run back." Colleen takes off running. Nikita, not knowing what else to do, starts off after her. Manny's right on her heels.

Three members of Manny's team make it to the nearest red light. Joey, however, is trapped. His path is blocked off by the Man with No Name, who's moving in on him. _What can I do in this situation?_ Nikita wonders, but then, it hits her. _Hello! Distract him!_

"Excuse me, sir!" she yells at the tall homeboy. "Hi! I'm over here!" She steps out of the red circle. "Hi, sir!"

The Man with No Name focuses on her, freeing Joey to keep looking for their missing clue.

A drawer pops open underneath the hand. Joey reaches inside and grabs a note. "Guys, I got the next clue!" he cheers. "I got it!"

Yes, they've found the clue, hooray, but their problems aren't over. The Man with No Name loses interest in Nikita (for some bizarre reason), and instead, he menaces Manny and Colleen, who are still in the red circle. Colleen hides behind Manny. Both look terrified.

 _I have to protect them!_ "Tall man! Are you over six foot? Come to Daddy!"

Nikita's words recapture Tall's attention. He goes for her. Manny leaves the safety of the red circle in order to help her with distracting duty.

"Good job, guys!" Joey's head is buried in their new clue. "Keep distracting him!"

"Come here, Daddy!" giggles Nikita as Manny makes come-hither motions with his hands.

Well, shit. Daddy's _too_ close.

Colleen screams. Both Manny and Nikita run back to the red light. "Omigod!" Nikita's heart is beating like _crazy_ right now. _We're safe here, right?_ She clings to Manny. The Man with No Name closes in on them. _We're safe. Please, tell me we're safe._

Manny, somehow, lightens the mood. "Whoo! Those uncut arms, honey!"

Nikita almost laughs.

 

Team Teala returns to the gazebo. Safiya can hear Rosanna muttering their unsolved clue to herself. "Stop and stair...eight sides to feel the air...a romantic place to stop and stair..."

"It's _gotta_ be here!" Matt sounds frustrated. "It's _gotta_ be here!" He picks up a skull. "Do I need to smash this?" He throws it against the ground, but nothing happens. "Nope, that's not it."

The gazebo is the only possible option. They're in the right place. It's just out of sight somewhere, that's all.

Matt and Teala investigate the roof, Rosanna continues to repeat the clue, and Safiya double-checks one of the stairs. Her hands touch wrinkly flesh. "I found it!" She springs to her feet, holding a finger. "I found it."

"Where?" asks Matt.

She doesn't have time for specifics. "I found it. It's right here." That's all the others need to know. Now, they should go back to their hand, put the finger in its proper place, and get their next clue. Hopefully, Manny's group doesn't have _too_ much of a head start.

 

_Fifteen doors on both sides, but in one, a secret resides._

Joey, Manny, Nikita, Colleen, and Calliope are at a building with fifteen doors, just as the clue says. "So we need to figure out how do we get in one," Joey says as he approaches the door. "But in one, a secret resides. We need to get in here!" He tries some of the doors. They're all locked. "Fifteen doors...on both sides...yeah, we just need to get inside..."

But then, his 20/20 vision kicks in yet again, and he spies a finger lodged within one of the doors.

Another gasp escapes his lips. "In here!" He fishes out their prize.

"Omigod." Manny's eyes are wide, but he's grinning. "Joey, you're a genius!"

 _Nah. I'm not a genius. I just have a keen eye._ Joey feels cocky. That's the _second_ finger he found all by himself. Is his group even _helping_ at this point? Is it just him? _Hello?_

 

Safiya puts Team Teala's first finger on their hand. "Have it on?" Matt opens the drawer underneath and pulls out a note. "Is this the next one?" It probably is, so he reads it to his teammates.

_Burn and churn and pour in more._

"Burn and churn..." Matt racks his brain for a explanation, but all he can come up with is "Butter?" _No. That can't be right._

"Burn and churn and pour in more," murmurs Safiya. Then, she sees the Man with No Name, who's back from (presumably) terrorizing the other team. "He's coming, guys!"

Matt, Safiya, Rosanna, Teala, and Mortimer run to a red light. Once they're safe, they bury their collective heads in the clue. Between the four of them, they are a _very_ smart team, and yet, none of them can figure it out. _Churn and burn and pour me some more?_ Matt can't make a lick of sense out of this thing.

 _You know what? Forget it. There are more important prizes in this game._ "Mortimer, is there a separate clue for the pump station?" _We gotta get that Lazarus coin. Not only are Jc and Roi counting on us to save them, but also, it'll let us skip the rest of this gobbledegook and go straight to the final clue._

"The pump station had a code," says Teala. "There was a lock."

"It's worth a shot," Mortimer says with a shrug.

A wave of determination washes over Matt's heart. "Let's do it! Here! Come on!" He charges ahead. The others follow him.

 

"The key's right there," whispers Colleen as Joey slides the second finger into place. "We're _so_ close." They _have_ to win. There's too much at stake for them to lose.

"Hurry!" orders Manny.

Just as the drawer pops open, the Man with No Name returns. "Guys." Nikita looks like she's about to have a coronary. "Omigod, omigod, omigod."

"Quick!" cries Calliope. "Grab it! Swift! Swift! Swift!"

Manny grabs the finger. "Go!"

They run. The monster growls at them. "Omigod," says Nikita, and Colleen feels that on a spiritual level. The Man with No Name is absolutely, categorically _horrifying._

"Guys, what does it say?" Joey yells over the Man with No Name's snarls.

Manny reads it.

_Eighty-eight keys open the door. Its tune will leave you wanting more._

Joey frowns. "What?"

"Eighty-eight keys—"

Joey gasps. "A piano! A piano!"

"Yes!" Manny points to Fat Man Slims, which happens to be nearby. "In this room! There's a piano in here!"

"Good boy," whispers Calliope as the group runs to the pub.

Colleen _loves_ Fat Man Slims. Even if it _was_ a hotbed of clues earlier, it feels secure, like a lighthearted bulwark against the darkness that covers Everlock. She wishes that they could stay here for a while, but she knows they have to finish this hunt.

"There's a piano?" Joey asks as soon as they get inside.

Manny darts into the pole dancing room, finds the piano, and discovers their third and final finger. "Got it." He charges out the door, his teammates hot on his heels.

"Good job, Manny," says Joey.

"Wait, you guys!" exclaims Nikita. "He's coming!"

Colleen pushes everyone in front of her. "Get under the red light. Get under the red light." _We're almost there!_

 

Matt is the first to reach the clue at the pump station. He drops to his knees and reads it.

_There are five hundred coffins and five hundred men who need them. The undertaker asks the first man to go to every coffin and open it. Then, he asks the second man to go to every coffin and close it. The third one goes to every third coffin, and so on. How many are open?_

"Ooh." Matt was not expecting the clue to be _this_ complicated. "That is..."

"A lot," finishes Rosanna.

Matt stands up. "That's pretty intense." As much as he wants to find the Lazarus coin and bring Jc and Roi back from the dead, he can't afford to spent God knows how long on this puzzle when they're so far behind. "Let's not do that one."

 

"Nikita, distract him!" Manny shouts to his friend. "I'm gonna go around! Bring him out!" The Man with No Name is lurking around the area where their hands are, but with a little bit of teamwork, they should be all right. Maybe.

Nikita stands in the middle of the road, a hand on her curvy hips. "Hey, Daddy! Want a piece of this?"

The Man with No Name does, in fact, want a piece of that, seeing as how he immediately zeroes in on Nikita. While that's happening, Manny runs to the hand, inserts the final finger onto its bone, and rummages through the drawer. _A key! A note!_ This is the last clue. He's so close to victory that he can almost taste it.

"Manny, run!"

 _Shit._ The Man with No Name must've given up on Nikita and decided that Manny's a juicier target. Ten-foot-tall monsters are _so_ not Manny's type, so he makes a break for it.

"Wait!" calls Nikita. "You dropped it!"

"Manny, you dropped it!" Joey shrieks.

Well, goddamnit, they're right. He's gone and dropped the key. He can see his obituary now: _Manuel Gutierrez Jr, 1991-1978, died because he had butterfingers and couldn't hold on to a key for more than two seconds._

He goes back for the key. The Man with No Name swings one of his jumbo arms at him, and only by ducking at the right time is he able to escape.

"Omigosh," says Joey.

"Omigosh" could sum up their whole night so far.

 

The Lazarus coin side quest might've been a failure, but they're still here at the pump station, and the sight reminds Teala of their _other_ clue. "Burn!" It all makes sense. Gas burns. "Burn!" It burns when it's used, and it churns in a car's engine, and people pour in more when they fill their tanks. "Burn and churn and pour down more!"

Matt doesn't seem convinced. "But you're not..."

"You pour in more?" mumbles a bewildered Rosanna.

"Pour in more!" Teala's not good with explanations, but she knows that she's on the right track. "Like..."

"But, like, that makes no sense!" Matt gripes.

 _Yes, it does!_ "Burn!"

Matt rolls his eyes. "Okay," he grumbles.

They search the pump station. Teala doesn't like being doubted by her own team, but at least they're listening to her. She's _right._ They'll find the finger, and they'll see that she's right, and they won't call her useless anymore.

Matt finds an empty gas can and tries to shake something out of it. "Churn?" He looks _so_ lost. "Ice cream?"

Rosanna and Teala look through some bottles. "All of these are empty except this one," says Teala.

But it's Safiya who finally finds what they're looking for at the self-service station. "Guys, I found it!" she announces. "I found it! Guys!" She shows the group their second finger.

"Safiya found it," says Mortimer.

 _See?_ thinks Teala. _I_ told _you it was here!_ They have two fingers, but they're _really_ behind, and Teala's not sure if it's too late for them to catch up. She hopes that Team Manny gets stuck on a clue, so that Team Teala can pull off an upset victory.

 

Joey breathlessly reads their final clue.

_I live beneath the faces of the dead. Finding me will get you a step ahead._

There are skulls scattered all over the ground. "Those are faces of the dead!" realizes Manny.

"Guys," says Joey, "look in every skull." _We're on the right track. All we have to do is find this last thing, and immunity is ours._

"There's a skull over here!" remarks Nikita.

_Will we join these skulls by tomorrow morning?_

 

"Go, go, go, go."

Safiya and Matt make it back to the hand. Matt puts the finger next to its finger brother, and the drawer opens once more, revealing their third and last clue. Safiya's curious about who designed this system.

_Round and round and round we go. Where we stop, no one knows._

_That's obvious._ "Carousel." The word pops out of Safiya's mouth as if it's meant to be said.

"Carousel," Matt agrees. "Carousel. Carousel."

"It's the carousel," Safiya tells the others as they arrive. _We have to hurry._

 

 _The things I do to stay alive,_ groans Manny to himself as he searches through a bunch of _actual_ skulls. _These all belonged to people once. We're probably desecrating their burial ground or something like that._

"Joey?" calls out Colleen, who's visibly anxious.

Joey responds with "Just keep looking under the skulls, guys!"

Manny takes a look at the floorboards. They smell _revolting._ He sighs, brushes some leaves aside, and sees something that isn't a leaf. "Omigod." He grabs it. "There's something under here, dude!"

"Did you find it?" Colleen asks.

"Yes." It's a box. He passes it to Colleen. "Hold it." Then, to the others, "Bring the key! Bring the key!" He doesn't remember who he gave the key to.

As it turns out, the answer is Colleen. "I have it! I have the key!"

"Oh, you have the key?"

"Yeah."

The rest of Team Badass Bitch looks on as Colleen unlocks the little box.

 

Rosanna doesn't feel very useful. Maybe it's because she's too short to see what's going on, or maybe it's because she just doesn't measure up to the standards set by Matt and Safiya, but either way, she _knows_ she's weak. If they lose, there's a good chance that the others will send her into the challenge, which frightens her. She doesn't want to die. Then again, she doesn't want any of her friends to die, either.

 _Why did any of this have to happen?_ her heart cries as they search the carousel. _Why were we forced into such an awful situation?_

"Round and round and round we go." Matt's still trying to figure things out, which is one of the things Rosanna loves about him. He _never_ gives up. "It's like a riddle. There's _so_ many places it could be on this thing!

Rosanna hears a familiar growl. "Guys, he's coming back. He's coming back."

"All right, he's coming," says Safiya.

"Shoot!" Matt scowls. "Shoot!"

"He's coming back pretty quick," Safiya observes.

As they flee the carousel, Rosanna fixates on the clue. "Round and round and round we go, where it stops..." _I don't know._

 

Inside the box are four gemstones. "Here's the gems." Colleen's eyes twinkle with joy. "We won!"

"We won!"

"We won!"

"We _won!"_

 _Omigod._ Manny's seen a lot of beautiful things, but right now, the happiness on his friends' faces is the most beautiful thing in the world. _We did it! We actually pulled this off! We won! We're not gonna die! Team Badass Bitch is gonna last forever!_

Okay, yeah, they _might_ not last forever, but they'll last another hour, and that's all that matters to him.

They make a run for the arcade. Once they're there, they celebrate as a team should: with cheers, hugs, and friendship. "We did it, guys!" rejoices Joey as he and Manny hug each other.

"You guys!" Manny's smiling so hard that his mouth is in danger of tearing his face apart. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" Colleen and Nikita join the party. Manny, in his position as team captain, knows just what to do. "Come on! Group hug!"

The four of them hold each other close in a giant ball of triumph. For one shining moment, everyone's hearts beat as one.

Calliope looks at them through gentle eyes. "Congratulations."

The group hug reluctantly breaks apart. Nikita smiles softly at Manny, and Manny feels like he's floating on the fluffiest cloud in the universe. "Team Badass Bitch!" He sees Calliope. "You too, honey! Come on! We're a hugger!" He embraces her. She seems happier than she's ever been.

"You killed it, Calliope!" says Nikita.

Manny beams. They _made_ it. They won the challenge. They saved each other. It's an ending straight out of a fairytale.

 

"Guys," says Mortimer to Team Teala, "looks like the other group finished."

His words crush Teala's lungs in an iron grip of despair. _That's it. They won. There goes my last chance at life._ She's up for death, and since everyone hates her, the odds of her _not_ being chosen are a thousand to one.

Not only that, but she's put her teammates in danger. Safiya saved her life. Matt and Rosanna believed in her. Now, she's let them all down, and if, by some miracle, _she_ doesn't die, one of _them_ will.

_I'm sorry, guys. I'm so sorry. I wish I could've been a better captain. I wish I didn't let it end this way._

The defeated team enters the arcade, where the winning team waits for them. Manny, Nikita, Joey, Colleen, and Calliope all say hello.

"So you guys found the stones?" There's an edge of anger in Safiya's voice.

"Yeah," Manny replies. "We have all four."

The members of Team Teala offer Team Manny their congratulations. Teala feels hollow as "congrats" slips off her tongue. _Congrats, everyone. Your prize is finally getting to kill me off._

"So I guess that means that you guys are up for vote," says Joey.

"Yeah," grumbles Safiya. "That _is_ what that means."

Matt smiles sorrowfully. "That's how the rules go."

_The last gem can only be recovered by learning the name of the man without one. Two must be selected by vote to enter his toxic lair and steal it from him._

Joey glances at the four gems they have. "There's still one more gem we need."

"Yeah." Matt's hands are in his pockets. "The big one in the center. So, shall we lounge it up?"

A hint of pity flickers in Manny's eyes. "Let's go vote."

Eight guests return to the lounge. Every step Teala takes is a step closer to her death, and she knows it. _I'm doomed._ She remembers Jc's calm smile and Roi's bright eyes. _I'm going to die like they did._

She wonders what Sierra thinks of her now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: ~~Team Manny~~ Team Badass Bitch is safe, but Team Teala's lives are on the line. Who will be sent to face the Man with No Name? Also, Matt does the splits, and Teala follows the example of a _different_ Matt.


	23. Defeated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teala, Matt, Safiya, and Rosanna have lost the scavenger hunt. Two of them must be sent to fight, and one of them must die.

Safiya is angry. She and Matt solved two out of three clues together, but they didn't get a lot of help on that front, and now, their names are up for the new death challenge. If Safiya dies because of this, she's going to lodge a formal complaint with whoever's in charge around here.

Her face is blank, but her hands tremble as she sits down with the rest of her team. She thinks of Tyler. She wonders if she'll ever see him again.

Manny places four obsidian gemstones at the foot of the Statue of Era. Only one—the big blood gem in the middle—is missing. That's the prize of their next challenge. That's the thing that someone must die for.

"All righty," says Colleen. "Tell us how it was for you guys out there. We have to decide who to vote for. This isn't gonna be easy."

Joey flounces in his seat. "Plead your case to us!"

Matt goes first. "I think my record speaks for itself throughout this game," he says in a calm yet slightly nervous tone of voice. "I've been committed to saving Everlock."

"True," says Joey.

"I've been committed to ending the Carnival Master," Matt continues. "I've been there, front of the line, solving puzzles. Last—"

Colleen interrupts him with a smile. "Time's up, honey."

It's Safiya's turn. "I feel like, for this challenge, I sort of pulled my weight. First clue...I feel like I knew it was the gazebo right away. I found both of our fingers." She feels like a robot, rattling off her list of accomplishments in an emotionless voice. _I'm useful,_ she reminds herself. _As long as I'm useful, they can't hurt me._

 

Teala can feel everyone's cold, cruel eyes examining her like she's a sentient piece of mud. There's no point in pleading her case. They don't care what she has to say. They're going to send her to her death no matter what, so why bother?

"I know that I didn't put my weight into this challenge," she admits, "so it's kinda hard for me to go in and plead my case for this."

"Do you wanna just volunteer yourself at this point?" asks Nikita.

 _Maybe._ Volunteering herself _would_ spare her the pain of being forced to risk her life by her so-called friends. But her survival instincts, while squashed into a small shadow of what they once were, are still there. She still wants to live. She just knows that she won't.

"I just..."

_I'm sorry I wasn't good enough._

"I'd rather leave it at that, to be honest."

 

Rosanna is the last to defend herself, but she's struggling to think of something to say. "I care about everybody. I have a few limitations. I'm a little smaller, so when we're all together, and we're all crowding around, I _genuinely_ can't see."

_Really, Ro? You shouldn't die because you're short? Worst. Defense. Ever._

Honestly, maybe it _should_ be her. She doesn't _want_ it to be her, but it wouldn't be fair to send in Matt or Safiya when they both did so much. It might be better for her to just go in now and take her chances against the Man with No Name.

On the other hand, she _really_ doesn't want to die. So there's that.

 

Matt _hates_ being in danger. He can't stop thinking about everyone back home—Stephanie, his parents, his friends, and, of course, little Ollie, who he hasn't even met yet. Lazarus theories aside, he _can't_ leave them.

_But what if it's Ro who dies instead?_

His spirit almost shatters at the thought.

"Even though I feel like you guys have everything stacked against you," remarks Nikita, "what's most hurting..."

Manny finishes her sentence for her. "You're defeated," he says, and he's right.

"You're defeated," echoes Nikita.

Manny nods. "And we need fighters."

All of a sudden, Matt remembers a talent that he possesses. "If we are looking at physical prowess, I _can_ do the splits." He's aware of how silly it sounds— _Please don't kill me! I can do the splits!_ —but it's worth a shot.

"Prove it!" orders Colleen.

"Wow." Joey looks intrigued. "We wanna see this."

"Don't rip your pants!" shout both Manny and Nikita.

"Here we go." Matt gets up. "I hope I will not rip these pants." He executes a perfect split. "There we go. Pretty good!"

"Oh, nice!" says Teala.

Safiya claps, clearly taken aback by Matt's skills. "Oh, wow."

Rosanna beams with pride.

"Not bad?" Matt turns to Team Manny while still maintaining his position. "Not bad?"

"Okay!" cheers an impressed Colleen.

Nikita raises an eyebrow.

Manny looks like Christmas came early. "She's _limber!"_

"You've earned my vote!" exclaims Joey, but he soon corrects himself. "I mean, _not_ my vote."

"It is now time to vote," announces Calliope, because apparently, the mere mention of the word "vote" is enough to start the process. "Only people from the losing team will be displayed. Are you ready?"

"Yes," Joey replies.

Calliope gestures to Matt, who's currently unsplitting himself. "Start with you."

If Matt was scared before, he's even _more_ scared now. Only four faces are in front of him, and his _own_ face is among the four. Yeah, he's done a lot to help the team, but who knows? No one is safe in Everlock. Jc proved it.

As he votes for Teala, the words _what if_ are the only thing on his mind.

 

Safiya, of course, casts her vote for the Super Spy. Out of the four of them, Teala's the obvious choice.

 _It would be_ crazy _for them to put me in this challenge,_ hisses a voice in her mind as she sits back down. _The group needs me._ She tries her best to believe it.

 

"No hard feelings," Teala murmurs to Rosanna before she goes up to vote. _Goodbye, Ro. Thanks for being my friend._

She has a _very_ strong likelihood of death. Her name has been brought up on every single challenge so far, and since this one has so few possibilities, she's pretty much _guaranteed_ to be one of the two chosen. She's been getting very lucky, but luck can only last for so long.

But she's still not broken enough to vote for herself, and that's why she selects a Jet Setter card. Rosanna Pansino is the only one that she might be able to beat.

 

Rosanna senses that people want to send _her_ into the challenge. She doesn't want to go, of course, but it's too late to change anyone's mind. All she can do is smile and hope for the best. That's all she's really good at, anyway.

She picks a Super Spy card, slips it to Calliope, and chuckles sadly. "See you soon, girl," she whispers. "See you soon."

Calliope smiles affectionately at Rosanna as the latter returns to her seat.

 

Colleen wants Teala _gone._ The poor thing didn't even bother to plead her case! It's like she doesn't even _care_ anymore! Really, they should've put her out of her misery _ages_ ago, instead of killing off Jc and Roi.

However, when it comes time for Colleen to vote, she doesn't vote for Teala. Instead, she passes a Detective card to Calliope. If they put Matt up against Teala, Matt will win. He's _Matt._ He's the smartest guy in the group. He'll beat that useless Spy _easily._

 _I'm doing the right thing._ She hums to herself as she walks back to the couch. _This is the best way to ensure that Teala doesn't last another round._

 

Teala Dunn is going to die. Manny knows this like he knows the back of his hand. She might've squeaked past the first two challenges, but she's too big of a target to escape death a third time.

It would be easy to vote for her, but…he doesn't _want_ to. Neither of his votes so far have led to people's deaths, and he wants to keep his streak going for as long as he can. Rosanna is also a no-no. She's too defeated. If they're going to escape the night, they need her cheerful little self back in the game. That leaves Safiya and Matt as possible Teala-killers.

One quick game of eenie-meenie-miney-mo later, he picks Matt. _Sorry, sweetheart. It's only cause I know you'll make it back. No hard feelings, okay? Still love you._

 

Nikita wants to give the kiss of death to homegirl Teala. For _real_ this time. Sure, the girl has a great outfit, but _really, girl? You're not contributing anything to the group! You won't even tell us why you should stick around!_

The Troublemaker votes, takes a breath, and walks away. She's getting good at this.

 

For the third time, Joey's voting for Teala.

Huh.

Third time.

_How is she still alive?!?_

 

"I will now shuffle and draw two." Calliope rattles off her usual spiel like it's been hardwired into her brain. "Good luck."

"I'm really scared," Teala mutters to Rosanna. She might've given up, but she doesn't want to let go. She wants to survive. She wants to go home to 2018, reunite with her friends and family, and burn this horrible town out of her heart.

"The first one into the challenge is..."

_"In the movies, there's always a point where things look super dark, and everyone loses hope, but then, things get better. This is that point!"_

"Omigod." Now that she thinks about it, she's not dead yet. Does that mean she still has a chance?

"The Super Spy."

_No. I don't. He was wrong._

 

"The second one..."

Since Teala's already been selected, the only remaining options are Rosanna, Matt, and Safiya. Rosanna doesn't know how to feel. Should she wish for her own safety? Should she pray for her two friends? What's the right thing to do? Why do they keep doing this?

"The Jet Setter."

 _Oh, well._ She shrugs. _At least it's not Saf or Matt._ "We're gonna find his name," she says to Teala, as if they're going on a harmless walk to find a creature's name, as if there's no reason to be afraid at all.

 

Matt wasn't picked, and he's grateful for it, but _oh, God! Ro!_ His head falls into his hands. _Ro's going into the challenge! The_ death _challenge! And I can't protect her! What am I going to do?_

In a way, it's all _his_ fault. If he hadn't wasted so much time on the Lazarus coin puzzle, they would've won, and none of this would've happened.

"Maybe by going through this process, you'll find that fire," suggests Nikita. She should know. She's the only one in the group who's won a challenge all by herself.

"Mm-hm," says Manny.

Rosanna also mumbles "mm-hm." She wears a brave face, but Matt can see unhappiness and fear in her big brown eyes. He wants to hold her close to his chest and keep her away from the Man with No Name, but he can't. He has no choice but to let her go.

The girls depart for death. Rosanna mouths "I love you" to Matt on her way out. Matt keeps his eyes on her until she's gone, then squeezes them shut. _Dear God, please watch over Ro tonight. Please bring her back to me. As for Teala..._ He almost cries. _Have mercy on her soul._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Teala and Rosanna embark on one last scavenger hunt, from which one of them will never return.


	24. Won't You Guess My Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosanna and Teala face off against the Man with No Name. Which girl will return to the group with new determination, and which girl will become another name to add to the death quota?

The Man with No Name's lair is the spookiest thing that Rosanna's ever seen, and she's seen a _lot_ of spooky things tonight. There are bones everywhere. The whole area is covered in a thick blanket of green fog. Everything about it screams _monster, danger, run away._

To put it bluntly, this is no place for a scared little girl to die.

"Oh, there's a bridge," says Rosanna. The bridge is the only thing that separates the girls from the foggy mess of a lair. But before they cross into harm's way, they have to read the instructions.

_There are two sets of eight letters hidden throughout the lair that spell the name of the Man with No Name: one red and one yellow. The first to find their set and arrange them must call out his name. They will then receive the blood gem, and the other will be strangled._

Rosanna frowns. So, in this challenge, they need to run around, find all the letters, and figure out what this guy's name is. Whoever does that first gets to call him by name, and then, they'll live. The loser will die. Rosanna doesn't want to die, but she's not sure if she's up for completing this dark, creepy Easter egg hunt.

 _My friends are waiting for me,_ she remembers. _They'll be sad if I die. Especially Matt. I can't do that to him._

 

"All right, ladies." Mortimer stares off into the distance, his hands in his pockets. "You ready?"

 _No,_ Teala almost says, but she knows that it doesn't matter if she's ready or not. She _has_ to do this. Or, at least, she has to _try._ It was easy for her to give up back in the lounge, when the danger was so far away, but now that the Man with No Name's domain is right in front of her eyes, she's overcome with the desire to get the hell out of here. It's not hope that motivates her. It's terror.

Besides, her opponent is Rosanna, so she has better odds than she would've had against Safiya or Matt. Teala doesn't _want_ her friend to be strangled by a monster, but this town doesn't care what she wants, so _better Ro than me._

Mortimer's voice distracts her from her thoughts. "Teala, you remember, you're yellow."

"I'm yellow," Teala repeats.

"Ro, you're red."

"I'm red!" chirps Rosanna obediently.

 _Shouldn't_ I _be red and_ she _be yellow?_ Teala thinks. _My coat is red, and her hat is yellow. I think someone messed up the colors._

Mortimer nods. "Approach the bridge."

The girls whimper, hold hands, and walk to the bridge. Teala tries to ignore the Man with No Name.

 

"Good luck," says Mortimer, and the girls take off running.

Rosanna's platform Oxfords thump against the bridge. "Come on, girl," she says to Teala. Even though they're against each other, as far as Rosanna is concerned, they're still friends. Not even the Man with No Name can make them stop being friends.

"Okay," Teala whispers, but there's a whiff of fright in her voice.

As they cross the bridge, Rosanna looks behind her, and she sees Calliope whisper something to Mortimer. Just as she wonders what they're talking about, the challenge begins.

Rosanna starts sniffing around for tiles. "Red," she murmurs. "Red." This fog is _thick!_ She can't see _anything!_ She has to move like the Man with No Name does: sweeping her arms back and forth, fanning the green mist out of her way. She feels silly.

The Man with No Name is on the prowl. He attacks Rosanna by swinging one of his long arms at her. She screams and runs away from him, panting out tiny breaths of air as she flees into the fog. _Please don't let him get me..._

 

While the Man with No Name is preoccupied with Rosanna, Teala searches the ground for yellow tiles. Her bronze jumpsuit feels cold against her skin. She races through the mist, gasping for air, trying not to think about how disappointed the others will be if she survives.

She sees something on the ground and picks it up. It's a tile with the letter I on it, and it's yellow. _She's_ yellow.

 _Okay. Okay. I found one. I'm a step ahead of her. Maybe I_ don't _have to die here._

She checks to make sure the Man with No Name is still distracted, goes to a pair of wooden tables, and puts her tile down on one of them. The I appears to shimmer in the darkness of the night. Teala thinks of everyone who loves her, and she keeps going.

 

Rosanna's found her first tile. "Okay," she puffs. The red N seems so small in her hands.

The Man with No Name goes for her again, so she runs, screaming all the way. She's still screaming when she lays her tile against her table. _Seven to go._ She calms her heart by listening for the wind. What she hears instead is a familiar voice.

_"Maybe by going through this process, you'll find that fire."_

She hopes that Nikita's right.

 

The smog stings Teala's eyes, making them teary. As she picks up her second yellow tile, she catches sight of Rosanna hiding behind a tree, and she curses herself for putting them both in this situation. _If she dies, it's my fault,_ whispers her conscience, _and if_ I _die, that's my fault as well._

Her crisis of guilt is interrupted by the Man with No Name, who growls as he marches towards her. She screams, makes a run for the table, and places her N down once she gets there. That done, she joins Rosanna behind the tree. They run back out together.

"Oh," gulps Rosanna. "Oh, no. Oh, no."

_Oh, Ro. I couldn't have said it better myself._

 

Rosanna bites her lip. Teala's ahead of her by one tile, which is worrying, but _I still have a_ chance, _don't I?_

A red J lies near her left foot. She takes it and sets it down next to her first letter. _There you go, N,_ her mind chuckles. _Now you have a friend. Now you don't have to be alone anymore._ She sighs. She wishes Matt was here, but at the same time, she doesn't.

The way back into the fog is being guarded by the Man with No Name. Rosanna tries to sneak past him. "Ooh." She imitates his movements. "Ooh. Ooh-ooh."

Unfortunately for her, the Man with No Name doesn't seem to think that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. He roars at her. She sees him, shrieks, and makes a break for it, but not before a giant monster arm whacks her on the back.

From there, it's not long before Rosanna finds the third red tile. "Okay." The A goes with the others. _Look at that! Now we have a party!_

 

Teala _finally_ finds her third tile. Once it's with the first two, she cowers behind a tree and attempts to give herself a pep talk. _You're doing fine, Teala. You have three. Five more, and you'll make it out alive._

But then, she looks over, and she notices that Rosanna has three as well. They're neck-and-neck. Teala _needs_ to step up her game if she wants to live.

After a quick search through the mist, she finds Tile #4. So does Rosanna. They place their tiles down at the same time. _This was so much easier when Sophia was doing all the work,_ mutters Teala's exhaustion. She trots back into the fog.

 

Whenever Rosanna is _really_ scared, she likes to sing a song in her head to make herself feel better about things. So that's what she does now.

 _Cause you and me, we make each other better,_ her brain sings as she works. _We may not be perfect, but we're perfect together. You and me, we'll make it through whatever. We may not be perfect, but we're perfect together._

"Yes!" Her fingers curl around a tile. "I found another one! Okay! Okay!"

_Da-da-da. Da-da-da-da, da-da-da. Da-da-da-da, da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da._

 

"I don't know what to do!" Teala stresses. "This is _so_ difficult!" She's struggling to spot glimpses of yellow within the green, but there's too much green! It's everywhere! It's blurring her vision! It's like green is the only color that _exists!_

_Yellow. Yellow. Must find yellow. Yellow, like the sun, like Ro's hat, like that dress I wore to Kian's party last week, like all the bright and beautiful things in the world. Yellow makes me happy. I want to be happy again._

But can _anything_ bright and beautiful survive a place like this?

Rosanna's found another tile. That's her _sixth_ one. "Uh-oh," says the little Jet Setter as she avoids another assault by the Man with No Name.

 _Uh-oh is right!_ Teala panics. _Ro has six tiles, and I still only have four!_ "Oh, no!" A sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach tells her that she's not going to make it out of the green.

 

"Where haven't I looked?" ponders Rosanna, scratching her head. "Maybe over here!" She scurries over there, and sure enough, there is a tile. "This is the last time I wear platform Oxfords," she announces to no one in particular as she scrambles back to her table.

She counts her tiles in hushed tones. "Seven!" she shouts once she's done. _One more!_

"Omigod!" moans Teala. "I'm behind by three!"

The last spot of yellow is quickly snatched up by Rosanna. One noisy run back to her table later, she rearranges her eight letters. "I...A...M...J..." The name of the Man Without One becomes crystal clear. "Benjamin!" She points at him. "Benjamin! That's your name! Benjamin!"

Benjamin—for that _is_ his name, and he is the Man with No Name no more—groans. A nearby case opens, revealing the blood gem inside.

Teala freezes in place. "Omigod!"

Rosanna recovers the blood gem. "I got it!" She smiles. "I did!" For a second, she forgets about what her victory means for Teala, and she turns to show her friend her prize. Then, the cruel reality of their situation hits her like a shot through the heart.

 

 _I knew it._ Teala's throat feels dry with despair. _I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew she'd beat me. I knew I'd lose. I knew, and now, it's over._

Benjamin turns to face her. White-hot fear seizes her soul in its unholy grip. "Stay back!" she pleads. "Stop!" Her rubber legs can't run away. Her voice is broken, but even now, she's desperate not to die.

The creature's powerful arms trap her neck between them. She screams as he crushes her windpipe. He blows green gas into her face, and it _burns,_ like a coat of acid instead of foundation. As she fights for air, her twenty-one years of life flash before her eyes. Her family. Her channel. Her squad, both dead and alive. Her pretty little apartment that she'll never finish redecorating. Her plans for a successful future. All gone now.

"Let go!" she barely manages to cry out before what's left of her breath is stolen from her. The world spins like a top. The pain of death gives way to a delirious state of mind. She feels like she's starting to float out of her body.

 _Maybe I should just keep floating,_ her oxygen-deprived body mumbles incoherently. _Maybe it would be nice to float away._

She closes her eyes.

 

Rosanna doesn't run. How could she? Teala Dunn is _dying._ Rosanna loves her too much to let her die alone.

But soon enough, Benjamin finishes Teala off, drops her green-faced corpse on the ground, and begins to lumber towards Rosanna. _That's_ when she runs. She Jet Sets into the murky night, and she doesn't look back.

"Come on!" calls Calliope from the other side of the bridge.

"Hurry!" Mortimer holds out the artifact for her. "Place the stone!"

Rosanna darts across the bridge and slides the blood gem into the Statue of Era. It glows with green light. Benjamin roars one last time, then dissolves into a cloud of smoke.

A thousand different emotions parade across the spirit of Rosanna Pansino. Teala's _dead._ She died right in front of her. She's never coming back. Rosanna's lost another friend, and her heart is broken because of it.

And yet...she _did_ it. She lived. She proved herself. She fought for her life, and she came out on top. It's like someone lit an unquenchable flame in the deepest part of her belly. Now, that flame burns within her, nourishing her, encouraging her, pushing her to survive this awful night.

Nikita was right. Rosanna's found her fire. It's time for her to break the news to her friends.

 

Matt can't stop sweating. The girls have been gone long enough for Safiya, Colleen, and Manny to take turns using the restroom. Safiya was the quickest of the three, Colleen went while complaining of a stomachache, and as for Manny, Matt strongly suspects that the Record Producer didn't actually have to go and only went to apply a new coat of lip gloss. At any rate, all of them are back now.

Rosanna and Teala, however, aren't.

_What if Ro dies?_

Matt smothers the thought. She'll come back. He can't imagine a world where she doesn't come back.

They hear footsteps. Matt's grown accustomed to the sound of footsteps over the past twenty minutes, but this time, everyone else is here, so it _must_ be whoever survived the challenge. _Let it be Ro let it be Ro let it be—_

In walks a small brunette with a yellow hat.

Of course, Matt's the first to see her, and it feels like an enormous weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He gasps. The others look up, and they, too, behold the winner.

"Ro!"

"You did it!"

"Omigod!"

"Good job!"

Rosanna exhales. She holds the Statue of Era in her arms. Matt's bursting with happiness at the sight of his best friend. _Ro's back! She made it! She survived! I'm not gonna lose her after all!_

"You did it, babe!" cheers Manny.

"What happened?" asks Colleen.

Matt _has_ to know. "How was it?"

That cheerful, sweet, familiar smile returns to Rosanna's face, like an old friend paying a visit once again. "I'm a fighter." Her lingering words are promises in the air.

"That's right," says Manny proudly.

"Yeah," agrees Safiya. "You are."

"And I'm gonna stick it out," the new champion continues. "Till the end!" She beams at her happy friends.

Everyone claps. "Yes," says Joey in an encouraging tone of voice. "We're _so_ proud of you."

"How Rosanna got her groove back!" Matt exclaims. He's glad to see that the defeated girl from twenty minutes ago has been replaced by a confident (though still _very_ kind) warrior. _I was wrong. I don't need to protect her. She can protect herself. We're fighters, both of us, and we'll fight the night as one._

 

"Okay." Rosanna walks over to the display cabinets. "Here?" She chooses a cabinet that's slightly below the other two, and she puts the Statue of Era in its new home on the wall. Her gaze travels to her friends for approval.

"Great," says Matt. "Looks great."

"Just my height," Rosanna jokes, which provokes a round of laughter from the group.

Joey grins. "Ro, you did it."

Out of the corner of her eye, Rosanna notices Calliope slip Teala Dunn's card into the ticket box. No one else pays any attention to the Super Spy's final farewell. _Goodbye, Teala,_ thinks Rosanna. _I won't forget you._

Matt waves her to them. "Get over here! Come on!"

"Come on," says Manny. "Give us hugs."

Well, Rosanna _adores_ hugs, and she could _really_ use a few right now, so she joins the rest of the group. "That was so scary," she squeaks. Matt's arms envelop her, as do Safiya's, and Rosanna feels safe at last.

 

Safiya and Matt are the first to hug Rosanna. Manny, Nikita, Colleen, and Joey join in shortly afterwards. As Safiya holds her friends close, she makes a mental promise to take care of them as best she can. They deserve it.

Once the celebration's over, they realize they messed up.

"Did you find any coins while you were in there?" Colleen asks Rosanna.

"No," Rosanna admits. "We didn't find any coins." She gestures to the Lazarus box. "Did we lose our chance of opening this?"

"I hope not, because I really think it could help us out," says Safiya, who's watching Matt examine the box.

Manny winces. "I really, _really_ hope not."

This whole part of the night has been _super_ frustrating for Safiya. Her group didn't finish finding their stones. They didn't get the coin for the Lazarus box. _Will we_ ever _get another chance to find that coin?_

"All right." Matt is now leaning against the box. He looks upset. "Cause it was at the pumps."

"No one got the extra challenge at the pumps," remarks Safiya.

Joey shakes his head. "We didn't even _try!"_

Matt takes a closer look. "So is this locked forever?" There's something in his troubled voice that tells Safiya that he, more than anyone else, wants what's inside. Perhaps he knows something they don't.

Safiya tucks her hair behind her ears. There's still work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Teala. At least they can't pick on you anymore.  
> Next chapter: Joey is acting weird again. Also, Colleen begins to channel her inner GloZell, and everyone prepares themselves for the physical portion of the night.


	25. Move Towards the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teala's joined Jc and Roi in death, but what the heck is going on with Joey?

"I have to go to the bathroom," says Joey all of a sudden.

"You have to _what?"_ Colleen raises an eyebrow. "Why didn't you go when everyone else was going?"

But the Savant is already halfway out the door. "I didn't have to go then, and I do now. Excuse me." He vanishes before anyone else can object.

 _What the hell?_ Colleen facepalms. _We just lost_ another _member of our rapidly shrinking group, we only have till sunrise before we_ all _die, and you, our fearless leader, the one who brought us here in the first place, deal with this by...taking a pee break? Something's not right._

 

Joey doesn't know where he's going. He doesn't know _why_ he's going. All he knows is that he needs to go.

_Shane Dawson, poisoned. Andrea Brooks, gassed to death. Justine Ezarik, buried alive. GloZell Green, killed by a murder journal. Sierra Furtado, died during an exorcism. Matt Haag, poisoned. Timothy DeLaGhetto, shot himself. Lele Pons, electrocuted._

He walks in a daze through the carnival, past empty popcorn machine and abandoned booths, following nothing. It's like he's been hypnotized. All he feels are his sins crawling down his back. All he hears are their names.

_Lauren Riihimaki, eaten by vampires. Jesse Wellens, eaten by Jorogumo. DeStorm Power, shot with an arrow. Liza Koshy, throat slit. Tana Mongeau, stomach sliced open. Gabbie Hanna, heart ripped out. Alison, torn apart by werewolves. Alex Wassabi, stabbed to death._

There's a bridge in front of him. It's the one with the cardboard cutout of the demon's face, the one that leads to the church, the one he saw when he died. Come to think of it, he's _still_ dead. Maybe this is all a dying dream.

_Jc Caylen, stabbed to death. Roi Fabito, poisoned by the Snake Woman. Teala Dunn, strangled._

Those names weren't there before.

He can see the church in the distance. Are the man and the woman still waiting for him? Are they proud of him for what he's done?

Darkness is coming from the church. _The Carnival Master,_ is Joey's last realization before his mind goes completely blank. He stares straight ahead of him, his eyes swirling, his head empty, without any thoughts or feelings whatsoever, as if the bridge, the church, and the darkness are all that matters in the world.

 

It's been ten minutes, and Joey's _still_ not back yet. Colleen shakes her head. _Not even_ I _took this long in the bathroom,_ she gripes to herself, _and I was_ actually _sick._

They're in the arcade. Everyone's split off into tiny groups. Matt's sitting on the pinball machine, deep in conversation with the recently victorious Rosanna. Manny and Nikita are chatting over a game of air hockey. As for Colleen, she's investigating the Lazarus box, as is Safiya. "What do you think's in there?" the Investigative Reporter questions.

Colleen doesn't know, but she knows that if they can open it, something good might happen. "Hey, guys. Come here. I need to talk to you, please." She waves her friends over. They reluctantly abandon their conversations and air hockey games to hear what she has to say. "We're running out of time, and this box is the only thing we know so far that might help us out. We need to figure out how to open this thing, and the only clue that we have is these coins, this shape. It's the same thing that was on Joey's book bag before we got to this hellhole."

"Yes," says Nikita.

Not only is that symbol on the box and the bag, but it's _also_ on the map that's been guiding them through town. It _means_ something. It _must_ mean something. And since Joey had it on his bag at the beginning of the night...

Colleen's faith in Joey is fading faster than the mist that covered Everlock not long ago.

"It's been really weird! All those bathroom breaks?" Manny makes air quotes around the words "bathroom breaks," and Colleen can tell that he doesn't believe Joey's bullshit any more than she does. "Where you going, bitch?"

"Also, every single time we ask him about this, he's _super_ sketchy about it," adds Matt. "Oh, it's the _Society_ that found out about this..."

"Oh, _yeah,"_ Manny agrees.

Joey and Colleen have been friends for years. They've hung out together, they've collabed together, they've appeared at VidCon together...hell, he was Miranda's _bae_ for crying out loud. She missed him when he disappeared. She loved him. She _wants_ to keep loving him. But she can't shake the feeling that he's not telling them something.

 _You better spill the beans soon, baby boo,_ she thinks desperately. _I'd give the world to be able to trust you again._

 

Everyone else is feeling suspicious of Joey, but Rosanna's feeling concerned. Did something happen to him? Did he get kidnapped? What's going on?

"It's time that we get some answers," says Matt. "Let's go find Joey."

Several people respond with "I agree," and off they trot on a Joey hunt. Rosanna feels like a mama kangaroo whose Joey escaped her pouch. _Joey! Where are you, Joey? You're not hurt, are you? Please come back to us!_

At first, they have no luck, but after a few minutes, Colleen spots something. "You guys! You guys! You guys!" She points at the bridge. "There's a person standing over there."

Rosanna looks at where Colleen's pointing, and she breathes a sigh of relief. She'd recognize that platinum blonde hair and red 70s ascot anywhere. "It's Joey!"

 

Joey's at a creepy-ass bridge in front of a creepy-ass cemetery, gazing into the void like it'll gaze back. _You're trying it, bitch. You're_ actually _trying._ Manny has the right mind to beat his ass right here.

"Joey, what are you doing?" Colleen demands to know.

Half the group calls Joey's name. He doesn't answer. It's like he can't even _hear_ them. To make matters weirder, a spiral of darkness is swirling towards him, and he's not reacting at all.

"He's staring at the freakin' demonial," observes Manny. He's so nervous that he accidentally combines the words "demon" and "spiral" into one.

Rosanna bites her lip. "That's not normal."

 _You're right, sweetheart. It's not._ Manny's beginning to think that an intervention might be in order. Maybe he _should_ beat Joey's ass. At least it'll wake him up.

 

 _All of this is your fault,_ someone growls in Joey's ear as he sinks deeper and deeper into his trance. _Your friends are dead because of you. More will die soon enough. You can't save anyone, poor boy, so why not just surrender?_

"Joey!"

A girl's voice breaks through the nothingness. For a moment, he thinks it's Justine Ezarik, back from her premature burial to bring him to the light, but when he turns around, only Colleen Ballinger is there.

 

Colleen swears she can see spirals stop spinning in Joey's eyes. "Jesus," she says, "you scared me. What are you doing?" _Are you all right? Are you still the Joey Graceffa I knew before, or has the darkness destroyed you? Tell me. I need to know._

"What are you doing over here?" asks Safiya.

"Uh-oh," gulps Rosanna. "Colleen?"

Joey points to the church. "That's where the darkness is coming from. That's where the Carnival Master is."

"How do you _know_ that there's evil coming from over there?" is Manny's question.

"I've been there before," Joey admits in a small voice.

Rosanna looks shocked. "You've been to _this_ town before?"

"In a _dream,_ or physically, honey?" snaps Manny. "We need some more facts."

Joey avoids the question. "Like I said before, this mission was given to me by the Society Against Evil. I've helped them in the past, and they asked for my help again, which is why we're all here." He's not believable at all. He sounds like he's reading lines from a script.

Colleen's a smart girl. She sees _right through_ Joey and his Society Against Bullshit. "If you've been here before," she counters, her eyes flashing, "and you saw us at the seance—"

"I don't know how I got here!"

"—and then you came back, you know how to get out." She doesn't believe for _one second_ that he "doesn't know how" he got here. _He was gone for nine months! He_ must've _figured it out! He sure knew how to get here when he had_ us _with him!_

"I don't know how I left," insists Joey, "but I did."

Lies. All lies. Does he think she's _stupid?_ He _has_ to know the way home! Why isn't he telling them? Does he _want_ them to die? Does he want _her_ to die? Does he care?

_I've lost him._

 

Nikita throws up her hands. "That's a _lot_ of IDKs, okay? You know what? I'm over this. This isn't helping _any_ of us right now. Let's just go back to the map. That's the only thing we have to go off of." _If you want to stare at a damn church, Joey, be my guest, but_ I'm _doing what I have to do to get back to 2018. Those artifacts won't cleanse themselves._

Joey nods. "Yeah."

"Something has changed on the map!"

This outburst startles Nikita, but it turns out to be Calliope, who's carrying the map. She jostles her way to the front of the group.

"You brought the map," says Manny. "Okay. Calliope coming through, honey."

Nikita bristles from Calliope's scare. "Omigod! Sneaking up on people like that!" Yeah, Calliope is mysterious and all, but can she _not?_

On the map, in addition to all the crap that was there before, is a police station, another carnival tent, and, of course, another stupid message. "This town has had police the _entire_ time?!?" exclaims Matt, clearly put out that no one told him this. "What are we _doing_ here?"

Honestly, Nikita would rather deal with clowns again then go back to jail (allegedly), so she'd better not cause _too_ much trouble during this task.

 

 _Seriously?_ Matt rolls his eyes. _If Everlock has a police force, why can't_ they _protect the town? Why do they need a bunch of YouTubers to do their jobs for them?_

Colleen reads the message.

_You think you're stronger than me, kid? I'm stronger than ten men. I'm strong like a demon. Come to the show and prove your strength._

Well, _someone_ needs an attitude adjustment.

"I'll be able to speak—" Matt begins, but he never finishes.

"Step right up! Step right up!"

It's not Calliope this time, nor is it any of them. Instead, it's an old, white-haired carnie with a raspy voice. She's standing outside one of the big tents, so that's where they go.

The carnie smiles, showing off her missing teeth. "Y'all here to see the Strong Man, huh?"

"Yeah," Nikita replies. "Is he a _nice_ Strong Man?"

"You gon' find out, aren't you, cutie?" the carnie spits at her.

 _Yeah._ Matt has a bad feeling about this, but then again, everything in Everlock gives him a bad feeling. _I guess we will._

 

The carnie tells them to "step inside." They follow her instructions, because even though she's a bit crass, she doesn't _seem_ like a monster. Then again, Joey's known a lot of monsters who didn't seem like monsters at first. Including himself. So he's not one to judge.

"Oh, great, clowns," grumbles Colleen as they enter the tent, but there are no clowns in sight. Instead, the gang is greeted with a table, some pads, a chalkboard with a bracket written on it, and a giant box marked _Only the Strong._

Joey feels like they're walking into a trap. "Wait, guys. We gotta be careful."

"Only the strongest among you can open the Strong Man's box," announces the carnie, gesturing to the box. "So we're gonna have us a little arm wrestling match to find out which one of y'all is the strongest."

Being a dead man, Joey hasn't had much time to work out, so he's probably not the strongest. Not physically, anyway. What can he say? It's not his priority right now. He's more worried about making things right with everyone.

He is, however, _very_ interested to find out who the strongest one _really_ is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Who is the strongest guest among the seven survivors? Also, Matt's a fighter, Colleen is crushed, Manny smashes some stereotypes, and Rosanna's a lot tougher than she looks.


	26. Test Your Might

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven YouTubers remain, but only one can claim the title of "The Strongest." Who will win the arm wrestling tournament and earn those coveted bragging rights?

Yes, Manny Mua is the boy with all the makeup. Yes, he's the pretty one. Yes, he acts girly sometimes, and yes, he's as gay as a double rainbow in the background of a Pride parade. But despite all that (or, maybe, _because_ of all that), he wants to win this arm wrestling challenge. He wants to be the strongest.

"I need y'all to pair up into teams," says the carnie, gesturing to the chalkboard bracket in front of them.

Manny signs up. _I think I have a chance,_ he muses as he puts a flourish on the Y in his name. _I'm no fitness guru, but I'm pretty well-built._ He chuckles. _Wouldn't it be wild if I_ actually _pulled this off?_

 

Colleen's the weakest person she knows. She is _so_ not winning any arm wrestling tournaments, _especially_ not against the boys. She knows her limits.

But, at the same time, she doesn't want to go out in the first round, so she snags Rosanna as a partner. At least she can beat _her._

 

So they have to pick a teammate? Well, Nikita hasn't worked with Matt yet, so why the hell not? She writes her name next to his on the bracket. As luck would have it, they're at the top of the board.

"Whichever one of y'all is Matt and whichever one of y'all is Nikita," slurs the carnie, "come on up. Let's do this."

Nikita and Matt walk into the ring. "What is _this?"_ gasps Nikita, jabbing a polished fingernail at the table in front of her. _What are all these white things? What's going on?_

"It's an arm wrestling table," Matt explains in a patient voice.

Oh. _Oh!_ She did this wrong! She has to go up _against_ him now! _Congratulations, Nikita, you played yourself._

She sighs and takes off her jacket. Matt does the same. They grip each other's hands across the table, their arms in perfect position to begin their fight to the not-quite-death. Nikita wears her toughest face. Yeah, she's a girl, but she can be just as strong as a boy when she wants to be. She'll take him down.

"May the best person win," the carnie proclaims.

_Amen to that._

"Go!"

Nikita quickly finds herself on the defensive as Matt tries to force her arm down. She fights back, of course. She's _great_ at fighting back.

"Come on, Nikita!" cheers Joey. "You got this! You got this, Nikita! Come on! Show him who's boss!"

But ten seconds into the match, Nikita's hand lands on one of the pads with a _thump,_ and she is out of the tournament. _Oh, well. It's probably for the best. I'd rather lose than break these nails._

 

Rosanna and Colleen are next. "Colleen, can I even _reach_ the table?" Rosanna complains. "I mean, what do we do here?" For the ten billionth time in her life, she wishes that she wasn't such a midget.

"I'll get you a step stool!" offers Joey.

The carnie smiles at her. "You got this."

Once a step stool has been found, Colleen and Rosanna prepare to compete. Rosanna has no clue who's going to win. With arm wrestling, it's almost impossible for _anyone_ to know.

"Go!"

Colleen's giving it her all, but Rosanna does have _one_ advantage: her muscles. She's been weight training every day, five days a week, for almost a year. She can do more than twenty weighted push-ups. Can Colleen do that? Judging by the strain on her face, probably not.

"You got this!" whoops Joey. "Yeah!"

"Come on, Ro!" shouts Matt. Manny stands next to him with an expression that can only be described as "damn."

The encouraging cheers of her friends motivate Rosanna into defeating Colleen. The Disco Dancer's arm falls. Everyone else responds with noises of shock and awe.

 _What did I tell them?_ thinks Rosanna proudly. _I'm a fighter!_

 

Colleen can't believe what just happened. _That cute little muffin is strong!_ she realizes as she claps for her tiny opponent. _She_ crushed _me!_

She's learned her lesson. She'll never underestimate Rosanna again.

 

Match No. 3 is Joey vs. Safiya. Part of Joey is like _you know what, I can beat her,_ but the other part of him isn't so sure. He doesn't know _what's_ under that red sweater.

As their fingers lock into place, Safiya stares at Joey with the stoic expression of a philosopher. Her empty brown eyes are windows into a dimension of dark determination. Goosebumps prick Joey's arm.

"Ready? Go!"

Fortunately for Joey, Safiya's arm is a _lot_ less scary than her eyes are, so he wins.

 

Safiya feels disappointed in herself. _I guess I'm better at solving clues than I am at winning strength-based competitions,_ she sighs as she shrugs back into her aviator's jacket.

Her battle with Joey plays on repeat in her mind.

_Why was his hand so cold?_

 

"Next, we got Matt and Ro," announces the carnie. "Come on! Matt and Ro!"

"All right!" Matt and Rosanna say together.

Matt has arm wrestled against Rosanna before. She's his best friend, after all, and what's a little friendly competition between friends? At any rate, he beat her last time, so he's pretty sure he can beat her again, but since she's going to give it her all, he _can't_ go easy on her. Even if she _is_ the Mabel to his Dipper.

"Go!"

Matt strains against Rosanna's mighty arm, and slowly but surely, he makes progress. "Come on," he hisses.

"Come on," repeats the carnie.

"Yes, Ro, you got this," says someone in the background, but Matt's too deep in the moment to recognize their voice.

Eventually, he forces her against the pad. Rosanna "The Pebble" Pansino has been conquered once and for all. "Aw," she groans, but she claps for him anyway. "You're _so_ strong."

 _I'm in the finals of a strength challenge, baby!_ crows Matt to himself as he advances on the bracket. _That's the first and last time that'll_ ever _happen in my_ life.

 

Manny sat out the first round of the tournament, mostly because there are an odd number of guests still alive, but now, at last, it's _his_ turn to slay. Who's he going up against? Joey? _Pfft._ He giggles inside. _Those arms...bitch,_ what _arms?_

Joey blows on his hands, then rubs them together.

"That's _so_ gross." Manny makes a face. "Ew. I hate you."

Not only is Joey gross, but his hand is as cold as a dead fish. _Whatever._ Manny employs his patented Manny Mua Glamour Stare. Maybe _that_ will intimidate the shady Savant.

"Go!"

Manny pins Joey's arm into place without even thinking twice.

"Omigod!" shrieks Joey, checking his hand to make sure it isn't broken.

Even the carnie looks surprised. "No, he _didn't!"_

Manny flounces, a smirk on his face, as everyone around him bursts into astonished chatter. He's on a _roll._ All he has to do is win one more match, and the title of "strongest bitch in the group" will be his. Who's his competition again?

Matthew "MatPat" Patrick approaches the table.

Manny feels a bit weak in the knees, but his grin is approximately the size of the Cheshire Cat's. _Omigod. This is gonna be_ so _much fun!_

 

When Matt sees that his final opponent is Manny, he's not surprised. The Record Producer is stronger than all of them by, like, a factor of three. It's clear that everyone expects Matt to lose this one.

But Matt's always had a stubborn streak, so he's not going to fall into their expectations.

"Go!"

 _Dang,_ battling Rosanna was a _cakewalk_ compared to this. Matt grits his teeth, tightens his muscles, and puts every ounce of strength he has into resisting Manny's power, but Manny already has the upper hand.

"We want a winner!" growls the carnie. "Come on!"

Sweat glistens on Matt's glasses. "Nyergh!" Everyone's cheering in the background, but he can't hear who they're cheering for. His arm teeters. His head hurts. He clutches the hand rest with his other hand. _Concentrate, Matthew!_ snaps a voice in his head. _You can do this!_

"I have you _down,_ bitch," gloats Manny. "Give up." He surveys Matt through smug eyes.

This only causes Matt to struggle even harder. "I'm not going down until my fist touches the damn pad!" he screams in a raspy voice. He means it. Even though no one's life is on the line, he's a competitive person, and he plans to fight to the end.

 

Matt's hand feels warm. He's _trying,_ bless his cute little heart, but it's no use. Manny's got him right where he wants him. All that's left to do now is finish him off.

Honestly, Manny wouldn't mind dragging things out a little longer, but the carnie thinks otherwise. "I'm gonna call it here in a minute," she says matter-of-factly. "Come on, Eyelashes."

So, right on cue, Manny slams Matt's arm against the table. Matt cries out, then falls dramatically to the ground.

"There we go," says the carnie.

 _I did it._ Manny exhales. _I'm the strongest bitch here._ If he had a weave, he would've tossed it to the side, caught it on the other side, and brushed it with some hair. _I'm wearing a full face of makeup, and I'm still a badass. Take_ that, _stereotypes!_

He writes his name in the winner's circle. M-A-N-N-Y shines against the blackboard, and Manny hopes that it'll stay there _long_ after he's gone.

"Only the strongest can open the Strong Man's box," the carnie reminds them.

Everyone claps. "Great job, Manny," says Joey.

Manny opens the giant box. Inside are his prizes: a pyramid thing and a note. Not a lifetime supply of Maybelline products, which is what he was hoping for, but it's fine. He reads the note to the others.

_The demon that lives inside this configuration has escaped and must be locked back inside to cleanse the artifact. The missing pieces must be restored to the cube to seal it._

_So_ this _is what we need._ It looks like a triangle with a little pyramid inside. Hey, at least it's prettier than that godawful Statue of Ick.

"Hold on." Joey frowns. _"That's_ the artifact?"

"Yeah," Manny replies.

Joey's shaking. "That means we just released the Strong Man."

 _Aren't_ I _the Strong Man now?_ thinks Manny for a second, but just as he gets over his brain fart, an earsplitting roar permeates the tent.

 

A man appears at the entrance. He's an blonde guy with an ugly face, a humongous mutant arm, bulging muscles, and a ripped policeman's uniform. Accompanying him is a dark-haired girl with a messed-up face and a pair of boots just like Nikita's. _Gross!_ thinks Nikita. _Why does she have the same shoes as me?_

The guests scream. Manny shields Nikita. Joey looks like he's seen a ghost.

"You think you're stronger than me?" bellows the Strong Man. _"No one's_ stronger than me! I will destroy you all!"

 _Bitch, please!_ Nikita's still high from her best friend's victory, so she doesn't give two shits what _this_ creep has to say. _Manny could_ totally _beat your ass! And if_ he _won't,_ I _will!_

 

"Guys, we gotta get out of here!" shouts Mortimer.

 _Good idea._ Safiya _was_ having fun watching the rest of the tournament, but now that the Strong Man is menacing the group, the fun's over. She wants _out_ of this tent.

She starts racing behind the curtain, trying to escape, and at first, she thinks she's doing all right. Then, the Strong Man reaches through the curtain and grabs her by the elbow.

_Crap._

Since the man is twice her size (and has a demonic arm to boot), Safiya knows better than to try and fight back. "You guys!" she yells to the others as she's yanked out of the tent. "I got captured! Save yourselves!"

 

Rosanna's being chased by the Strong Man's lady friend. Her screaming grabs Matt's attention, and he defends her with a chair. "Hey, you leave her alone!" he orders the woman. "Pick on someone your own size!"

 _Thanks, Matt,_ thinks Rosanna. _You're the best._

"Come on!" Mortimer waves the panicked YouTubers outside. "This way! This way! This way!"

Everyone flees the tent. Rosanna tries to follow them outside, but all of a sudden, the scary woman grabs her by the arm. "Ah!" She tries to squirm away. It doesn't do her any good.

Joey joins the others outside. _At least my friends are safe,_ Rosanna reassures herself as she and Safiya are dragged away.

"He's a police officer!" hollers Safiya.

The woman seems drunk. "I can smell your fear!" she slurs at the captured girls.

Rosanna sniffs her own armpit. That's odd. _She_ doesn't smell anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Rosanna and Safiya go to jail. Also, the Ferris wheel becomes important again.


	27. Jailbirds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Safiya and Rosanna have been arrested! Oh, no! Now, they've got to escape an _actual_ jail cell, while the rest of the gang pieces together an artifact.

"Look, she's right," says Mortimer, pointing to where the Strong Man and his sidekick are taking away Safiya and Rosanna. "That guy used to be a cop."

 _Like I care!_ Matt's shaking. _They got Ro and Safiya!_ He wants to go after them, but if he can't beat Manny in an arm wrestling competition, there's no _way_ he can beat the demonic Strong Man. That arm _alone_ could crush someone!

Manny, being the strongest one in the group, takes charge. "Okay, here's the plan. Me, Joey, and Mortimer are gonna go save our damsels in distress, because they're amazing, and we love them. The rest of you, go cleanse the artifact. _Finish_ the damn thing."

Matt nods. He's fine with this. _Anything_ to get Rosanna and Safiya back.

_Let them be okay. Please, let them be okay._

 

"Get in there!" yells the strange woman as she and the Strong Man throw Rosanna and Safiya into a jail cell. "Don't fight it! Just let it happen! Get in there! Go!" She slams the cell door in their faces. "Back up!"

Rosanna clings to Safiya. _Why are they so mean?_ her heart wails. _Why is almost everyone here so mean to us? We just want to help!_

She hugs her fluffy green coat to her chest. It doesn't make her feel any better.

The woman turns to the Strong Man, and her sour expression morphs into one of...lust? "Oh, you're so _sexy!"_ she cries as she jumps into his huge, muscular arms.

"Oh, baby!" pants the Strong Man.

They proceed to engage in the sloppiest makeout session ever. Safiya shield Rosanna's eyes, but Rosanna can still hear the sound of the monsters' tongues slurping in each other's mouths. _Ew!_ She cringes. _Ew, ew, ew! Disgusting! I don't like this!_

After what feels like an eternity, the couple breaks apart. "Okay! All right!" The woman leaps out of her boyfriend's grasp. "That's enough! Go get more of them!"

"Fine!" bellows the Strong Man.

His girlfriend pushes him. "Go!"

The Strong Man leaves.

 _"Damn,_ he's sexy," slurs the woman. She notices that Safiya and Rosanna are staring at her, and she goes back to Angry Mode. "You lookin' at something?"

"No," says Safiya.

Rosanna shakes her head. "Nope." She _wishes_ she wasn't looking.

The woman shakes her nightstick at them. Safiya pulls Rosanna into a reassuring hug. Rosanna shivers. She's _not _a fan of prison, and right now, she's not a fan of couples, either. They're weird.__

(Coming from a girl who has a boyfriend back at home, _that's_ saying something.)

 

Manny wasn't lying when he said that he loves Safiya and Rosanna. They're _awesome._ They don't deserve to be locked up, especially when they haven't even done anything wrong. Furthermore, as the strongest one here, it's his responsibility to make sure that everyone's safe. Operation Jailbreak is a go!

He, Joey, and Mortimer sneak up on the police station. The Strong Man is guarding it. "Where are you?" the creature growls.

 _We're coming for you, bitch,_ Manny wants to shout. _Don't mess with our girls!_ But he stays quiet.

As it turns out, the boys' secret agent skills could use some work, because they're spotted. Manny suddenly remembers that they're dealing with a jacked-up guy who may or may not be on steroids and also has a demon arm. _Oh, shit. That's not good._

"There you are!" the Strong Man roars.

"Come on," says Mortimer to Manny and Joey, and all three of them run off. Hopefully, there's another way into the station.

 

Their guard (whose name, Safiya assumes, is Veronica, given what the Strong Man was muttering to himself as he left) departs. Once she's gone, Safiya and Rosanna start searching the jail cell for anything that can help them escape.

Rosanna checks the mattress they've been left with. "Look what I found!" she chirps, holding up a spoon and a note.

_Dig in the marked spot._

"Right here!" whispers Rosanna, pointing to a marked spot behind the mattress. "Right here!"

Safiya smiles. "Okay, Ro. You dig. I'll see what else I can find."

Rosanna gets to digging. Safiya glances out the barred window, and she sees Joey, Manny, and Mortimer sneaking up on the prison. _Well, at least they didn't forget about us._

"Safiya!" Joey hisses.

"We're here to get you guys out," says Manny.

"Is there a lock?" Joey asks. "Do we need to find a key?"

 _Hold on._ Safiya's eyes embark on a thorough sweep of the area. There aren't any locks or keys, but there _is_ a power box on the wall. "There's a power box," she reports.

Joey frowns. "A power box?" He sounds like he's never heard of a power box before.

Mortimer bristles. "Guys! She's coming!"

 _Oh, of_ course _she is._

 

"Step right up!" crows the carnie as Nikita, Colleen, Matt, and Calliope approach her booth.

"Oh," says Matt. "Look who it is."

Nikita gags internally. "Omigod! Bitch!" She didn't like this carnie bitch when they were arm wrestling, and she sure as _hell_ doesn't like her now. Everything about her rubs Nikita the wrong way.

"Did y'all miss me?" the carnie asks.

"No," Colleen replies.

Nikita vehemently shakes her head. "Not really."

"I missed you," says the carnie, as if they're supposed to care. She hands Matt a weird little replica of a Ferris wheel. "Now get out of my face."

Matt thanks her, and they walk away.

"Let me see that." Nikita takes the wheel from Matt. Her first intuition is _lemme just twist it,_ and because she has no impulse control whatsoever, she goes ahead and does that.

"Wait!" Matt points at the _actual_ Ferris wheel, which spins along with Nikita's twisting. "It's operating this!"

"You turned on the Ferris wheel!" Colleen exclaims.

"You turned on the Ferris wheel," Matt repeats.

"Okay." Nikita's never controlled a Ferris wheel before, but they have absolutely no time to sit around, so they walk to the Ferris wheel. "I think I have the key to spinning this and making it work." Every time Nikita turns the toy Ferris wheel, the bigger one moves with it. It's kind of fun. "Should I keep turning this? Wait!" She's found a note on the bottom of the Ferris wheel, which she reads.

_Who among you is the Captain, and who is the Joker? The Captain must ride the one with two feet grounded, and the Joker must complete the trio. With that in place, stop the tallest of them all at the highest point to reveal the next pieces of the Demonic Configuration._

The Captain and Joker stuff is nonsensical bullshit to Nikita, but at least the "tallest" part makes sense. They have to put the tallest person in their group on top of the Ferris wheel.

"How tall are you?" Matt asks Colleen.

The dark-haired Dancer thinks for a second. "I'm five-six."

"I'm five-nine," says Matt. Then, to Nikita, "How tall are you?"

"Five-four, plus hair," is Nikita's bold reply. Obviously, the bigger the hair, the closer to God. Maybe it will help her save the town.

 

Matt's the tallest, so he climbs into the Ferris wheel for the second time in five hours. Yeah, Rosanna isn't with him this time, because the Strong Man has her, but she'll be all right. He trusts Manny, Joey, and Mortimer to save her. Well, to be more accurate, he trusts Manny and Mortimer to save her. He's not so sure about Joey. There are too many things that the Savant refuses to tell them about this place.

Once Nikita's guided him to the top again, he looks around. "There seems to be something on the porch outside of our lounge," he calls down to the girls.

They bring him back down again. This mysterious object on the porch is a start, but there's really nothing that's speaking to them and saying _congratulations, you have solved what this puzzle is trying to tell._ They might as well figure out the rest. They're all clue-solving experts by now, after all. Aren't they?

 

Joey checks the police car, tuning out the sounds of the Strong Man's girlfriend rambling "Do-do-do-do-do!" in the background. There's absolutely nothing there.

"Okay, Joey, guys, she's coming," warns Mortimer. "Joey, she's coming back. Come on. Come on."

He, Joey, and Manny try to slink away, but they're spotted by the drunk woman. "Hey!" she barks. "You think, uh, you think...you trying to make me look _stupid?!?"_ She runs after them. "You, you, you! Stop! Stop right there!"

Fortunately, her alcoholism works against her, and she soon gives up the chase.

Mortimer finds something under a bench. "Guys, what's this?" It turns out to be a box. "It's got a lock."

"It needs a code," realizes Joey.

"Are you _kidding_ me?" Manny rolls his eyes and goes back to the window of the jail. "Safiya!"

 

Veronica _might_ have a drinking problem, but it's working in their favor, so Safiya doesn't mind. Also, it seems like the boys have found something. Everything's going according to the plan that Safiya doesn't have.

Manny shows up at her window again. "Do you see a number code anywhere?"

"A number code?" questions Safiya. "Anywhere?"

"Yes, any arrangement of numbers," he responds.

"All right. Let me look." First, Safiya checks on Rosanna. The little Jet Setter is still digging, and she seems to be doing okay. That's good. "All right. One sec." Safiya looks under the stool in their cell. There's a note taped to the bottom. "Ooh! Shit! I _do_ have something."

"You do?" Manny asks.

"Yes."

"What?"

Joey's at the window now. "You have a what?"

"Numbers," says Manny.

"A note, actually," Safiya corrects him.

_Take a number. Double it. Add nine. Subtract three. Divide by two. Subtract your original number. Then add one hundred._

Oh. So it's math. Safiya can do math.

"Well, you figure out what that is," says Joey.

"All right." Safiya tucks her hair behind her ears and turns away. "I'll work on this, okay?"

Manny nods. "Do that while we distract."

"Pick a number?" murmurs Rosanna sleepily.

 _It's okay, Ro. Don't worry about it._ "All right. Two." She selects two because it's a simple number, one that's easy to work with, and she'd rather not make an easy math problem more complicated than it has to be. "Double it. Four." If all goes well, she'll be able to do everything inside of her head.

Halfway through her calculations, she's interrupted by Joey's voice outside the station. "Okay, so I found this rod. I think it connects somehow."

"For sure," says Manny.

Safiya gets back on track. "Then add a hundred." She walks back to the window. "I've got a hundred and three. Try it."

"One-oh-three," repeats Manny. "One-oh-three."

"Yes. One-oh-three. Try it." _I hope I'm right._

 

Manny goes back to the box and punches one-oh-three into the combination. It works. "Omigod. We got it! We got it! We got it!" _Damn, Saf's smart!_

"Does one-oh-three work?" asks Joey as he rushes over.

"Yes," Manny assures him.

"Okay," says Joey. "Good."

They open the box, and they find a winch and a note. "Whoa," Manny breathes.

"Is that a bear trap?" Joey wants to know.

_No, Joey. It's a winch. Why would you think that it's a bear trap? It doesn't look like a bear trap at all!_

Sadly, the winch isn't long enough to reach the window to Safiya and Rosanna's cell. They need to find an extension cable if they're going to get their girls out of there.

Manny reads the enclosed note.

_Reset code: ABBAC, power box._

"Hold on to that," Joey tells him. Then, "Wait! Didn't they say there was a power box in there?"

 

"I got it!" announces Matt, and Colleen's not surprised, because of _course_ he got it. He's _MatPat,_ for God's sake. If they didn't have him here, they'd probably _all_ be screwed.

_All right, Mister Detective. What do we have to do?_

"So on the sides of the Ferris wheel, there are different creatures." Matt points to the creatures as he names them. "There's a giraffe. There's a horse." He turns to Colleen. "And then you have to be the Joker."

Colleen's Miranda side pouts. Why does _she_ have to be the Joker? Sure, she's the comedian of the group, but she's not _that_ ridiculous!

 _Pull yourself together and do what he says,_ she snaps to herself.

She sits in the Joker car and flashes her classiest smile at her friends. Matt's already in the giraffe car. "We need to stop this giraffe at the very top," he instructs them. "Okay, Nikita? You think you can do that for us?"

"Of course I can." Nikita twists the toy Ferris wheel and raises it high above her head. "Activate!"

The wheel shudders to a start. Colleen's car climbs higher and higher into the sky. The wicked town of Everlock grows smaller beneath her, and she fantasizes about crushing it underneath her dancing boots.

"I hope this works, you guys," calls out Nikita. "Stop!" She uses her replica to bring the Ferris wheel to an abrupt halt.

The "Yes!" from Matt at the top of the wheel lets Colleen know that they have it right.

 

Right on cue, the chest opens, and Nikita grabs its contents. She wants to play with the Ferris wheel for a little while longer, but they don't have time for that.

"What does it say?" Colleen asks.

Nikita holds up the first piece of the artifact. "You guys, I have the piece." She reads the accompanying note aloud.

_The second missing piece of the Demonic Configuration can only be found after the Demon Idol has been reassembled._

"Okay!" Matt shouts. "That's the thing on the porch!"

Well, that's that. Playtime's over. The Ferris wheel was fun, and Nikita's going to miss messing with it, but she _has_ to move on. "I don't want this anymore," she lies, holding up the toy. "Can I throw it?"

"No, let's keep it," says Matt, taking it from her. She feels oddly relieved.

"I found you!"

It's the Strong Man. Not Manny, but the _other_ Strong Man, the one who's all beefed up. He looks just as pissed as he did before.

"This way!" cries Matt. He takes off, and the girls follow him.

 _Omigod!_ Nikita bites back the urge to scream in frustration. _Can we go_ one second _without someone getting captured or squished or attacked? Like, it's really stressful out here!_

 

The Strong Man reminds Colleen of a very large, terrifying Logan Paul. Since she doesn't want her dead body broadcasted to the world, she and her friends hide in one of the knock-'em-down booths until he's out of sight.

When the coast is clear, they get back to work, and they find a bunch of scattered pieces from a totem pole. There's a picture of the completed pole nearby, labeled _Find the twelve pieces. Assemble me._ It's probably a clue. Everything in Everlock is a clue to something.

"Here's one!" says Matt. "Bring them to the center post!"

Colleen finds another piece. "There's some there." She's out of breath. She feels hot, and not in the sexy mama kind of way. "This is coming off." She tosses her fluffy coat to the side, leaving her in nothing but her silk two-piece. Yeah, her belly button's exposed, but at least it'll cool her off.

Nikita's repeating the note to herself. Colleen tries to listen, but it's no use. This thing is _impossible!_ It doesn't make any sense!

"Who is it?"

_Oh, crap. Here comes Mutant Logan._

The YouTubers go back into hiding. The Strong Man takes his anger out on an innocent barrel that happens to be nearby.

 

"My power box in here is locked," Safiya whispers to the boys outside her window. "My power box is locked."

"We have a power box out here too," says Joey.

Safiya points to the power box on the wall of the station. "There's a power box right in there." It's _just_ out of reach of her jail cell, but maybe she can reach it if she had something to reach it with.

Rosanna's still digging. Safiya's grown protective of the tiny brunette, despite the fact that they've never met before tonight. Maybe that's a side effect of being trapped in jail together, just like how Harry and Ron befriended Hermione after saving her from the mountain troll. _There are some things you just can't share without ending up liking each other._

"All right." Manny's voice brings her out of her thoughts. "We need you to press a passcode into the power box. It's ABBAC." He holds out a rod. "Can you use an extension?"

"Yes!" She takes it from him and pulls it through her window. "Yes, I could!"

"Be careful, be careful," he murmurs.

Safiya uses the rod to set to her new task. She's very nervous that Veronica's going to walk in, see her doing this, and subsequently flip out. "Someone please distract Veronica," she requests. "That's his girlfriend's name. If she sees..."

 

They decide that Manny will be the bait to distract the Veronica chick while Safiya does her thing. _It's like we're dangling something shiny in front of a very drunk cat,_ thinks Manny, _and I'm the shiny thing._ He giggles at his own analogy.

He steps out into the open, and Veronica spies him right away. "Hey." She sounds like she's going to fly into a drunken rage any minute now.

"Who, me?" asks Manny sweetly, fluttering his eyelashes.

She starts towards him. "Where are you coming from, and where are you going?"

There are times when the best course of action is to back away slowly. This is one of those times.

 

Safiya punches in the first four letters pretty easily, thanks to her new rod, but the last C proves to be more of a challenge. She keeps missing. Finally, she's able to press it, and the electrical box in her cell opens.

Inside is a piece of the Demonic Configuration, which is great, but it's not going to help her and Rosanna get out of here.

 

As soon as Safiya enters the code, the boys' box opens. Joey gasps. _She did it!_ "Manny!" he calls "Manny! Come this way!" He waves his arms around in an attempt to draw Manny to him.

Manny, however, is still being chased around by Veronica. "You see this?" she shrieks, shaking her nightstick at him. _"My_ street! _My_ police station!"

The Record Producer disappears behind the building. A noise captures Veronica's attention, freeing Manny to rejoin Joey and Mortimer.

When they're all together again, Joey takes a look inside their box. He finds an extension cable. _Perfect._ It's just what they need to rescue the prisoners.

 

Rosanna's been digging forever. The clay is _so_ frozen solid. Yeah, she's getting chunks out, but not a lot is happening at the moment. Desperate times call for desperate measures. "It's time to ruin the platform Oxfords," she decides, and she gives the spot a few good kicks.

Safiya gasps. "Yes!" She bends down and picks up a small silver coin. "We have a coin for the box of Lazarus! Good job, Ro!"

"Yes!" _Oh, yay! A Lazarus coin! Wait till we show Matt!_ "Thanks!"

"Yes!" Safiya offers Rosanna a high five.

Rosanna, of course, doesn't leave her hanging. "Yes!" She high-fives her new friend.

"Pistol squats for the win," says Safiya proudly, "even though that had nothing to do with that."

"What kind of funny business is going on around here, huh?" garbles Veronica as she stumbles back into the police station.

Rosanna's scared, but thankfully, Safiya's braver than she is. "Veronica, we're having a fun night," the Investigative Reporter says in a friendly voice. "We're drinking whiskey. You look good. Don't worry about it."

"I know," says Veronica, and she leaves.

 

Joey, Manny, and Mortimer attach one end of the extension cable to the winch, and they attach the other end to the bars on the window. "Okay, Manny, come on!" Joey runs to the winch. "Let's crank it!" It's time to get the girls out of that awful cell.

They crank it. "Omigod," says Manny. "It's going. It's going."

Soon enough, they pull the bars off the window, providing Rosanna and Safiya with an escape route. Then, Veronica comes back.

"Omigod," gasps Manny. "Omigod."

The boys hide.

 

Safiya wears a good-natured mask for Veronica's sake. It feels weird, but it's what she has to do.

"Something looks fishy in here," says Veronica with a frown.

"It's just my coat," Rosanna replies. "It's really ugly."

 _"Painfully_ ugly," snarks Veronica. Safiya swallows a few choice remarks.

Rosanna doesn't seem to be fazed by Veronica's insult. "Yeah, the winter line was not my favorite, but it _is_ the new-new, so I sprung for it."

Safiya plays along. "Yeah. Absolutely." Personally, she thinks that Rosanna's coat looks cute on her, but that's an opinion for another time.

Veronica exits.

"Guys!" hisses Joey. "Guys!"

Safiya turns, and lo and behold, the bars are down. _We're free!_ She jumps out of the window. Then, she and Manny help a beaming Rosanna out into the open air.

"All right, guys," says Mortimer. "Let's go."

They book it back towards the lounge.

 

"Coast is clear," whispers Colleen. "Come on! We're running out of time. We need to hurry!"

"I know, I know." Matt can feel the pressure building above their heads, ready to crush them. Colleen's right. They can't afford to waste any more time. They must figure out this three-dimensional totem puzzle the same way they'd figure out any puzzle at home: by finding the most prominent designs and trying to match them up.

It's at this time that Joey, Rosanna, Safiya, Manny, and Mortimer show up. "Your friends!" exclaims Calliope. "Your friends!"

 _Oh, thank God,_ thinks Matt the second he lays eyes on Rosanna and Safiya. _They're okay._

"Hey, guys!" Nikita greets the other half of the group. "We have to figure out this puzzle. We're almost complete with it."

"Okay, okay," says Manny.

"We aren't 'almost complete,'" Colleen scoffs. She brings over an especially large piece. "This goes in the middle."

Matt feels like he should thank Joey, Manny, and Mortimer for saving the girls, but there's no time to celebrate. They need to figure out this puzzle. He'll thank them later. "This is the front side, this is the back side, or vice versa," he says, gesturing to the poster.

"Okay," says Joey.

More pieces are added. "Yes!" Matt kneels down next to the growing totem pole. "We need two more." 

Joey slides another piece into place. "It worked!"

"That's it!" cheers Manny. "That's it!"

"We have to stack it upside down, too," Joey reminds everyone.

Just when Matt thinks they almost have it, the Strong Man crashes the party once again. Everyone screams, runs, and hides. Matt nearly trips over a puzzle piece in the process.

 

Joey was _not_ expecting the Strong Man to come out. _I thought the other group took care of him!_ Now, here he is, hiding in a booth with stuffed animals, making no noise and pretending he's not there. What a way to spend a Friday night.

On the bright side, although he's not the strongest man in the group, he's _definitely_ the best hider. At least he has _that_ going for him.

Since the Strong Man can't find anyone, he destroys a case instead. The case's contents spill all over the ground. The Strong Man snarls furiously as he leaves.

"Coast is clear," says Calliope.

Joey says "okay," hurls a giant stuffed horse over his shoulder, and runs back out into the clearing. Ten seconds later, the group finishes the puzzle. "We got it!" Joey whoops.

A compartment pops open on the bottom of the totem pole. Joey pulls it out, and there it is: the final piece of the Demonic Configuration. Also, a note.

_To cleanse the artifact, insert the fragments into the Configuration and wrap it with a holy band of leather. To recover the leather band, a new Strong Man must be found. Select two men among you to do battle for the title. Choose wisely. Only the strongest will survive._

_"Again!"_ gripes Matt. "Dropping like flies!"

Joey's blood runs cold. _He's_ a guy. Since this challenge is guys-only, and there are three guys left... _what if_ I _get picked? If it's physical stuff, I don't stand a_ chance _against Matt, let_ alone _Manny! What am I going to do?_

He _won't_ let his mission end this way. He _must_ survive. No matter what it takes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Voting Time, Boy Edition! Which two of the three remaining boys will be forced to fight to the death? Also, Joey fesses up, Colleen calls him out on his crap, and Matt considers his odds.


	28. The Strong Survive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To defeat the Strong Man, a new Strong Man must be crowned. There are only three options. Once again, it's time for everyone to make some tough (and potentially fatal) choices.

Colleen knows that they need to put up two guys for the Strong Man competition. There are three men alive right now: Matthew "MatPat" Patrick, Manny Mua, and Joey Graceffa. Two of them, Matt and Manny, are _great_ competitors. They're _really_ strong. They've helped _so_ much. They don't deserve to die.

Then, there's Joey, who's been nothing but a shady bitch.

 _Let's be smart on this one, guys,_ she thinks as they reenter the lounge. _Please. For everyone's sake._

 

 _Why do I keep ending up in these situations?_ Matt grumbles to himself. Last time, he was one of _four_ people in danger, although, to be fair, that was his own fault for losing the team challenge. Now, he's among _three_ guests at risk for death, all because...he identifies as male? How is this fair?

Safiya pulls him aside on the way through the door. "Ro and I found a Lazarus coin," she whispers, showing it to him. "Just thought you should know, since...well...you seemed pretty into the box earlier."

Matt smiles. _Well, at least we're one step closer to saving Jc, Roi, and Teala._ "Thanks, Safiya. I needed to hear that."

"You're welcome." She takes her seat.

Matt sits with the other two boys. He feels like the three of them are on trial. _Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please don't vote for me._

Manny is the first to present his argument. "I feel like I am a player that does everything, and I do them well," he says, punctuating his words with his usual hand gestures.

"And you do them _so_ well," adds Matt, who feels the need to interject in order to set his new plan into motion, "that you won the Strong Man competition."

Manny picks up where Matt left off. "And I'm the strongest, so if we need any kind of strength situation, that's me."

"That's what it says," remarks Nikita nervously.

 _Yes. Exactly._ "Which is right now." Matt feels a _bit_ bad about buttering Manny up to be thrown into the death challenge, but hey, it's not _his_ fault that they want strength. "It says we need to find the strongest man, and you proved yourself earlier tonight that you _are_ the strongest."

"True," says Manny with a shrug. Then, in a slightly confused tone of voice, "So why would you want to go against me?"

"I _don't_ want to go against you." This is true. Matt would rather eat another platter of vegan hot dogs than go into a strength-based death challenge against Manny. It's not because he's particularly close with the makeup artist, but because _holy heck he's twice my size._ "I think we should put up Joey. He's been acting very strangely this entire time."

 _"Me?"_ Joey almost squeals.

Matt keeps talking. "He has some connection to this league that he's not telling us about."

This earns him a few odd looks, but he couldn't care less. _His_ life is on the line here! He _needs_ the other two to go in! If that means playing to Manny's ego, calling Joey out, and manipulating everyone in the room, he'll do it. He'll do _anything_ to see his family again.

 

"Joey," says Colleen calmly, "what do you have to say?" There's a _very_ tiny part of her that _still_ hasn't given up on her former friend, and that's why she's giving him one last chance to defend himself. _Come on, Joey. I loved you back in our old land. Give me a reason to love you again._

Joey fiddles with his hands. "Well, first of all, I feel a connection to this town, and I have a purpose here. There's something more that I have to do here, and if I'm killed before that time, you guys won't get out of here alive." His voice constructs a paper-thin wall of ultimatums. "You need me."

Colleen feels sick to her stomach for the second time in one hour. Her last piece of faith falls away. She leans forward, grins sadly, and looks Joey dead in the eye. _"Liar."_

"How am I—how is that a—"

"You're a liar!" She can taste the venom in her voice, and her face is flushed with righteous rage. "I don’t believe anything that you say! I know—"

"Why?"

"Because you're the reason we all are here in the first place. You know things that you're not telling us. You're being sketchy. Your friends are dying. You don't seem to care." This speech has been building up inside her for at least half an hour, and it feels _so good_ to finally let it out and tell Joey _exactly_ what she thinks of him. "I think you need to go, because I think you're a liar. I do _not_ trust you."

They were friends once. That doesn't matter now. He's dead to her.

 

Rosanna trusts Joey. She _knows_ him. He's her friend. He doesn't have an evil bone in his body. Yeah, the others are scared to die, which is understandable, but he doesn't deserve to be targeted like this! She _has_ to protect him!

"Okay, well, we've said our piece," snaps Joey. "I would like to talk to each of you individually, please. Ro, can we go talk somewhere? Thank you."

Rosanna gets up to go with him. She hears a mutter of _"Individually?"_ from Manny, but she ignores him and joins Joey in a corner of the room.

"Why is she being so intense towards me?" Joey exclaims.

Rosanna sighs. "I think she's scared." _I think she needs to cool down, take a moment, and remember who the_ real _enemy is._

 

Maybe Matt's right. Maybe Manny, being the strongest bitch here, _should_ go into the challenge. But he doesn't _want_ to! He doesn't _want_ to die out there, no matter _how_ strong he is!

Of course, he doesn't want Matt to die, either. Joey, on the other hand...

"I don't think we need Joey," Colleen hisses. "I'm thinking, if we get rid of him, maybe this all just disappears."

 _That would be nice._ "Like, what if he's the link to the town?" Manny theorizes.

"How long can you be friends with someone who's brought you to a place that's put all of your friends in danger?" Colleen wants to know. "And we're dying, so...toxic relationship..." She makes a snipping motion with her fingers, complete with sound effects. "Bye, honey!"

Manny thinks of everyone in his friend group, both here and at home. He loves them all, but if he ever found out that one of them was trying to pull something like what Joey's pulling now, he'd kick that person to the curb faster than he can say "sayonara, bitch." He's _not_ about to put up with shit like that.

Besides, if Joey dies, everyone else might get to live. It's a win-win situation. Who _wouldn't_ go for it?

 

"If you're able to tell us something more to reassure our confidence in you," Safiya tells Joey once the group is back together again, "I think it would go a long way with us. We need _everything_ out on the table if we're gonna save this town."

Joey nods. She's right. Now's the best time he'll ever get to confess what's going on. Plus, it might just save his life in the long run.

"I didn't wanna tell you guys this in the beginning," he admits, tears running down his face, "because I was scared of what you guys would think." He sniffles. Nikita pats him on the shoulder. "Um...the truth is, I _died."_

 _He staggers backwards, reeling from the sting of the Sorceress's knife. She stabs him again, and he tries to form coherent thoughts through his pain, but all he can think of are names of friends he lost long ago. Tyler's voice screams a collection of words, but Joey can't hear what he's saying. He can't hear_ anything _anymore._

Safiya frowns. "What?"

"You _what?"_ gasps Manny.

"I died, and I woke up in this town. I was so scared. I didn't know what was going on, and I signed a contract that would save this town, and they would bring me back to life, and if I don't save this town, I die with it."

Some people, such as Colleen, still seem unconvinced. Others are visibly shaken. Rosanna, especially, is quivering with empathy.

"You should've told us from the beginning!" admonishes Nikita.

"I know!" Joey sobs. "I should've told you guys, but...I didn't know how you guys would take it!"

Matt shakes his head. "Pretty poorly, actually, cause what you just said is that you're willing to trade nine lives for yours, Joey? Great."

Joey can't stop crying. _Why did I expect_ any _of them to understand what happened?_ "I have unfinished business I need to do here," he says quietly, thinking of all the wrongs he must make right, "so that's why it's so important that I don't go out into that elimination."

_God, have mercy on me. Have mercy on us all._

 

Colleen's sarcastically clapping in her head. _Nice acting, Joey! I swear to God that single tear of yours was a spit tear. You didn't care before, when Jc, Roi, and Teala were slaughtered like a bunch of animals. But now, when your_ own _ass is in danger, you're suddenly spewing sob stories?_

Besides, people can't come back from the dead. _Everyone_ knows that. Therefore, this is just another lie.

"It is now time to vote," announces Calliope for the fourth time.

Matt's first again. As Colleen watches him cast his vote, she remembers how much he's done for the team, and she realizes that they really _are_ screwed if they lose him. _I swear to God, if the results are not Manny and Joey, I'm going to be_ furious.

When it's her turn, she almost destroys the Savant card she picks.

 

Safiya doesn't vote for Joey. Yes, his story has a few holes in it, but it's better to keep him around for now. She thinks that he has more information that they might need.

Instead, she votes for Manny, who's already proven himself to be their answer to the Strong Man. He can handle it.

 

Rosanna reluctantly hands over a Record Producer card. She _really_ hates death challenges. She doesn't like to see _anybody_ go. But since the options are Joey, Matt, and Manny, she _has_ to put her boys first.

_Maybe no one will die this time?_

 

 _Did I make the right choice?_ Joey wonders on his way to the table. _Have I_ ever _made the right choice?_

He turns off his brain, like he always does whenever he has to vote, and selects a Detective card.

His head hurts.

 

Matt's exhibiting every sign of fear imaginable. His face is pale. His palms are sweaty. His throat feels tight. He's shaking. His mind is a swirl of Stephanie, Ollie, and _I don't want to go I don't want to go please God don't let them pick me._

"The first male going into the challenge is..."

 _Safiya and Ro found the first Lazarus coin. If Joey's to be believed, he_ actually _came back from the dead, so my theory looks stronger than ever. But even if it_ is _true..._

"The Detective."

That's it, then. Matt's going into the challenge. It _sucks._ He's _devastated._ This very well might be the beginning of the end of his story, but he doesn't want to close the book on himself just yet. _I can still win,_ insists his mind. _I'm strong. I'm smart. I've got enough determination to power a small town in Puerto Rico. Heck, if I end up against Joey, I'll have it in the bag!_

But, try as he might, he can't force his heart to believe his frantic pep talk. All he can do is wait for his opponent to be revealed.

 

"The second male going into the challenge is..."

Colleen takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. _I swear to God,_ she silently snarls as Calliope picks a card, _if it is not Joey…_

It's not Joey.

_Dammit._

 

"The Record Producer."

 _Of course._ Manny rolls his eyes so hard that they almost roll off his face. _Of_ course _I'm going into the death challenge. Of_ course _I'm going up against the guy I like. Of_ course _Joey's shady ass lives another hour. Why did I expect anything different?_

Nikita looks like someone just told her that it's now illegal to be pretty. On the other side of the room, Rosanna buries her face in her hands.

"Here." Matt stands up, removes his Detective badge from his hip, and slams it against the table in a fit of anguished anger. "There’s no justice here."

The room is quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Matt and Manny engage in a competition designed to show off their strength. Also, death.


	29. Game Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Manny and Matt go head-to-head in a series of physical tests. One of them won't make it out alive.

"All right, guys," says Mortimer to Matt and Manny. "Gotta get you changed for this. Come on."

 _Changed?_ Manny raises a perfectly styled eyebrow. He was _not_ expecting to get a new outfit out of this shit, but then again, Nikita got one for _her_ challenge, so it's only fair. Hopefully, his is better than hers.

 _Is that_ seriously _what I'm thinking about right now?!?_

His hand snakes into his pocket. His lip gloss is still there, safely secured, and he brushes his fingers against it for good luck before he follows Mortimer, Calliope, and Matt into the arcade.

"We will bring you your new clothes," remarks Calliope. "Please wait here." She and Mortimer disappear around the corner, leaving Matt and Manny alone. Manny thinks of a million things to say, but somehow, none of them seem like they should be said.

Matt stares at the floor. "You're a good guy, Manny," he murmurs in a shattered voice. "I don't blame you for what's about to happen." He raises his head. The gleam of light in his chocolate-brown eyes reveals a man searching for confidence. "Take care of Ro for me, okay? If…" He swallows. "If I don't make it?"

"Of course." Manny accepts the request without thinking twice. Then, because he's worried, "But if _I_ die, _you_ have to look after Nikita. Deal?"

"Deal."

They shake hands. The stroke of midnight seals their final bargain.

Calliope and Mortimer return with their outfits. Matt audibly groans when he sees them, but Manny squeals in delight at the adorable clothes. _Yes! Perfect!_ They'll get to wear cute little white T-shirts, little red booty shorts, and red headbands. _We'll be even_ prettier _than we already are!_

Risking his life _does_ have its perks.

 

Matt would almost rather _die_ than let the others see him in booty shorts. He's _very_ sensitive about his legs, so the last thing he needs is an outfit that will display his inadequateness to all his friends. "Calliope, are you _sure_ I can't wear longer pants?"

"This is what we have," says Calliope solemnly.

So Matt and Manny take their ridiculous outfits, go into separate bathroom stalls, drop trow, and put on trow. They finish changing at roughly the same time. Manny goes straight to the mirror to adjust his makeup again, while Matt scowls at his reflection. Just as he feared, the shorts show off his legs. "I look stupid!" he complains.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," says Manny. _"I_ think you look cute."

 _Well, thanks for trying to be nice, but I look like an idiot. If I_ have _to die, can't I at_ least _die in my normal clothes?_ "All right." Matt takes ten deep breaths in an effort to believe that he can do this. "Okay. I think I’m ready."

Manny beams apologetically. "Let’s go out in style."

They step back into the lounge, dressed like an identical pair of workout models. "All right, guys," says Mortimer. "So these are your Strong Men."

Everyone stares at them. Some, like Rosanna, smile. Others, like Safiya, seem slightly weirded out. Manny poses for the crowd. Matt, on the other hand, wishes that the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

Then, Mortimer makes it worse. "The rest of you are gonna come watch."

 _No._ Matt's muscles freeze in place. _I don't want Ro to see this. I don't want her to have to watch me die._

He's holding out hope that he'll be able to survive this challenge, but he's an analytical man, and he knows that his odds do _not_ look good against Manny "May or May Not Be Related to the Actual Hulk" Mua. If Matt wants to live, he'll have to defy the odds, or, at the very least, manipulate them in his favor. _Maybe it won't be_ all _about strength,_ he thinks. _Maybe there will be an element of intelligence involved._

His eyes travel to his left hand, where a golden ring glistens on his finger.

 

As the group heads outside, Safiya feels a pit in her stomach. _I'm about to watch my friend die._ This will be true no matter _who_ fails to survive the Strong Man. She likes Matt and Manny both. Losing either one will be a _massive_ blow to their dwindling group.

_Gosh, the night keeps getting colder._

"Safiya?"

Safiya traces the outline of the Lazarus coin in her pocket as she turns to face Matt. "Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a _huge_ favor?"

"Sure."

"If I don't make it," he pleads, "take care of Ro. She's a fighter, but she needs people to help her keep fighting."

 _You'll make it,_ Safiya wants to say, but she's not in the mood to lie to him. "I will, Matt." She glances at the door just in time to see the little Jet Setter emerge, holding Matt's badge close to her heart. "I promise."

 

Matt's secured promises from both Manny and Safiya to look after Rosanna if the worst happens. Now, it's time for him to say goodbye (temporarily or permanently) to Rosanna Pansino herself.

She catches him in a close embrace. Her hair falls around his shoulders, and her tears blend together with his. "I love you, Matt." Her tiny voice hovers like a hummingbird in the air.

"I love you too, Ro," he whispers automatically, holding her tight.

The rest remains unspoken.

 

"This _isn't_ goodbye," Nikita tells Manny. "You'll kick his ass. I know you will. And if you don't, I'll kick theirs. Understand?" She hugs him. "I'm _not_ letting you go."

Manny chuckles. "Don't worry, Nikita. I'm not going anywhere. I'm the strongest bitch here, remember? I'll make it. I promise."

"I'm holding you to it," is her blunt reply.

After Nikita lets Manny go, he and Matt come up to compete. The Strong Man and Veronica stand on the other side of the clearing, along with two giant tires, various other exercise equipment, and a glass case with a leather band inside. It occurs to Manny that he's never even _watched_ (let _alone_ competed in) a death challenge before. Are the monsters here to watch it all go down? Probably.

Mortimer hands Manny the directions.

_The first to win three of five feats of strength will be the victor._

"All right," says Matt. "So what's the first feat?"

Calliope points to the tires. "You must each take a tire and pull it across the clearing," she explains. "Whoever crosses the finish line first wins."

"Good luck!" calls Colleen.

The boys walk to their task. "Step right up, stupid!" spits Veronica as Manny and Matt grab the ropes that are attached to their respective tires.

 _Okay._ Manny ties his rope around his waist. _I need to run low and give myself some traction. If I try to go high, I'll get tired out too easily, so I gotta go low._ He sucks in a shaky breath, trying not to pay attention to the murderous flash of crimson in the Strong Man's eyes. _Strength, don't fail me now._

Mortimer waves his arm like a starting flag. "Begin!"

Manny runs, making sure to stay as low as possible. He pulls the tire along with him. It's heavy, and it's exhausting, but his friends' cheers propel him to the finish line. He wins easily.

 _I did it. I_ smoked _him. Manny 1, Matt 0._

 

Matt's _not_ off to a great start, but then again, that's only one event down. He can still come from behind. He _has_ to. For his family's sake, for the group's sake, for Rosanna's sake, and for his _own_ sake as well.

Next on the agenda: a shot-put event. _Now_ this _is more my speed,_ thinks Matt as he studies the balls in front of him. Shot-put is all based on technique, and he knows that by running towards the line and _then_ launching the ball, he'll be able to gain more momentum in his throw. _It's all physics._ Those words are tragically familiar, but they're his only chance at life.

He takes a few steps back, races forward, and heaves the shot-put ball into the air. It lands a good distance away from him.

"Not bad!" Veronica admits.

_Thank you, science!_

It's Manny's turn. "Look how weak he is!" laughs Veronica as the Record Producer prepares his throw.

"Exactly!" snorts the Strong Man.

Manny clearly has no idea what he's doing. He attempts to copy Matt's momentum technique, but his ball doesn't go as far as Matt's. This provokes another laugh from Veronica.

Matt grins. _I'm on the board. It's not over yet._

 

 _Matt won a thing!_ Rosanna resists the urge to dance in the streets of Everlock. _That's my best friend, everyone! Isn't he amazing?_

Colleen looks shocked. Nikita looks scared. Safiya looks like she's watching football on TV.

"Good job, Matt," says Joey.

Rosanna clutches Matt's badge. _I'll give it back to him if he wins,_ she decides. _Then, Matt can be the new sheriff in town. Everlock needs a_ good _cop, not a bully who picks on innocent people._ She imagines Matt as the Lone Ranger, and she giggles.

 

 _Damn,_ Manny sighs. _I didn't know Matt was so good at throwing balls._ He's starting to get nervous. _What if I_ actually _lose? What if the Strong Man kills me? What if Nikita tries to save me and gets hurt?_ His heart breaks at the thought.

Feat of Strength Number Three involves hoisting two buckets high in the air and keeping them there for as long as possible. Also, the buckets are full of water. _So this is an endurance contest,_ realizes Manny. _The only real strategy is "don't drop the goddamn buckets." All right. I can do this._

"Let's see who's stronger!" Veronica crows.

Mortimer's basically the referee now. "Begin, guys!"

Manny lifts his arms, a bucket in each hand, a completely blank expression on his face. The pails feel like two-ton bricks. He blocks out the pain by thinking of all the places that he'd rather be.

"Come on, guys!"

"Keep those buckets up!"

"Higher!"

As if things weren't hard enough, Veronica whacks one of Manny's buckets with her nightstick, then proceeds to tickle him. He instinctively cracks a smile, but he's fuming internally. _What the hell is this chick's problem? Does she_ want _to watch me die?_ He knows in his heart that the answer is yes.

The guests on the sidelines are all talking at once. Matt's arms convulse. Manny, too, starts to shake, and he can feel himself beginning to freak out. _Come on. Keep going. Little bit longer. Almost got it. Don't give up._

Matt stomps his foot, squirms for five more seconds, then goes down. Manny's officially back in the lead.

 

Nikita knows that she's supposed to be a bystander or whatever, but she is _not_ about to let these bastards make a mockery out of her friends. Especially not Manny. _No one_ messes with Manny and gets away with it!

"You're a bitch!" she shouts at the Strong Man's ugly girlfriend. "By the way, my shoes are better, even though we're wearing the same." She turns to the Strong Man. "And you need to be working that other arm, because that arm's too big."

The freaky woman glares at her, but she _literally_ couldn't care less. She can take her. She can probably even take the Strong Man, she's so invested.

Whatever. It's not her fight.

 _Come on, Manny. You're_ so _close. You_ better _not die on me, I swear to God…_

 

This is too much. Matt's arms and shoulders feel like they're going to spontaneously combust. _I_ can't _lose again._ He winces. _I'm_ doomed _if I lose again._

For the fourth contest, Mortimer produces two dumbbells for each boy. "You gotta take them all the way down to Fat Man Slims, and all the way back," he informs them.

"Don't stop, you guys!" encourages Rosanna.

 _I won't, Ro. I'll_ never _stop._

"Go!"

Matt runs. There's a dumbbell in his left hand, a dumbbell in his right hand, and an ocean's worth of sweat on his face. He keeps his gaze fixed on the neon lights of Fat Man Slims. _Don't look at Manny,_ he reminds himself. _Run your own race. Focus on the prize. That's all that matters._

He reaches the edge of Fat Man Slims and turns on his heel. His body aches, and he hears someone slip, but he ignores both of those things.

"Come on!" His voice is raw in his throat. "Come on!"

Adrenaline sends him across the finish line. He drops the dumbbells and sees that he has won. _Oh, thank God._ For a moment, images of those he loves fill his mind, and he dreams that he'll see them again.

Mortimer shrugs. "It's time for a tiebreaker."

"They can just stay!" suggests Rosanna.

"They can just stay!" Nikita agrees.

But neither Mortimer nor Calliope acknowledge the girls' proposal. Instead, they bring out an all-too-familiar table.

 _Oh._ Matt feels a dull sense of resignation. _Hello, arm wrestling, my old friend._

 

 _Matt, I love you,_ thinks Manny sadly as he preps for the final battle, _and I've loved you since the beginning, but this is_ literally _a fight to the death, and I don't wanna die, so I'm gonna try to win. I'm sorry. Please don't hate me._

"Omigod, I don't like this, I don't like this, I don't like this," simpers Joey. Manny's tempted to punch him in the face.

The combatants get into position. "You ready?" asks Mortimer. After both boys nod, he raises his arms, and the fight begins.

The last arm wrestling match between Manny and Matt was good-natured and, while competitive, not at all dangerous. Manny remembers wanting to keep it going for as long as possible. This time, he just wants to get it over with.

But Matt's not making things easy for him.

 _What the hell, Matt?_ Manny's channeling all of his strength into bringing the match to a quick and merciful end, and yet, Matt's arm is _still_ upright. _You were_ not _this strong before!_

"Come on, Manny!" Nikita yells at the top of her lungs, drowning everyone else out. "Manny! Manny! Manny!"

 

Matt grits his teeth, tightens his muscles, and fights. It's all that's left to do. Manny won last time, and neither of them have grown any stronger or weaker in the forty-five minutes since then, so every ounce of logic dictates that Matt's about to die...but an overpowering desire to live burns within his soul, and it's that fire that powers him through his final feat of strength.

"You got no chance, buddy!" the Strong Man sneers. "No chance! Oh, this is it!"

 _He's angry,_ Matt notices. _He wants blood._

The Detective squeezes his hand rest so hard that _both_ of his hands feel like they're falling off. All he can see are his teetering arm, Manny, and perspiration. His chest hurts. His fire continues to burn.

Everyone's shouting for someone. Their voices are indistinguishable from each other.

Manny's halfway done with Matt, but even now, when all hope seems lost, everything that makes Matt who he is screams _survive._ "No!" He redoubles his defensive efforts. He won't give up. He _can't_ give up.

Not while Rosanna watches him fight.

Not while Stephanie waits for him at home.

Not while Ollie has yet to be born.

As he said before, he's not going down until his fist touches the damn table. He's going to make Manny _work_ for that win.

 

One by one, Manny turns off his brain, his heart, and his conscience, until he's nothing more than the power that flows through his body like water down a river. He doesn't think. He only feels the need to stay alive.

His face twists into a stubborn snarl, and finally, he slams Matt's arm against the white pad. Joey gasps. Nikita rejoices. Matt collapses into despair.

Immediately, everything turns back on. _I won!_ is Manny's first coherent thought in five minutes as he breathes a sigh of relief. _I'm the strongest! I'm not gonna die! I'm not...gonna..._

His victory falls apart the instant he catches sight of his vanquished opponent.

_Matt..._

 

"You ready to die?" the Strong Man growls.

 _No!_ A tidal wave of panic scrambles Matt's thoughts. He rises to his feet. His mouth drops open in horror. _I'm not ready! I_ have _to go home! This_ can't _be the end! It_ can't _be!_

"You're gonna die!"

_Wait…the coin…the Lazarus box…_

"Look for the coin!" he screams to his friends as the Strong Man grabs him by his throat. "Look for the coin! Look for the Lazarus coin!" He's doomed, he's dead, he can't breathe, it _hurts,_ but he's still got a tiny bit of hope, and by God, he's going to hold on to that hope until the world comes crashing down around him.

"Matt!" sobs Rosanna from somewhere in the distance, and Matt thinks _get her out of here, please, don't let her watch._ "Omigod, no! _Matt!"_

Matt struggles, but he's no match for the Strong Man, and so he's thrown against the dirt. _I'm gonna die_ and _I can't die_ rocket through his mind all at once, followed by an image of Stephanie's smile. _I'll find you, Steph,_ he thinks desperately. _I don't know how, but I'll find you._

The beating begins. He tastes blood and tears. The first and second blows are explosions of pain in his broken head, but through it all, he clings to his Lazarus theory like a man clinging to a life preserver. _I have to be right. It has to be true. They have…they have to save us…_

He's still trying to convince himself that he'll come back when the third blow demolishes his skull. His once-powerful brain shuts down for good, and it doesn't take long for the rest of his body to do the same.

 

Later, Manny won't remember grabbing the leather band from its now-open case, or escorting the others away, or even being the last to enter the lounge. All he'll remember are the awful squishing sounds that accompany the grisly death of Matthew "MatPat" Patrick.

Once the six survivors are back inside, Manny's trembling hands fasten the leather band around the Demonic Configuration. It glows eerily. An agonizing roar from outside indicates that the Strong Man won't be bothering them any longer.

Manny places the artifact with the others. He rubs his hands together, and he makes sure that his fake smile is perfectly painted before he turns to his remaining friends. "Just for the record," he announces, "the strongest man..." He gestures to his own pretty face. "Full face of makeup." With that, he flounces back to his seat.

As soon as he sits down, his expression droops. He's thrilled at the fact that he's still breathing, but at the same time, he's devastated.

 _Did we just_ really _mess up?_

 

Safiya's trying not to feel hopeless, but the fact is, they just lost one of the best players among them, and it shows on everyone's faces. Colleen slumps. Rosanna cries. Joey stares at the floor. Even Calliope chokes back tears as she slides Matt's Detective card into the ticket box.

It's as if the group's happiness died with him.

Well, at least they've found one of the Lazarus coins. Safiya takes it out and puts it on the table, as if to remind the group that there's still something to fight for. _Once we've found the other coin..._ She wants to finish that sentence, but to be honest, she _still_ hasn't solved the Lazarus mystery.

 _"Look for the coin,"_ he said.

What did he know?

 

Rosanna feels like she's been forced to watch a litter of puppies get shot, one by one, all while she herself slowly suffocated. Matt's gone. Her best friend, her unofficial brother, her platonic other half... _gone._ Dead. Murdered. For what? A stupid leather band?

It wasn't worth it. None of this death and destruction will _ever_ be worth it, but _especially_ not this.

 _Poor Stephanie._ Her heart sinks at the thought of Matt's pregnant wife. _And that poor baby…fatherless…it's horrible...too horrible…_

She still has his Detective badge. It feels cold in her hands, like the coldness in his voice when he proclaimed his loss of faith in justice. _It's okay,_ she thinks to it. _I'll be your owner now. You're all I have left of him, so I'm going to take good care of you until I make it home to 2018. That way, it'll be like he's still with me, and I won't feel so alone._

One of the many reasons Rosanna loved _(loves,_ dangit, she still loves him, she's _never_ going to stop loving him) Matt is because he was a team player. His last words were _"look for the Lazarus coin."_ Even in his final moments, he supported them. He _cared_ for them.

Now, they have to do the same for him.

They'll grant his dying wish. They'll find the second Lazarus coin, even if they have to destroy heaven and earth to do it. They'll honor Matthew "MatPat" Patrick, his mission, and his legacy, and they'll never, _ever_ forget him for as long as they live.

Who knows? Perhaps she'll see him again, in another life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Matt. It's a shame it had to end like this.  
> Next chapter: The obligatory break chapter, which is composed of a bunch of missing scenes!


	30. For Those We've Loved and Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After everything that's happened to them, our six survivors need a moment to count their losses and recover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession time: nothing that happens in this chapter was shown in the TV show. The breather chapter has become a staple of this series at this point, so here's the third one. Enjoy!

At long last, all of Joey's cards are on the table, and he has nothing left to hide from the group. But revealing his secret came with a terrible price: the loss of yet another friend. Not just _any_ friend, either, but _Matt,_ who was so smart, so brave, so selfless... _and I killed him, just like I killed Liza, just like I always kill everyone who matters. The voices were right. I_ can't _save them. I should've just stayed dead._

For a solid minute, no one speaks. None of them are ready to move on.

It's Nikita who breaks the silence. "Okay, I need a drink," she declares in a sour tone of voice, "and Manny needs to change clothes. Let's take a goddamn _break_ for once in our lives."

Joey nods solemnly. "I agree. Ten minutes."

Everyone goes their separate ways.

 

Colleen thinks of Jc, the calm boy with curly hair who solved an impossible problem in no time flat. She thinks of Roi, her little RV buddy, the bright-eyed hero who only wanted to protect everyone. She thinks of Teala, who _might've_ been a useless ditz, but who _still_ didn't deserve this horrible town. Last but not least, she thinks of Matt, their MVP, their golden boy, on whose shoulders she placed her final ounce of hope for a way back home. The four of them dance in front of her eyes, with _gone, gone, gone, gone_ stamped across their faces in permanent ink.

She's exhausted. She feels like she's spent the last five hours of her life fruitlessly attempting to delay an inevitable tragedy. _I just came for a collab,_ she sighs. _I didn't come to fight for my life while watching my friends drop like flies around me._

She knows the story, of course. Everyone does. Seven YouTubers last year. Eight more the year before that. All dead now. They blamed it on serial killers, threw up a bunch of tributes, and tried to move on. _Never again,_ they told her.

But that was another lie, wasn't it?

 _God,_ she hates lies. She hates the taste of them in her mouth, and she hates the sound of them in her ears. Why do people lie? Why can't everyone be honest with each other? Why can't _Joey_ be honest with _her?_

 _Because he's dangerous now,_ she remembers. _None of this would've happened if it wasn't for him._

A month ago, when he was still a missing person, she would've given _anything_ to bring him safely home to 2018. Now, she hates him, but her hate is the regretful kind of hate, the kind that could've easily been avoided if things had gone differently. _He thinks that he can just cry his way through a stupid sob story and make everything better,_ her heart fumes. _And they fell for it._ That's _why Matt's dead. Because the monster that used to be Joey manipulated the group into saving_ his _ass instead. If I can't make my friends wake up and see him for who he really is, he'll kill us all, and he won't feel a thing._

Everyone's left the lounge now, except for Safiya Nygaard, who's halfway out the door before Colleen frantically cries "Safiya!"

"Colleen?" She turns around. "Are you okay?"

Colleen shakes her head. "Don't trust Joey," she begs her befuddled companion. "Please. As soon as we can kill someone again, it _has_ to be him. It _can't_ be anyone else."

"I _don't_ trust him," says Safiya calmly, "but I'd rather not vote for him just yet. We should probably keep him around if we're going to get out of here alive. After all, he might have more information that will be helpful to us."

Colleen can't believe her ears. "More information? _More information?_ Who _cares_ about that? Four of our friends are _dead!"_ Her voice shakes with the tears that she's not letting herself cry. "And he doesn't care. He brought us here _specifically_ to die. Jc…Roi…Teala…Matt…they weren't people to him, they were cannon fodder!"

"Colleen, please…"

"I'm _scared_ of him, Saf. I'm scared he'll kill _me_ next."

 

Safiya knows that Colleen has a point. It _was_ Joey who invited them here, and it _was_ Joey who said he was going to the bathroom and instead went to stare at a bridge. _Not everyone in town is telling the truth,_ they were warned, and although Joey _finally_ poured his heart out to them twenty minutes ago, how can they be sure that he meant what he said?

 _He was crying,_ Safiya recalls. _His voice trembled as he spoke._ She doesn't consider herself someone who's easily fooled by displays of fake emotion, but the sorrowful pain on Joey's face seemed genuine. Either he's become a skilled actor over the course of the last nine months, or he _was_ being honest, and he _did_ die.

But that doesn't make any sense. Aren't things supposed to make sense?

Well, it doesn't matter right now. She has more important things to worry about. For instance, Rosanna, who ran out of the lounge the second the break began, tears in her eyes, Matt's badge in her hands, Calliope trailing after her. Safiya promised Matt that she would take care of the little Jet Setter for him, and she intends to fulfill that promise. She _has_ to find her before the demons do.

"I want a chance to think things through before I make a decision," she tells Colleen. "I'll let you know when I've figured him out, but I can't talk right now. I gotta go find Ro."

Colleen deflates. Safiya can tell that the Disco Dancer's faith is dying. "Okay. Go find her. But don't forget—"

Safiya leaves before she can hear what she shouldn't forget.

She steps out into the night, and she sees Matt's dead leg sticking out from behind a nearby barrel. Fortunately, the barrel hides the rest of him, so she's spared the sight of what's left of his head. _We could've been friends,_ she thinks sadly. _We really weren't that different._

"Ro?" Her voice echoes throughout Everlock. "Ro, where are you?"

No answer.

"Ro!"

_"She's a fighter, but she needs people to help her keep fighting."_

Safiya tucks her dark hair behind her ears. She'll find Rosanna. She won't let her die. She'll get her out of Everlock in one (admittedly small) piece, even if she has to sacrifice her _own_ life in the process. She'll pick up where Matt left off. She'll save her.

She's good at saving people.

 

Joey feels lost. He wanders through the streets of Everlock in a daze, not going anywhere, not caring what happens next. As he walks, the list returns to his brain.

_Shane Dawson, poisoned._

"No." He stops dead in his tracks. His hands become fists. "Not again. I _get_ it, okay?"

_Andrea Brooks, gassed to death._

"I know! I'm working on it!"

_Justine Ezarik, buried alive._

He's paralyzed by the sound of Justine, his old best friend, screaming for him to save her. "Stop it!" He covers his ears. "I don't want to hear it anymore! I know what I did! I'm trying to fix it! I'm trying—"

_GloZell Green, killed by a murder journal._

Joey's crying now. "I'm _sorry!"_ he screams, but the dead don't care.

_Sierra Furtado, died during an exorcism. Matt Haag, poisoned. Timothy DeLaGhetto, shot himself. Lele Pons, electrocuted._

Every name is another stab to the heart.

 

Manny doesn't think that his white T-shirt and red booty shorts are cute anymore. He wants to get out of them as quickly as possible, and then, he wants to burn them in the world's biggest bonfire. _Screw these shorts._ He nearly breaks off the door handle on his way into the bathroom. _And screw Everlock, too._

He's quivering with grief as he changes back into his nice, cozy, familiar green jumpsuit. His heart feels like it's been shot to pieces. His mind's a wreck of could've-dones. Everything inside him screams in agony, and not even the lip gloss in his pocket is enough to make him feel better. _It's not fair._ He's _sick_ of losing people. _Especially_ people he cares about. It's like this town is _trying_ to drive him insane.

Just as he finishes putting his rings back on, he happens to spot _another_ set of clothes, scattered on the floor of the adjacent stall. A white shirt. An orange coat. A tie. A pair of green checkered pants. Some orange-tinted sunglasses.

_I can't leave them like this._

Manny collects Matt's outfit, smooths it out as best he can, folds each article of clothing individually, and creates a neat little pile of laundry. The sunglasses go on top of the pile, like the finishing touch on the world's worst art project. It looks nice, and it's easy for Manny to carry, but _ugh,_ he wishes he didn't have to be the cleanup crew around here. Why can't Matt come back and take care of his _own_ damn things? Come to think of it, why can't _everyone_ come back?

This was supposed to be a fun mission to save a town. Why couldn't it stay that way?

Mortimer's waiting outside the bathroom. "Hey." Manny shoves Matt's Detective getup into Mortimer's arms. "Put these somewhere safe, okay? Maybe when we get out of here, we can...I don't know...give them to his family, I guess. Or something." He runs away.

To be honest, it's _his_ fault Matt's dead. He was _right_ there. He could've saved him, but _no,_ he _had_ to be a bitch about it, and now...he's alive, that's great, hooray, but they've lost one of the smartest (if not _the_ smartest) in the group. If Manny survives this shit, he's going to have nightmares about the moment he let MatPat die to save himself.

 _I wish I could just..._ He searches for the right words to finish his thought, and eventually, he finds them. _...not care. I never wanna feel anything ever again. It hurts too much. Why can't I be more like Nikita?_

His best friend's stony face fills his mind. She's _so_ strong. She _never_ lets things get to her. In fact, he hasn't seen her show an ounce of sadness at _any_ of the deaths so far. How does she do it? Was she _born_ with that amount of sheer badassery, or is it something that can be taught?

Well, at least _she's_ still alive.

Manny leaves the arcade and makes a beeline for Fat Man Slims. It's time for him to go be with his girl.

 

Nikita's already gone ahead and ordered two drinks from the bartender. One is something she's never tried before, but she's the Troublemaker, and Lord knows she's an expert at taking risks, so she tries it. It's not bad. It has its issues, but it's not bad.

The other is Manny's favorite drink, and that's what she pushes towards him as soon as he collapses into the seat across from hers. He picks it up, sighs, and reluctantly takes a sip.

"So." She tries to break the awkward ice. "You did _great_ out there."

"Mm."

 _Oh, dammit. He's upset._ "You okay?" It's not a question. It's an invitation.

"I'm fine."

"Bullshit. What's up? Talk to me."

"I just...it's like...what happened to Matt..." Teardrops dangle from his eyelashes. "I liked him a lot. I really did. I didn't want him to die. I didn't want _any_ of them to die, Nikita! It's not fair!" He looks like he's about to fall apart. "I know, I know, I gotta be strong, but we screwed up. We screwed up real bad. And I feel like we're just gonna keep screwing up, over and over, until it kills us. _God,_ I hate this place…"

Nikita’s heart hurts looking at him. "Manny, listen." She takes his hand across the table. "Don't think about it, all right? You're alive. Focus on that. Look out for number one. You have to put yourself above everyone else here if you're gonna get out of this dumbass town."

"Even you?" Manny asks. "Do I put myself above you?"

Nikita doesn't know how to answer that, so they sip their drinks in silence for a few minutes.

Manny bites his lip. "You know…I just realized...there are six of us left, and there are four artifacts left. Does that mean only two of us are gonna make it home?"

"Yeah," says Nikita, who did the math long ago. "You and me. I promise. I'll make sure of it." This batshit crazy carnival can take whoever else it wants, but it's not taking her, and it's _not_ taking Manny. For him, she'd burn the whole place to the ground. "Manny, I love you."

"I love you too, Nikita."

It's her, then him, then everyone else. That's her pecking order, and she's sticking to it.

 

_Lauren Riihimaki, eaten by vampires. Jesse Wellens, eaten by Jorogumo._

At this point, Joey's more depressed than ever. He leans against a popcorn cart, his forehead soaked with sweat, his eyes moist with familiar waterfalls.

_DeStorm Power, shot with an arrow. Liza Koshy, throat slit._

He remembers what he did to her and slams his head against the cart.

_Tana Mongeau, stomach sliced open. Gabbie Hanna, heart ripped out._

Joey winces at the thought of Gabbie's demise. He wants to forget. It would be so much easier to forget.

_Alison, torn apart by werewolves. Alex Wassabi, stabbed to death._

But he _can't_ forget. Not until he's made things right.

 

Rosanna runs through Everlock as fast as her short legs can carry her. _What was the riddle again?_ she wonders. _Something about coffins and men who need them?_ She'll figure it out. For Matt.

"Rosanna?" It's Calliope, a concerned look on her face. "Are you all right? Where are you going?"

Rosanna's fingers curl around Matt's badge. "To the pump station."

_"Look for the coin! Look for the coin! Look for the Lazarus coin!"_

"I will go with you," says Calliope, and Rosanna appreciates the company.

Together, the two women travel to the pump station. On the way there, Rosanna lingers in her memories of everyone who died: Jc, Roi, Teala, and, worst of all, Matt. All of them came to Everlock with the goal of saving it, and all of them were forced to give up their lives to further that goal. In the end, Everlock will (hopefully) be rescued, but Rosanna _still_ doesn't believe that their mission is worth all this death. She'll _die_ before she believes such an awful thing.

They reach the pump station, but the locked container isn't there anymore. Rosanna turns pale. "I don't understand," she squeaks, her voice a weak shadow of the natural cheer it once carried. "It was here before. Where did it go?"

"I don't know," admits Calliope.

"No!" Rosanna bursts into sobs. Her heart is breaking all over again. "No, no, no! It _has_ to be here! We _have_ to find it! Matt _said_ we have to—"

"Ro! There you are!"

Safiya has arrived. She throws her arms around Rosanna, and Rosanna cries into her friend's sweater. "The coin!" the Jet Setter wails. "It's _gone!"_

"We'll find it again," Safiya reassures her. "It can't have gone far. Coins don't just get up and walk away." She pulls out of their hug, but she keeps her right arm around Rosanna. "Come on. Let's look for it. You too, Calliope."

 _Yes,_ Rosanna agrees internally. _We_ have _to look for it. The sooner we find it, the sooner we can open the Lazarus box, and the sooner Matt's soul can rest in peace._

She glances at the badge in her palm. It's small, and it doesn't look like much, but her best friend once wore it on his hip as a symbol of the good he hoped to accomplish in Everlock. Now, it's her last link to him. She's going to keep it with her, and, because she loves him, she's going to finish what he started. After all, despite what he might've proclaimed, she still believes in justice.

"Don’t worry, Matt," she whispers to the badge, as if it's really him, as if he never really left her at all. "I'll find the coin, just like you said. I promise."

She closes her eyes and listens for his voice, but all she hears is the wind.

 

_Jc Caylen, stabbed to death. Roi Fabito, poisoned by the Snake Woman._

"Shut up!" Joey yells at the top of his lungs as he races back to the arcade. "Shut up, shut up, _shut up!"_ He doesn't want to hear any more names. He _knows_ his sins. He doesn't need to be reminded of all the people he sacrificed for his survival.

_Teala Dunn, strangled._

He makes it back to the arcade. He refuses to look at what's there. "Please," he whimpers. "Please stop."

_Matthew "MatPat" Patrick, beaten to death._

There he is. The latest name to join the list. How many are there now? Twenty? Twenty. Twenty good men and women, dead because of him. Will the nightmare _ever_ end? Or is he doomed to add new names for the rest of his stolen life?

He doesn't know. He only knows that he must complete his quest to save Everlock from the Carnival Master. Then, maybe, he'll have a chance to see his friends again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Things can always get worse. Also, Colleen flirts with Mortimer, Nikita totally isn't jealous, and Rosanna still misses her Dipper.


	31. It Gets Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, four YouTubers are dead, but the remaining six have a _lot_ more problems to deal with. Colleen is one of those problems. A creepy doll is another.

Joey's the first to join Manny and Nikita in Fat Man Slims. Two minutes later, Rosanna and Safiya arrive, and Rosanna orders a pint of beer in a voice too rough for a girl of her size and disposition. Last but not least, Colleen Ballinger trudges into the pub.

 _Does she still hate me?_ Joey wonders, although he's almost certain that the answer is yes.

"I'm _over_ this!" Colleen complains as soon as she receives her drink. _"All_ of my friends are dying! Matt was one of our last hopes. Now, he's _dead_ because of Joey, thank you so much."

Joey knows she's right, but just like with Liza, he's unable to admit it to the group. "If anyone, blame _Manny!"_ he exclaims, gesturing to the clearly rattled Record Producer. _"Manny's_ the one who went up—"

Manny gulps. "Me?"

"You went up against him!"

"Cause I'm the strongest bitch here," Manny shoots back, but he doesn't deny it.

"Nobody misses him more than I do," whimpers Rosanna. "I miss him _so_ much." She wanders over to the group's table in a heartbroken daze, and Safiya is there to comfort her.

At this point, Colleen's the only member of the group who isn't at the main table with the others. Instead, she's sitting on top of Mortimer's table. Joey wishes that he cared, but to be honest, he doesn't. She can go somewhere else. He doesn't need her support.

Matt's last words pop into his head. "We _need_ to find that coin," he declares, "and I'm gonna make it my mission to do that." If he _has_ to prove himself, he will.

 

Colleen's out of faith. She failed to make Safiya see the truth about Joey, and she didn't even get a _chance_ with any of the others. Matt's still dead. Why are they trying? Why can't they just let themselves be _happy_ for once?

"Listen up, guys." She adorns her face with a plastic smile. "I've come to the conclusion we're all gonna die anyway, so we might as well just enjoy our last moments."

"Cheers to that," says Nikita, raising her glass.

All Colleen wants is to forget about Everlock, monsters, death, and Joey Graceffa. Fortunately, there's a cute boy here to help her do just that. "I don't wanna be around Joey," she whispers to Mortimer, "cause I'm positive he's lying, so why don't you and I just..." She touches his arm. "...leave together?" She feels bad about this, _especially_ since she has a boyfriend who she loves very much, but hey, it's not like she's ever going to _see_ Erik again. Not at the rate things are going, anyway.

Mortimer tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I would honestly _love_ to do that."

"Let's just go upstairs," she croons. "They're gonna die anyway."

"I mean, _we're_ gonna die anyway," he corrects her.

 _That's right,_ she thinks as she gets lost in his dreamy dark eyes. _As long as Joey lives,_ none _of us are going home._

 

Nikita can hear every word of Mortimer and Colleen's conversation from where she's sitting, but she ignores the rising temperature of her boiling blood. She's not mad. Colleen can do whatever the hell she wants. It's _her_ life. If she wants to go sleep with some _boy,_ she can do that. That's how people die in horror movies.

"Colleen," snaps Joey, "what are you _doing?"_

Nikita shakes her head. "Let her live her own damn fantasy."

"Live it!" Manny agrees.

Honestly, Mortimer was _so_ four hours ago. Nikita's been too busy fighting for her life to focus on a stupid crush. _Can't go all gooey-eyed when your life is at stake,_ she grumbles to herself. _That's a lesson_ most _of us have learned by now. Besides, Mortimer's a player, and boys like that don't deserve me._

Joey looks pissed. "All right, Colleen!" he shouts. "Enough is enough! Get over here! We have work to do!"

As if on cue, Calliope appears with the map. "Something has changed on the map."

Colleen reluctantly joins the main table, and Nikita feels a rush of smug satisfaction.

 

Rosanna doesn't want to find another artifact, or face another scary monster, or lose another friend. She just wants to look for the Lazarus coin. Yeah, she, Safiya, and Calliope didn't find it during their break, but it has to be _somewhere._

Safiya reads the new words on the map.

_There will be blood on all of your hands. The price of being a hero in this town of horrors._

_Blood on our hands?_ Rosanna almost cries again. _I don't want any more blood on our hands! We've killed enough people already, haven't we?_

"What else is new on here?" asks Colleen, examining the map.

Joey points to a building that wasn't there before. "The Dollmaker's Shoppe."

"No!" Manny shouts.

Rosanna agrees with him. "Creepy dolls are the _worst."_ She remembers the empty-eyed dolls she's seen in movies, and she makes a disgusted face. "Creepy."

_The Dollmaker's children have changed. They want to spin in circles, but keep fighting over which horse to ride and ripping each other's eyes out. The Dollmaker promised them a surprise if they got along. Maybe you can help?_

"All right." Safiya, who's now the undisputed brains of the group, gets right to business. "So clearly, they're gonna be dolls. But what about the horses?"

Nikita shrugs. "Spinning in circles? That's obviously the merry-go-round."

Joey gasps. "Let's go to the merry-go-round," he suggests.

"Horses! Merry-go-round!" Manny realizes. "Duh!"

"Good job, Nikita," says Joey. "Let's go." He heads for the door, and the others follow him.

"Come on, lover boy," snarks Calliope to a grinning Mortimer.

Rosanna is _terrified._ She doesn't like demonic dolls! Is someone about to be killed by a _doll?_ Is _that_ how this will end? The clown lady _did_ mention dolls with knives at the beginning of this mission, and Matt...Matt was _so_ afraid...

_At least he's safe from them now._

 

They go out to the merry-go-round, and they see a box and a big red button waiting for them. Safiya recognizes the button as the one that the head clown pressed to start the carousel. _Did that really only happen a few hours ago?_ she muses. _It seems like an_ eternity's _passed since then._

Nikita raises her hand over the button, an almost giddy expression on her face. "Can I do it?"

"Yeah." Manny nods. "Press it."

So Nikita pushes the button, and the carousel starts spinning.

"Omigod," gulps Joey.

"It worked!" gasps Colleen.

"There it goes," says Manny.

"The box opened!" Colleen points. "The box opened!"

Safiya looks inside the box, where she finds a strange doll's head that looks like it's made out of either leather or a dead fish. It comes with a note. "All right." Safiya takes the note out and, for the nine thousandth time, reads aloud to everyone.

_The Night Killer's doll is split in two: the body and the head. To begin cleansing the doll, you must find the body and reconnect the head. But be careful! The Dollmaker's children were corrupted by the artifact._

"Oh, God," Nikita groans.

Safiya agrees. Their latest task does not sound at _all_ appealing. But if it has to be done, it has to be done.

"We need to find a body," remarks Joey.

"I'm thinking the Dollmaker's place," says Nikita. "That's the only place."

Mortimer seconds the Troublemaker's idea. "She's got a good point."

The six surviving YouTubers, plus Mortimer and Calliope, head off for the Dollmaker's Shoppe. Safiya's stomach hurts.

 

"Wait!" As soon as they reach the Dollmaker's Shoppe, Colleen's eyes go wide. "There's _feet!"_

She's right. There are little tiny doll feet all over the place. _Already_ a bad sign. "Follow the trail," sighs Manny, even though what he _wants_ to say is _why?!?_

"There we go," says Safiya. "There's another one."

"There it is. There it goes." _Holy hell, who left all these_ feet _out here?_

They follow the feet like a trail of breadcrumbs out of freakin' Hansel and Gretel, and eventually, Colleen manages to find something. "Wait! There's a _key_ on this one!"

Manny struggles to stay calm. "We have a key now." At least the foot trail was good for something.

"Here's a lock!" points out Colleen.

The lock is on a freaky-ass door in a _super_ sketchy part of town. Manny does _not_ like the look of it. "There's a lock in here."

"Yeah," says Nikita. "That was the last one." Even _she_ seems disturbed.

"We have a key." Colleen tries it on the door.

Mortimer bites his lip. "Let's get inside, guys."

The lock clicks open. "It worked!" Joey cheers.

Manny feels like he's watching a horror movie, starring him and his friends, and he's yelling at himself on the screen. _"Don't go in there, you dumb bitch!"_

They're walking in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Who doesn't love some nice torture in the morning? Also, Safiya and Nikita get dangerous.


	32. Fear, Pain, and Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The six surviving YouTubers have to do a lot of messed-up stuff. There's fear. There's pain. There's blood. It's basically a typical Saturday morning for Joey at this point.

It was easy for Colleen to give up hope during break time, when she was left with nothing but furious grief, shady former friends, and alcohol. But now that she's back on the clue-solving circuit, her will to live returns in the form of an intense adrenaline rush. She _has_ to live. She _won't_ give Joey Graceffa what he wants.

So, even as Manny mumbles something about how it "doesn't feel right," Colleen is the first to step through the creepy door.

She is greeted with what appears to be a torture chamber for dolls. Dismembered doll parts are scattered everywhere, along with various awful-looking torture devices, a string of naked doll babies tied together, cabinets covered with cobwebs, and an empty-eyed stone head. Colleen wants to nope right out of here, but, of course, she can't do that.

Safiya's "omigod" is slow, shocked, and deliberate.

"Wait, you guys, come on," says Nikita. "Let's get in." She grimaces. "This is _literally_ out of my nightmare!"

 _Mine too,_ thinks Colleen. If she _does_ survive, this room and its dolls will most likely become a recurring nightmare for her. Hell, now that she thinks about it, Everlock has given her enough nightmare fuel to make sure that she'll never sleep again.

 

This place is _ugly._ Manny likes pretty things, such as makeup, sunsets, and cute outfits, so the Dollmaker's warehouse is like his own personal hell. There's not a speck of light or beauty anywhere. Only dust, disgust, and pain.

"Wait!" Joey points to a glass case in the center of the room. Inside the case is a doll's headless body. "Guys, this is the body! It's over here!"

He holds up the doll's head. It's a perfect match.

Rosanna picks up a nearby journal, which is tied together with a string and some more doll feet. "Okay, what's _this?"_

"What?" asks Joey.

"Ugh, not that I _want_ to be reading a creepy journal," complains Rosanna, "but..." She takes off the string, opens the journal, and turns it right-side up. "Okay." The little nugget is _clearly_ uncomfortable with this.

 _I said I'd take care of her,_ remembers Manny, and so, _he_ reads the journal instead.

_I didn't know what the Carnival Master had given me. It's no ordinary doll. I discovered it's made from the skin of a serial killer..._

"Omigod," groans Nikita.

"Omigod," echoes Manny. _Bitch, who the hell thought it was a good idea to make a doll from a serial killer's skin? Also, why are we still standing here and putting up with this shit, instead of getting our asses out of Tortureville?_

_...known as the Night Killer. I couldn't fathom the things he did to people. I locked the case. With each act, only a sick and twisted mind will be able to open it, and they'll deserve what they find._

Manny's getting goosebumps.

 

"Sick and twisted mind..." Colleen smiles. She knows _just_ the man for the job. "Joey, that's _you!"_

Joey laughs sarcastically.

Safiya looks around. "There are these clues in front of every doll," she reports, "and by the looks of it, you guys, I think we're gonna have to torture these dolls."

At this, Joey shudders, but he's probably faking it.

Colleen would like to throw up again. The thought of torturing _anyone,_ even dolls, makes her feel queasy with remorse. She doesn't want any part of this. She just wants to go home, have a nice bath, and forget about tonight.

But a task is a task, so she goes to the first doll. It's sitting by a big bowl of water, and judging by the accompanying note, she needs to drown it. "Come on over!" she calls to the others. "Let's drown this bitch!" _Oh, God, I can't believe I'm about to torture a doll. Is this what the map meant when it said that we would all have blood on our hands?_

No, that _can't_ be it. Dolls don't have blood. She's just being silly.

"Who wants to do it?" Nikita sounds a little _too_ eager.

_The bad ones he sent to the bottom of the lake._

Colleen notices a tiny bag next to the doll. She picks it up. "This is full of coins." There's an identical bag on the doll's right ankle. "There's one on this ankle, so we gotta put one on the other to make him sink." After she ties the bag of coins to the doll's left ankle, she gives the doll to Manny, who stuffs it into the bowl of water.

"I do not like being a serial killer!" Rosanna exclaims.

As the doll sinks to the bottom of the bowl, Safiya points at the glass case. "Wait, you guys! One of the locks just opened!"

"Omigod," says Nikita.

"Oh, it's working!" realizes Colleen. "You guys did it! You drowned him!" _Hooray?_ She moves on to the second doll, who is trapped in the stocks. "Keep going! Let's get it done!"

_This one is tongue-tied. Getting her to talk might be a stretch._

"I have to stretch something," Colleen mutters, examining the doll and its surroundings. "What do I have to stretch?" Neither the arms nor the head are stretchable. She's missing something. But _what?_

Everyone else is too busy looking at something else to help Colleen. "Omigod!" Nikita squawks. "This is _so_ creepy!"

Finally, Colleen understands. _Of course!_ "Tongue-tied...stretching..." _Duh!_ She uses a metal object in an effort to get the doll's gummy tongue out of its mouth, but she only succeeds in breaking off a piece of it. "Oh! The tongue just broke, so..." Her mouth pops with exasperation.

"Wait! Colleen!" Manny rushes over to help her. "What is this?" He takes the tool and manages to retrieve the rest of the tongue.

"Did it work?" Colleen asks.

The second lock opens. Mortimer nods. "I think you got it."

Colleen steps away from the doll. She's glad they're making progress, but at the same time, she does _not_ feel proud of herself for this.

 

The third doll hangs upside down by its ankles. "I don't understand this one," Safiya confesses, so she turns her attention to the note, no doubt hoping for an explanation. Joey can't shake the feeling that she's not going to like what she finds.

_Sawing right down the middle is the key. No touching the doll, but you may still have to get your hands dirty._

_Oh, dear._ Joey touches Safiya's shoulder, his mouth and eyes wide open. "We need to find the saw."

A quick scan of the adjacent area reveals a jar filled with disgusting gunk.

"Guys?" Joey moans.

"We found a jar," announces Safiya.

Joey shows the jar to the others. "It says _reach inside if you dare."_ He's done a _lot_ of revolting things during his three nights of horror, so reaching into a weird concoction should be par for the course by now, but his gag reflex is apparently still functional, and now, he thinks he's going to be sick.

"I bet it's in there," says Manny. "I bet the saw is inside that thing."

Against his better judgement, Joey prepares to plunge his hand into the mixture. "All right. Someone hold my jacket."

Safiya's right behind him. "I got it." She takes the jacket out of harm's way.

"Reach inside if you dare?" repeats Rosanna.

Joey pokes his fingers into the jar. "Oh! That is some _weird_ texture." Whatever-it-is squishes around his nails. Rosanna goes "Ooh!" and cringes. Joey takes a deep breath, says "okay," and goes deeper.

"Put your hand into this," says Nikita nonchalantly.

Something stringy and gooey ends up on Joey's hand. He and Rosanna both scream. "I don't know what that is!" fusses Joey. "It's like ramen noodles. Like old, crusty—"

"Definitely doll hair," is Safiya's opinion.

Joey feels his way through the doll hair. Thankfully, it doesn't take long for him to find what he's looking for. "Oh! I got the key!" _I'm never gonna eat ramen noddles again._

 

The key corresponds to a red toolbox that happens to be on a nearby shelf. They open it. "Here's the saw," says Safiya, taking it out. _I guess it's time to saw a doll in half._

"Great," says Manny. "Saw down the middle."

"No touching the doll!" several people recite at once.

So Safiya starts sawing the doll, being careful not to touch it, while Manny and Nikita hold the contraption steady for her. "Oh, this angle is _not_ any better," grumbles Nikita, who has a perfect view of the poor doll's posterior.

"Right there, right there," instructs Manny as Safiya puts the doll out of its misery.

Colleen bites her lip. "Did it work?"

As if in answer, the last lock falls off.

"Oh, it opened!" says Colleen. She opens the case, and the body of the Night Killer's doll is theirs. Safiya should feel happy, but in reality, she's exhausted, nauseated, and uneasy. How can this nightmare _possibly_ get any worse?

 

 _Well, at least none of that crap was_ my _fault,_ thinks Nikita. _Colleen, Manny, and Safiya were the ones who did the torturing. All I did was hold things up for them._ Somehow, that doesn't make her feel any better.

There's a note.

_The Night Killer murdered over a hundred people before he was carved up and turned into a doll. His evil acts live on in this child's toy, granting it the power to bring the inanimate to life._

Nikita shrugs and tosses her hair. _It's what the bitch deserved._ That'll _teach him to go around murdering people!_

_After reconnecting the head, place the doll in the base of the Maiden of Madness to complete the cleansing. Rumor has it the Dollmaker locked the Maiden away inside his shop by order of the Carnival Master._

So they have to put this doll inside the Maiden of Madness. What the hell is the Maiden of Madness? The name _alone_ is enough to freak Nikita out. "No, you guys..." She doesn't know why, but her gut is convinced that they're about to do something horrible. "I have a _really_ bad feeling about this one!"

Joey puts the doll back together. The moment he does, another box opens. "Omigod!" gasps Manny.

"What happened?" Colleen wants to know.

"That opened," Manny stammers. "That opened. That opened." He walks over to the box and pulls out another note.

_Be careful of the twins._

Joey frowns. "Twins?"

"And we have a key," adds Manny, showing said key to everyone.

"Okay," says Joey. "Let's go back to the doll shop."

Mortimer guides them out the door. "Let's go this way, guys."

As soon as the group goes outside, they're confronted by a pair of little people who look like (and probably _are,_ come to think of it) living dolls. They have raggedy red hair, pale white faces, soulless eyes, red-and-white striped shirts, black jumpsuits, and knives. _The note said, "beware of twins,"_ Nikita recalls. _What do these look like?_ Twins, _bitch!_

 

Manny shakes his head. Between doll torture and creepy twins, this whole situation just keeps getting crazier and crazier.

"Guys, come on." Joey approaches the twins. "Hi, are you guys nice?"

All of a sudden, the twins break out into full speed racer, charging at the YouTubers like a crowd charging through the doors of a Walmart during a Black Friday sale. Everyone screams and takes off running. "Omigod!" yells Manny repeatedly. _Dammit! Of_ course _they want to kill us! Everything in Everlock wants to kill us!_ His horror movie metaphor feels more accurate than ever.

The dolls stab the air as they run. "Knife!" they giggle in squeaky voices. "Knife! Knife!"

Getting stabbed to death by a doll is pretty high up on Manny's list of fates to avoid, so he sprints away as fast as he can. For several heart-pounding minutes, he has no idea where he's going, but after a while, he ends up outside the Dollmaker's Shoppe. Nikita and Calliope are quick to join him. "Right here!" pants Nikita. "Come on, Manny!"

Manny tries his key on the door. Sure enough, the key unlocks the shop, and he, Nikita, and Calliope rush inside. They're safe for the moment.

"Where's everyone?" cries Calliope in a frantic voice. "Where's everyone?"

"Guys, guys, guys!" screeches Colleen as she stumbles into the shop. Safiya and Mortimer are right on her heels.

"Come on, you guys." Manny does a quick head count, and his heart sinks when he realizes that two of them are still missing. "Come on." _Joey? Ro? Where are you? Please don't be dead!_

 

Every time Rosanna thinks that things can't get any scarier, Everlock _always_ finds a way to top itself. Now, she's running for her life from living dolls, with _knives_ no less, and she feels _beyond_ frightened. This is worse than the Man with No Name. At least the Man with No Name didn't have any weapons besides his long arms.

"Ro, come on!" Joey shouts.

Rosanna runs wildly, her green coat fluttering in the wind. "I'm coming!"

"Get in the doll shop!" is Joey's last order before he disappears through the door to the shop.

Little breaths of air keep Rosanna moving as she runs to join her friends. One of the twins is on her tail. _Please, go away,_ she silently begs the doll. _I'm very small, and I'm not worth the trouble it takes to kill me._

"Ro!" yells Nikita. "Get in!"

"Hurry!" hollers Manny.

When Rosanna reaches the shop, Mortimer gently pushes her inside.

"Close it! Close it!" Joey shrieks.

Mortimer slams the door in the face of the doll who was chasing Rosanna. "Jesus Christ," he remarks to the group at large.

The Dollmaker's Shoppe is, as the name implies, filled to the brim with creepy dolls. Rosanna _hates_ it. She wishes Matt was here, so that he could hug her and tell her that everything will be all right. But he's _not_ here. Not anymore. It's just her, what's left of the group, and a shop full of dolls that no child would _ever_ want to play with.

"Okay!" Joey reopens the journal from earlier. "Guys."

_I've hidden the Maiden of Madness behind three tests: one of fear, one of pain, and one of blood. For the trial of fear, hit the switch, and then place your hand inside the chute for ten seconds. Count out loud as a group._

Fear, pain, and blood are three of Rosanna's least favorite things in the world. This will _not_ be fun.

 

Joey peers down the chute. "A _garbage_ disposal?"

"Yeah." Nikita rolls her eyes. "I'll do it." Sure, it's scary, but she's the _Troublemaker._ She was born to burn the world and laugh at the smoke. A trial of fear should be _child's_ play for a girl like her.

"You will?" Joey asks.

"Yeah! I'll do it! That's the switch."

Manny hits the switch, and the disposal whirs to life, prompting an "oh, no" from Colleen and an "omigod" from Manny (who immediately turns it back off).

"Omigod!" Joey's nervous laugh fails to lighten the mood. "Nikita! Are you _sure_ you wanna do that?"

Nikita faces the dangerous disposal. "It's the challenge of fear. I'm the Troublemaker. I'm not supposed to be scared." Maybe she's not good at puzzles. Maybe she's not the strongest. But she's the _bravest._ Even though the garbage disposal might rip her hand off if she does this wrong, she'll take on the job anyway, because that's what a _true_ Troublemaker would do.

"Do you wanna take your jacket off?" suggests Joey.

"Yeah," she replies. "You're right." She slips out of her jacket and hands it to Joey.

"Roll your sleeves up, too," Joey advises her as she does just that. "You don't want that dress getting dirty when your hand gets chopped off."

Despite her attitude, a ripple of terror runs through Nikita's body when he says that. She _likes_ her hand. She doesn't want to lose it to this machine. "Okay," she breathes. As Manny switches the disposal back on, she drops her mask for a moment, and she lets herself be scared.

The moment doesn't last. Soon enough, she's the fearless Troublemaker again. She plunges her hand into the disposal.

Safiya claps. "You got this, Nikita!"

Everyone starts counting. Nikita screams in time with their voices throughout the most nerve-racking ten seconds of her life. The blades of the disposal shred through garbage inches beneath her fingers. Just when she's beginning to worry about becoming the female version of Captain Hook, time's up, and she pulls her hand out of harm's way.

Colleen winces. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," says Nikita. "I'm fine."

"You still have your hand," observes the Disco Dancer.

Nikita looks at her hand, which, of course, is still in one piece. "Yeah." She made it. Of _course_ she made it. If she's doomed to die in Everlock, it sure as hell won't be because of a _garbage disposal_ of all things.

 

A compartment opens, and everyone screams. This is Safiya's life now.

_Pull the lever if you can handle the pain. It's quite shocking how hard it is to hang on to._

_This must be the trial of pain,_ thinks Safiya. She just saw Nikita go through the trial of fear. If Nikita can risk her well-being for the sake of the group, so can Safiya. "I'll do it." She grabs the lever. A jolt of painful electricity runs through her arm. "Oh!" She drops it, shocked.

Manny looks worried. "Are you okay?"

"It's zappy," says Joey.

"Are you _sure?"_ There's a concerned expression on Rosanna's small face. "I've had a lot of laser hair treatment."

But Safiya's not about to let Rosanna attempt this endeavor. Not after she promised Matt that she'd keep the little Jet Setter safe from harm. So instead, she takes the lever once more, and she grits her teeth against the pain as she pulls it over to the other side. It hurts like _hell._ But _someone's_ got to do it. Better her than one of her innocent friends.

Shouts of "Come on!" and "Push!" surround her. The agony almost becomes too much for her to bear, but eventually, she completes the nasty chore.

"Got it," says Nikita.

Once she lets go of the lever, Safiya shakes her arm out, but it still smarts. _The pain will go away soon,_ she reassures herself.

"Look, look, look!" shouts Colleen.

A panel in the wall has opened, complete with another note.

_The group must be divided in two. One will return to the warehouse to claim the blood doll which can open the Maiden's frame. The other group must remain and solve the trial of blood. But hurry, the twins are coming. Sooner or later, you must lead them to the jail cell and lock them up...or they'll stab you, and you'll find yourself in the voting box._

Safiya thinks of the ticket box, which is now a burial ground for the cards that once belonged to four of her friends. Then, she thinks of her _own_ card. The Investigative Reporter has yet to be chosen by Calliope. _If I have to die,_ she prays, _at_ least _let me lose a challenge first. Don't let this end with me getting murdered by a doll while running from one place to another. That wouldn't be fair._

"All right, guys, we don't have much time," says Mortimer.

"Okay, let's go." Joey heads for the door. Safiya and Rosanna follow him. "All right. Good luck, guys!"

A mental list of things to do illuminates Safiya's mind. First, she, Joey, and Rosanna have to find the blood doll. Then, they have to reunite with Manny, Nikita, and Colleen, who (hopefully) will have completed the trial of blood and locked up the twins. Finally, they have to unearth the Maiden of Madness...whatever that is.

Honestly, the sooner they cleanse the Night Killer's doll, the better off they'll be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Oh, no! The twin dolls are on the loose! Also, Rosanna gets blood on her hands, Nikita reads a bedtime story, Colleen speaks of despair, and Joey proves himself.


	33. The Dollmaker's Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang is being chased around by a pair of living dolls. With knives. Now, they're split up. Where do they go from here?

Somehow, Joey gets mixed up in the group that has to retrieve the blood doll. Needless to say, he is _not_ looking forward to the task, and he is _definitely_ not looking forward to facing the twins again.

Mortimer opens the door. "Omigod," groans Safiya as she, Joey, and Rosanna leave the Dollmaker's Shoppe. Joey can tell that her stoic facade is beginning to crack.

"Lock the door," says Calliope.

"Lock up behind you," agrees Mortimer as he joins their group.

Joey's the first to step outside. "Joey, lead the way!" he hears Rosanna chirp, and he wonders why she trusts him so much. He's directly responsible for so many deaths, including that of her best friend, yet even now, she's willing to follow him. What has he done to earn such loyalty?

He's pulled out of his questions by the giggles of a twin doll. Within seconds, they're being chased again.

Joey screams and makes a break for it. "Run!" he shrieks to his friends. "Go! Go!" He races towards the warehouse. "Guys! This way! Come on!"

 

Safiya runs towards the warehouse as fast as her legs can carry her. She _hates_ twins. She didn't think that she would _ever_ grow to hate twins, but she does now.

"Hurry, Safiya!" shouts Mortimer. "Come on!"

"Hurry! Go! Come on!" squeals Rosanna.

The four of them practically fly into the warehouse. Safiya's the last one inside, and Rosanna closes the door behind her. "Doors shut!" hollers Mortimer. "Doors shut!"

 _Dammit. There's another door. I_ can't _let those things in!_

Safiya stumbles her way to the other door and slams it shut. "Good day, sir!"

Something bangs against the door. Safiya struggles to hold it in place. "Hold it," says Joey. "Hold it. Hold it."

"Here, here, here!" squeaks Rosanna, grabbing a nearby wooden beam. "Board it." She uses the beam to barricade the door. "Board it."

"Good job, Ro," praises Joey.

As soon as the door is secure, Safiya backs away from it. "Omigod!" she sings. She's terrified. But at least they're safe...for now.

 

Okay. Great. They've split off into two groups again. _It's not like there's strength in numbers or anything!_ thinks Manny sarcastically. "Omigod." Well, at any rate, he's here in the Dollmaker's Shoppe with Nikita, Colleen, and Calliope, and they have to complete the trial of blood...if they don't get hacked to pieces by a twin doll first.

"Okay, you guys," says Nikita. "Let's start."

Manny takes a moment to get his bearings before throwing himself back into the search for clues. "Hold on. Let's do this quick. Let's do this quick."

They find a drawer. Colleen, of course, immediately opens it, only for them to be confronted bye a bunch of baby doll heads.

"Omigod!" Manny gasps.

Colleen mutters something under her breath, but it's Nikita who spots a clue within the creepiness. "Oh, wait. No, no, no." She takes out a picture book. "It's a book. _Once Upon a Murdery Time._ Maybe we have to read to them?"

 _Anything with the word "murder" in it should_ not _be the title of a children's book,_ is Manny's opinion on the subject.

All of a sudden, a twin walks in, its knife at the ready. "Omigod!" screams Colleen as she and Calliope run out of the shop. "Go, go, go! Get out! Get out! Get out!"

Manny _can't_ get out. The twin has him and Nikita cornered. The two best friends disguise themselves with a pile of dolls, and Manny prays that it'll be enough to keep them alive.

 

Colleen remembers that they have to entice the twins into prison. _What do these creepy little twins like?_ The answer hits her in a flash of inspiration. _Dolls!_

"Manny?" she whispers into the shop.

She can't see him from where she's standing, but his voice comes out from behind some dolls. "Yeah."

"We have to get this bitch to the jail," Colleen explains. "You need to come out, and we have to lure him with dolls _right_ now."

"Okay," says Manny. "Come on." He and Nikita emerge. Both of them are carrying dolls, which capture the twin's attention. "Hi!" Manny sounds like he's talking to a baby. "See this? You want a doll? You like this?" He rapidly backs out of the shop and towards the jail. The twin follows him. "You like it?" coos Manny. "Come on!"

Colleen goes to stand in front of the jail. "Come here! This way!" She waves dolls around like flags. "Look at the dolls I have!" _Please let this work._

 

 _Come here!_ giggles Nikita's nervous mind as she helps lure the demon doll into the jail. _Don't kill me!_ She's honestly shocked that this is working. Maybe not _all_ dolls are demonic harbingers of doom.

She and Manny stand inside the cell, their dolls at the ready. She throws one of the dolls against the cot. The twin creeps inside, mesmerized, and Nikita remembers that she still has the bedtime story with her. _Are you_ kidding _me?_ she almost screams. _Do I_ really _have to put this bitch to bed? What am I, its_ mommy _or something?_

Manny quickly squeezes her hand.

Nikita flips the book open to a random page. _"She left her family to travel the world in pursuit of the perfect method..."_ she reads in a monotone voice as she and Manny make their quiet escape. Once they're both out, Manny tosses his doll into the cell, and they lock up behind them.

The twin screeches and throws itself against the bars, but to no avail.

_Sleep tight, bitch!_

"Go to bed!" Colleen orders the little hellspawn.

"Lie down!" says Manny. Then, to the girls, "Let's go back. Let's go back. Come on."

 _Okay,_ thinks Nikita. _We have_ one _little bitch locked in jail. Time to go back to the warehouse and solve the rest of this clue._

 

Rosanna, Safiya, and Joey are in the warehouse to claim the blood doll. Rosanna knows that she hasn't really contributed much to the group since Matt's death, mainly due to a combination of her grief, the scary dolls, and the general awfulness of their most recent challenges. Hopefully, this quest for the blood doll will give her the opportunity to step up again.

 _Don't forget,_ she reminds herself, _the Lazarus coin is still out there. It_ has _to be found. After all, it's what Matt wanted._

"Okay, so we have a key," says Joey, holding up the key in question. "We need to look for what this opens."

Rosanna finds a small crate. "Here! What about this?"

"Yes!" cheers Joey.

"That's _definitely_ it," says Safiya.

Joey opens the crate. Inside are two jars and a note.

_Four cups of blood exactly in one pour. Not a drop more or less._

Cups...measurements...this sounds like a _recipe_ of some sort. Fortunately, recipes are Rosanna Pansino's speciality. It comes hand in hand with being a culinary YouTuber. She can do this.

"We've got two jars," remarks Safiya, "one that has three cups, and one that has five."

Joey gasps. "I saw this." He points to a big tub of blood. "There's blood here. I think we have to insert the four cups of blood into this." Here, he gestures to a box with a giant hole in (and the word _blood_ on) its lid.

So begins the weirdest episode of Nerdy Nummies ever. While Safiya holds the three-cup jar steady for her, Rosanna carefully fills it with blood. Joey adds a cup of blood to the five-cup jar. It's more of a visual guide than anything else.

"What if we fill the five, and then pour _this_ into _that_ cup?" Joey suggests. "Because whatever's left in _here_ is what goes in _there."_

"Yes!" Safiya takes the five-cup jar. "So, basically, we fill this up all the way, pour it into _here..."_ She taps the three-cup jar. "...and whatever we have left in here is two cups."

"Two cups!" Rosanna says sweetly, as if she's showing her audience how to bake a cake.

They empty the three-cup jar into the five-cup jar, then fill the five-cup jar the rest of the way. Afterwards, Joey uses the five-cup jar to refill the three-cup jar. Rosanna pretends that they're dealing with milk instead of blood.

Safiya displays the five-cup jar, which is now only partially full. "So this, in here, is _gotta_ be two cups, right? There are two in here."

"And this goes back in here," says Rosanna.

"Exactly." Safiya pours the contents of the three-cup jar back into the original tub of blood, only to overflow it onto Rosanna's hands. "Oh, oh, oh!" She winces. "I'm _so_ sorry, Ro."

Rosanna shrugs it off. "That's okay." She loves Safiya too much to be mad at her for a little accident like this.

"Ro, you got blood all over your hands!" Joey giggles.

"Oh, gross." Rosanna jumps up and down, her brown curls bobbing with disgust. "Oh, gross. Oh, gross. Grab the stuffing." She picks up some stray stuffing, only to get it stuck to her bloodied hands. "Oh, jeez," she complains. "Now I look like I'm feathered." This kind of thing _never_ happens on Nerdy Nummies.

 _Is_ this _what the map meant?_

She hopes so.

 

"So now we've got two cups exactly in here, right?" says Safiya matter-of-factly. "So we need to double this somehow." She tucks her hair behind her ears. The problem is, they have to do this twice, and if they use the same method again, they'll lose their original measurements. They need to find another way to measure those last two cups of blood. "We just need to figure out where we can hold that amount, because we have to do all four in one pour."

Then, she sees the jar full of blood and doll hair that Joey reached into earlier, and she gets an idea. It's a nauseating idea, but it's an idea nonetheless.

She picks up Joey's jar. "Here we go."

"Okay," says Rosanna. "Go for it."

Safiya spills the jar's contents all over the floor. The liquid splatters across the wood. Everyone groans. "That's sick," declares Joey.

 _Yes, it is,_ thinks Safiya. _But we gotta do what we gotta do._ She holds the now-empty jar out to Rosanna. "Gimme that two cups."

"Two cups," repeats Rosanna. "In we go." She pours the blood from the five-cup jar into the jar that formerly contained doll hair. A funny noise comes out of her mouth as she does so. "This is _gross,"_ she gripes.

"So fill this up again," says Joey, referring to the five-cup jar, "to get five cups."

The five-cup three-cup process happens again.

Once two cups of blood remain in the five-cup jar, Joey is left holding it. "The leftover in here will give us the final amount," he says, pouring what's in the five-cup jar into Safiya's jar.

"Two and two," says Safiya. "That should be four." _Thank God for basic facts._

Rosanna pours the four cups of blood into the box's appropriate hole. A compartment falls open. Rosanna screams and nearly drops her jar. Safiya manages to catch the jar just in time.

Inside the new compartment is a note, a bottle of red pills, and the blood doll, which looks like one of the dolls out of _Child's Play._ Its veiny face is dripping blood. "Omigod," gasps Joey. "That is the most terrifying demonic doll I have _ever_ seen in my _entire_ life."

 

Colleen, Manny, Nikita, and Calliope run back into the shop, where the drawer full of doll heads awaits them. Colleen has no idea what to _do_ with these things, but _whatever_ they have to do, it's the last step to getting their hands on the Maiden of Madness. (Her current theory is that the Maiden of Madness is an _actual_ maiden who's gone mad. A lunatic would be the icing on the cake of this crazy night.)

They each take a few doll heads. "Wait." Nikita frowns. "Mine are looking in different directions."

"Wait, mine are, too!" realizes Manny.

"What if we line them up?" suggests Nikita, and so, that's what they do. Six little doll heads are lined up in a row on the table.

"We have one going right," reports Manny, "up, left, down, down."

"And left." Nikita gasps and points at the spikes. "Wait! There's six."

"There's six," says Manny, "and there's six heads."

Nikita runs back to the table. "And there's six dolls! Okay."

"Okay," sighs Colleen. "So, yeah, we have to put them on the spikes." Once again, she feels like a twisted doll executioner. Now they're putting _heads_ on _spikes?_ "Wait. Get the book. Get the book. The book _has_ to be a clue." She picks up _Once Upon a Murdery Time_ and flips through its brightly colored pages. "Here...oh, yes! She _left!_ Okay! The clues are in here!" She reads aloud.

_Once upon a time, a maiden grew up dreaming of torture and despair._

"Grew _up!"_ exclaims Manny. "First one's looking up!"

"Grew up!" Colleen fills the first spike with a doll head whose googly eyes are staring up at the ceiling.

_She left her family to travel the world in pursuit of the perfect method to make people suffer._

Manny places the second head, then gasps. "Omigod, it's _bleeding!"_ He's right. The spikes are oozing blood. Colleen cringes and keeps reading the disturbing book.

_Though many dissuaded her, she insisted her path was right no matter what they said._

Colleen brushes her hair away from her face to get a better look at the doll head that's just been mounted onto the third spike. "Okay, so is that one looking right?"

"That's looking to the right," Manny replies.

The story continues. Finally, there's only one doll head left. "Is it down?" Colleen asks Manny.

He nods. "It's down." He gets it onto its corresponding spike.

A trapdoor in the wall opens up. "Oh," says Colleen. "It opened."

"Omigod!" yells Manny.

Colleen's stomach churns. She can't _wait_ for this doll crap to be over.

 

"Omgiod." Joey picks up the blood doll. It looks _horrifying._ Between this, the Night Killer's doll, and the twins, he never wants to see another doll ever again.

Mortimer notices the note. "One more challenge."

"Ro," whimpers Joey, handing the doll to the little Jet Setter, "you want a baby?"

Rosanna makes a frightened face, but she takes the doll anyway. "Okay. Thanks. Thanks, Joey."

Safiya reads the note.

_You have the blood doll and should go, but if you're a seeker of thrills, there's one last treasure to uncover. If you want to play, swallow the red pill._

"This is some Matrix shiz," says Safiya as Joey opens the pill bottle. "The question is, do we want to play?"

Joey takes a deep breath. This is his chance to redeem himself and prove his worth to the group. This is his chance to be the hero that Rosanna thinks he is. This is his chance, and it's _not_ a chance he plans to waste. "I'll do it."

"Joey, this is dangerous," worries Rosanna. "If you wanna do this, I support you, but this looks like drugs!"

"You guys trusted me," Joey replies, "and you didn't vote for me in that competition, so I'll take this for the team." He reaches into the bottle, takes out a red pill, and pops it into his mouth. _Don't let it be a poison pill,_ part of him prays, but there's another part of him that doesn't mind if it is.

He swallows. He feels the same as he did before.

A latch clicks.

"Something opened."

The "something" is a tub of black tar, along with a note.

_At the bottom of the molten tar lies a treasure._

Hope flickers to life in Joey's mind. _There's a treasure here,_ he thinks. _It's the coin. It_ has _to be. Everlock knows what we need right now._ He prepares to reach into the tar.

_"Look for the coin!"_

"You got this, Joey!" chants Rosanna. "You got this, Joey! It's just chocolate cake batter!"

_I_ can't _let them down._

So, for the sake of those living and dead, Joey once again plunges his hand into a strange substance. "Oh, it's _thick!"_ His arm becomes a trail of pitch-black tar. "Omigod. Okay. Omigod." Rosanna's right; it _does_ feel like batter. "What _is_ this? Holy crap. Okay. Yep. I'm gonna keep searching." He feels around until he encounters something that isn't tar. "Wait. I think I got something."

"Oh, yeah?" asks Safiya, clearly curious.

"I have no idea," Joey admits as he draws whatever-it-is out of the tar. "Okay." He holds his tar-covered hand out to Safiya. "What is it?" _Please be what I think it is._

 

Safiya takes the object and examines it. "It's a coin," she reveals. "It's a Lazarus coin."

Rosanna's heart lights up with happiness. "It's a coin?"

"Yes," Safiya hisses softly.

"Wait!" Joey takes it. "Let me see! Here." Sure enough, it's the final Lazarus coin that they so desperately need.

"It's a Lazarus coin," breathes Safiya, as if she, too, can't believe it.

 _We did it!_ Rosanna's spirit cheers. _We found the coin, just like Matt said!_ She smiles for the first time since Matt's death. _He must be_ so _proud of us._

"Okay, let's get out of here," says Joey, "and let's meet up with the others."

The words are barely out of his mouth when a twin charges into the warehouse. Everyone screams. Shouts of "Go!" fill the air as Rosanna, Safiya, Joey, and Mortimer make their escape.

"Come on, guys!" gulps Mortimer.

"Go!" yells Joey. "Run!"

They run all the way back to the Dollmaker's Shoppe. "Door, door, door, door, door!" screams Rosanna as the four of them crash through the door, where they are reunited with Colleen, Manny, Nikita, and Calliope.

Safiya says "Oh, _hell_ no!" and shuts the door behind them.

 _At least we have the coin._ Rosanna takes a moment to catch her breath. _At least Matt's dying wish has been fulfilled._

 

Colleen's glad to see that Rosanna and Safiya are safe. She wishes that she could feel the same about Joey, but she can't. Not anymore. Not after everything.

"Omigosh, guys," says Joey.

"Are you okay?" asks Manny. "What the hell is _that?_ Is that tar?"

Joey shows them an object that is _unmistakably_ the second Lazarus coin. "I found the other coin," he tells them.

Safiya backs him up. "Joey found the other coin."

"You're _lying!"_ Manny exclaims.

But he's _not_ lying, and every angry word that Colleen's ever said to him feels like corroding acid in her throat. _Maybe I was wrong,_ she realizes. _Maybe he really_ was _telling the truth. And if he was..._ Her soul feels like it's falling apart at the seams. _I called him out. I tried to kill him. I threw away our friendship for absolutely no reason at all._

_I'm sorry, Joey._

Is it too late to fix this? Probably.

So she moves on to their next endeavor. "We also found this door over here," she says, pointing to the open trapdoor, "so I think we need to go inside."

They walk through the trapdoor and enter a new room. "Oh, dear Lord," is Nikita's reaction to what's in front of them: a thousand lit candles, and at the center of it all, a large metal contraption that looks like something straight from hell. _This must be the Maiden of Madness._ A shiver runs down Colleen's spine at the sight.

 

Nikita has the note that came with the trapdoor. She figures that she might as well read it, so they know what the hell they have to do _this_ time.

_Seal the blood doll in the Maiden's face to open the chamber._

"Do we have to go up there?" Nikita questions, pointing to the top of the Maiden of Madness. It has a face. Of _course_ it has a damn face. Since when has this town _not_ tried to be as creepy as possible?

Rosanna squirms in her shoes. "Yeah, I don't think I can reach that."

"I'm the tallest," says Manny. "Let me do it." He takes the blood doll, walks up to the Maiden of Madness, opens its face, and stuffs the doll inside. After that, he closes the face forever.

"Okay." Joey sounds breathless. "Manny, I think we need to open it."

The two boys open the doors to the Maiden.

"Omigod!"

"Nope! Nope! Uh-uh!"

There are _spikes_ in there. _Lots_ of them. Enough to _kill_ someone. From the looks of it, this thing _has_ killed people before, given that its insides are covered with blood and organs. It looks like something out of a horror movie, or a really bad Saturday night. Nikita's instincts insist that it needs to be taken away and dumped into the nearest dumpster fire.

Oh, and there's a note. There's _always_ a goddamn note. Time for Safiya to do some more reading.

_You have opened the Maiden of Madness, and regret will surely follow. To cleanse the Night Killer's doll, it must first be placed in the chamber beneath her feet._

The chamber opens. "Omigod," gasps Joey.

Nikita, who has the Night Killer's doll, places it in the chamber. "RIP, bitch." She kicks the damn thing shut. That done, she steps back and lets Safiya keep reading.

_Then, one of you must be chosen by vote to forfeit their life and enter the Maiden. Once the door has been sealed and their screams have ceased, the doll will be cleansed. Choose wisely. Their death will weigh on your conscience._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Someone dies. I want to die.


	34. Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group commits murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did this happen  
> why am I writing this  
> why did I agree to this  
> why

_"What?"_ gasps Nikita.

"Wait..." Colleen looks like she's been struck by lightning. "So one of us has to commit _suicide?"_

Joey points a shaking finger at the Maiden. "We have to choose someone _right now_ to go inside there."

"I'm stepping down," announces Manny, stepping off the platform that the Maiden is on. "Don't wanna get murdered."

Safiya is horrified by what she just read. In order to cleanse the Night Killer's doll, one among them must be forced to enter the Maiden of Madness and _die._ No challenge. No chance to fight. Just instant murder for an unlucky soul. This, to Safiya, is worse than anything that any of them could've possibly imagined.

"Any volunteers?" Nikita asks.

Colleen stares at her as if she's lost her mind. _"Hell_ no!"

Then, all of a sudden, it hits Safiya like a knife to the gut. "You remember how on the map it said that there will be blood on our hands?" Of course. The map _knew_ this would happen. Everlock tried to warn them about the monsters they would all become.

Manny says what they're all thinking. "This is what they meant."

Safiya glances at her hands, and for a split second, she can already see a hint of dark red blood. _I'm glad the dead are dead,_ she thinks. _At least they won't have to witness what's about to happen to our group._

 

Joey remembers a blonde Gambler named Justine Ezarik. He remembers a task just like this, only with a coffin instead of a chamber of spikes. He remembers Justine's screams of anguished fear of as her so-called friends buried her alive. He remembers trying to stop them, failing miserably, and collapsing into darkness.

He doesn't want to go through that again.

"Should we all, like, plead our case right now?" asks Colleen. "Like, I don't know. What do we do?"

"I don't know," admits Rosanna sheepishly. "I'm not..." She turns away. "I wasn't expecting this."

Manny fiddles with his rings. "Okay, guys," he says quietly. "I think this is definitely a 'plead your case' moment."

It begins.

 

Nikita doesn't want to think about what they're doing. She just wants to keep herself alive. Her and Manny. That's the plan. She _won't_ let the Bitch of Madness screw it all up.

So she pleads her case. "I stuck my hand down that drain and down that pipe, and I was very active as a member, especially in this challenge for bravery."

She, of course, immediately receives support from the one person she knows she can count on. "Agreed _completely,"_ says Manny.

Fire burns in Nikita's eyes. _I'm not going in there, honey!_

 

Fortunately for Safiya, she's proved herself a thousand times over the course of the night, so now's as good of a time as any to remind her friends of her usefulness. "I think that you guys are all great," she says, "but I don't think there's another puzzle solver in this group the same way that I can do it, so..." Her sentence trails off, but her point is loud and clear. She, Safiya Nygaard, is _far_ too valuable to kill.

But who will die instead?

_Not Ro. Please, not Ro._

They've never actually _killed_ one of their friends before. For the first time in a long time, Safiya doesn't know what to do.

 

"Ro?"

Matt's badge feels heavy in Rosanna's left pocket. "I have a lot of heart." She turns to Joey, and she tries her best to show love and trust to her obviously conflicted friend. "I have your back. A hundred percent."

She doesn't want to die. _Especially_ not in an awful box of spikes. But she doesn't want any of the others to die, either. She loves them all. Nikita's brave and confident, Manny's strong but kind, Colleen's a hard worker who cares about everyone, Joey's the one they came here to help, and Safiya...not only is Safiya a genius, but she's been there for Rosanna through all the pain and death that's happened so far. _None_ of them deserve this terrible fate.

It's a no-win situation here.

 

Manny's anxiety kicks into overdrive. _Oh, God. Oh, God._ What if it's _him_ who ends up as a human shish kebab? It could happen. There's a one-in-six chance of it. Yeah, Nikita wouldn't hurt him, but what about everyone else?

 _No._ His heart picks up speed in his chest. _This_ can't _be how I die._

"I am one of the strongest competitors." An hour ago, he wore that title like a badge of honor. Now, he uses it as a shield. "I feel like we might _need_ brute strength for something. Who knows?"

_Please let me not get voted in!_

 

Oh, dear. It's time for Joey to defend himself again. He feels like he's spent all _night_ defending himself to these people. To be fair, it's all _his_ fault, but he _can't_ say that out loud. He doesn't want to go back to death. He _never_ wants to go back.

So he focuses on the little bit of good he's done. "I found this coin," he says, showing the Lazarus coin to the group, "and we know that this coin is going to give us an advantage in some way. So I feel like I've brought an advancement to us."

_I proved myself! Thank you!_

_No, you haven't,_ sneer the demons in his mind, but he stifles them, and his principles are stifled in the process.

 

Colleen's not as brave as Nikita, she's not as smart as Safiya, she's not as sweet as Rosanna, and she's not as strong as Manny. She hasn't even found any Lazarus coins. All she has are her intuition, her wit, and her will to survive...but will those traits be enough to avoid the Maiden's embrace?

Her desperate brain grasps for a straw she can use to save herself, and soon enough, she finds one. "One of the biggest things I feel I've done so far," she says, "even though it might've been a little bit problematic, was have a gut feeling about Joey." Her stomach flops at the thought of how she treated her old friend, but she pushes through her heartache and keeps talking. "And because of that, we found out something _really_ important." She stares straight into Joey's cruel eyes. "And you _have_ proved yourself, and I'm sorry that I came for you. But we wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for that. I really think you need me to get to the end."

She _knows_ that she's caused a rift in the group. She _knows_ that she's destroyed her relationship with Joey. But she's _human._ Her friends are _dying._ Everything she did, she did out of anger, despair, and love.

 _Surely_ they wouldn't murder her for _that._

"So basically all we've said is, we all need to be here," she chuckles nervously.

Joey faces her. "I guess I'm just gonna be upfront and honest," he says in a soft but merciless voice. "I'm gonna vote for you."

The jagged pieces of Colleen's heart dig like knives into her body. "Joey, I'm sorry I came for you earlier, but you were lying to us!" She hurt him, yes, and if they survive this, she deserves to be cut out of his life, but she doesn't deserve to be thrown into a death box!

"But that was my secret to tell," Joey replies, "and you forced me into that situation."

 _Liar, liar,_ sings the part of her that still hates him. "But _you_ forced all of _us_ into a town where everyone is dying!"

"I understand."

He loved her once. The Joey Graceffa she knew before Everlock would _never_ hurt someone he used to love, no matter _what_ they did to him. "Joey," she begs, "do _not_ vote for me! Please!" _We were friends! Think about when we were friends!_

But Joey's expression is harsh and unforgiving. "I think we're running out of time," he tells the group. "I think it's time."

"We gotta keep this fair," says Mortimer. "Everyone stand over here."

The six surviving YouTubers form a line at the back of the room. Colleen stands at the far left of the group, her hands trembling, her spirit sinking. _He's all talk,_ she reassures her screaming soul. _He won't kill me. Not like this. Not without a challenge. And even if he tries, there's no way in_ hell _that the others will go along with it. I'm gonna be okay. I_ gotta _be okay._

Calliope beckons her forward. "Come."

These are all Colleen's _friends._ Everyone's been working _so_ hard together. She doesn't want to hurt them. She doesn't want to hurt _anyone._

In the end, she closes her eyes as she votes.

 

This isn't a very hard decision for Joey. Sure, Colleen Ballinger was his friend once, but at this point, she's just trying to cause drama between him and everyone else. They can't have that. He knows what he must do.

He chooses a Disco Dancer card, turns around, and reveals it to the group. "I don't wanna be shady about this." His voice wobbles slightly. "I'm sorry, Colleen."

There will be no more Justine Ezariks. Not for him, anyway.

 

Colleen's stomach churns with treachery. _He did it,_ she realizes. _He_ actually _did it. Joey, who used to be my friend, voted me in to die._

To make matters worse, he didn't _just_ vote her in to die. Oh, no. He showed her the card. He _told_ her, _twice,_ to her _face,_ that he wants her gone. How _could_ he? How can _anyone_ look at someone and say _"I'm gonna put you in this terrifying spike box and murder you?"_

Maybe she _was_ right about him.

 _It's just one vote._ Her mouth turns downwards into a frightened frown. _The rest of them won't listen to him. Right?_

 

As he walks to the voting table, Manny feels like he's walking into a river of blood. _If I don't die in there,_ he thinks, _I'm gonna be a murderer. This sucks. Whoever created the Maiden of Madness is a sick bitch who deserves the worst things in life._

The truth is, he _has_ to vote Colleen in, because he doesn't know if he can trust her fully. She _was_ going after Joey, but then, he found that coin, and she was like _"oh, I forgive you."_ She flipped her opinion on him like a light switch. The damage is done.

 _What if she turns on_ me _next?_

Manny discreetly jabs his pinky finger against the stack of Disco Dancer cards. He hopes that Colleen can't see his deadly decision.

 

It's Nikita's turn. Everyone contributed to the group in some way, and she knows that, but they all need to come to one consensus. Honestly, Joey's right. It _should_ be Colleen who goes into the Maiden of Madness. She _is_ a maiden, after all, and she _is_ a little mad.

Nikita grabs a Disco Dancer card. Then, in one swift motion, she whirls it into view. She looks Colleen square in the face, narrows her eyes, hardens her heart, and says "you were wrong to accuse him" in a voice cold enough to freeze all of Everlock.

Colleen's expression breaks. Nikita doesn't care. _This is what she gets for what she's done._

 

When Colleen sees her card in Nikita's hand, she can't help but think livid thoughts about the backstabbing Troublemaker. _She thinks she's tough shit,_ her bitterness growls, _but she's nothing more than a scared little girl. Just like me._ For a moment, she distracts herself from the vote by wondering who or what will eventually break Nikita Dragun.

But betrayal soon returns to center stage. _I apologized to him! I thought we fixed the situation! I thought…_

She should've known better.

 

Rosanna's crying again. She doesn't want to vote, but she knows that she doesn't have a choice. _Joey's my friend,_ she thinks as she selects Colleen. _I gotta have his back._

She shows them her vote. "I'm sorry," she whimpers.

"It's okay, Ro," says Joey.

But it's _not._ It's _not_ okay. It will _never_ be okay. She just condemned Colleen to death, and no amount of reasoning is enough to soothe her heartbroken conscience. _I'm a traitor. I'm a killer. I'm the worst person in the world. I don't deserve to carry Matt's badge anymore._

Tears trickle down her pale cheeks, and she wishes she was dead.

 

 _E tu, Ro?_ What's left of Colleen's faith is shattered. _Even you?_ That settles it. If she's lost Rosanna Pansino, she's lost _everyone._

Her lip quivers. Her dark eyes well up with tears. The Maiden of Madness looms over her, its demonic face examining her as if she's a meal to be consumed. She thinks of her parents, her siblings, her boyfriend, and her fans, and she hopes, for their sake as well as her own, that her life doesn't end in this hellish contraption.

What would Miranda say about this?

 _"O-em-gee, how culd you guys_ do _this to me? I thought you loved me!"_

_I thought so too, Miranda. I thought so too._

 

Safiya's the last to vote. She already knows that Joey, Nikita, and Rosanna all voted for Colleen. Furthermore, since there's only one Disco Dancer card left on the table, and there are five cards in each stack, Manny, too, must've thrown his lot in with the majority.

Of course, Safiya doesn't _want_ Colleen to die. _Especially_ not like this. But it's in the group's best interests to complete the consensus. This way, they'll still be murderers, but at least there won't be any unnecessary drama about it.

She gives Calliope the last Dancer card.

_Better her than me._

 

"I will now shuffle and draw one," mutters Calliope.

Colleen steals a glance at the table, and she notices with a jolt that her beautiful stack of Disco Dancer cards is completely empty. Every single YouTuber in the group chose her for the Maiden. There's no doubt about it. Her friends are trying to kill her.

 _I don't wanna die!_ Everything around her is panic, rage, and misery. _I wanna go home! I wanna make things right! I wanna do that collab we were gonna do!_ She's never been more scared in her life than she is right now.

Calliope draws, then displays, a familiar card.

"The Disco Dancer."

The universe falls apart. Colleen's last ounce of courage crumbles into suffocating dust. "Please." Her friends' faces seem to morph into those of predators. "Please." _This can't be happening! They can't do this to me!_

"Colleen," sighs Joey.

"Please don't do this." She raises her hands in a pose of supplication. "Please." _Run!_ shrieks her brain, but her legs are too traumatized to move, so she stays rooted to the spot, begging for her life.

Joey shakes his head. "You _have_ to," he says, as if that'll be enough to convince her to throw her life away. "I'm sorry."

But his apology, like everything else, is a lie. He's _not_ sorry. If he _was_ sorry, he'd put a stop to this.

"Grab her!" orders Nikita.

The group closes in on Colleen like a pack of wolves about to devour a doe. Nikita grabs her left arm, while Joey takes her right. "Stop! Please!" Colleen's sobbing now. The glamorous Disco Dancer—the dark-haired beauty who only ever wanted a good time—is gone, replaced by a crushed mess of a girl who's about to be unanimously murdered by those she cares about. "Please don't do this! Please don't do this!" An army of frantic thoughts dance across her head, together with several ruined memories. _"Stop!"_

"I'm sorry," rambles Rosanna. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Mortimer appears to be appalled. "Guys, _seriously?"_

Colleen puts up a decent fight, but her executioners are quick to overpower her. "Please, you guys!" she screams as they march her into the Maiden. "Please, stop! Please!"

"Colleen, I'm sorry," says Manny, but is he really Manny? Is Rosanna really Rosanna? Is Safiya really Safiya? Are _any_ of these people the same ones that Colleen loved before, or have they all been replaced with devils from hell?

"Please don't do this to me!" There are spikes everywhere. Colleen can feel their tips against her back. "Please! Please!"

Joey and Safiya seal the doors forever.

The Maiden of Madness impales Colleen on its iron spikes, twisting her into a human pincushion. Agony overcomes her. A series of guttural screams rip through her throat and mouth. Her world is _pain_ and _make it stop_ and _get me out of here,_ all at once, like an earsplitting cacophony of sounds and sensations that won't let her go...

...until they finally do.

 

As Joey listens to the unholy sound of Colleen Ballinger's dying screams, one thought races through his mind: _Oh, God, what have I done?_

He collapses to his knees, gasping and bawling at the same time. Safiya covers her ears. Manny bows his head in prayer. Rosanna is a weeping wreck. Even Calliope and Mortimer are paralyzed by something beyond grief.

_"Guys, do you hear that?"_

Silence.

_"I think she stopped."_

The chamber at the foot of the Maiden reopens, revealing the now-cleansed doll. Joey picks it up carefully, as if it's a bomb, and light flees from it like rats fleeing a sinking ship. _Colleen was right._ His reawakened moral compass hurts. _I_ am _a liar. I spent all these years wishing for a way to save Justine, and now, I'm no better than the ones who killed her in the first place._

He thinks of the way Justine used to furrow her brows whenever she was disappointed in him, and he cries.

 

Nikita's just as sad as everyone else that Colleen's gone, but she doesn't have time to cry about it, so she fixes her broken heart with tape, glue, and promises. _I am strong,_ she tells herself. _I do not feel a thing._

But everyone else is crying. Even _Manny_ is crying.

That's unacceptable.

"There's no point in shedding tears anymore," she admonishes what's left of the group. "We have to all be strong." She's looking right at Manny when she says that. He nods through his tears, and she trusts that he understands. "If we don't complete all of this before sunrise—"

"It's for nothing," Manny murmurs.

 _Exactly._ "Everyone will have died for absolutely nothing." Nikita gestures to Joey and Safiya. "Now that we have the two coins, we can open the box." _She had to go, guys. It had to be done. We gotta move on if we wanna stay alive._

 

The five surviving YouTubers (oh, God, there are _five,_ they started with _ten,_ that's _half_ their group gone, and the night's not over yet) leave the Maiden's room. Safiya wants to keep moving, but her guilt makes her turn back.

There is is. The Maiden of Madness. The final resting place of Colleen Ballinger.

 _"I'm_ scared _of him, Saf."_

Safiya's walls of stoic logic crumble in front of her crime.

 _"I'm scared he'll kill_ me _next."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Colleen. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.  
> (Also, Happy Halloween!)  
> Next chapter: They finally open the Lazarus box. There is hope.


	35. Insert Coin to Continue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The five surviving YouTubers learn the true meaning of Lazarus. Will it be enough to cheer up the author, who is still depressed from writing Colleen's death scene? Hopefully!

_I gotta be strong,_ Manny tells himself as he leaves the Dollmaker's Shoppe for good. _Nikita's right. What's done is done. The artifact is cleansed. If we fall apart now, we're_ all _gonna die._

But tears still hang from his eyelashes.

_Poor Colleen..._

Another body waits for them in the road, but this time, it's no one they care about. It's only a twin. Manny raises an eyebrow at the sight. "What happened to it?"

"Once we cleanse the artifact, he's a goner," explains Safiya.

"Omigod!" Manny gasps. "You're right!" _The monsters die when their artifacts are cleansed. How convenient!_

Nikita, who, for some reason, brought a baby doll with her from the shop, drops said doll in front of the twin's corpse. "Nighty-night, bitch."

The twin goes up in smoke.

 

Once they're back in the lounge, Joey puts the Night Killer's doll with the other artifacts, but he takes no pleasure from doing so. He can't get Colleen Ballinger out of his head. _I killed her._ Her card vanishes into the ticket box. She's still screaming, and so is Justine. They're screaming together. _I'm a monster. I'm an irredeemable piece of shit. And to think I thought I'd have the chance to save them. Shows how much I've learned, huh?_

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the Lazarus coin he found earlier. "But there's also this."

As if in response, Safiya takes _her_ coin out as well. She place it on the table, and then, she and Manny get the Lazarus box. Joey hopes that these coins can offer some sort of hope for them. The group's morale is at an all-time low. Right now, they need a miracle.

"This _better_ be worth it," snaps Nikita.

Joey and Safiya hold their coins above the two coin slots in the Lazarus box. "One," Joey counts. "Two. Three."

They slide the coins into position. The lid to the box lights up, then swings open. Joey gasps, reaches inside, and pulls out the most beautiful harp that he's ever seen.

"It's a harp."

Safiya reads the accompanying note, as she's no doubt grown used to doing by now.

_The Harp of Lazarus only has one song left to play before its magic is gone. Its music has the power to bring one of your friends back from the dead. Name them and strum the Harp three times._

Joey's mouth drops open. He doesn't believe it. He _can't_ believe it. But, at the same time, he _needs_ to believe it. He needs this more than he's ever needed anything in his life.

"Omigod." Manny's hand flies straight to his mouth. "I just got chills."

 _Is it true?_ Joey can't take his eyes off of the Harp of Lazarus. _Am I_ really _about to perform a resurrection? After all this time...all that pain...all the people I killed...can I_ finally _make things right, even if it's just for one of them?_

He is. He can. He _will._

_The two who found the coins will make the final choice on who returns._

"We have to decide who comes back." Joey's despair gives way to joy. Maybe, once he saves a friend from death's clutches, he _won't_ be an irredeemable piece of shit after all. There's still hope. This is his chance to learn from his mistakes.

 

Safiya feels like she's stepped out of a horror movie and into a fantasy. She and Joey can bring someone back. This changes everything.

"Please choose wisely," requests Nikita.

Joey and Safiya step away to discuss their options, while the other three survivors sit on the couch. Manny whispers something to Rosanna. The little Jet Setter nods in reply.

"I think there's definitely one person in my mind that I wanna bring back for sure," says Joey quietly.

Safiya turns to look at him. "There's one person in my mind as well." Of course. _That's_ who it has to be. That's who it _must_ be.

 

Joey holds the Harp of Lazarus like a precious jewel. In his mind, he runs through his ongoing list of casualties, from _Shane Dawson, poisoned,_ all the way through _Colleen Ballinger, impaled by the Maiden of Madness._ Then, he stops. He takes a deep breath. He channels the man he was before. In a voice so soft that only he and Safiya can hear it, he speaks the name of the one he wishes to remove from the list.

"Matthew Patrick."

_Beaten to death._

"Matthew Patrick."

_One more chance._

"Matthew Patrick."

Joey strums the Harp. Once. Twice. Thrice.

_Please, gods of Everlock, if you're out there, bring him home._

 

The Harp of Lazarus plays its live-giving music throughout the town of Everlock, whispering the name of Matthew Patrick as if it's the only name that deserves to be said. In no time at all, the melody reaches his battered body, and the revival process begins in earnest.

First things first. In order to bring a person back to life, any and all fatal injuries must be repaired immediately, so that the person doesn't die again as soon as he or she returns. With Joey Graceffa, this was as simple as fixing a few stab wounds. With Matthew Patrick, it's _much_ harder. The man's head has been beaten to a bloody pulp, for heaven's sake. To save _him,_ the Harp must make some _substantial_ repairs.

So his skull is carefully reconstructed. His bruises disappear. His blood and tears are wiped away from his face. The mess of mush in his head is molded into a fully operational brain. Even his brown hair is combed, cleaned, and styled. It takes a while to undo the sheer amount of damage, but when all is done, the corpse is once again in perfect medical condition.

Well, except for the fact that it's still a corpse.

Next on the agenda: his outfit. Under normal circumstances, the victim would be revived in the same clothes they wore during their death, but _this_ victim is different. His slumbering mind associates his current attire with shame. (Something to do with his legs.) It would be cruel to humiliate him further. Instead, the music locates his _other_ set of clothes, folded with care, hidden away in a secure location. After the Harp's magic hides him with mist to preserve his modesty, it dresses him in his old Detective getup. A white shirt. An orange coat. A tie. A pair of green checkered pants. Some orange-tinted sunglasses.

Everything is as it should be. Now, at last, it's time to reunite the soul with the body.

 _Matthew._ The Harp's siren song searches the World Between Worlds, and eventually, it finds him. _Matthew, come back._

He listens, entranced, as he's led out of the afterlife and into his new life. The Harp of Lazarus hums its final note, allowing his spirit to fall into place like a puzzle piece. His system restarts. His eyes fly open. He breathes.

 _Where...is this...am I...but...wait...I_ died, _I_ know _I died, I_ remember _dying...and now I'm alive...that means..._

He sits up.

_I gotta find the others._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, Matt! The first revival in Escape the Night history (other than Joey's) has been a complete success!  
> Next chapter: Matt reunites with the group. Cue lots of hugs!


	36. Extra Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew "MatPat" Patrick has been brought back to life by the power of the Harp of Lazarus. Now, it's time for everyone's favorite Detective to see his friends again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A part of this chapter was inspired by my fic "Welcome to Forever." If you haven't read it yet, go check it out!

They've been waiting for thirty minutes, and absolutely _nothing_ has happened.

Joey paces the room. Nikita plays with her hair. Manny looks through some vinyl records he found. Safiya sits on a cushion, her feet on a couch, a confused look on her face. As for Rosanna, she stares at the Harp, makes impatient motions with her hands, and tries to will it to work. _Maybe if I just put my feelings into it? Faith, trust, and a bit of pixie dust? I don't know. I just want my friend back._

It's Manny who breaks the silence. "Joey," he snaps, "what's going on?"

"I don't know," Joey mutters.

Manny leans his head against his arm, his pretty face the _picture_ of disappointment. "This harp is faulty."

"Please work," prays Joey. "Please work."

Rosanna shakes her head. "It's not gonna work, is it?" Manny's right. The Harp is broken. Or maybe it lied to them. Either way, Jc, Roi, Teala, Matt, and Colleen really _are_ gone forever. She was silly to believe in miracles. There _are_ no miracles here. _Especially_ not for people who kill people.

Joey seems distraught. "I did exactly what it said. I stroked it three times, and I thought of who I wanted to bring back." Actually, he _said_ who he wanted, although neither Rosanna nor any of the others could hear him, but the details aren't important right now. "I don't know why they're not here."

 _Oh, Matt._ Rosanna reaches into her pocket and touches his badge. _I want to believe in something._

 

Nikita's fine with a third survivor. The more the merrier. But, despite her positive attitude, she still has some concerns.

"I'm honestly hopeful," she admits. "I'm just more worried about who, exactly, we brought back. Whoever comes back is _gonna_ have a vengeance. If _I_ came back from the dead, girl, I'd be _really_ pissed!" Those who died are _dangerous._ As soon as the Harp gets off its lazy ass and does its thing, the bitch it brings back _will_ come for blood. It's what _she'd_ do, after all.

She hopes it isn't Roi, Teala, or Colleen. Those were the three deaths that she, Nikita, was involved with—she pressured Roi into taking that block, she went after Teala for uselessness, and she helped push Colleen into the Maiden of Madness. If _any_ of those three return, Nikita will most likely end up on the receiving end of a knife or some shit. Hell, Colleen would probably kill _all_ of them if she got the chance. She's _definitely_ out.

That leaves Matt and Jc. Matt was the lynchpin of the group, and he had brains, so Nikita wouldn't be surprised if Joey and Safiya chose _him_ for revival. Yeah, she'd be happy to see him, and she didn't do anything to him while he was alive, but...what about Manny? He beat Matt in the challenge. If Matt comes back and wants revenge... _no. Forget it. I_ won't _let him hurt Manny. I'll kill him again if he tries. I swear to God._

So Jc's the only dead guest who doesn't have anything against her or Manny. His only beef would be with Matt, and presumably, they've already hashed that shit out in heaven. Besides, he was useful. She hopes it's him.

 

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door, which startles everyone in the group. Joey stands up. There's someone outside, and he hopes to God that it's who he thinks it is. He doesn't want to be the victim of another lie.

"Omigod!" gasps Manny.

The group gathers around the door. Rosanna jumps up and down, trying to get a better look at whatever (or _who_ ever) is outside. Joey opens the door and says "Hello?"

All that's there is a briefcase.

"What is it?" Nikita asks as Joey picks the briefcase up off the ground.

Safiya frowns. "It's a box."

 _Huh._ "It's like a briefcase." _Not what I was expecting, but you know what? I'd like a briefcase. Sure. I'll take it._

So they bring it inside. When Mortimer sees it, his eyes widen with recognition. "I know who that belonged to," he reveals.

"What?" asks Manny quietly.

Mortimer takes a second to answer him. "Some deadbeat insurance salesman."

"So you _know_ who this case belongs to?" Joey's shocked by this new development, but he tries to play it cool as he presses Mortimer for information. "How do you know?"

"I mean, I _used_ to," says Mortimer with a shrug. "He lived in the town."

"You said he was an insurance salesman?" questions Safiya.

Rosanna narrows her eyes. "I don't trust insurance people."

Joey opens the briefcase, where he finds a bunch of hand-drawn pictures. "Drawings?" This town just keeps getting weirder and weirder. How are _drawings_ supposed to—

A whooshing noise is heard from outside, followed by the sound of someone gasping for air.

_Could it be...?_

 

Rosanna's heart almost stops. _It worked,_ she realizes with a jolt of joy. _The Harp of Lazarus worked. Someone just came back to life._

But who?

Manny springs to his feet. "Omigod."

The door opens, and in stumbles none other than Matthew "MatPat" Patrick. His eyes are glazed over with a confused sort of trauma, and he looks like he just went on an all-night bender, but it's okay, because he's alive. Matt's _alive._ As far as Rosanna's concerned, this is the best moment of tonight.

"Matt!" shouts Joey. "It worked!"

"Omigod!" exclaims Manny again.

They all help Matt to the couch. Once he's comfortable, his eyes travel around the room, examining his friends' faces with disbelieving wonder. Rosanna sits next to him and pats him on the shoulder. _It's okay, Matt._ She can't tear her eyes away from his deer-in-headlights expression. _Don't be scared. You're safe now. You're here, with us, and we'll never let anything hurt you ever again._

"It worked." Safiya runs to Joey. "It worked!"

Joey pulls her into a relieved hug. "I'm so happy."

Matt and Rosanna throw their arms around each other. Rosanna closes her eyes, smiles, and clings to her best friend as he'll die again if she lets him go. _I love you, Matt._ She's happy enough to cry, but she holds herself together for Matt's sake. _I love you. I love you. I love you._

 

Rosanna's embrace is warm, gentle, tender, and loving; she's what would happen if a sunbeam gained the ability to hold a friend in its arms. She's _home._ Matt _feels_ like he's home when he's with her. He loves her more than words can describe, and even though he's a mess right now, he's glad that she's here to help him see the light at the end of the metaphorical tunnel.

 _Is she real?_ he can't help but wonder as he lets her go. _Am I_ truly _alive again? Or is this all a dream?_

"Matt," says Nikita, her tone friendly but cautious at the same time, "I'm actually _really_ happy to see you. You don't understand."

"Matt, we are _so happy_ to see you!" This from Manny, who's currently sporting a radiant grin on his face. Matt, overcome with the urge to let the Record Producer know that what happened wasn't his fault, practically flies off the couch and into his arms. _No hard feelings._ Manny's hug is more exuberant than Rosanna's, but there's still affection within it. _The past is the past. I'd rather not dwell on it anymore._

After he's done with Manny (whose ecstatic little giggles fill the room like tiny sprays of perfume), Matt turns his attention to Nikita. Her lips squeeze together into a thin but genuine smile, and he feels like he somehow passed a test that he didn't even know he was taking. She hugs him, and although it's brief, it's meaningful to both participants.

Next up is Safiya. He never thought that he'd witness the stoic Investigative Reporter cry, but when she embraces him, that's exactly what she does. "You're alive," she sniffles against his shoulder. "Omigod. Matt. You're _here."_

Matt, of course, _knows_ why he's here. It was the Harp of Lazarus. His theory was right. But what about Jc, Roi, Teala, and Colleen? Shouldn't _they_ be here as well? Where _are_ they? What's going on?

Joey, who's the last to welcome him back to the land of the living, explains the situation. "Matt, we were able to bring one person back," he says as he hugs him apologetically, "and we chose you."

"And you chose _me?"_ Matt's voice feels rough in his throat, like sandpaper mixed with rocks.

"We chose you."

 _Why?_ is almost Matt's next question, but he swallows it before it can materialize on his tongue. He wasn't expecting this. He was expecting _everyone_ to come back to life once the Lazarus box was opened. That was why he was so intent on opening it in the first place. For _everyone's_ sake. But apparently, for reasons unknown, he's the only Lazarus. Everyone else who died tonight is still dead.

Including Colleen.

_What happened to her?_

He decides not to ask.

On one hand, he feels _so_ guilty for doing what Jc, Roi, Teala, and Colleen weren't allowed to do. On the other hand, the fact that they specifically chose _him_ to bring back, when they could've chosen _anyone,_ means _so_ much. He doesn't deserve friends like them.

Matt sits back down on the couch. He watches his chest rise and fall as oxygen enters and exits his lungs, and he understands just how lucky he is to be alive right now. _I can go home,_ he tells himself. _I can see Steph again. I can be there when Ollie's born._ The thought of reuniting with his family warms his once-dead heart.

Rosanna reaches into her pocket, takes out a certain Detective badge, and returns it to its rightful owner. "Thank you," Matt murmurs.

"Matt, there's one thing I need to know," says Joey. "What happened when you died?"

_When I died..._

Matt remembers everything. He remembers the Strong Man taunting him, choking him, throwing him to the ground, and bludgeoning the life out of him. He remembers explosions of pain in his broken head. He remembers hanging on to his Lazarus theory by his fingernails, desperate for a way back to Stephanie, Ollie, Rosanna, and everyone else he loves. He even remembers the moment his skull was destroyed and his agony gave way to comfortable darkness.

More importantly, he remembers what happened next.

"I saw the church." He sees it again, as clearly as he sees Joey's face. "And standing in front of the church was a blonde woman and an Asian man."

"The Society Against Evil," Joey breathes.

_Their faces look like they've been carved from stone, although, to be fair, that's probably a side effect of watching so many deceased souls pass through this desolate place. Matt steals one last glance at his wedding ring, then faces them. "This is it."_

_"It is," says the woman._

_"Do you know anything about the Lazarus box?" he asks, since he's still hopeful. "I have a theory, but..." He droops. "I'm not sure if it's true."_

_The woman seems flustered. "Lazarus box?"_

_"We can't tell you that," the man replies, "but what we_ can _tell you is that one of your friends has been to this place before."_

"They said that one of us had been to that church before." As Matt repeats the message, his hand trembles. It's Joey. It _has_ to be. Joey died and came back to life. He _wasn't_ lying. He _is_ an integral piece in this mission, and they _do_ need him to survive and escape.

Rosanna turns to Joey. "You were right."

"I told you," says Joey.

"That's all great and everything," interrupts Nikita, "and I don't mean to cut this really intense moment for you. I know you _literally_ just died two seconds ago. But we just got more clues, and..." She glances down at the floor, then back to Matt. "We _really_ need your help now. More than ever."

 _Way to put me to work, guys,_ thinks Matt as he cuddles Rosanna close to him. _"Go! Do this puzzle for us!"_ He brushes off his insecurities. _Fine. It's good to get back to business._

 

Safiya doesn't know all the details about Matt's experience in the afterlife, but she doesn't think that she _wants_ to know. She's just glad to have him back. _God_ knows they need him...and, to be honest, she missed his company as well as his brain.

 _Who knows?_ she thinks as she tucks her hair behind her ears. _Maybe we can be friends._

First things first. They have a briefcase to decipher. Safiya buries her regrets underneath a layer of logic, and she, like everyone else in the group, looks over Nikita's shoulder as the Troublemaker reads the note that came with the case.

_Tell my story to let the fun begin._

There's also a picture on the note. "And it has numbers," says Nikita, pointing out the numbers that indicate various parts of the picture, "and this looks...actually..." Her eyes dart towards a pattern of circles on the wall across from them. "...like that."

"Just like that!" says Joey, pointing.

They go through the briefcase's drawings, which were obviously done by a child. "They all have Ws," Rosanna notes. "W, W, W."

"So we're figuring...Ws...I think the Ws is the person," says Manny.

"It's the same person," agrees Rosanna. "He's growing up."

Joey turns back to Mortimer. "What did you say his name was?"

"His name was Willy," Mortimer replies.

"Willy!"

"That's Willy!"

"That's a W!"

 _Willy, huh?_ Safiya cocks her head at the badly-drawn pictures. _Knowing this town, Willy is most likely some kind of monster. But what exactly_ is _he? We've had clowns, snakes, Men with No Names, Strong Men, and dolls. What more can Everlock throw at us?_

"Give me the beginning one and a tack," requests Joey. Safiya hands him the drawing of what appears to be Willy's birth, along with a tack, and Joey pins the picture against the wall. "So where do we think that comes next? Because he's born into this world..."

Rosanna squints at another drawing. "Is this a _mustache?"_

"I was gonna say," says Matt, who still seems a bit rattled, but is otherwise eager to help. "That might be a mustache."

The drawing in question depicts a small man being menaced by a much larger woman with a rolling pin. "See," says Rosanna, "he has a mustache here."

"This is his _wife,"_ is Manny's interpretation.

Matt seconds the motion. "This isn't his mother. This is his wife." He inspects the picture as if he's inspecting a crime scene. "So he gets married. He gets abused by his wife."

Safiya winces. She has yet to meet this man, but she already feels sorry for him.

"He has three faces on the last picture," Manny points out.

"He does," says Joey.

As they work, the story of Willy is told. He was born. His parents fought a lot. His mother yelled at him, and he peed himself. He was also bullied in school. He fought in a war. He got married, got pushed around by his wife, left, made a deal with a devil, and then...went mad? How strange.

 

 _Worst storytime ever,_ grumbles Manny to himself as he surveys their circle of drawings. _How can one guy go through so much shit?_ He sighs. _Oh, well. At least Matt's back. I guess that means he's Jesus now. JesusPat. Blessed are the theorists, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven._ He stifles a laugh at his own joke.

"Last one's tacked in," announces Joey.

The completion of the picture circle prompts a nearby box to pop its lid off. Matt gasps and points at it. "It opened."

"Whoa." Manny runs to the box. "We got it. We totally got it."

Inside the box is a red button. Manny's seen enough movies to know that red buttons are never anything good, but he takes it out anyway. "Should I press it?" he asks his friends.

"Are you gonna push it?" Rosanna seems to be surprisingly down with this. "I'm ready!"

"Yes?" Manny asks again, just to make sure.

Joey nods. "We _need_ to press it."

"Push it!" orders Safiya.

"Let's go," Nikita insists. "We don't have time."

Manny pushes the button. All of a sudden, everything goes dark. Screams fill the air. "Omigod!" Manny drops the button and immediately hugs himself. Knowing Everlock, this is probably when someone gets nabbed by the monsters, and he doesn't want it to be him.

 

They're in the dark, which Rosanna is afraid of. She's just about to cry out for help when she feels two pairs of arms wrap around her. _Matt and Safiya._ Her fear evaporates. _They're here. I'll be all right._

"Is everyone okay?" asks Mortimer.

A chorus of "yeses" and "yeahs" answer him.

Just as Joey calls Mortimer's name, the room bathes itself in dim purple light. Yeah, it's still pretty dark, but at least they can see what they're doing, which Rosanna is relieved about.

"Omigod," says Joey.

Yet another box opens.

"Whoa," is Joey's reaction. "Another box!"

"Another thing opened," Manny declares.

This sparks Matt's interest. "Oooh! Something else opened?"

"Something's blinking," notices Safiya.

Manny peers into the box. "A light."

"It's a light." Joey takes a flashlight out of the box. "A flashlight."

Rosanna's beginning to wonder what this all means when Safiya reminds them of something very important. "You guys," she says, "I don't think we've looked at the map yet."

"Omigod, we _haven't_ looked at the map yet!" Manny responds.

They gather around the map. Rosanna makes sure that she's in a spot where she can see what's going on. "All right." Safiya points to the map's latest addition. "Clearly, what's new here is the Funhouse."

_The Funhouse is open for business. Bloody business._

_Bloody business?!?_ Rosanna's skin crawls. _Why does everything around here have to be so bloody?_

 

Joey rolls his eyes. _Bloody business. Of course._ He's only _just_ done his first good deed in ages, and now, it's time to go back to Everlock's murder spree. _I'm tired of playing along, okay? I want to be more than I am._

His flashlight illuminates the wall in front of him. "Oh, look! On the room, there's a line!"

"Omigod!" says Manny.

Joey continues to flash the flashlight against the wall, and it reveals a hidden message.

_Travel symbol to symbol, starting with the swirl._

Next, they find the word "follow." "Look at how 'follow's' written," notices Safiya, who's on top of things as usual.

The O in "follow" has a line through it. "That's a zero," says Joey. "That's a zero." From there, he follows the arrow along until he reaches the symbol of a present. After that, he hops to an identical symbol and follows its pathway. "Five. Zero-four-five."

"Happy face." Safiya squints. "We need to find another smiley face."

"I found it! It's over here!" The smiley face looks like something out of a horror movies, but then again, Joey's life is a horror movie, so why not?

In the end, after following _way_ too many arrows, they finish the line with a sequence of zero-four-five-three. Four numbers. To figure out what they're supposed to do with them, they go back and reread the words.

_Follow grave instructions literally._

"Where have we seen a grave?" Matt wants to know.

It doesn't take long for Joey to find a creepy poster with a graveyard on it. He gasps. "Over here!"

"It's a grave," rambles Manny. "It's literally a grave. That's exactly right."

The letters "RIP" are written on one of the poster's graves. "RIP," mumbles Matt, but then, his eyes light up. "Rip. _Rip!_ Grave instructions literally! Rip it off!"

"Where?" Joey asks.

"Rip it!" Matt insists.

So they do, and they find a combination in the wall. "Omigod," says Manny for the tenth time in fifteen minutes.

"There is is!" cheers Matt.

The lights come back on. Safiya punches in the combination and opens a door in the wall. Inside is the next artifact: a red-and-white spiral that looks like something out of a hypnosis scene in a movie.

_The Psychedelic Swirl warps and distorts the souls of all who stare into it. To cleanse this wicked artifact, you must brave the rooms of the Funhouse. You'll need a ticket to enter, but don't plan on making it back out. The owner is almost as dangerous as the Carnival Master himself._

Next to the artifact are six tickets to the Funhouse. The group places both the tickets and the Psychedelic Swirl on the table in the center of the room. Matt takes a closer look at the Swirl. "It looks like we're gonna be needing three lightbulbs, or three pieces, to complete the wheel," he observes.

"What about Calliope and Mortimer?" Nikita frets. "We don't have tickets for you guys!"

"I guess that means we can't go with you guys," says Mortimer nonchalantly. "We'll take you as far as the entrance." He looks disappointed.

 _We are not liable for death,_ says the ticket.

Joey doesn't think that he's going to have much fun.

 

The group leaves the lounge and walks up to the Funhouse. It's the creepiest Funhouse that Manny's ever seen in his entire life. The entrance features a giant cat with spirals in its eyes. There are bright lights, bright colors, and _way_ too many swirly things. It's like the place is _trying_ to brainwash them.

Then, an angry guy with a weird head walks out. _That's Willy,_ Manny realizes. _That's the guy from the drawings._

"A few rules before you suffer," snarls Willy in a menacing tone of voice. He grabs his head, twists it around, and shows the YouTubers a happy face. His personality and voice change as well. "At the end of the hallway is an elevator," he chirps. "You wanna enter in one at a time, or..." He changes back to his angry face. "I'll rip your guts out with a fishhook!" He's happy again. "The elevator will spew you into a room, which you must solve quickly!"

 _Bitch,_ Manny struggles not to snap, _choose one and stick to it!_

Willy's next face is a sad one. "Every few minutes," he says gloomily, "I'll spin the Dial of Disaster, and whatever room it lands on..." Good grief. Now he's angry again. "I will enter and take one of you out back for punishment!" He's back to happiness. "Now, a red light may flash from time to time, and when you're in the room, you must get into the elevator within five seconds." Cue the sad face. "Let's have some horrible fun. Tickets, please! Please hurry!"

After all of Willy's emotional changes, Manny feels like his _own_ head is spinning. _Do you have multiple personality disorder or some shit?_ He scowls at the Funhouse Man. _Well, at any rate, you're annoying, and I hate you. So there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Fun in the Funhouse! Also, Safiya is clever, Matt feels _so_ attacked right now, and Manny makes squeaky noises through a wall.


	37. Funhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly _how_ fun is the Funhouse? That's for Willy to know and the gang to find out.

Matt is the first to approach the Funhouse. His legs are still a bit wobbly from lack of use, but at least he can walk properly now. Time to see what this latest challenge has in store. "Wish me luck, guys."

"Good luck," says Joey.

"Good luck," says Safiya.

"Good luck," says Manny.

"Matt," worries Rosanna, "be careful!"

As soon as Matt steps into the elevator, it starts spinning, which causes the poor Detective to feel sick to his stomach. "Oh, okay!" He grabs at the blue-and-white walls in an attempt to slow things down, but there's no slowing down _this_ ride. "Hey!" His head hurts. "Stop me!"

Eventually, the elevator stops, and he's deposited into a bright pink room. "Okay." There are balloons everywhere. It's like the best birthday part he could ask for. "Oh, hey! Hi! This is fun!" As he wades his way through the balloons, he accidentally pops one. "Oh!" He jumps. "Jesus Christ!" Even though this room is awesome, he'd better stay on his guard. He can't trick himself into believing that he's safe. Not yet, anyway.

After a few minutes, Safiya comes in, followed by Rosanna. Matt couldn't be happier with this arrangement, since Rosanna and Safiya are his two favorite people in the group. Rosanna, of course, is his best friend, and although he's not as close with Safiya, she's proven herself to be smart, dependable, and kind. Together, the three of them are a force to be reckoned with.

He finds a box of candy and a note.

_That wretched woman hid all five of my treats. Put them back where they belong. And relax, you only need one per row. There's some extra in case you lose them._

Presumably, the three of them need to start popping some balloons in order to find Willy's pieces of candy, and after that, they need to put those candies in the box to complete his nicely arranged candy collection. "Grab a pin," Matt instructs the girls. "We need to find...we need to find treats...I'm assuming...hidden in the balloons."

"Okay," says Safiya.

They get to work. Matt has a needle, and he's ripping through the balloons. Safiya also has a needle, and she's also ripping through them. Rosanna doesn't have a needle. She's...trying.

One of Matt's popped balloons reveals some candy. "Okay! I found a treat!"

 

Joey enters the Funhouse. He doesn't know what to expect, but he _does_ appreciate the rainbow lights. They bring out the ambiance of the place.

The elevator spits him out into a green room where everything is sideways. He's completely disoriented. It's like he defied gravity and is somehow walking on the walls. _What's going on?_ he ponders. _Why is this room this way?_

He's soon joined by Manny and Nikita. The three of them read the note that's been left for them.

_Now that the house has gone sideways, everything is out of sorts. Hurry up and set things right._

So they have to rearrange the objects in the room. Well, if _anyone_ can pull this off, it's a pair of beauty gurus and a dead man. _Let the extreme home makeover begin!_

 

Safiya finds candy in a balloon. She can't help but feel hungry at the sight of all these sweets, but she suppresses her appetite along with her emotions. _One thing at a time,_ she reminds herself. _Survive now. Eat later._

"So this is a chewy candy that's chocolate," reports Matt, "which makes me believe that it would be here." He puts the candy into its appropriate row of the box.

Each row has been categorized in a different way. The gooey, chocolate candies are on the bottom row, which is where Safiya places the candy she just found. "All right," she says. "I have one."

Matt keeps talking. "So you have one. We need to complete all five rows. Yeah. Keep looking. They're small."

The three of them work together as a seamless unit, popping balloons and finding candy as if the task requires no effort at all. Safiya smiles. Matt and Rosanna are the best teammates she could've asked for. She's glad to be a part of whatever they've become.

Soon, they find all of the candies that they need, and a nearby chest pops open. "Oh!" exclaims Matt. "The chest opened! Here we go! Okay." He looks inside. "Oh, here's a clue. Here's a clue."

_Carnival Master corrupted one of you._

Safiya's first thought is of Colleen. _I killed her,_ she remembers. _I sealed her within an Iron Maiden. Was that enough to corrupt me?_ She brushes the question aside. _No, that_ can't _be it. I'd_ know _if I was corrupted._

Matt bites his lip. "Wait..."

 _Please,_ Safiya prays, _don't let it be Matt or Ro._

 

"We should be _doing_ something," Mortimer complains to Calliope as the helpers reenter the lounge.

Calliope, as usual, is the spitting image of solemn resolve. "You know we cannot."

Mortimer turns his attention to the Psychedelic Swirl, which is still on the table in the center of the room. He picks it up. "I've seen this one before," he insists as he tries to get a closer look.

"What are you doing?" asks Calliope.

But Mortimer ignores her concern and begins to spin the Swirl around. As he does so, it glows with an eerie orange light, and black smoke emerges from its center. The smoke hits Mortimer square in the throat. He gasps. Calliope pulls him away, but it's too late. There are already reddish-brown spirals in his eyes.

 

Manny's heart rate is climbing higher and higher with every second he spends in the topsy-turvy room. Also, his nausea and diarrhea are getting worse. It's literally becoming a Thing. He doesn't like Things. They suck.

"Listen to this one," says Joey, who's found a sideways note on the wall.

_My wife loved to peruse the encyclopedias, but she laid them around. Was it that hard to put them back together where they belong?_

Well, Manny isn't responsible for Willy's marital problems, but he _can_ help with the encyclopedia issue. "Where they belong! Okay!" He, Nikita, and Joey search the room for encyclopedias, trying not to lose their lunch in the process.

Joey finds one first. "Oh! I got an encyclopedia!"

"Okay!" Manny replies. "Great, great, great!"

"Um, this is F," says Nikita, showing off another volume.

"Okay, great, great, great!" Manny, who's collected _lots_ of encyclopedia volumes at this point, sees something on the bottom shelf. "Wait, wait, wait!" He's talking a mile a minute. "Joey! Right there! Right there! Right there! Was it that one? Right there?"

"Where?" Joey asks.

"Right there!"

Joey sees what Manny's talking about. "Yes!" He grabs the book. "A!"

"Is that A?" Manny was _wondering_ where the first letter of the alphabet was hiding.

"Oh, put it here," is Joey's next command. "Put it here. This is where it starts."

Manny takes all the encyclopedia volumes and arranges them in alphabetical order. "We need E, you guys. That's all we need, is E." _E for Exit. I want out of here._

 

Rosanna can't _stand_ the idea of one of her friends going evil. She loves them too much. _Especially_ Matt and Safiya. Matt's her platonic other half (who only _just_ returned to her), and Safiya's gone from a stranger to a dear friend in three hours flat. If one of _them_ turns to the dark side, she might just give up and cry.

"Okay." Matt examines the contents of the box. "We got a key, we got the World Encyclopedia, and we have..."

"All these rings," finishes Safiya.

"Bunch of rings," echoes Matt.

The encyclopedia is not going to help them in a room filled with candy, so it _must_ be something that they can use to help their friends. Rosanna purses her lips. "The book belongs in..."

"The book belongs in another room." Matt puts two and two together along with Rosanna. "So we have to get it to everyone else."

"Come on out!"

Oh, no! It's Willy! It's _Angry_ Willy! He _did_ say that he was going to kidnap people and take them out back for "punishment!" Rosanna doesn't know what the heck "punishment" is, and she _definitely_ doesn't want to find out, so she, Matt, and Safiya run for cover as Willy barges into the room.

But there's nowhere to hide. They're in _such_ a small space that evading capture is impossible. Willy finds them almost instantly, and when he does, he grabs Matt by his jacket and drags him away.

"No!" Matt reaches for a nearby pillar in a vain attempt to break free from the Funhouse Man's clutches. "No!"

Desperation overwhelms Rosanna. "No!" She tries to save Matt, but fails miserably. "Matt! No!" _Let him go! Leave him alone! I can't lose him again!_

 

The _last_ time Matt was grabbed by a monster, he was subsequently dragged to his death. Now, as Willy's rough hands grip his collar, sweat soaks his brow, and the girls scream his name, he can't see past a litany of awful memories.

_"You ready to die?"_

"Take the key!" His last act before he's forced out of the candy room is to hand the key to Safiya. "Just use the key on the box!"

_"You're gonna die!"_

Rosanna's tears, both past and present, follow Matt and Willy through the door.

Matt's frazzled brain braces itself. "Are you going to kill me?" he asks in a small voice as Willy marches him down the hall and into the waiting elevator.

"Why should I tell _you?"_ snarls Willy, who's still in Angry Mode. "No one ever told _me_ a goddamn thing! My world was hell, and my wife was a bitch, and the Carnival Master was the only one who lifted a _finger_ to save me from her. Why do you think I joined him?" He pauses, glances at Matt's left hand, snorts, and continues. "Yours will break you, too, you know, if I don't break you first. Just like mine did to me. Mark my words."

Matt frowns. "What are you talking about?"

"You know _damn well_ what I'm talking about." Willy shoves Matt out of the elevator. "Don't think that I don't see that worthless ring."

Before Matt has the chance to launch into his _how_ dare _you talk about Steph like that, she's the best thing that ever happened to me, your wife doesn't represent the entire female population_ rant, they reach the back of the Funhouse, and Willy throws Matt into a chain-link prison. _Why me?_ Matt almost screams at the Funhouse Man's retreating figure. _Leave me alone, Four Face!_

"Hello?" Matt yells into the darkness of Everlock.

No answer.

He looks for a way out. He tries ramming down the door, and when that doesn't work, he checks the ground for anything that might be a key to help him pick the lock on his cage. He even tries to scale the wall. Sadly, none of his escape attempts are successful.

 _Well,_ he thinks, _this is a milder punishment than I was expecting...but I_ still _don't like it. I gotta get out!_

 

Safiya's somewhat shaken by Matt's capture, especially since a) they _just_ got him back from the dead, and b) it's unclear what Willy meant by "punishment." Hopefully, he only meant imprisonment and not torture, death, or worse. After all, poor Matt has suffered enough.

On the bright side, Safiya and Rosanna have a key. "Here!" Rosanna gestures to a locked silver cabinet. "This is a lock!"

"Oh," says Safiya.

As the girls inspect the lock, they can hear Matt holler "Hello!" from outside. He sounds scared, but he doesn't sound like he's in pain, and he's alive, which is a _huge_ relief.

"Matt!" shrieks Rosanna.

Safiya uses the key to unlock the cabinet. "Matt, we're gonna come help you, okay?" she shouts to her captured ally.

"Here we go!" Rosanna rejoices as the girls open the cabinet. Inside is a puzzle of color wheels, some of which are on pegs and some of which aren't. There's a note on the inside of the cabinet door.

_This was one of my favorite pieces...till my wife smashed it. Reassemble it just right, or else._

Safiya reads it to Rosanna as "reassemble it just right, please" in an attempt to soften Willy's harsh words. "It's gotta be based on the colors," she says once she's done with the note. "So the colors must be similar to those around it." She tries to line up the wheels so that each one is next to one of a matching color, but then, she runs out of wheels with the right colors. "This is wrong," she admits. "This is wrong."

"Maybe there's something in another room that Joey, Manny, and Nikita can help us with," suggests Rosanna.

Safiya smiles affectionately at her little Jet Setter friend. "Yeah." She crosses her fingers behind her back. "Maybe."

 

Nikita would like to _leave_ now, please and thank you. This room's a _mess._ There's a _lot_ more that needs to be rearranged than just a few little objects. For starters, whoever did the interior decorating _had_ to be drunk, or at _least_ stoned. Why _else_ would everything be sideways? It makes no goddamn sense!

Manny, who's given up on the encyclopedia nonsense, finds a map dispenser, along with a note.

_My favorite artist. I'd take one. Your friends in the other room will surely need it._

"Need what?" Joey asks.

"My favorite artist," repeats Manny. "I'd take one."

 _Oh, of course._ "Oh, wait." Nikita points to the dispenser. "Right here."

Joey takes a map from the dispenser. It turns out to be a color wheel codex, complete with a frick-ton of lollipop shapes. Nikita thinks that it connects to the room where Matt, Rosanna, and Safiya are. _Why couldn't_ we _have been sent to that room? Why did we get_ this _disaster area?_

All of a sudden, Happy Willy skips into the room, presumably to catch someone for "punishment" or whatever. "How are you guys?" he asks with a grin. "Sorry to break up the party, but it's time for one of you to come with me."

 _Like hell we will._ Nikita ducks underneath a sideways chair. Joey and Manny cower in the corner. Clearly, there's nowhere to hide, so they're all still in plain view of Willy. Much to Nikita's horror, he heads straight for her, grabs her by the arm, and drags her away.

"Nikita!" Joey shouts.

"Let her go!" implores Manny.

 _"Fine,_ bitch," scoffs Nikita. "Whatever. Take me away. Your stupid Funhouse sucks, and so do you."

Willy pushes her down the hall and into the elevator. "That's not a very nice thing to tell someone, young lady," he chuckles, as he's a goddamn preschool teacher or something. "Friendly advice: watch that tongue of yours. It might get you into trouble one of these days."

"Not as much trouble as _I'm_ gonna give _you_ if you try anything," is Nikita's angry retort. Willy can go die, honestly. She hates him, she hates his multiple personalities, and most of all, she hates his tacky clothes. The guy looks like he let a kindergartner choose his outfit for him. If he _has_ to be a lunatic, can't he at _least_ be a lunatic with style?

"I'd be scared," says Willy between giggles, "but I've heard it all before."

Fortunately for Nikita, "punishment" isn't any of the things she thought it would be. It's just a cage. Hell, Matt's already there, which means that Willy must've stopped by the other room before he visited the sideways one. _Awesome,_ thinks Nikita sarcastically. _I get to hang out with Lazarus while everyone else works their butts off in the Funhouse. Damn this town. I_ better _not die here!_

"There you are!" Willy chirps as he opens the door for Nikita.

Nikita enters the cage in a huff. "I'll _gladly_ go in here!" _I'd rather hang out in a cage than hang out with you!_

"All right." Willy closes and locks the door, trapping Matt and Nikita inside the cage together. "Have a great time, you guys. Coffee will be served later."

"Thank you," says Nikita, who could actually _use_ some coffee.

Matt seems nonplussed. "Fantastic."

"Bye!"

 _Screw you, bitch,_ grumbles Nikita to herself as Willy walks away. _This isn't over. Our friends_ will _get us out of here, and when they do, there's gonna be_ hell _to pay._

 

After Manny takes a moment to freak out _(oh no oh no he took Nikita he_ better _not hurt her I swear to God),_ he leans against the wall (or is it the floor?) to catch his breath. _She'll be fine,_ he reassures his heart. _She's tough. She can take care of herself. If I wanna see her again, I gotta focus on solving this Funhouse._

"So there's another note down here," says Joey.

_You'd never find my wife without a drink during breakfast, lunch, dinner...well, nearly all the time._

Joey points to a nearby goblet. "The drink!"

"A drink?" Manny picks up the goblet and awaits further instructions.

_I don't ever want to see that goblet again. Just put it in the rafters._

_Hmm._ So far, all of these notes have had something to do with Willy's wife. Normally, Manny might make a joke about straight people, but the situation doesn't call for it.

After a brief scan of the room, Manny finds some arrows on a pillar. "Joey, come here." He waves Joey over. "Come here. Come here. What is...it's _pointing_ at something."

"Maybe..." Joey mumbles.

Manny thrusts the goblet against the pillar. His hunch pays off, and it sticks.

"It worked," says Joey. "Okay. We still need to find that other book."

A noise startles Manny. "Omigod!" _Maybe Nikita had the right idea! There's something_ really _creepy about this place!_

 

Suddenly, a red light starts flashing. Rosanna, who was paying attention during Willy's odd little speech at the beginning of the Funhouse adventure, knows what it means. "Red light!" she squeaks. "Red light!" She grabs the encyclopedia on her way out of the candy room. "Keep working! I'm going! I'm going!"

She jumps into the elevator. It takes her to a green sideways room, which Joey and Manny are currently trying to redecorate. Nikita isn't with them. Rosanna assumes that Willy got his hands on the Troublemaker. _I hope she and Matt are okay. I don't want anyone else to get hurt._

"Joey? Manny?" The names of her friends taste like peppermints on her tongue.

Joey turns around and sees her. "Ro!"

"Omigod!" gasps Manny. "Rosanna!"

Rosanna shows them her encyclopedia, and Joey's face lights up. "She has the final book!" he proclaims.

"I have the book!" confirms Rosanna.

"You have the book?" Manny looks at Rosanna as if she solved the Hodge conjecture. "Omigod!" He gently takes the volume from her and slides it into a stack of similar volumes. This causes a nearby painting to swing down from the wall, revealing a lockbox and a note.

"Whoa!" Rosanna's glad that her encyclopedia was useful.

_I hid this money from my wife so that one day I could escape. The combination is in the constellations of the sky. Maybe a friend can give you a hand?_

When Rosanna sees the word "friend," she thinks of Safiya. _She's still in the candy room. She_ must've _found something to help us. Unless Willy went back and got her too._ She shivers at the thought.

The red light starts flashing again.

"Wait!" shouts Joey. "The red light!"

"Red light!" Rosanna cries.

"Red light. Omigod. Omigod. Omigod." Manny retrieves a piece of paper from the ground. "They need this!"

He shows it to Rosanna. She immediately recognizes the color wheels from the candy room. "Yes!" She takes it from him. "This is it! This is it!" _Safiya will be_ so _happy!_

"I was the first one in here," says Joey. "I gotta go."

Rosanna gives him the color wheel codex. "Be careful!" she cautions him, but he's already gone by the time the words leave her mouth.

 

The elevator sends Joey to Safiya's pink candy room. "Omigosh, it's so _crazy_ in here!" he observes as he stumbles through a myriad of balloons. He doesn't know which room is crazier: this one, or the sideways one. The whole Funhouse is a freak show. "What _is_ this place?"

"Joey, I need the map," is Safiya's way of welcoming him.

"Okay." He pulls it out of his pocket. "I got something with a bunch of lollipops."

Her mouth drops open. "Omigod! Perfect!" She uses the codex to help her with the color wheel puzzle she's working on. "This one is purple, yellow, blue, orange? Right here."

"Wow, this is making my eyes go crazy," Joey remarks.

The red light returns. "Oh, crap!" gulps Safiya. "That's the red light, Joey! I have to go!" She ducks out of the room and into the elevator.

"Okay," Joey calls after her. "Good luck."

 

Safiya expects the elevator to take her to where Rosanna and Manny are. Instead, she ends up alone in a lava-themed room. There are volcanoes on the walls, lights everywhere, and podiums of various sizes all over the orange floor. _Keep off the lava or start over,_ announces a sign on the podium closes to Safiya, which also features a giant button.

It doesn't take Safiya long to figure out her task. She must press the button on the "keep off" podium to get a pattern of lights. Then, she must jump around the room, being careful not to touch the floor, and do her best to press the rest of the lights in the corresponding color order.

This lava room is basically like one big Simon Says game.

 

"Jinkies, you guys," groans Nikita, "hurry!" She can't _stand_ this cage. Yeah, she's the pretty one, but she and Matt aren't birds! Can't their friends hurry up and _save_ them already?

Matt is obviously just as irritated. "Any time now, guys!" He turns to Nikita. "Do you have, like, anything in that giant bouffant of yours?"

Nikita's _done_ waiting around, so she reaches through the chain-link door and tries to pick the lock with her fingernails.

"Don't break a nail, girl!" frets Matt.

"Oh, honey," Nikita replies, "these are reinforced acrylics." She's changed her mind. She's _glad_ that Matt came back instead of Jc. He's _incredibly_ smart, he hasn't done _any_ of the things that she thought he would do, _and_ he makes people happy. They chose the right Lazarus.

She's _not_ going to be friends with him, though. She knows better.

 

"Check in the room if there's any stars anywhere," says Manny to Rosanna. "Check outside the window and see if there's any stars outside."

Rosanna is confused. "Any _stars?_ It's daytime!"

"Just check, just in case," is Manny's reply.

"It's daytime." It's nighttime outside, but inside the Funhouse, everything is bright and colorful. Rosanna checks under some blankets. "Any stars? Any stars?"

The stars don't answer.

 

With Safiya gone, Joey is left to finish the color wheel puzzle. "This one," he mutters, "and then..." He places the final wheel into its proper place. "This one right here."

_"You did a good job,"_ says Willy's happy voice over the loudspeaker. _"You've completed this room!"_

Joey leaves the candy room and finds himself in a lava room with Safiya. She's hopping around as if she's a bunny rabbit on cocaine, pressing buttons as she goes. "Blue," she says.

This prompts a "What the hell?" from Joey.

"One second, Joey," apologizes Safiya, who's only _just_ noticed him.

"Okay, hi!" He takes in the explosive scenery. "What's going on in here?"

 

Rosanna's ninety-nine percent sure that there are no stars in here.

"Rosanna, do you see _any_ stars _anywhere_ in the room?" Manny sounds a bit frazzled, and honestly, who can blame him? It's been a rough night. "Any pictures of anything?"

"Okay. Let me look." Rosanna hunts around the room for stars, but finds none. "Nope. No stars. I think we're supposed to..." She waves her hand in the general direction of the elevator.

It doesn't take Manny long to understand. "Our friends have the answer, don't they?"

"Yup," says Rosanna.

As if on cue, the red light goes off again.

"All right," whispers Rosanna. "Going in here." She hops back into the elevator. "I'm in." The elevator's lights flicker around her, and she feels like a baby chick in a brightly colored pot of boiling water.

She's taken to the lava room to be with Joey and Safiya. Once she's there, she spots a beautiful constellation on the wall. _Stars._ She smiles. _This is what Manny and I were_ just _talking about. I_ have _to get these stars to him. But how?_

 

Manny's all by himself in the sideways room. This is the first time he's been alone during a challenge, and he doesn't like it. He _much_ prefers working with his friends. It's less dangerous that way. The psycho killers _always_ have a harder time axing those who stick together.

"Constellation." He sees an unfamiliar hole in the wall. "Wait, is that something?" It's not a constellation, that's for sure, but maybe he can use it to reach out to his friends. _Hey,_ he thinks as he puts his mouth close to the opening, _it's worth a shot._ "You guys! You guys! Is anyone in there?"

"Ro," he hears Safiya say, "press the red button!'

 _Okay. So they_ are _in there._ Manny sneaks a peek. There's Joey, leaping around the room like a frog in 70s getup. "Omigod! Joey! Yes! Joey! Joey! Joey!" He pounds his hands against the wall in an effort to get Joey's attention. "Joey, you can see me! I'm right here!"

Apparently, Joey is either oblivious, preoccupied, or dumb. "Green, and then..."

"Joey! I can _see_ you, bitch!" Manny doesn't like being ignored. _Especially_ in a life-or-death situation. "Get your ass back here!" He gives up on Joey and appeals to Safiya instead. "Safiya! Safiya! Safiya!"

"Yes!" answers Safiya.

Now that his friends have acknowledged his existence, Manny figures that he might as well use the peephole to take a quick look around the new room. "Okay!" _Yes! I see some stars!_ "There's constellations on the wall. I need you guys to give me that code. I'm _literally_ right here!"

"Wait! Manny!" Joey's face fills the tiny window. "Look in here!" He waves to Manny. "Hi!"

"Hi, honey!" Manny cheeps in an imitation of baby talk. "I've been calling to you this whole time!" _What am I, Mickey Mouse? No, wait. I'm Manny Mouse!_ "You've been b-b-b-busy!"

Joey chortles. "So what are you doing? What do you need?"

Manny Mouse disappears, and Manny Mua takes his place. "Left to right." He darts back to the lockbox. "Gimme the numbers! Gimme the numbers!"

"Guys!" yells Joey. "You can see!"

Rosanna counts the stars. "One, two, three, four...the first one is five!" She pauses. "Six, actually."

A laugh escapes Manny's chest.

"Six, five, four, eight!"

Manny uses Rosanna's combination to open the lockbox. "Is that it?" the small brunette wants to know.

"Yes!" confirms Manny.

Rosanna screams in victory.

"Great." There's a bundle of dollar bills inside the lockbox. "Okay, we have cash." Manny notices a lever. "What is this? What is this?" There's only one way to find out, so he gives it a pull.

 _"My, oh my!"_ announces Willy via the loudspeaker. _"You have completed the room!"_

_Thanks, honey! Still hate you!_

 

Angry Willy invades the Lava Room. Joey scrambles for a hiding place, but it's no use. The Funhouse Man makes a beeline for the panicking Savant.

Safiya, however, seems to be too busy deciphering the lights to care. "Green. What's the next one, Joey?"

"He's coming after me!" Joey screams.

"Joey," Safiya asks again, "what's the next one?"

But she never gets a response, because Willy captures Joey and drags him away. Joey struggles for a while, but honestly, he was _ready_ to be captured. He was having _quite_ some difficulty remembering what those colors were. "Where are Matt and Nikita?" he demands to know as he's pushed into the elevator.

"I don't know, Ascot," growls Willy. "Where's that girl you killed an hour ago?"

Joey turns pale. "How do you—"

"You're just as bad as me."

Colleen's pleas for mercy paralyze Joey for the rest of the trip out of the Funhouse. He barely even registers rejoining Matt and Nikita in a chain-link cage. _I'm not a monster,_ he tells himself, but his heart and mind do not believe him.

 

"A red," gasps Manny. "A red. A red. A red." He heads for the elevator, and soon enough, he's in the lava room with Rosanna and Safiya.

"I'm gonna focus on the first ones," Safiya says to Rosanna. Then, when she sees Manny, "Come in!"

Manny rolls his eyes at the obvious "floor is lava" reference on the sign. "Omigosh." He makes his way to the girls and their button.

Safiya takes charge. "All right. Here we go. All right. So I'm gonna press it, and then, I'm gonna remember the first three lights." She points to Manny. "And you remember the second three. Okay?"

"Great." Manny's down with this plan. Three heads are better than one, right?

They don't get a chance to execute their strategy before Willy shows up _a-freakin'-gain._ He's happy this time. "Oooh! Are we having _fun_ in here? Does anyone wanna go for a walk? Ooh, let's run off!" He corners Manny. "Let's run off!"

Manny doesn't want to run off with Weirdo McCreepy Face, but it doesn't matter what he wants. He's snatched up in no time flat.

"We're gonna go for a little walk," comments Willy as he takes Manny away. "Maybe reapply some mascara. Who knows?"

"I don't need to!" Manny snaps. "I have lashes on!" _Not only is this guy a nutcase, but he knows absolutely_ nothing _about makeup. You don't reapply mascara when you're wearing lashes!_ Everyone _knows that!_

Willy ignores him. "Let's go in the elevator." The doors close, and the multicolored elevator spins around the Funhouse. "There you go!" cheers Willy. "Was that so hard? Now you can see all your friends again!"

"I'm _thrilled,"_ says Manny sarcastically.

This provokes a low guffaw from Willy. "I like you," he decides. "You're funny."

 _Do I_ look _like I care what you think?_

Before long, Manny's in a cage with Matt, Nikita, and Joey. "There's no way out," laments Matt as soon as Willy's out of earshot. "If Ro and Safiya don't pull through..."

No one has the guts to finish his sentence.

 

"All right, Ro." Safiya suppresses Colleen's screams, squashes her fears about Willy's still-unknown punishment, and takes her last companion by the hand. "It's you and me now. We gotta finish this, okay? For everyone's sake."

Rosanna nods. "Okay. Let's do it."

 _That's my girl._ "I'm gonna cover the first four colors," says Safiya. "You cover the last four."

So Safiya pushes _her_ buttons, and Rosanna pushes _her_ buttons, and then, at last, the Funhouse is complete.

_"We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen,"_ sniffles Willy's sad voice over the loudspeaker. _"Both of you exit the room and claim your prize."_

The girls do as they're told. "Let the record show that the Funhouse was _not_ fun," Rosanna declares once the elevator is in motion. "I give it zero stars on Yelp."

For the first time since Colleen's death, Safiya lets herself laugh.

In due time, the elevator shudders to a stop. "Here." Safiya helps Rosanna out. "Let's go, Ro. I think that we're out of here." They still need the lightbulbs for the Psychedelic Swirl, but Safiya's sure that those lightbulbs are part of the prize that Willy mentioned. _First,_ she thinks, _we get the lightbulbs. Then, we rescue our friends...assuming that they aren't all dead by now._

Outside the Funhouse is a box, hanging by a string, with two lightbulbs inside. These must be the lightbulbs that go inside the artifact. But where's the third one?

Rosanna reads the note.

_Lucky you! Take your prize! Now, get back to the lounge and decide who among your captured friends will undertake my final challenge._

Safiya temporarily forgets how to breathe. "What?" _Oh, God. Oh, no. Not that._ Anything _but that. Don't make us hurt them. Don't make us get any more blood on our hands._

_Choose wisely. You never know what can happen in my house._

"Omigod." Safiya's first instinct is to call out for her friends. "Guys!"

Rosanna does the same. "You guys?"

A noisy commotion from the back of the Funhouse leads Safiya and Rosanna to the rest of the group. Joey, Manny, Nikita, and Matt are all imprisoned in a cage. "Omigod, guys." Safiya knows that her stoic ways have long since died a miserable death, but she couldn't care less. "How do we get you out of here?"

"Do you have a key?"

"A key?"

"Anything?"

 _Oh, no._ Safiya's hands feel cold. _How are we supposed to tell them what we're about to do?_

It's Rosanna who breaks the news to the prisoners. "We got this note," she whimpers. "It says we have to choose two of you captured for the final challenge."

"Wait." Joey's eyes are wild with fright. "So you guys get to choose which of us go into the elimination?"

"Think about everything that's been done in this game!" exclaims Matt.

"Safiya, I was helping you two in your room!" pleads Manny. "Remember that!"

Safiya's heart hurts. She doesn't want to do this. She'd forfeit her victory if it meant that she didn't have to do this. "Obviously, we're gonna pick wisely, or as wisely as we can," she says in an anguished voice, "but we _have_ to get back to the lounge."

Nikita's fingers curl around the outside of the cage. "Guys, please…"

"Be smart about this." Manny's trying and failing to stay calm. "Come on."

"We'll try and help you if we can!" Safiya almost sobs. "Come on, Ro!" _I'm sorry, guys. I wish I could save you all._

She and Rosanna run for the lounge. As they run, they can hear Nikita's final warning ringing in their ears: "Don't pick me, _bitches!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Rosanna and Safiya make the world's most painful decision.


	38. A Deadly Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Safiya and Rosanna have escaped the Funhouse. Their prize: being forced to send two of their four remaining friends to the chopping block. Who will they choose? Will the plot twists _ever_ end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A double upload again? What? Well, I'm gonna be away over the weekend, so I might as well just go ahead and get this up now. I'd say "you're welcome," but I don't think you will be thanking me.

When Safiya and Rosanna walk back into the lounge, only Calliope is there. "Hey, Calliope, where's Mortimer?" Safiya asks, dreading the answer.

"I don't know." Calliope appears to be distressed. "He left in a fright after you guys did. Something spooked him. Haven't seen him since."

This catches Safiya off guard. Mortimer got spooked? _Mortimer?_ That doesn't make sense. The man who faced an entire army of killer clowns without flinching is _not_ the type of man who'd get spooked by a vague threat. Either something truly terrifying occurred while the YouTubers were gone, or Calliope isn't telling the whole truth.

At any rate, the girls can't afford to worry about that now. They place the two lightbulbs on the Psychedelic Swirl, and once that's done, the worst arrives. _We have to kill someone._ Safiya settles into her seat on the couch with a guilt-induced stomachache. _We have to choose two people to go into the death challenge. One of those two has to die._ She thinks of Joey, Matt, Manny, and Nikita, and she reminds herself not to cry in Rosanna's presence. "What do you think, Ro?"

 

"I _can't_ put Joey in danger," says Rosanna firmly. "I wanna protect him." She feels like a mama bear defending her cub. Joey, the friend she came to save, _must_ be protected at all costs, so she's not going to put him anywhere _near_ danger. "And then...we have Matt..." Her voice breaks. "Matt _just_ came back. He _just_ came back." _I_ can't _let him die again._

"I agree," remarks Safiya. "It seems pretty unfair, you know, to put him back into another final death challenge." She sounds miserable. "So then we only have two other names."

Rosanna's suffering heart collapses. "Manny and Nikita."

 

 _So it's decided._ Safiya sighs and rests her hand against her sweat-stained forehead. _We're going to send in Manny and Nikita._ It's the logical choice. It's the _only_ choice. And yet... _dear God. They're best friends. They're_ Manny and Nikita, _and here I am, about to pit them against each other in a fight to the death._

She feels like a murderer. No. Strike that. She _is_ a murderer.

"Each of you must choose one card," mutters Calliope.

Rosanna goes first. She shows Safiya a Record Producer card. After that, it's Safiya's turn, and she selects Nikita. The Troublemaker card feels like it's about to blow up in her face. _I'm sorry, you two._ Safiya remembers a confident and strong-willed girl in pink, together with a talkative but good-hearted boy in green. _I wish it didn't have to be this way, but there are no other options. I hope you understand._

(They _won't_ understand, and she knows it.)

"What do we do now?" Rosanna murmurs.

Safiya shrugs. "I guess we just wait."

So they wait. Safiya listens to the sound of her own steady breathing, and she plans her next move. _No matter who comes back,_ she thinks, _they're going to come for us. Manny_ might _be reasonable, if we give him time, but if it's Nikita, she's not going to stop until we're dead._

She decides that she'll take the blame. She'll say that she goaded Rosanna into it, and they'll believe her, because Rosanna wouldn't hurt a fly. Sure, Safiya will get screamed at, and they'll probably throw her into the next death challenge, but she's good at challenges, and she can deal with screaming. She'll be okay. Hopefully.

 _I gotta be strong,_ her grieving mind insists. _Whatever happens, I gotta be strong for Ro._ She clenches her hands together into a single fist, and as silence rules the lounge, she struggles to hold back ten thousand tears.

 

Nikita stays close to Manny in the cage. _It's all right._ She keeps her eyes peeled for any sign of Safiya, Rosanna, or Willy. _They won't pick me. Even if they do, I'll win. I_ always _win. Same with Manny. Joey and Matt don't stand a_ chance _against us._

When Angry Willy returns, he does so by jumping into view and squirting water at the prisoners. Everyone screams. "No, no, no, no, no, no," stammers Nikita, who does _not_ want her makeup smeared by some lunatic's dumb spray gun.

"Omigod," gasps Joey.

Manny grits his teeth and closes his eyes. "Oh, God."

Willy switches to his happy setting. "Your friends that made it out safe chose..." He points at Manny and Nikita. "...you two in the middle to enter the Funhouse one last time."

It takes a moment for Nikita to understand Willy's words, but when she does, reality implodes. _Oh,_ hell _no!_ Her frantic eyes roll around in her head, first to the sky, then to the ground. _This is_ not _happening! I am_ not _going into a_ god _damn death challenge against my best friend!_

But Manny turns to look at her, and the pain in his expression forces her to accept that what Willy says is true.

 _Those bitches!_ She grabs Manny's hand and holds it so tightly that his rings dig into her palm. _They’re making me break my promise!_ In order to avoid bursting into tears in front of everyone, she channels her despair into rage. _I'll never,_ ever _forgive them!_

 

Manny feels like he's drowning in oil. _How could they do this to us?_ It's not that he's been chosen for the challenge. It's that he's been chosen to go up against Nikita. _That's_ the _real_ betrayal here. _Target me all you want, but when you target_ both _of us,_ then _you've gone too far!_

Willy, who's angry again, unlocks the door to their cage, opens it, and jabs his two pointer fingers at Matt and Joey. "You and you, scram!"

Joey and Matt run off, leaving Manny and Nikita at the mercy of the Funhouse Man.

"You and you, follow me," snarls Willy, beckoning the best friends out of the cage. Then, he goes back to being happy. "We're going to play a game!"

 _Screw you,_ grumbles Manny silently, but he doesn't have the energy to talk back. Instead, as he and Nikita follow Willy to the Funhouse, he reaches into his pocket and checks for his lucky lip gloss.

It's still there.

 

Considering that Manny and Nikita are two best friends, Matt's pretty sure that this is the worst possible scenario. (Well, aside from _him_ going into the death challenge, obviously.) He hopes that he and Rosanna are never in a similar predicament.

Of course, he thanks Rosanna and Safiya as soon as he and Joey reenter the lounge. "Thank you _so_ much. Thank you."

"I know that was a tough decision." Joey hugs Rosanna. "Thank you so much."

Matt pulls Safiya into his arms. The Investigative Reporter seems hesitant to return his embrace, but what she _does_ express to him sends a message: _friend._ Somehow, that simple word is all they need from each other.

Finally, Matt and Rosanna reunite. "Thank you so much," Matt whispers as the two soul siblings hold on to each other for dear life.

He doesn't know what will become of the two friends in the Funhouse. But he knows this: he's alive, and he has Rosanna and Safiya, and together, they'll be there for whoever's left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Manny and Nikita must go up against each other, and their tragic battle takes place within the depths of the Funhouse itself. All of this could lead to a heartbreaking end for the Sass Squad...


	39. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the battle of the best friends. Nikita and Manny fight to survive the Funhouse, and both of them know that whoever lives will lose the one they love. Or will they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dangit, guys. This part is stupid. This part is very, very, very stupid. If I could change it, I would, but this is a novelization, so I can't. Just know that steam is coming out of my ears as I write the latter half of this chapter.

Manny Mua has been friends with Nikita Dragun for several years, and he's loved her since the day he met her. She's his girl. He's her boy. That's the way it's always been. That's the way it was always supposed to be.

But now, they're going against each other in a challenge where the loser is _literally_ going to die.

_It's not fair._

Everlock was never fair.

They walk into the Funhouse together, holding hands, and as they enter the elevator, Manny feels _very_ protective of Nikita. He knows that in a few minutes, they're going to be opponents, fighting for their lives...but right now, all he wants to do is freeze time, hold her close, and keep her safe from whatever's waiting for them. She doesn't deserve to die. _Neither_ of them do. They deserve to get out of here together, like she promised.

He wraps his right arm around her shoulders, and she responds by going in for a hug. _I'm sorry, Nikita,_ he wants to say. _I wish we both could've made it._ But he can't force himself to speak, because that will make this nightmare real, so instead, he communicates his message with a warm embrace.

Only after they let go of each other (although they're still holding hands) does the elevator spin them away.

 

Nikita's devastated. She and Manny have been in this together the _whole_ time. They're best friends. Partners in crime. Badass bitches, now and forever. Why didn't Rosanna and Safiya think of that before they threw it all away?

The elevator takes them to a pink room filled with lollipops and balloons. "What is this?" Nikita wants to know.

Manny looks confused. "What in the..."

Screw it. Screw the pretty lights, screw the colors, screw the lollipops, and screw the balloons. Nikita knows what this _really_ is: a race between her and Manny. She's going to give it one hundred percent of her effort and energy, and she trusts that he'll do the same, but the guaranteed outcome—death or life without him—feels like a billion bullets to her heart.

The Troublemaker's sadness smolders into rage. "If we _do_ come back from this," she whispers dangerously, "whichever one of us it is..." Her voice drops an octave. "Those bitches will _pay."_

Manny nods. "We're going to be coming for _blood."_ He says the word "we're" so casually, as if there will still be a Manny-and-Nikita when all of this is over.

They turn to face the lollipops. _I gotta win this,_ Nikita tells herself, balling her hands into fists against her sides. _I'll save myself first. Then, once I'm okay, I'll save Manny. It's like those oxygen masks they have on airplanes. You gotta put your own mask on before you can help the person next to you._ She grits her teeth. _Manny and I are gonna be all right._

She wishes that she could believe her own bullshit.

 

 _We are_ not _fighting to the death,_ is Manny's strategy for coping with the situation. _This is a bet. A friendly competition. If I win, Nikita won't die. She will just have to wear a potato sack for a day, and I will laugh at her._ The image of Nikita pouting in a potato sack provides a bit of comfort, but it's not enough to fix him.

His hands shake as he and Nikita read the instructions in perfect unison.

_Once you complete the challenge, jump into the elevator, and it'll take you to the next room. First one through all three will have defeated the Funhouse. Step inside to begin._

The candy room's challenge features a series of lollipops, each of which must be matched its correct taste. Manny sucks on a few lollipops and almost loses his lunch on the Funhouse floor. They're _disgusting._ They're the _nastiest_ things he's _ever_ tasted in his _entire_ life. One is moldy bacon. Another is a fish, but it's the kind of fish that's been rotting in the freezer for a month. _Ugh!_ He retches. _Gross!_

"Omigod." Nikita has a hand to her mouth. "This is spicy. This is spicy. This is spicy."

Manny rubs a lollipop in and out of his mouth, making silly noises in an effort to block out the taste. _If I make it through this,_ he thinks, _I'm swearing off lollipops forever._ "Oh! That's _vile!"_ He searches for the right slot on his tray. "It's _vile._ It smells like..." His suffering mouth spits out the first thing that comes to mind. "...fish vagina."

"Um, salt, grape, cumin, Earl Gray, watermelon, jalapeno, fish," recites Nikita, who's already sorted all seven of her lollipops.

 _"You did a good job,"_ says Willy over the loudspeaker. _"You completed this room!"_

Nikita gasps and runs for the elevator. "Sorry, Manny!" she calls over her shoulder on the way out.

"Bye, babe." Even though Manny's lost the lead, he's happy for Nikita. At least she doesn't have to deal with these nasty freakin' lollipops anymore. "Good luck!"

 

Now that Nikita's no longer in the same room as Manny, it's easier for her to focus on winning the challenge. He isn't Manny anymore. He's a nameless, faceless rival, and it's her job to finish these dumb challenges before he does. That's all there is to it.

The elevator opens up to the lava room, where she finds a bucket full of beanbags, five holes in the wall, and a note.

_Toss one beanbag in each of the five holes from behind the red line. Step in the lava, and you have to start over. And no cheating! You can only take one beanbag at a time._

Okay. So this is basically a game of beanbag toss with crazy high stakes. Nikita can deal with that.

She jumps from one platform to another. "Oh, this is hard in heels!"

 

Manny _finally_ has his lollipops in order, so he rattles off their flavors to the empty room. "Bacon, watermelon, strawberry, fish, Earl Gray, peppermint, cheese."

_"It looks like you're almost there!"_ sneers Willy. 

_Frick._ Manny laughs, but he's _not_ having fun. "How close are we talking here?" _Come on, Manny. They're just lollipops. They're not gonna kill you! Suck it up and try again!_

 

"I hate this," pants Nikita between hops.

 _"Don't step in the lava,"_ Angry Willy reminds her, _"or I'll come for you!"_

Nikita's tempted to flip him off, but then again, she'll have time to do that later. For now, she'd better focus on her challenge. "One," she counts as she throws the beanbags into their holes. "Two."

Before long, she's filled four holes with beanbags.

"I think I have one more." She skips her way across the platforms. "Come on, Nikita!"

 

"Bacon, pickle, apple, fish, Earl Gray, peppermint, cheese?" guesses Manny. _Please be right. Please be right._

_"You've completed this room!"_

"Omigod, I'm right?" Manny throws his hands up in triumph. "Yeah!" He heads for the elevator.

When he gets to the lava room, Nikita's still there. She doesn't acknowledge his arrival, which is understandable, since she's too busy playing beanbag toss. _Maybe I still have a chance,_ Manny hopes. _Maybe this is where I come from behind and win it all, like one of those sports movies._ He decides to keep denying the part where his victory will spell death for Nikita.

But three seconds after Manny's grand entrance, Nikita scores her fifth hole-in-one. _"My, oh my!"_ exclaims Willy. _"You have completed the room!"_

_Shit._

 

Well, now Nikita's back in the stupid sideways room, where her Funhouse journey began. Needless to say, she doesn't feel very nostalgic.

_Riddle me this. Twist to begin._

She twists the bottom of a nearby wooden lockbox. "Twist..." All of a sudden, the bottom of the box opens, and keys spill out all over her hands and onto the floor. "Oh, bitch!" One of these keys must be the one that will unlock the box. "Come on." She scrambles for a key. "You got home drunk from the club. You've been in this situation before." The first key she tries doesn't work. "Too big. Too big."

 _"You keep doing it wrong,"_ Willy informs her. _"You've got one more clue to go."_

Nikita fights the urge to burn the Funhouse to the ground.

 

 _"There is no chance you can finish this in time!"_ Willy declares over the loudspeaker.

 _How about you shut_ all _of your mouths, bitch,_ Manny retorts internally, _before I come out there and shut them for you!_

He throws beanbag after beanbag, but all of them miss the holes. _Breathe._ His chest rises and falls with each throw. _It's gonna be all right. Remember what Nikita said. You're alive. Stay alive._ But his hands are sweaty, and his heart is speeding out of control, and his concentration won't stop breaking.

Eventually, he gets one of the beanbags into one of the holes. "There's one," he murmurs. A sliver of faith floats through his mind.

After that, he finds his groove, and he lands three more beanbags in a row. _There we go!_ He allows himself a smile. _What was that, Willy? You said I had no chance? I can't hear you over the sound of my epic comeback!_

There's a part of him, though, that fears the worst.

 

 _"You're almost done,"_ sniffles Sad Willy as Nikita tries another key, _"and I'll be sad to see you go!"_

 _Well,_ I _sure won't,_ is Nikita's last thought before she pries the box open. There's a note inside, of course. _Okay._ Her hands shiver. Manny scurries across her brain. _Not now,_ she snaps at him. _Give me time to work this out._

_Solve the riddle, find the object, and place it in its appropriate spot to win the duel: When I am young, I am tall. When I am old, I am short. Sweat makes me age, and breath is my foe._

"A candle." Her eyes widen with the realization that she's almost won. "A candle."

 

The final beanbag clatters through its hole.

_"You have completed the room!"_

Manny doesn't have time to celebrate. "Okay." He continues his breathing exercises while jogging towards the elevator. _I've still got this, right? Nikita can't be_ that _far ahead..._

 

"A candle!" Nikita grabs the candle and takes it to the center of the room. A sideways table stares at her, complete with a sideways candlestick, which is where she slides in her final clue. The puzzle is complete. She, Nikita Dragun, is coming out as the winner once again.

She's happy for about half a second before the awful truth hits her.

_My best friend..._

"Manny, I'm sorry!"

_I just killed my best friend._

 

 _"We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen!"_ announces Willy's happy voice over the loudspeaker. _"Both of you exit the rooms and claim your prize."_

Manny isn't stupid. He knows what that means. He knows that he's going to die.

What was it the Funhouse Man said at the beginning?

_"I'll rip your guts out with a fishhook!"_

_So that's my prize._ He smiles ruefully at the floor and leans against the largest podium in the lava room. _As soon as I step out of the Funhouse, I'm going to be murdered by a crazy man who can't even pick which face he wants to wear. I'm going to leave Nikita behind. I'm going to leave them_ all _behind. I'm never going to get out of here. Never._

His stomach is a twisted knot of fear. He doesn't want to go out like this, but there's no avoiding it now. He lost the challenge. He might as well just leave this place and get the painful part over with.

 

Nikita crumples. She falls to her knees with her head in her hands. Memories of Manny march across her heart like a platoon of bloody, smiling soldiers. _No._ Tears flood her eyes, her cheeks, and her palms. _Not Manny. Don't take Manny. He's all I have. Don't make me let him go._

In this moment, she's not the Troublemaker anymore. She's not the stone-cold badass bitch who doesn't feel a thing. She's just a small, soft, sad little girl, dressed in pink and white, crying her eyes out for a boy in the valley of the shadow of death.

_How am I supposed to go on alone?_

The green walls of the sideways room remind her of his outfit. He was so proud of it earlier today, grinning and twirling around in the window of her FaceTime call, asking her if it made him look cute. She wishes she could go back in time and tell him to throw it in the trash, burn Joey's note, forget about the 1970s, and stay in 2018 where he belongs.

Now, it's too late. He'll never achieve that perfect look again. He'll never expand his career, or find love, or do any of the things he wanted to do with his life. All because Safiya and Rosanna threw him to the wolves.

 _When I get back to that damn lounge,_ the darkest part of her proclaims, _I'm gonna make those heartless bitches' lives a living hell._

But the rest of her hasn't given up yet. Maybe it's hope that drives her back into the elevator, or maybe it's an insane attempt to delay the inevitable, but either way, she _needs_ to find Manny before Willy finds him first.

Soon, the elevator stops, and there he is. "Nikita..."

"No." She grabs him and holds him as hard as she can. "No."

The multicolored elevator door rumbles shut. Leftover tears drip out of Nikita's eyes, but at the same time, her grief solidifies into something harder and stronger. _Maybe I can fight Willy. What does he have? A fishhook? I have fire. That might be enough._

It's not enough, and she knows it, but she still prepares to burn.

 

As the elevator rotates (it's excruciatingly slow this time, which is probably Willy's way of prolonging their despair), the two beauty gurus clasp each other in a desperate embrace. It's as if they're trying to convince themselves that they'll be all right as long as they stay together.

Eventually, Manny pulls away, but only slightly. "Do me a favor?"

Nikita nods.

"Don't watch." The words are dry in his throat. "When it happens…just look away, or close your eyes, or something. I don't want you to see."

She looks like she's about to protest, but he pulls her close to him again, and she deflates like a balloon in his arms. "Manny," she sniffles against his chest, "I love you."

"I love you too, Nikita." He hopes that his love stays with her after he's dead. He wants her to know that he's going to spend his afterlife cheering her on. He wishes he could escape the night, but as it is, he's glad that his best friend still has a chance.

The elevator finally spins to a stop. Manny and Nikita's hug breaks apart, but he keeps one trembling arm around her. _This is it._ He breathes deeply. He slows his panicked heart to a comforting rhythm. _I can't scream. It'll hurt her more if I scream, and I've hurt her enough already. I just gotta be strong. I'm good at that._

They exit the elevator.

_Please, let me be strong._

But there is nothing to be strong about, because neither Willy nor anyone else waits outside the Funhouse to claim Manny Mua's life. Instead, the pair of friends discover a tiny box hanging by a string, along with a note.

"Wait." Manny takes the box like it's a grenade. "What _is_ this?" He reads the first sentence of the note, and he's floored by a combination of shock and joy. "Omigod."

_The sad news is, you both get to live._

Everything is beautiful. Manny feels like a prisoner pardoned from death row. _I'm going to live._ He sees astonished delight dancing in Nikita's dark brown eyes. _Nikita, too._ They hug again, but this time, they share nothing but happiness and love. _We'll be okay. For once, we'll be okay._

She's his girl. He's her boy. That's the way it's always been. That's the way it's always going to be.

Nikita clings to Manny as he finishes the note.

_Breaks my heart. It really does. The very good news, however, is that the person who voted the winner into the challenge is getting their guts torn open **right now.**_

 

"Now's as good of a time as any," says Matt, placing a note on the lounge's center table. _"Carnival Master corrupted one of you."_

 _It's me, isn't it?_ thinks Joey, but he keeps his mouth shut. "This probably means someone recently became corrupted," he theorizes.

"Matt," asks Rosanna, "do you feel funny?"

Matt laughs nervously. "Why do you think it's _me?"_

Before Rosanna can reply, the group hears heavy footsteps from outside the lounge. _Someone's coming._ Joey sits up straight, expecting pink or green.

It's Willy.

"Omigod!" Joey scrambles to his feet. "Why is _he_ here?"

"Shoot!" gulps Matt.

Rosanna runs for cover. "Omigosh. Omigosh."

Angry Willy waltzes into their supposedly safe lounge, carrying a fishhook. Joey throws a pillow at him. "Stay away!" _Is this a betrayal? Was this what it was like for GloZell and Tana?_

Matt and Rosanna bunch together for protection. Willy ignores them, choosing instead to focus his wrath on Joey and Safiya.

"Why are you here?" Joey's question is an angry shout. "We didn't go into the challenge!" He catalogues a million possibilities, each one more terrifying than the last. "What happened to them?"

 

Safiya is confused, scared, and unhappy with this turn of events. _Where are Manny and Nikita?_ she thinks frantically. _Are they dead? Why is_ he _here? What's going on? What's—_

The Funhouse Man corners her and stabs her with his fishhook.

Scorching pain rips through her gut. Her blood stains her already-red sweater. _He stabbed me._ She doesn't understand. She's tried so hard to understand every puzzle that's been thrown at her, but this one is beyond her comprehension. _Why me? I wasn't in the challenge…I wasn't supposed to be at risk…oh, God, I'm dying, I'm_ actually _dying, and I didn't even do anything worth dying for…_

Her family and friends cloud her mind. She hears Matt scream "Safiya, no!" as Willy yanks the fishhook out of her body. Rosanna's sobs ring like church bells in her ears.

 _Everything always has an explanation,_ mumbles what's left of her intellect as she falls to the ground. _There's a reason…there should be a reason…there has…to be…_

 

Safiya Nygaard is dead.

There was no warning. No explanation. No chance for her to defend herself. Just a fishhook, a surprise attack, and now, a corpse on the floor of the lounge...a corpse that was once one of Matt's closest friends.

 _Why did he kill her?_ wails Matt's spirit. _Why did she have to die?_

Willy changes his face from angry to happy. "Thanks for playing at the Funhouse," he says brightly, as if he didn't just murder Safiya in cold blood. "See ya!" He waves, shrugs, and walks out the door.

Matt runs to Safiya's body. "No!" he cries. "Safiya!" He, Joey, and Rosanna try their best to resuscitate the Investigative Reporter, but there will be no more revivals tonight. She's gone. Forever.

One thought rattles through Matt's head: _This should not have happened._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Safiya. You were the best, smartest, most capable character in that group, and you did not deserve to be fridged like this. You were, without a doubt, the most robbed character in all of Escape the Night history.  
> Next chapter: Manny and Nikita return to the group. Matt's furious. Rosanna's distraught. Joey wants to go hide in the refrigerator.


	40. What We Deserve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an unexpected (and stupid) plot twist, Safiya Nygaard has been murdered by a _fishhook_ of all things. This means that Nikita gets to keep her best friend Manny...but it also means that all hell is about to break loose.

_Take the bulb and go, before I kill you too._

"Bitch!" Nikita scrambles for the bulb, and together, she and Manny rip it out of its box. "Let's go. Come on." They're alive. They're _both_ alive. Manny won't be gutted in front of her after all. He and she will survive the horrors of Everlock, just like she promised.

"Omigod. Come on. Take it. Take it. Take it." Manny's a motormouth, as usual, but right now, his inability to stop talking serves as a reminder that he's going to be okay. "Omigod. I can't believe we're alive. We're alive. Okay. Come on."

"Come on." She runs for the lounge. Relief destroys the grief in her heart. Yeah, either Safiya or Rosanna is apparently dead now, but who _gives_ a damn? Not Nikita, that's for sure. She survived, and Manny survived, and as long as they're both still here, the rest of the world can light itself on fire for all she cares.

 _Besides,_ she thinks bitterly, _they betrayed us to the Funhouse, and whoever died voted for me. They got what they deserved._

 

"Guys, we're alive, we're alive, we're alive!" exclaims Manny as he and Nikita run into the lounge, but no one cares. They're all too busy expressing shock and disbelief over whatever the hell just happened to them.

"How did he get in here?" Joey demands to know.

Rosanna looks almost furious. "This is _not_ right!"

"Guys!" Joey notices Manny and Nikita's arrival, and his eyebrows twitch. "What happened?"

"We're alive," says Nikita. "What..."

Manny spots Safiya's dead body. "Omigod!" _It was_ her, _wasn't it?_ She _was the one who voted for Nikita!_ She _was the one who tried to kill my best friend!_ Then, with a jolt, _Does that mean Ro voted for me? If I'd won, would_ she _be dead right now? And why the hell would Ro want me dead? I thought we were friends!_

"Why is she dead?" Joey asks.

Matt's voice cracks with sorrow. "You're _both_ here? How did you both survive?"

"He told us," says Nikita slowly, "that the winner of the challenge, whoever voted us in—"

"—was gonna die. And Nikita won." Something inside Manny grows cold, freezing his tears for Safiya in place before they can appear to smudge his eye shadow. _Safiya's dead._ He exhales. _Good._ It's an awful, terrible thought, but this is an awful, terrible game, and Safiya's part of the reason why he almost died. She forced him and Nikita to go up against each other. Therefore, she deserved it.

Nikita was right all along. It's better not to care.

 

Matt's head is reeling from the blow of Safiya's death, and Manny and Nikita are only making things worse. "You don't have to say it with such an attitude." They're acting like it doesn't matter. Like _she_ doesn't matter. He knows that they just came back from a death challenge and all, but that's no reason for them to shrug off the death of one of the best people in the group as if it's a mild inconvenience.

 _"I_ think she deserved it," is Manny's casual response.

Nikita's nonplussed. "I'm just saying—"

Matt explodes like a bomb in her face. "Safiya _died!"_ How _dare_ they talk like that! How _dare_ they act like Safiya deserved to be randomly murdered without so much as a reason why! She was a good, smart, honest, _wonderful_ person, and what happened to her was _beyond_ unfair!

"Listen!" Nikita waves her finger at him. "She voted me to die, and she got what she deserved! If that was me, would you be acting the same?"

 _If that was you,_ Matt wants to say, _Safiya wouldn't act like you're acting right now._ "Shut up!"

"Don't you _dare_ tell me to—"

"Enough fighting, okay?" interrupts Joey. "This is exactly what they want us to do. They want us to be against each other! We need to come together! Otherwise, we're not gonna get out of here!"

Joey's right. Matt _knows_ he's right. Fighting won't do them any good, and it _definitely_ won't bring Safiya back from the dead. But as the Detective turns away from Mr. and Mrs. Smug, all he can think about is the terrified confusion on Safiya's face during the last few moments of her life. _She was my friend._ He struggles not to let the others see him cry. _She saved my life. Twice. I should've repaid the favor._

He's shattered, angry, and ashamed, and he wants justice for Safiya Nygaard.

(Too bad that there's no such thing as justice here.)

 

Nikita doesn't know why it's so hard for Matt to understand. She was fighting for her life! Safiya's gone, and that _is_ sad, as easy as it would be to pretend that it isn't, but at this point, Nikita _has_ to survive! She _can't_ let her heart distract her! Caring about Manny is bad enough; if she grows to care about _any_ of the others, she'll lose her goddamn mind!

"Well, that being said," she tells the group, "we found the lightbulb, and now we can cleanse this artifact." She places the bulb at the center of the Psychedelic Swirl. It glows creepily. _Willy's probably dead now. Serves the bastard right._ After she puts the Swirl with the rest of the cleansed artifacts, she rejoins the others. "All right. Let's find the next artifact."

"No." Matt cross his arms and shoots a death glare in her direction. "I'm not doing _anything_ until we find a resting place for Safiya. She deserves better than the floor."

"I agree," says Rosanna, who's been mostly quiet until now.

Even Joey nods along with them.

Nikita rolls her eyes at the ceiling. "Matt, we don't have time for this! We still gotta cleanse those artifacts before the sun comes up!"

"There's a funeral home about a block away from here," Calliope chimes in softly. "I can show you where it is, if you'd like."

"Perfect." Matt carefully picks up Safiya's corpse. "Calliope, take us there. Joey, keep an eye out for any monsters that might try and attack us on the way over. Ro, go pick some flowers or something. I think she'd like those. Manny and Nikita..." His tone quivers. "Do whatever you want."

He carries Safiya out of the lounge, with Rosanna, Joey, and Calliope trailing in his wake. Nikita sits on the couch. Manny makes a move to follow the rest of the funeral procession, but then, he changes his mind and joins Nikita.

Once Nikita's positive that everyone else is gone, she cuddles up to Manny. "Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again."

"Why would I?" He chuckles sadly. "It's like you said. We're gonna get out together."

"Yeah." Nikita remembers her promise, forged over drinks at Fat Man Slims, and she silently thanks the heavens above for keeping that promise intact. "Together." She snuggles her way into Manny's arms.

 

Rosanna feels like a bird whose wings have been clipped. Why Safiya? Why did someone as smart and nice as Safiya have to die? She shouldn't be dead. She should be _here,_ with _them,_ as a _living_ person, helping them figure out what they have to do next. Instead, she's gone. Everlock seems _so_ much crueler now that she's gone.

 _Matt came back,_ Rosanna recalls. _Why can't Safiya come back too?_

On her way to the funeral home, Rosanna sees a flower shop, and she's glad that something so beautiful exists in a town like Everlock. She sneaks into the store to take some flowers for Safiya. Rosemary for remembrance. Lilies for rebirth. Marigolds for grief. Roses for love.

"Are you all right?" Joey asks Matt. "I can help carry her, if you want."

Matt shakes his head.

When they reach their destination, Calliope opens the door to reveal a seemingly abandoned funeral home, lined with slabs of concrete where the corpses ought to go. Only one of these slabs contains a body. It's been covered, so Rosanna can't tell who it is, but the fact that the once-white cloth is now a bloody crimson color gives her a clue. She whimpers and looks away.

Matt puts Safiya on a different slab. He closes her half-open eyes, rearranges her hands in a vain attempt to cover up the blood on her sweater, and tucks her dark hair behind her ears, just the way she always did whenever she was about to get to work. Then, he steps aside. "Okay, Ro. You can put the flowers on now. I just gotta...think of something to say."

Rosanna covers Safiya's body with flowers. They go in her hair, on her chest, and at her sides, like a blanket made from a beautiful meadow. Best of all, they do what Matt's hand rearranging could not, and her fatal wound is obscured at last. "I love you, Safiya." It occurs to Rosanna that this is the first time that she's ever told Safiya that she loves her. "I love you so much." She bursts into tears. Calliope comes forward to comfort her.

"It wasn't fair what happened to you, Saf," sighs Joey. "You were a great asset to this group, and you were an even better friend. We'll miss you. Say hi to everyone else for us."

Calliope, who's still consoling Rosanna, recites a brief prayer in a language that none of them recognize. Rosanna catches the name "Safiya," which only causes her to cry even harder.

Matt's the last to speak. "Safiya..." He pauses. His eyes dart towards the entrance of the funeral home, as if he's expecting someone to come. When no one does, he sighs, takes a deep breath, and begins his speech. "You were amazing. You helped our team, you saved Teala, you looked out for Ro, and you, along with Joey, brought me back to life. If it wasn't for you, I might not be here. I owe you everything." He's about to cry. "I'm so sorry, Safiya. I should've saved you. You didn't deserve to die. If I make it out of Everlock, I'll spend the rest of my life telling everyone about all the great things you did for us. I won't let you be forgotten. I promise."

His shoulder slump. Rosanna lets go of Calliope and runs into his arms. They hold each other. For a moment, Rosanna feels a comforting presence in their midst, as if there's a third person in the hug.

A reminder pops into Rosanna's head: the afterlife exists. Matt's been there. He spoke of a church, guarded by a blond woman and an Asian man. Safiya's at that church now. They'll take care of her. She'll be all right.

Suddenly, death isn't as scary as it used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Matt and Rosanna continue to grieve, while Manny and Nikita reaffirm their promise. Joey would rather die (again) than deal with this crap. Also, loud noises.


	41. Mean Girls, Boy Scouts, and Joey Graceffa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five YouTubers are left. There are Matt and Rosanna, who are still reeling from the unfair death of Safiya. There are Manny and Nikita, who've grown a bit too confident after their escape from the Funhouse. Finally, there is Joey, who is Switzerland. Will our heroes _ever_ learn how to work as a team? Or is it every friendship for themselves?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! We have an official fandom tag now! That's why I suddenly moved all 50+ of my stuff to the "Escape the Night (Web Series)" tag. We made it. _wipes away a single tear_

It's been five minutes since Joey, Matt, Rosanna, and Calliope returned from the memorial of Safiya Nygaard. The Investigative Reporter's unused card has long since been filed away into the ticket box, and without her, the group is falling apart at the seams. _We're the Final Five,_ Joey thinks dejectedly. _We should be united, not divided._

But divided they are. On one side of the arcade, Matt and Rosanna sit in the depths of despair. "It wasn't _fair,_ Ro," whimpers a clearly broken Matt. "She didn't have a chance."

Rosanna rubs his back and offers wordless comfort, but she, too, wears pain on her small face.

On the other side, Manny and Nikita bask in the afterglow of their Funhouse victory. "They thought they could break us apart," gloats Manny quietly.

"Are you _kidding?"_ There's a hard edge to Nikita's voice. "We're in this _together."_

Joey's had it. "Okay, guys, _enough!"_ This is ridiculous. Manny and Nikita are acting like the Mean Girls of the group. Matt and Rosanna are like the Boy Scouts. Then, there's Joey, who just wants to go home. "None of us are gonna get out of here alive if we don't start working together!" At this point, he's got half a mind to stuff all four of his friends into a giant Get Along shirt until they learn how to be a team. Yeah, it would hamper their progress, but _anything's_ better than listening to the Mean Girls and the Boy Scouts bicker for the rest of the night.

 

Matt's silent vigil for Safiya is interrupted by the approaching storm that is Nikita. "Look," sighs the Troublemaker, "I know you probably don't like me—"

"I never said I don't like you." As much as Matt despises Nikita's current attitude, he can't bring himself to hate her. The same goes for Manny. They _are_ good people. But the stress of the situation, combined with the influence of Everlock, has illuminated the evil in everyone's hearts (except for Rosanna, whose heart doesn't seem to know what evil is). "I just don't like this side of you that I'm starting to see come out, okay? You seem...darker. More competitive."

Nikita's strong tones tremble with something close to misplaced grief. "You don't understand what I was going through."

Matt bristles. "I _do!"_ _Nikita, I_ literally _just got back from the dead! Between that, Jc, and Safiya, I think I understand_ plenty!

"I'm not arguing about it," says Nikita, effectively ending the conversation.

 

Rosanna sees both sides, but she _definitely_ understands where Matt is coming from, and not just because he's her best friend. _There's no shame in being a survivor,_ she reflects, _but there's also a choice to gloat about it and smile when your friends die._

"Okay, guys." Joey shakes his head. "We don't have time for this, okay? We need to find the next artifact. Let's look at the map and see what we have to do."

Calliope pulls the map off the wall. There are three new areas on it: the pump station (which is labeled _burned at the stake),_ the cemetery, and the bridge that leads to the cemetery. Rosanna recognizes the bridge as the one that they found Joey hanging around earlier.

"Where should we start?" asks Joey.

Matt makes an exhausted hand gesture. "Burned at the stake sounds exciting."

"Dead lovers?" suggests Nikita.

All of a sudden, a loud noise howls from outside. Everyone screams. Nikita flails. Matt hides behind Manny. Joey spins around in a circle. As for Rosanna, she thinks _nope,_ flaps her arms, and hops away to join her cowering friends.

Once the noise stops, Matt shouts "What the hell!"

"What was that?" gulps Rosanna.

"I don't know," Joey replies.

 _I don't want any more monsters,_ whimpers the fear in Rosanna's soul. _I just want a way back to 2018._

 

Before Nikita has a chance to give whatever made that noise a piece of her mind, the doors to the lounge fly open, and in bursts Mortimer. _There you are!_ Nikita's too annoyed to be relieved. _Where the hell have you been? We kinda still need you!_

"Mortimer!" yells Joey.

"Omigosh," Manny gasps. "Mortimer! What the heck!"

"What's going on?" Joey asks.

Matt seems mistrustful. "Where are you _coming_ from?"

Mortimer collapses against the pinball machine. "They're gonna burn him alive," he announces as he tries to catch his breath.

The group responds with "Who?" and "What?" and "Mortimer!"

"We don't have _time_ for this anymore!" Mortimer blurts out.

 _Way to not tell us anything, honey._ "Something..." is all that Nikita can think to say.

"What are you talking about?" Rosanna wants to know.

Manny throws up his hands. "We did all this shit for _your_ ass!"

But Mortimer yells "Come on!" and charges out of the arcade. The rest of the group has no choice but to run after him.

When they get to the pump station, they find a man who's been handcuffed to some hoses. He's standing over a pyre of wood, shaking in his nice shoes, wearing a suit and a bag over his head. _Why do you have a little thing over your head?_ Nikita almost asks. _Can I look? Can I take a peek, at least?_

"She'll be back soon to burn me!" exclaims Bag Head.

Matt frowns. "Who's gonna burn you?"

"One of the witches!" Bag Head squirms against his handcuffs, but it doesn't do him any good. "She'll be back soon to burn me! You have to find the key!"

Wait. Hold up. Witches? They have to deal with _witches_ now? Is this town determined to take them through the entire Halloween costume collection? Witches aren't supposed to be real! Tonight, as a whole, is not supposed to be real!

 

So apparently, some witches are about to _burn_ a man, and in order to prevent that, they have to find a key. Matt wishes he could say that he's surprised, but he's not. Things stopped making sense around here a _long_ time ago.

"Where?" questions Rosanna. "Where's the key!"

"Look around! I don't know!" hollers the guy with the bag on his head.

Joey gets moving. "Okay, guys! Split up! We need to find the key!"

Upon closer inspection, it looks like there's a weird, bloody ritual going on at the pump station. There's blood on the sign, on some nearby tires, on the windows, _everywhere._ But Matt has other things to worry about at the moment...specifically, this stranger that they're supposed to save. "Are we _sure_ we wanna help this guy?"

"Look," pleads Mortimer, "he's gonna be burned alive!"

"Who _is_ he?" Nikita asks.

Matt's not convinced that the man is trustworthy. "Everyone we've met in this town is evil!" A litany of Everlockians run through his head. Mortimer and Calliope are the only ones who haven't tried to kill the YouTubers. How do they know that this new guy isn't just another monster?

Mortimer shrugs. "We can only keep pushing forward."

"We can only keep pushing forward," Matt repeats dryly. "Great." _There's pushing forward, and then there's needlessly risking everyone's lives._ He wonders what Safiya would say about this. He wishes that he could ask her.

"Omigosh!" shouts Joey. "What is this?"

"This" is a black skull with a scroll in its mouth. "It's not a key," Rosanna realizes as Joey takes the scroll and opens it.

"Who is this..." Nikita looks over Joey's shoulder at the scroll. "You guys, it's all symbols. It looks like an equation of some sort."

Each symbol in the equation correlates to a certain number that's hidden somewhere in the gas station. Matt finds one. So does Manny. They're written in blood, just like everything else.

"I found one!" proclaims Nikita.

 _Great._ "Ro and Nikita, look for two Js," Matt tells the girls. "They're like two fishhooks opposite each other." His heart aches at the mention of fishhooks.

"Two Js, two Js," repeats Rosanna, and off she trots to look for them.

Matt scours the equation one more time. "We're missing that one...missing that one...okay...twenty-five..."

Then, not far from him, he overhears Mortimer and Calliope having a _very_ suspicious conversation. "Be strong," whispers Calliope as Mortimer hunches over in pain. "I know something is happening to you."

"Doing all right there, Mortimer?" Matt calls out.

"I'm fine!" Mortimer responds vehemently, pulling himself together. "I'm fine. I'm fine. Find the key!"

Matt blinks. If he didn't know better, he'd _swear_ that he just saw the center of Mortimer's chest glow. At any rate, despite their assistant's words, his behavior reads as pretty sketchy. Matt's Detective senses are on high alert.

 

Manny hopes that he never sees another number for the rest of his life. This whole town has been nothing but numbers, codes, and things that want to kill them, and he's sick of it. He just wants to go home, go to sleep, and pretend that this is all a screwed-up dream.

"Okay," says Joey. "I think we have them all."

Matt nods. "Okay."

While Matt and Joey solve the math equation on the hood of a nearby car, Manny tests the numbers into the lockbox where the key is.

"Ninety-eight counter-clockwise," instructs Matt.

"They're coming back," frets the guy with the bag. "You have to hurry."

"We're _trying,_ sir!" spits Nikita. "We don't even know who you are!"

As Manny inserts the numbers nine and eight into the lockbox, Rosanna comes over to check on his progress. Manny thinks that he should hate her, since she almost got him killed in the last death challenge, but...she's _Rosanna._ He can't hate _her._ She's a baby bird! How is he supposed to hate a baby bird?

So when she mutters "And then it says 'pull to open,'" he tugs open the unlocked lockbox.

Then, _right_ the hell out of nowhere, the lockbox sprays Manny with dust. He and Rosanna scream and jump away, but it's too late. His outfit is already covered in powder. _Dammit. Way to ruin a perfectly good jumpsuit. Now I gotta dry clean this thing once I get out of here!_

 

Inside the lockbox is a little man made out of wicker, plus a key and a note. "I think this is something," says Nikita.

Matt slaps Joey's hand away from the Wicker Man. "Don't touch it! Don't touch it! No!" Being the pop culture buff of the group, Matt's seen enough _Blair Witch Project_ to know that they shouldn't go grabbing weird stick creatures in the middle of the forest. That's how those kids got murdered. (Or so the movie claims. He still thinks that Mike and Josh teamed up to kill Heather and blame it on the witch, but that's another story.) "Let's stop and read the note."

"Here's the key!" hollers Nikita. "Here's the key!" 

"We don't know this—" Matt begins, but his warning is cut off by Nikita, who reads the note.

_The witches are using the Wicker Man to curse the people of Everlock. To cleanse the Wicker Man, you must reverse three of the curses that they've cast._

Oh, good! The Wicker Man is another artifact! All they have to do is cleanse it, and they'll be one step closer to leaving Everlock and going home! Then again, that also means that another person has to die, and Matt doesn't know if he's ready to go through that again. _Especially_ after Safiya.

"Do we unlock him?" Nikita asks. "We have the key!"

Matt still isn't too sure about whenever or not they should save the man. "Okay, let's put it to a vote. Do we _trust_ this guy?" _Why_ wouldn't _we want to release the sketchy person with the bag over his head that we literally know nothing about? And he's_ gotta _be one of the curses!_

"Manny, don't worry," says Rosanna to the Record Producer, who's trying to brush the dust off his clothes.

Joey fiddles with his hands. "You know, if _I_ was in that situation, _I'd_ want someone to save _me!"_

_Point taken._

 

Technically, Manny doesn't really know what the man with the bag looks like (due to, well, the _bag),_ but the guy's got a cute body, so Manny thinks that they should save him. (Yes, Manny's priorities are a bit skewed, but what can he say? If he _has_ to go through all this shit, it would be nice to at _least_ get a boyfriend out of it.)

Nikita unlocks the man's handcuffs. "Okay, ready?"

"Okay, we helped you," Joey says to the man. "You help us now."

"Freedom!" The man removes the bag to reveal...a pig snout. A _pig snout._ Well, so much for _that_ crush. Manny likes to think that he's not a shallow person, but he _does_ have standards, and guys with _literal_ pig snouts don't meet those standards.

Joey's mouth drops open. "Omigod! What happened to you?"

"What are you looking at?" snaps Pig Face. "You never seen a guy with a pig face before?"

"I've seen _one_ before," says Nikita. Manny assumes that she's talking about one of her exes.

"A young witch cursed me," Pig Face explains.

"Is there a spell to break the curse?" Rosanna's quick to ask. "The curse! The same curse you have!"

"Hold on," worries Nikita.

Pig Face points at Manny. "They got you too."

"Huh?" Manny glances down at himself. He's still covered with dust, but otherwise, he looks and feels completely fine. "What do you mean, they got me?"

"You've been cursed."

Manny scowls. Well, _that's_ just great! First, he almost died in the Funhouse. Then, the guy he was eyeing up turned out to have a pig face. Now, to top off the insanity of the last twenty minutes of his life, he's been sprayed with a _freakin'_ curse! What next? Is he going to _also_ end up as a pig?

"Now, a curse takes time to manifest," says Pig Face.

Joey bites his lip. "That's something."

"I already feel like a pig sometimes," jokes Manny, who's determined to make light of the situation. Hey, if he knows anything about fairy tales, he knows that curses are usually broken by either a counter-curse of some kind, or True Love's Kiss. Maybe this won't be so bad.

 

 _Goddammit._ Nikita wants to bang her head against the hood of the car. _Manny's cursed!_ They _just_ escaped the Funhouse by the skin of their teeth, and now, he's gone and gotten himself cursed by a magic dust spray. Just their luck. _This is why I try not to care about people!_

Mr. Pig Man holds up a key.

"Wait, wait, wait." Nikita takes a closer look. "What is this?"

"I took something from the witches," says Mr. Pig Man. He opens the car and grabs a spellbook from inside it, along with a piece of parchment. _Can we just go in the car and get out of here?_ Nikita nearly asks, but of course not.

As soon as they have the spellbook and the parchment, three witches with black cloaks and horns charge into the clearing, their wands at the ready. Everyone screams and runs for the hills.

"Shit!" gasps Mr. Pig Man.

Mortimer's in the lead. "Come on, guys!"

"Where are we going?" asks Matt.

"Inside Fat Man Slims!" is Mortimer's reply. "Come on!"

They all book it to Fat Man Slims. _Okay, fine,_ thinks Nikita once they're safely inside the little pub. _Witches it is. Let's go uncurse some bitches._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The group meets an old woman who needs their help. Also, Matt and Manny have a witchy adventure, Rosanna plays with a fan, and curses are bad, m'kay?


	42. Cursed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last, the survivors get a chance to actually _help_ someone for once. Let's hope they don't screw it up!

Rosanna feels oddly happy about their new task. They came to Everlock to save people, didn't they? So far, they haven't been able to save anyone, not even themselves...but now, they can save the man with the pig snout on his face, as well as whoever else got cursed by those awful witches. They can make a difference. They can set things right.

Of course, in order to help these people, someone still has to die.

 _Please, not Matt. I just lost Safiya. Losing Matt_ —again— _would be too much for me to take._

They roll out the piece of parchment onto the table, and they see that there's a diagram with many different curses that they need to reverse. The symbols of these curses include an Amulet of Youth, the wedding ring of a dead man, and the bloody snout of a pig.

"You're the only one with a snout," Joey says to the man with the pig snout.

The man nods and points to his snout. "This is a curse."

"So if we reverse your curse," bargains Manny, "can we have your snout?"

The man shrugs. Rosanna glances at Manny; honestly, she's worried about whatever magic _he_ got sprayed with. Right now, he's the same old Manny he's always been, but how long do they have until his curse starts to take effect? What if it's a _death_ curse? What if this is how he dies?

Suddenly, an old lady walks into the room, prompting a "Whoa!" from Manny, a gasp from Joey, and an "omigod" from Nikita. Rosanna, however, isn't startled at all. The woman is _way_ too cute to be scary.

"I thought everyone had gone home," sighs the old woman in a sad little voice. "The witches killed my brother with their curse, and then stole my youth. _Look_ at me!" Her tone trembles. "I look like a goddamn hag!"

Rosanna smiles kindly. This woman is being too hard on herself. She's adorable! "I love your overalls!"

"Yeah!" Joey agrees. "Super cute."

"Corduroy," notices Rosanna.

Matt speaks in a compassionate voice. "How can we help you?"

"Silver hair's in!" says Joey.

"Very," remarks Nikita. She should know. She's one of the two fashionistas in the group.

 _This must be another one of the curses we have to break,_ thinks Rosanna. _It probably has something to do with the Amulet of Youth. We need to make her young again._ The Jet Setter can hardly contain her joy at the prospect of helping the cursed townspeople. _Oh, I bet she'll be_ so _happy once she's back to how she was before!_

 

Matt feels _so_ bad for this woman. Sure, the five surviving YouTubers have all experienced their fair share of death, but none of them have _ever_ lost a sibling. Heck, Matt doesn't even _have_ any siblings. (Well, not any biological ones. He sees Rosanna as his sister, but technically, she doesn't share his DNA, so she only sort of counts.) He can't _imagine_ the pain that the old lady must be going through right now.

"Guys, guys, guys, guys!" Joey has the spellbook open. "There's a resurrection spell in here."

Resurrection. Now _there's_ a concept that Matt understands.

The old woman's face lights up with hope.

"Where do we find him?" asks Joey.

"His bones are..." The woman struggles to reply through her sorrow. "...in the cemetery."

Joey thumbs through the pages of the spellbook. "We have the Swine Undone, we have the resurrection spell, and we have the transformation spell."

"I think I should do that," offers Manny.

"Yes, the transformation spell will help you disguise yourself to look like one of the witch's lovers," explains the old woman.

"Oh." Manny doesn't look too eager to do that anymore. "Hey."

Matt bristles. Yeah, he's a team player, but he does _not_ want to transform himself into _anybody's_ lover. He's been happily married for almost six years! He's _not_ about to cheat on Stephanie with a _witch_ of all people! Even if it _is_ for the sake of saving someone's life!

"So who wants to come with me to help Pig Face over here?" asks Mortimer.

Well, it's either that or the Witch Love Hotel, so Matt raises his hand. "I gotcha." He notices that the only other raised hand in the room belongs to a certain Record Producer. _Okay, then. I guess Manny and I are gonna work together on this one._ "Let's do it."

"We got it, Matt," says Manny nervously.

The boys rip out two pages from the spellbook: the Swine Undone spell, and an invisibility spell. Matt's never cast any spells before tonight, but he's also never come back from the _dead_ before tonight. There really _is_ a first time for everything.

Matt, Manny, and Mortimer leave Fat Man Slims. "Don't get tagged again!" Nikita calls after them.

Pig Face's advice is a bit more on the nose. "Don't screw it up."

 

First of all, Nikita's tendency not to trust the Everlockians remains _very_ much in effect. This old lady could be a _bruja._ Nikita's Mexican mama taught her about these things. Draguns don't mess with _cucuys,_ and they don't mess with _brujas._

Second of all, she's _still_ rattled about the whole "Manny's cursed now" thing, and she sure as _frick_ isn't comfortable with sending him out to do a mission at the moment. _Especially_ when there are witches running about. What if they get him? Or what if the curse manifests, something terrible happens, and she's not there to do anything about it?

 _God freakin' dammit._ A frown snakes across her face. _I almost lose my best friend_ once, _and next thing I know, I'm a freakin' mother hen._ Her eyes travel to the window of Fat Man Slims. _Matt..._ She sighs. _You said you didn't hate me for the Safiya thing, so I guess I gotta trust you on this one, cause Lord only knows if Mortimer's worth trusting anymore. Keep Manny safe for me. Don't let anything happen to him. That's how you can prove you don't hate me._

"So..." Joey's still flipping through the book. "I don't know where to begin."

Before he can figure out where to begin, a witch barges into the pub. Nikita, who doesn't want to get cursed, hides under one of the tables. Joey, Rosanna, and Calliope follow suit. The old lady freezes in place, her shoulders shaking, her teary eyes wide with fear, as the witch zeroes in on her.

"Where did they go, old lady?" snaps the witch. "Tell me!" She holds her wand against the side of the old lady's head, and it glows with a threatening red color. "You _know_ what I can do."

The old lady stays silent.

The witch sighs angrily and pulls her wand away. "I don't have time for this. I've got to go meet my lover." She storms out of Fat Man Slims.

Nikita, Calliope, Joey, and Rosanna come out of hiding. "Omigod," breathes Joey. "Guys, she's gone."

"That was the witch who killed my brother," sob-stammers the old woman.

Nikita says the first thing that comes into her mind, which is "That filthy witch bitch!"

"She saves the bones of her victims in the cemetery. She lures men there at night and..." The old woman closes her eyes and speaks in a slow, disgusted voice, as if she's repeating an evil secret. "...has her way with them...before killing them."

Nikita grimaces. _So this witch bitch kills guys after screwing them? Damn! Talk about going out with a bang!_

 

Joey's lost people to dangerous women in the past, so he's familiar with the threat that this witch poses to their little group. He trusts that his two male friends who are out helping Pig Face aren't in danger of being magically sexed to death, since one's too married and the other's too gay, but... _didn't the old woman say that one of us has to disguise ourselves to look like one of the witch's lovers? And since I'm the only guy here right now, does that mean_ I _have to do it?!?_

His homosexuality is _not_ okay with this.

Whatever. He'll freak out later. For now, he and the girls have to focus on the resurrection spell. "All right. Listen up, guys."

_To bring someone back from the grave, you will need to place their bones in a ritual urn and surround it by emblems of the four elements, which lie hidden in plain sight._

Below this is a list of the four things they need: _soil of the sun, wind of the gods, metal flame, petrified rain._

"Come on," says Joey. "Let's find this."

"Uh...soil of the sun..." mutters Nikita as she and Rosanna study the spell.

The group start searching Fat Man Slims for the element emblems that they need. At first, they don't find anything, but then, Joey discovers a sunflower in a pot. _Maybe this is something._ He picks it up.

Nikita is quick to understand. "Soil of the sun!" she shouts, pointing at the flower. "Sunflower!"

Joey brings the flower over to their table. "So this is like earth." _One down. Three to go._

 

Rosanna forces herself to stop fretting over whenever or not Matt will come back from his mission. Of _course_ he will. He's _Matt._ He _always_ comes back. Now, she needs to make sure that the old woman's brother has a chance to do the same.

Soon, she catches sight of a paper fan on a nearby table. "I found a fan! Is it wind?" She fans herself. A gentle breeze tickles her face and hair.

"Yes," says Joey proudly. "Exactly, Ro."

The fan represents the "wind of the gods," while the sunflower is, of course, the "soil of the sun." Now, they just need a "metal flame" and "petrified water" to complete their elemental search.

Joey is next to find something. "Wait." He picks up a lighter. "Do you think it's this?"

"A lighter!" remarks Rosanna. _That's the metal flame! It_ has _to be!_

"A lighter," Joey agrees. "Yeah." He puts it with the sunflower and the fan.

Nikita checks the last item on the list. "Petrified rain." She raises an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

"Probably with the liquids?" suggests Joey.

Joey and Rosanna check behind the counter of the bar for petrified rain. "A water bottle?" is Nikita's idea. "That's petrified rain?"

But Joey shakes his head. "A water bottle? That's _purified!"_

Rosanna cringes with confusion. She knows what purified water is, of course, since she's a baker, but she doesn't remember "petrified water" being a requirement in any of her recipes. _Oh, well. At least I'm learning new things._

"What if it..." Joey pours an ice cube into his hand. "It wouldn't be an ice cube, would it?"

Nikita whirls around to face him. "Wait! Petrified! Yes!"

"We have all four elements!" cheers Rosanna. "Now we can bring...oh, wait." Her cheeks flush with embarrassment. "I'm _so_ sorry. We forgot to introduce ourselves." She curtsies to the old woman. "I'm Rosanna, but everyone calls me Ro. This is Joey, that's Nikita, and that's Calliope. Our friends who just left are Matt, Manny, and Mortimer. What's _your_ name?"

A trace of comfort flickers in the old woman's eyes. "My name is Maria."

"Hi, Maria." Rosanna's heart swells with affection. "We're here to help, okay? We came to save Everlock, and that _includes_ you and your brother. You'll see him again. I promise." She hopes that Maria believes her.

Joey reads from the spellbook.

_To bring someone back from the grave, you will need to place their bones in a ritual urn..._

"Oh," says Joey. "We need to put the bones in an urn."

Nikita gestures to him. "We _have_ to transform you. That was the transformation. We have—"

 _"I_ have to get the bones?" gulps Joey.

"Yes," whimpers Maria. "Yes, absolutely."

 _Sorry, Joey,_ sighs Rosanna's heart. _It's for the greater good._

 

 _Ha!_ Manny squashes a giggle as he, Matt, and Mortimer sneak away from Fat Man Slims. _Sucks to be you, Joey! I hope you and your witch girlfriend are very happy together! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go hang out with Matt! And Mortimer,_ he reminds himself. _Mortimer is also here._

"Guys." Mortimer stops dead in his tracks. "Witches. Come on." He ducks behind a building. Matt and Manny follow his lead.

Once they're out of sight, the boys get a clear view of a pair of witches in a clearing. The witches are casting a spell. "Curse the innocent!" they chant. "Redeem the evil! Open the sky and pour out your darkness, that we might see your wicked ways!"

Manny's hands curl up into fists. _Oh no you don't, bitches!_

"All right, come on," says Mortimer quietly. "What does the spellbook say?"

Matt has the pages from the spellbook. "We need to find a cloak and white sand," he reports.

Mortimer points to the other page. "And what does _this_ one say?"

"This one. Swine Undone." As Matt reads from the spell, the small group huddles close together to get a better view of their instructions.

_To remove the curse of the greedy pig, you require a potion made from mixing elk's blood, yeti's milk, and salamander eyeballs in a silver flask._

There's a huge shelf of ingredients next to the witches. "What we need is probably on that shelf," assumes Matt, peeking around the corner at the scene. "But the witches are _right_ there, and they don't seem to be moving."

 _Frick._ Manny's skin tingles, and the anxious part of him suspects that his curse might have something to do with it.

"They might be distracted while they're casting their spells," says Mortimer.

Manny grins. "I think you're right!" Of course! While the witches are casting, the boys can grab all the ingredients they want, and the witches will be too preoccupied by their dumb spells to notice! _Perfect! Why didn't_ I _think of that?_

Matt and Manny tiptoe out of their hiding place and make a beeline for the nearest tree, where they regroup to double-check their list of ingredients. "Remember," whispers Matt, "cloak..."

He never gets farther than "cloak" before the witches stop casting spells. One of them checks behind the tree, spots Matt and Manny, and charges towards them.

"Omigod!" gasps Manny.

Matt makes a noise that sounds like the love child of a scream and a smart remark.

The two of them run away from the witch and into the clearing. "Go that way!" Manny stammers in Matt's direction. "Go that way!" His heart is so loud that he's pretty sure they can hear it on the moon.

"Get them!" shrieks the witch who sniffed them out.

All bets are off. The boys are now on opposite sides of the clearing. Their only hope is to try and distract the witches away from each other. Otherwise, they're probably gonna end up as frogs or some shit, and Manny likes being a human person, thank you very much. Besides, he's _already_ cursed. The question _"Can a bitch get cursed twice?"_ is _not_ a question that needs to be answered.

 

Matt comes to the realization that this task _won't_ be an easy one to accomplish. He and Manny have six ingredients to retrieve, two angry witches who want to curse them, and no backup whatsoever. It's going to take a _lot_ of teamwork to pull _this_ one off.

So they take turns putting themselves in danger. "Hey!" says Manny to the witches, distracting them so that Matt can retrieve the cloak from the shelf. Then, they switch off, and _Matt_ distracts the witches while _Manny_ goes to get ingredients.

"You can run," threatens one of the witches, "but you can't hide."

"Apparently not," snarks Matt.

The witch's face reddens with anger. "Sister!"

Matt ducks back into hiding. "I got the cloak, Manny," he announces, setting said cloak against a fencepost.

Manny, whose arms are full of ingredients, barely has time to say "Good job!" before a witch chases him out of the clearing.

At this point, Matt's been running for so long that his whole body feels absolutely exhausted. "Come on!" He spreads his arms open and hollers at the witches. In doing so, he takes their eyes off of Manny, who races back to get some more ingredients. "Think you're so bad?" snickers Matt. "Can't even cast a magic spell, and me, I'm just inches away from you!"

"Shut it!" snarls a witch.

Matt's not in the mood to shut it. "Come on!" He makes a break for it...only to trip and fall flat on his butt. "Aw, dammit!"

Next thing he knows, the witches are hovering over him.

"Matt!" yells Mortimer. "Come on!"

 _It's too late._ Matt closes his eyes. _I think I'm about to be either cursed or killed. At least I managed to draw them away from Manny._

One of the witches casts a spell. Tiny sparks of magic shower Matt like burning rain. Surprisingly enough, getting cursed doesn't hurt at all, but the jittery feeling that forms in the pit of his stomach _more_ than makes up for the lack of pain.

"Begone!" scoffs a witch.

Matt stumbles to his feet and runs off. _I'm cursed._ What that means, he doesn't know, but it _can't_ be anything good.

 

Joey, Nikita, Rosanna, and Calliope gather at the bridge that leads to the cemetery. Joey _still_ doesn't want to flirt with a witch, but he doesn't have much of a choice, so he stands in front of the bridge as Rosanna and Nikita recite the spell that will transform him into one of the lovers.

_"With this spell we recite, let thou walk as them tonight."_

The spell flows in and around Joey. He expects to become hotter, manlier, and straighter, but no such luck. He doesn't change at all.

Calliope narrows her eyes at him. "Do you feel any different?"

"No." Joey still feels like Joey, and that's not a good thing, because _guess what! I'm gay!_ He takes a deep breath. _It looks like Straight Joey is gonna have to come out for a quick moment._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Straight Joey. Just...straight Joey. Also, Nikita flirts with a dead man, Rosanna wants to help, Matt has a nice chat with Mortimer, and Manny is Harry Potter now. Don't ask questions. This episode was wild.


	43. A Straight Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We interrupt this horror novel to bring you the silly adventures of Joey Graceffa, a Known Gay, pretending to be straight. Let's enjoy the comic relief while we can!

Straight Joey is a relic from Joey Graceffa's closet that he never thought he'd need again. But here he is, walking with a frat boy swagger in his step, off to impress a girl who probably wants to kill him with her vagina. What a crazy world he lives in.

"That's good," praises Calliope. "That's very good. Go get 'em, lover boy."

Rosanna is her usual inspiring self. "Nice, Joey! Nice! You got this!"

 _Daniel,_ thinks Joey on his way into the graveyard, _I'm incredibly sorry for what's about to happen._ His boyfriend's face enters his mind. _God,_ how long has it been since they last saw each other? A year? _Two_ years? Does Daniel know...

Joey can't bear to finish that thought.

He finds the witch in the middle of the graveyard. "Hey." His voice is deeper, huskier, and (supposedly) more suave than usual. "Sup." _Is this how straight people talk? I have no idea what I'm doing._

The witch turns around, notices him, and smiles. "Hey, lover boy."

"How's it going?" Joey asks.

"Good," she purrs. "I've been waiting for you."

"Yeah."

"Yes." She holds him by his coat and tugs him closer to her. "Come with me."

Joey gulps. "Uh. So. Uh, okay." He's shaking in his boots. He feels like she can sniff the gay right off him.

As he fights to force himself into the Straight Mindset _(Girls...uh...have nice hair! I like people with nice hair!),_ the witch moves in a circle around him, tracing her hand lightly across his arms and back. "Tell me a poem," she practically moans.

"Um...uh.." Joey doesn't know many poems off the top of his head, so he makes one up.

 _"Bones are good._  
_Bones are fun._  
_Don't you just love_  
_To tell me where the bones are?"_

It's no Robert Frost, but it seems to be enough to charm the witch. "Take these hands out of your pocket, baby," she coos, removing his freezing hands from the safety of his pockets.

"Okay," says Joey, but what he _wants_ to say is _Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down! Let's pause for a moment! Where those bones at?_ "You know what? I have a kink."

She opens his coat and rubs his chest. "Please, tell me all about it."

"So..." Joey's eyes bounce around the graveyard like a pair of Ping-Pong balls. "I really am into...bones."

"Tell me more."

 _Oops. Time for some bullcrap._ "Well...um...big bones...small bones..." He does his best to ignore the fact that she's stroking his face. "Any kind of bone, really, I'll be happy with."

He's hoping that she'll just show him the bones so that he can signal Nikita to retrieve them. Instead, the witch continues to get frisky with him, even going so far as to strip him of his coat. _Oh, dear._ Joey's Stranger Danger alarm is overpowering his fake straightness. He wants _out_ of here, _now,_ before things go too far.

"Okay." _Joey, say something. Anything._ "Um..."

"Do you love me?" the witch demands to know.

"Yeah," Joey lies. "Of _course_ I love you. You're...you're the most beautiful witch I've ever seen." Since he hasn't seen very many witches, it's _technically_ not a lie.

Her hand rests on his cheek. "More than your wife?"

Another easy question. "Yes. _Definitely_ more than my wife." He doesn't have a wife. He'll _never_ have a wife, even if he _does_ survive Everlock. Now, if she had asked him if he loves her more than his _boyfriend,_ that might've been a problem.

"Okay, baby." She reaches for his hand. "Come with me."

"Okay," he whispers, not sure that he wants to know where this is going.

She leads him to one of the gravestones. "These are your bones."

"These ones?" he asks. "Right here?"

"These are the bones that you want."

 _All right!_ cheers Joey internally. _Great!_ "Okay." He gestures to the gravestone in question, so that Nikita knows where to go. _Now I just gotta get out of this situation._

But the witch isn't making that easy for him. "So come with me now," she insists, pulling him away with her. "Are you happy?"

Joey doesn't want to be cursed or killed, so he says "Yeah."

"Do you love me?"

"Yeah. I love you." He points to the bones one last time, and out comes Nikita, ready to claim them. The witch is too busy fondling Joey's midsection to notice.

Soon, Joey finds himself pinned against a wall by the witch, who is _clearly_ not a believer in taking things slow. "Um...oh, wow!" is Joey's gentle attempt at slamming the brakes without pissing her off. "Yup. Okay. Whoo!"

Nikita grabs the bones and runs back into hiding with Rosanna and Calliope.

The witch tries to unbutton Joey's shirt, but he lightly pushes her hands away from him. "It's a little too cold to unbutton," he rationalizes.

"You're no fun," she pouts.

He feels slightly insulted. "What do you mean, I'm no fun?"

"Take it off," she orders him. "Show me how much you love me."

 _No._ Joey stares blankly at her, as if she just told him to set himself on fire. _No, I don't want to._ His mind scrambles for an excuse to leave.

Then, all of a sudden, Rosanna and Nikita make funny noises, which catch the witch's attention.

On one hand, Joey's glad for the distraction. Who _knows_ what the witch might've tried to do if the girls had stayed quiet? But on the other hand, they just blew his cover. _Time to go._ "Ah, you know what..."

"What is _that?"_ snaps the witch.

"I...actually..."

"What _is_ that?"

"I think I actually..."

The witch peeks around the corner just in time to see the fleeing girls. She whirls on Joey. The lust in her eyes has been replaced with betrayal.

Joey backs away. "I just remembered...I actually..."

"Was this a ruse?" the witch growls.

"No!"

But it's too late. She whips out her wand and curses him. "Get away from me!"

Joey obliges. "Guys!" he yells as he runs after the girls. "Go! Go! Go! Go!"

He, Nikita, Rosanna, and Calliope take off with the bones. _Don't think about the fact that you were just cursed by a witch,_ Joey tells himself. _Stay positive. You have the bones, and you have the elements, so now you can bring Maria's brother back to life. Plus, you don't have to be straight anymore._

 

Team Resurrection reunites in another part of the graveyard. "These are the bones," stammers an obviously shaken Joey. "We need to put the bones in the urn."

Nikita helps the others put the bones into the silver urn. Her powers, as well as her energy in general, are flourishing in this crazy-ass town. It might be scary, but it's also _really_ cool. She's _definitely_ going to have to tweet about it later.

After they've surrounded the urn with the four elements they got from Fat Man Slims, Nikita, Joey, and Rosanna read the resurrection spell together.

_"What once was lost returns with no cost. Souls sent to the—"_

All three of them stumble over the next word for fifteen seconds before they realize that it says "gate." Nikita feels stupid.

"Okay," says Joey. "Let's redo it."

_"What once was lost returns with no cost. Souls sent to the gate rebel against you. Fate restores the body whole. Your life renewed, a new soul."_

_Can't we just do this shit when people from_ our _group die?_ Nikita wonders, but before she can come up with the answer to that, a shiny portal opens in a nearby mausoleum. Everyone screams.

Out steps a guy with no shirt on.

Joey grins. "Oh. Hello."

 _For a dead man, he's looking pretty cute,_ thinks Nikita, who feels a bit weak in the knees. She's not the only one ogling him; Joey, too, seems to be enjoying the view. Even _Rosanna's_ blushing.

Well, since Nikita saw the cute guy first, she should be the first to make a move. It's only fair. "Can I just say something, sir?" She grabs her possible future boyfriend by the arm.

"What?" asks the guy.

"You look _amazing."_ Nikita uses her eyes to scan him up and down. "Um, you're not wearing that much clothing, but I _do_ see a ring." _Wedding ring of a dead man. Dammit. Looks like I'm not getting lucky with this one._ "So, um, I think we—"

"We need your ring!" Rosanna squeaks.

"Come on," Nikita commands the hottie. "Come with us."

The man shakes his head. "It's my wedding ring!"

"It's to help save people," pleads Rosanna.

"Yeah," Joey agrees.

This argument is enough to convince the man. "Here." He hands them his ring. "Take it."

The YouTubers thank him. Then, Joey says "okay, all right, let's go," and they _(very_ reluctantly) leave the resurrected cutie behind.

 

Matt is frustrated. He and Manny have been running around the witches' clearing like headless chickens, scouring the area for the right ingredients, all while trying not to think about the curses that lie dormant in their bodies. But as of now, the cloak is all they have to show for it.

"What do you have?" asks Mortimer.

Matt looks forlornly at the empty jar in his hands. "I have _nothing!"_ he wails. "We found a cloak..."

"I had random oils," sighs Manny. "Nothing."

Exhaustion takes control of Matt's brain. "I tried to grab literally everything that I could find."

They look over at the witches, who are still standing in the middle of the clearing. One witch walks over to a sundial, adjusts it, and walks back.

"Wait." Matt has an epiphany. "Maybe the _sundial_ is the answer. Maybe that's where the ingredients are." He turns to his teammate. "Manny, how about you and I go check it out, just in case?"

Manny's lips curve into a grin. "Sounds like a plan."

The boys creep their way to the sundial, and lo and behold, there's a container of while sand. It's _just_ what they need to finish their invisibility cloak. "Okay," Matt hisses. "We got sand. Come on." They run back into hiding. "Go, go, go, go, go."

Come to think of it, maybe they should've been focusing their search around the edges, instead of straight in the middle. _Ah, hindsight._ Matt frowns at the ground. _Always twenty-twenty._ "We got everything!"

 

"Can I wear the cloak?" begs Manny as soon as they have what they need to cast the invisibility spell. "Please?" He's always wanted to have special powers, even if they're only temporary, and now's his chance. He _can't_ let it go to waste.

Mortimer shrugs. "Matt? Are you all right with—"

"Just let him have it," grumbles Matt. "I'm too tired to be invisible right now."

So, with some help from Mortimer, Manny puts on the cloak. Then, he tosses a handful of sand over his shoulder, and just like that, the invisibility spell is cast. "Whaddya think?" he asks proudly. "Can you guys see me?"

Matt and Mortimer both shake their heads.

 _I'm invisible!_ Manny is living the full Harry Potter fantasy. _Do I go to the boys' locker room? Do I sneak up behind Nikita and say "boo?" Do I steal the witches' wands, snap them in half, and throw them in the trash? I can do anything!_

"This is only gonna last five minutes," Mortimer reminds him.

Manny's face falls with disappointment. "Five minutes?" _Shit. There go half my plans._

"You got it," says Mortimer. "We'll be here."

After making sure that the cloak is securely wrapped around his shoulders, Manny tiptoes back into the clearing to get the ingredients for the Swine Undone spell. "Go for it, Manny!" he hears Matt call after him. "You got this!"

 _That's_ another _good thing about being invisible,_ thinks Manny. _No one can see how much I'm blushing right now._

There's a big pillar of ingredients in the center of the clearing. Manny looks through the entire pillar, but there's nothing that they're looking for. _You have_ got _to be kidding me!_ he complains silently. _Not a_ single _ingredient we need? That's impossible!_

 

Since Manny's off being the Invisible Man, Matt figures that now is the _perfect_ time to have a friendly chat with Mortimer. So, after shouting "You gotta hurry, Manny!" at what appears to be a patch of empty air, he turns to face their helper. "So, Mortimer, you feeling okay, buddy? I know it's been a long night." He thinks of Safiya, Jc, and everyone else they've lost. "It's been a long night for all of us."

"We just gotta get through this," Mortimer replies.

"I agree." _The Carnival Master corrupted someone in our group, and given the evidence, Mortimer is the most likely suspect._ "You've proven your trust to us tonight. I was skeptical of you at first, but don't..." He fishes for the right words. "I don't want you going and betraying us, all right?

Mortimer stares at the ground. "Of course not."

"If there's anything we can do to help," finishes Matt, "let us know." 

"Thanks," says Mortimer.

"Of course." Matt hesitantly changes the subject to the Harry Potter madness that's happening in the clearing. "Who would've realized that being invisible would be so challenging?" _If you really_ are _corrupted, it's not your fault. We can still help you. You just gotta tell us that you need help._

 

Manny sees a briefcase on the ground next to the shelf. He giggles softly. _Y'all are some smart bitch witches. I see what you did there._

He opens the briefcase. Much to his delight, he finds elk's blood, yeti's milk, salamander eyeballs, and even a silver flask; in other words, everything they need to cure Pig Face. Manny grabs the lot of it and goes back to Matt and Mortimer just as the invisibility spell wears off.

"Did you get the ingredients?" Matt asks.

Manny nods. "Yeah. I got them. Let's get out of here."

The three of them run all the way back into Fat Man Slims, where they are greeted by a deserted pub. "Where _is_ everyone?" questions Mortimer.

As if in answer, Pig Face emerges from the stripper room.

"Oh, hey!" says Matt.

Manny beams. It's nice to see Pig Man again, mainly because he's one of the few Everlockians who doesn't want to kill everything in sight. "Hey, you!"

"Hey, buddy!" Matt does a silly gesture that looks like a failed dab mixed with finger guns. "We got your supplies!"

"Can you mix it up, guys?" requests Pig Man.

It takes five minutes for Matt and Manny to mix the ingredients together, cast the Swine Undone spell, and finish the potion. At last, it's done. Matt hands the glowing flask to Pig Face. "Here you go."

"Please work," says Manny, who wants to break all their curses as fast as possible so that he, Matt, Mortimer, and Pig Face can kick back their heels and wait for the others to return.

Matt smiles nervously. "Go for it."

"Please work." Manny watches Pig Face with bated breath. "Please work. Please work. Please work."

"I hope you guys did this right," is the last thing Pig Face says before downing the whole flask in one gulp.

"I've cured snakes' venom tonight," says Matt matter-of-factly, in case they've all forgotten about _that_ display of impressiveness. "How's it taste?"

Pig Face coughs. Then, suddenly, he starts going into a full-on convulsion, complete with pig-like squeals for air, flailing, and golden sparks.

"Omigod!" Manny's hand goes straight to his mouth. "Are you okay?' _Girl, get some water!_

 

At first, Matt's scared that Pig Face's spasms mean that they did something wrong. But, fortunately, his fears are soon revealed to be unfounded, and Pig Face's pig snout shrivels off his face.

"Hey!" cheers Matt.

"Omigod!" shouts Manny. "You're okay!"

Pig Face is Pig Face no more. He's now a perfectly ordinary man with a perfectly ordinary face. "I can't believe you guys pulled it off." After he takes a minute to appreciate his human features, he slams his old pig snout against the table.

It's Manny who puts two and two together. "Omigod," he gasps. "The nose!"

"I owe you one," says the man they just saved.

Manny takes the pig snout. "I'm disgusted."

"Stay away from witches, all right, my man?" As Matt bids farewell to No-Longer-A-Pig Man with a quick high-five, he feels prouder than he's felt all night. "Stay away from witches." _We did it. We helped someone. Maybe there's good in Everlock after all._

"That was a little violent, honestly," remarks Manny after the man's departure.

Matt casually brushes off their brush with magic. "Eh."

 

Rosanna runs along with the others towards Fat Man Slims. _Is Matt okay?_ she frets. _I mean, he's_ probably _okay, but you can never be too sure around here._ She turns her thoughts to a more pleasant topic. _We brought Maria's brother back! I can't wait to tell her! She's gonna be_ so _happy!_

But as the group passes the arcade, they're confronted by a truly awful sight.

The three witches have captured poor Maria, and to make matters worse, they're dragging her into the road at knifepoint. _Oh, no!_ Rosanna and her friends duck behind a building before the witches can spot them. _Don't hurt her! Please, whatever you do, don't hurt our friend!_

"I don't know _who_ you are," proclaims the witch who's holding on to Maria, "or _what_ you think you're doing here, but if you don't show yourselves..." She raises her knife over a sobbing Maria. "I'll slit this bitch's throat _right_ now!"

"What do we do?" Rosanna whimpers, dread enveloping her breaking heart. "We _can't_ let them kill her! Not after we just saved her brother!"

Joey pauses for a moment, then whirls around to face her. "Ro," he mutters urgently, "now's your chance. You're the Jet Setter. You're _great_ with people. If _anyone's_ gonna convince the witches to let Maria go, it's you."

Rosanna's rather taken aback by Joey's faith in her social skills. "Me? Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

"You got it, Ro," encourages Nikita.

"Okay." Rosanna takes a few deep breaths to psych herself up. "Okay." _I can do this. I can talk to the witches. Who knows? Maybe they're just as scared of us as we are of them. Maybe all they need is a little love._

Joey smiles at her. His smile is the portrait of pure, perfect trust. "Go save her life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Rosanna has a friendly conversation with some friendly witches and absolutely nothing goes wrong, shut up.


	44. How to Negotiate With Witches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, no! Maria's been captured! However shall we save her? Why, with a smile and the power of love, of course! That's how it works, right?

Rosanna Pansino is the Jet Setter. She goes to a lot of events. She does a lot of socializing. She can make lifelong friends in ten minutes or less. Therefore, she's the _perfect_ choice to talk some sense into these witches. Right?

"Seems like they don't care very much about you," sneers the witch who seems to be in charge, pushing her knife closer to Maria's throat. "That's what happens when you get old."

That cruel remark is all it takes for Rosanna to emerge from behind the building, armed with her best Jet Setter smile. "Hey, ladies!" she chirps at the surprised witches. "Good evening! You guys are looking great. Curses all over the town..." There's a skip in her step. "I love your outfits and horns. Everything's looking really great. I just need to borrow _her."_ She gestures to Maria. "I know you guys are so busy, so I don't wanna, like, waste your time—"

The head witch points her knife at Rosanna. "Would you like to trade places with her?"

"Maybe later." Rosanna keeps up her shield of likability, but secretly, she's shaking in her brown platform Oxfords. _The witches are_ not _feeling my vibe,_ she gulps. _They are_ not _friendly witches!_

"You don't belong in this town," declares the head witch, placing the knife against Maria's neck while glaring daggers at Rosanna.

"Who are _you_ telling?" Rosanna _knows_ that she doesn't belong in Everlock. She belongs at home, with her family, her dog, and her baked goods. But Joey needs help, and so do the people of Everlock, so here she is. "I know! I agree! I agree!"

The witch glowers down at her. "And you'd _better_ leave."

"I will! I'm just gonna take her with me—"

Suddenly, the witch whips her knife back towards Rosanna, dropping poor Maria in the process. "Before I tear you open _crotch_ to _throat,"_ she snarls, advancing on the tiny brunette.

Rosanna backs away from the blade. "Okay. Okay." _Calm down, ladies! I don't even know your names! You should wear name tags, cause I don't know which witch is which!_ "Please don't do that."

"That's enough!" The witch grabs her wand, and her two fellow witches follow suit. All three of them head straight for Rosanna.

 _Oh, no. Oh, dear._ Rosanna's only comfort is that the witches seem to have forgotten about Maria, who's trying to crawl away. _At least_ she's _all right._ "I just need to take her—"

The witches attack. Rosanna's hit in the torso with several curses. Although they're not painful, they _do_ make her feel a little funny in the head. "Maria?" She grabs ahold of Maria and slinks away from the trio of angry witches. "Okay, come on. Come on."

 _That could've gone better,_ she thinks as she helps Maria into Fat Man Slims. _But I saved Maria, and that's all that matters._

 

Matt's glad to see Rosanna again, but he wasn't expecting her and Maria to return without Joey, Nikita, or Calliope. "Hey, Ro!"

"Omigosh!" gasps Manny. "Ro!"

"Hey," murmurs Rosanna.

"Hey!" It's then that Matt notices Rosanna's heavy breathing, the glazed look in her brown eyes, and the way her shoulders sag as she walks. This isn't like her. "Are you okay?" _Please be okay, Ro! Please don't be hurt!_

Rosanna waves a hand at Maria. "Saved her from a bunch of wishes." She's slurring her words. "I think I got cursed. I'm not exactly sure what happened. I just annoyed them really good."

"Wait." Matt puts a hand on her shoulder as the pit of dread in his stomach deepens. "You got _cursed?"_ It's inconceivable. It's absolutely inconceivable. Matt's curse is one thing, and Manny's is another, but the thought of Rosanna Pansino under a witch's curse (which is, no doubt, the reason why she's acting so strangely) is too much for Matt's heart to endure. He wants to storm outside, find the witches, and chew them out for _daring_ to lay a wand on his best friend.

He opens his mouth, but the words _it's okay, Ro, we're gonna fix this, you're gonna be okay_ are stifled by the sudden arrival of Joey, Nikita, and Calliope. "Guys!" shouts Joey.

"Omigosh." Matt sees something in Joey's hand. "What did you get?"

"What do you have?" asks Manny.

Joey shows the group a wedding ring. "We got the ring. You guys got the nose?"

"We did," says Matt.

"We have the nose," Manny confirms, pointing to the bloody pig snout. "It's already down."

They have the snout. They have the ring. Now, all they need is the Amulet of Youth, but Matt doesn't want to focus on that right now. He'd _much_ prefer to find a way to undo their _own_ curses before it's too late.

 

Well, they're all together again, but at _least_ three of them are cursed. Possibly more. Manny can't help but worry about whenever or not Nikita and Joey are okay.

"We resurrected your fine-ass brother, by the way," says Nikita to Maria.

The phrase "fine-ass" piques Manny's interest. "How fine are we talking, though?"

 _"Very,"_ Nikita assures him.

Rosanna smiles dreamily. _"Really_ cute!"

Manny thinks what he always thinks whenever he meets (or hears about) a hot guy, which is, of course, _please let him be gay, single, and into guys who wear makeup!_ Then, he remembers the whole "wedding ring of a dead man" shit, and he sighs. _Why does this keep happening to me?_

Maria, bless her heart, cries with joy. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome." Joey checks the parchment. He frowns. "Wait. This is new."

_Those of you who have been cursed must now pay the price. To reverse the third curse, you must recover the Amulet of Youth by passing through the witches' tangled skein. The last one to complete it will pay with their life._

It takes a moment for Manny to realize what this means, but when he does, his heart drops into his stomach.

 

Fear floats through Rosanna's little body like a hot-air balloon without a destination. _So_ that's _what all those curses were about,_ she thinks. _The witches basically gave me a ticket to the death challenge._ She hasn't been at risk since Teala's death, but even so, she's not a stranger to the anxiety that's currently creeping like cold water down her spine.

"Wait, who was cursed?" asks Nikita.

Manny sighs and raises his hand. "Me. I was."

"I was," says Joey, raising his hand alongside Manny's.

Rosanna raises her hand as well. Her stomach does a flip-flop in her chest.

"There's three people," says Nikita.

But then, much to Rosanna's horror, her beloved unofficial brother raises his hand and nods sorrowfully. _Matt?_ Rosanna wants to scream. _Matt, what happened? How did_ you _get cursed? Is there anything I can do?_

(There isn't.)

"You too?" gasps Joey.

"Me too," mutters Matt.

Even Nikita looks taken aback by Matt's admission. "What?"

Joey turns to face the blonde. "You're the only one who wasn't cursed," he says in an exhausted wisp of voice.

Nikita's reaction is pure shock.

"So we're all competing against one another?" panics Manny.

Joey has a far more morbid, but no less true, take on what's about to happen. "So one of us is gonna have to pay the price to cure the amulet."

"And cleanse the Wicker Man," adds Matt.

A groan escapes Manny's mouth, along with a disgruntled "shit," as he twists his lips into a droopy frown.

Rosanna stares at the floor. She's not sure about this particular death challenge. For one thing, there's never been a four-person death challenge before, so _that'll_ be a new experience for everyone. Also, the _last_ death challenge—the one that killed Safiya—was just a trick. The group never knows what to expect from Everlock.

 _I wish those witches_ were _friendly witches,_ Rosanna's soul sobs. _I wish there was another way to save Everlock. I wish the constant death would stop. I wish we could be happy._

If wishes were horses, she'd have enough for everyone she loves, and they'd all be free to ride out of this awful place.

 

Thank _God_ Nikita didn't get cursed...but also, _goddammit,_ Manny's on death row again, and so are all of the other idiots in her group. All because of a bunch of witch bitches and their dumbass spells. _Screw_ this town.

Joey pats her on the shoulder. "You stay here, okay, Troublemaker? Hold down the fort until we come back."

"Until _most_ of you come back," clarifies Nikita.

"Yeah." His face collapses into regret. "Until then."

She says farewell to Matt next. The Detective shakes her hand, and the two of them come to a silent understanding. "Take care," he says briskly.

"You too," she replies.

After that, Rosanna opens her arms for a hug, and Nikita obliges. "Bye," mumbles Rosanna. "Love you."

Nikita chokes on _love you too_ and instead settles for "You're all right, short stuff." The tenderness in Rosanna's expression indicates that the smaller girl knows how to read between the lines. Nikita's grateful for it.

Finally, it's time to say goodbye to the one person she can't lose. "Manny," she hisses into her best friend's ear as she squeezes him in a tight embrace, "you _better_ come back. If you die out there, I'm gonna kill you. Got it?"

"Got it," he responds quietly. “See ya later."

"That's what I like to hear."

Manny, Matt, Joey, Rosanna, Calliope, and Mortimer file out of Fat Man Slims like a group of convicted prisoners headed for the firing squad, leaving Nikita with only Maria for company. The Troublemaker immediately begins to pace back and forth around the pub, her palms sweaty, her heart racing with secondhand terror. _Who's gonna die_ this _time?_ she ponders. _Which of them will I never see again?_

She isn't sure that she's okay with _any_ of the possible answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Everyone except Nikita (four for you, Nikita, you go, Nikita) risks their lives in _another_ multi-part challenge. The author wonders why she started novelizing these things in the first place.


	45. Innocence Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Manny, Matt, Joey, and Rosanna compete in the witches' gauntlet. Three will live. One must die. Prepare your tissues, guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the record show that I don't want to do this. I am incredibly sorry for what I am about to make you read with your own two eyes. I hate everything.

It's almost three in the morning when the cursed YouTubers arrive at the witches' lair, but judging by the darkness that surrounds them, it might as well be midnight. Joey walks with his hands in his pockets in a vain effort to keep himself warm. _I'm in danger,_ he realizes. _This could be where I die. This could be where my mission to save Everlock falls apart forever._

And yet, it's not _himself_ that he's worried about, but the three friends who accompany him to hell.

Matthew "MatPat" Patrick. The smartest. The one who crawled back from the grave. If _he_ dies here, what was the point of Joey's second chance?

Manny Mua. The strongest. The one who survived by a twist of fate. If _he_ dies here, what was the point of Safiya's unfair death?

Rosanna Pansino. The purest. The one who hasn't touched the dark. If _she_ dies here, what was the point of looking for the light?

No matter who dies, something will be rendered meaningless. That, more than anything, is what freezes Joey's blood as he and the others approach the challenge. _It's all my fault._ He struggles not to cry. _If I hadn't invited them here, none of them would be in this situation. Why couldn't I have just stayed dead?_ Not even his promise to make things right seems worth the terrible price he has to pay.

"Good luck, guys," says Matt.

"Good luck, everyone," echoes Manny.

 _I'm sorry,_ Joey almost wails, but the apology dies on the tip of his tongue.

 

As someone who's already died once, Matt is _not_ ready to go back. Nor is he ready to lose Rosanna. Fortunately, this is a four-person challenge, so there's still a chance that both he and his best friend will come out of this alive.

They find the instructions. "What's this?" Rosanna asks quietly.

"What's this?" repeats Matt.

Manny reads the note to the others.

_The last one through the four challenges will be sacrificed by the witches. The first is the witch's brew, the second is the witch's hat, the third is the bobbing for rotten apples, and the last is maneuvering through their tangled skein without ringing a bell._

Matt thinks of Stephanie, Ollie, Skip, and everyone who waits for him in 2018. He also thinks of Molly, Mike, Cookie, and those who wait for Rosanna. _We can do this._ He takes a deep breath. _We will survive. We_ must _survive._

For a split second, the memory of his death flashes across his mind, but he suppresses it underneath a blanket of happier moments.

 

Manny's lucky lip gloss is still in his pocket, although it _is_ a bit dusty by now, and he hopes that it'll be enough to protect him from death. After all, it seems to be doing a pretty good job so far. _What could be in this witch's brew?_ he thinks with a shrug, examining the circle of mugs in front of him. _It's not gonna be_ that _bad._

"Once you find a pentagram at the bottom of one of your cups," says Calliope, "you will be free to move on to the second challenge." She waves a hand at them. "Begin!"

The four competitors each grab a cup and drink from it. As soon as the brew passes Manny's lips, he's blown away by how _nasty_ the stuff is. It's worse than the lollipops. It _literally_ tastes like a rat's ass.

"Oh, God," groans Joey, "this is so..." He can't even finish his sentence.

Manny finishes his first (pentagramless) cup, sets it down, and grabs another one. "Holy shit!" He burps. "Omigod." His stomach is in open revolt against him, and honestly, who can blame it? _Everlock's trying to poison me!_

 

Rosanna gags. She's grossed out by the reaction of the brew in her mouth. There's so much bubbly. She's not used to that. If she ever makes a recipe for witch's brew, she's going to tell her viewers to lay off the bubbly.

"Oh..." Manny sounds like he's about to say his usual "omigod," but it goes unfinished.

Joey raises his mug, which has a pentagram. "I got one," he announces between belches.

 _Yay, Joey!_ Rosanna knows that it's strange to be happy for her rivals, but they're still her friends, and she's proud of them for downing this disgusting brew. _We can do it, everyone! I believe in us!_

Manny hides another burp behind his hand, then holds his nose. Matt drinks noiselessly. Joey advances to the second challenge. As for Rosanna, she droops into a light green ball, struggling not to throw up the brew she just drank. She _should_ keep drinking, but right now, she can't. She just can't. It's better for her to take a moment to recover before she shoves more bubbly down her throat.

Soon enough, Matt has _also_ found his pentagram _(oh, thank God),_ and he joins Joey at the witch's hat. Only Manny and Rosanna are left at the first challenge.

"Omigod. Omigod." Manny doubles over and pukes into the spot where Matt was just standing a minute ago.

Seeing her friend throw up pushes Rosanna's stomach over the edge, and she vomits along with him. The weirdest noises come out of her body. She soaks the grass beneath her with the worst drink in the world.

"Oh, please," whimpers Manny. "Please stop."

 _I'm trying!_ Rosanna's barfing in her hair, on her clothes, and on the ground. The brew is coming out of her nose. To make matters worse, she's _so_ tired all of a sudden. _Come on, Ro!_ she snaps at herself. _Pull yourself together! You're a fighter, aren't you? Come on! Fight!_

 

When it comes to the disc challenge (aka the witch's hat), Matt is a pro. He's done this for _years._ It takes him less than twenty seconds to stack his discs properly, and then, it's off to stage three.

"Matt." Joey's still stacking his discs, and his voice trembles. "I don't understand."

"You got it, Joey!" shouts Matt. His exhaustion, which was bad enough before the challenge began, is getting worse with every step he takes. He's beginning to suspect that it's because of his curse. The witches _would_ want to make sure that their victim is too tired to fight back.

"It's in my eye!" screams Rosanna, who's still trying to drink her brew. "It is in my eye!"

Matt quickly takes off his glasses, sticks his head into one of the buckets, and bobs an apple. He emerges in a shower of water. Although his face and hair are drenched, the fire within him burns brighter than ever. "I'm not dying again!" With that, he puts his glasses back on, breathes a visible breath, and charges into the fourth and final challenge.

 

Somehow, by the grace of God, Joey finishes the disc challenge just as Manny begins it. "Okay," he murmurs as he moves on.

Matt gets halfway through the tangled skein before he rings a bell and has to start over.

"Omigosh." Rosanna's _still_ dealing with the witch's brew. "I cannot keep _anything_ down."

Manny, who's currently stacking discs, giggles morosely.

 _Why am I so tired?_ Joey wonders as he fishes an apple out of the water. _I was fine before I started. Is it the brew? Is it the curse? Or am I just sick of this madness?_

 

"I'm...not... _dying_ again!"

Matt crawls through the skein, pulls himself to his feet, and, at last, makes it to the witch's altar. _I'm safe._ His exhaustion dissipates. _My curse is broken. I'm gonna be okay._

But then, he sees Rosanna, still on stage one, still looking for the right mug, still puking her guts out.

_Ro..._

He feels awful.

 

Manny's done with the discs, so it's on to the apples for him, but fatigue is starting to overcome his body. "I have _makeup_ on!" he whines, slurring his words into a hodgepodge of mush. _Is there any way I can part the water and just bite down? I_ really _don't wanna mess up this face. I mean, this makeup._ He can't think straight. Not that he was able to think straight to begin with.

"Come on, Manny!" yells Joey, who's maneuvering underneath the skein. "You got this! Don't worry about your makeup!" He rings a bell. "Aw!"

Honestly, Manny wouldn't mind curling up into a nap. The only thing that keeps him on his feet is the reminder that his best friend, Nikita, is waiting back at Fat Man Slims. _I gotta live!_ He sinks his teeth into an apple. _I promised her I'd live!_

 

Rosanna's fighting for her life, but it's not looking too good. She's getting more and more nervous, her friends are moving farther and farther ahead, and she's _still_ drinking. "I'm gonna just barf." _I don't think I can do this anymore._

"Okay, Ro," calls Matt from the altar as Joey stumbles into a respectable second place. "Baby sips. You can get through it. I got through the hot dogs. You can do it, Ro."

But Rosanna's too tired, and her stomach hurts too much, and Manny has too big of a head start for her to catch up now. _I'm sorry, guys._ She takes a baby sip from her mug, only to puke it right back up again.

"Omigod," pants Joey.

"Don't..." Matt looks and sounds like he's about to burst into tears. "Don't think about it. Don't think about it."

Joey's tone breaks. "Ro...oh, God..."

"It's okay," says Matt, although he doesn't appear to agree with his own statement.

"Ro," Joey cries.

Seeing her boys like this hurts Rosanna more than the threat of death ever could. She wants to run to them, hug them, and tell them that it'll be all right, but that'll only make things worse for them, and she knows it.

"Baby sips," chants Matt frantically.

Manny crosses the finish line, sealing Rosanna's fate. "Manny," is all that Joey can bring himself to say.

 _I'm gonna die._ The last of Rosanna's strength slips through her fingers. A small smile graces her face. _But Matt won't. He'll live. So will Joey, Manny, and Nikita. Maria will get her youth and her brother back. All the curses will be broken. My friends will set Everlock free._

In the end, the good outweighs the bad.

 

Matt's soul is slowly ripping itself apart with a dull, rusty, ice-cold fork. _Ro lost._ The realization reverberates on a blown-out speaker of sorrow in his head. _Ro, my soul sister, my platonic other half, is about to be killed by the witches, and I can't save her._ He'd almost rather die than let her go.

"Ro," he tells her, slapping on a smile for her sake, "you've been the best friend I could ask for." _Please, Ro. Don't die. I need you. Don't leave me._

She chuckles. "I love you."

"I love you too, Ro." He mentally bargains with God for a last-minute plot twist that will spare Rosanna, but his prayers, as usual, go unanswered. All he can do is accept this cruel ending with tears in his eyes. "I'll miss you."

 

 _I'll miss you too, Matt,_ thinks Rosanna as she slumps against the table. _You gotta carry on, okay? Save Everlock. Survive. For both of us._

"I love you, Ro," says Manny.

A nearby glass case swings open, allowing Matt and Manny to retrieve the amulet that they need. Rosanna's too tired to speak, so she mumbles incoherently, allowing optimism to take root like a tree in her heart. _Matt spoke of a church,_ she recalls. _He said he saw a blonde woman and an Asian man. They're probably still there._ The witches grab her. _When I get there, I'll give them a curtsy and my nicest smile, and I'll say "Hello! Bonjour! I'm Rosanna, but my friends call me Ro. You must be the people Matt talked about. It's nice to meet you!"_

"There's nothing we can do!" Joey exclaims. "We have to go!"

Manny's shaking. "Omigod...Ro..."

Calliope hustles the rest of the group out of the area. "There's nothing we can do," she insists.

Rosanna's scared. Of _course_ she's scared. Who in her position _wouldn't_ be scared? But little things comfort her, like the way the moonlight shines upon the grass, the soft warmth of her fluffy green coat, and Matt's voice. "Be brave, Ro!" he sobs, so for him, she does her best to summon every tablespoon of bravery that lurks within her small frame.

"Come on," grunts a witch, marching Rosanna towards the altar. "Get up here."

Matt's still crying on his way out of sight. "It's okay!"

_Yes, exactly. It's okay. It'll all be okay. I'll be brave, and when it's over, I'll be with Safiya, and you won't have to worry about me anymore._

Whenever Rosanna is _really_ scared, she likes to sing a song in her head to make herself feel better about things. So that's what she does now. _Cause you and me, we make each other better,_ her sleepy brain sings throughout each labored breath. _We may not be perfect, but we're perfect together._

The witches place her on the altar. It's just her size. She lies down on the comfy white cloth, and she knocks over one of the candles.

_You and me, we'll make it through whatever. We may not be perfect, but we're perfect together._

Three knives hover above her.

_Da-da-da. Da-da-da-da, da-da-da._

She closes her eyes, and it's like she's at home, baking cookies with Matt, while Cookie the dog scurries around their feet as if the sound of her name on their lips excites her. Matt tells a corny joke about a video game. Rosanna shows him how to decorate their cookies. They sing. They dance. They laugh. They learn. They love.

_Da-da-da-da, da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da..._

The knives come down. She screams, but not for long.

 

Matt can hear Rosanna Pansino's final cry all the way from the porch of Fat Man Slims. When it fades, he's alone, and the overwhelming _finality_ of it all threatens to incinerate him into a large pile of inconsolable ashes. _She's gone._ Tears mist his face like condensation. _What am I supposed to do without her?_

Losing Safiya was bad enough. His friendship with _her_ was like a tiny bud that never got the chance to bloom into a flower. But his friendship with Rosanna was like a rose garden, cultivated by years of trust, kindness, and respect, only to be ripped into ribbons by a group of monsters with bloody blades. Also, when Safiya died, Rosanna was there to help Matt through the pain. Now, Rosanna's joined Safiya, and Matt has no one at all.

 _At least she was at peace with it,_ he reassures his shattered heart. _At least she went out with a smile._ But that doesn't fix anything. Smiles won't change the fact that the witches stole an innocent girl from a world that's desperate for the light she once provided.

 _"I love you,"_ she said.

Only her love remains.

They step into Fat Man Slims. All Matt can think about are Rosanna's arms around his waist, and Rosanna sprinkling sprinkles onto her sweet treats, and Rosanna performing an impromptu Broadway musical number with him, and Rosanna on the Ferris wheel, and _Rosanna..._

Nikita stops pacing around the pub and whirls around them to face them. "You guys?" She scans their faces one by one. Although relief flickers across her expression, it's soon replaced by a flummoxed sort of grief, as if she's unwillingly learning how to miss the dead.

"Nikita," sighs Joey.

"Oh..." The Troublemaker's who-gives-a-damn defense falls away, if only for a moment. "Where's Ro?"

Then, Matt sees Maria, and her face helps him remember the bright side that he previously overlooked. "Ro's memory will live on through her." As heartbreaking as it is for him to see his best friend reach such a brutal end, it _is_ good that Rosanna's death will save Maria from her curse. It's what the little Jet Setter would've wanted.

Manny displays their prize. "We have the amulet!"

Maria laughs and cries with delight.

As Joey, Matt, and Nikita look on, Manny holds the amulet against Maria's forehead. She gasps, sparkles, and changes from an old woman into a beautiful young girl. "Omigod!" is Manny's reaction. "You're a babe!"

"I have my life back!" rejoices Maria. "Thank you, everyone!" She, Manny, Matt, Joey, and Nikita engage in an adorable group hug. Matt's positive that he can feel Rosanna's presence in their midst.

A noise gets them all to look outside. There's Maria's brother, back from the dead, beaming with joy at the sight of his little sister.

Maria shrieks _"Sam!"_ and runs into her brother's open arms.

"Your brother!" whoops Nikita.

"Omigod!" Joey squees. "They're reunited!"

"I thought I would never see you again!" Maria bawls into Sam's shoulder. He, too, is crying as he holds her close to his chest. Something about them reminds Matt of the way he and Rosanna used to be.

 _This is why we're here,_ the grieving Detective realizes while watching Maria and Sam together. _We came to help the town. Ro remembered our mission, even when the rest of us forgot. She accepted her fate so that Maria and Sam could have their happy ending._ A lump forms in his throat. His index finger traces around the edges of the badge on his hip. _They're reunited because we were torn apart._

He'll miss his unofficial sister until eternity ends, but he's _slightly_ consoled by the knowledge that she didn't die in vain. Indeed, as long as love continues to exist in the world, the light of Rosanna's legacy will _never_ disappear.

 

"Omigod!" exclaims Joey. "That was so sweet!"

Nikita hugs him. "You guys," she says, "we finally helped someone!"

"We're _really_ saving this town," Joey proclaims, his heart stuffed to the brim with positive feelings. _Maybe there's more to Everlock than suffering and death. Maybe there really_ is _a chance for me to make things right._

"A happy ending!" cheers Nikita.

Manny grins. "You guys, we _did_ that!"

"Well," grumbles Matt, "except for Ro's death."

"Other than that," admits Manny sheepishly.

"Yeah." Matt's fragile smile crumples into despair. "Ro's dead."

Joey blames himself. _He_ was the one who told Rosanna to go talk to the witches. Because of that, she was cursed, and because of that, she ended up in the death challenge that killed her. If he had just kept his mouth _shut_ for once in his life, Rosanna Pansino might still be alive.

But now's not the time for him to dwell on his ten billionth mistake. Sunrise is coming. Time is running out.

 

Manny can already tell that things are going to be different without Rosanna's sweet self hanging around. He doesn't _want_ to miss her, but he _does,_ and it _sucks,_ because she didn't deserve to be sliced to ribbons by a bunch of stupid bitch witches. _Oh, well._ The amulet flickers in his open palm. _Time to cleanse the Wicker Man, I guess._

"Just cleanse it!" orders Nikita.

So Manny takes a deep breath, shoos Rosanna out of his brain, and puts the amulet with the pig snout and Sam's wedding ring. All four of the remaining YouTubers jump away from the mini ritual. The Wicker Man is cleansed in a whirlwind of gold.

Joey's face looks like it can't decide what emotion it's going for. "Let's get out of here."

"Okay," says Manny, and off they trot.

During the walk back to the lounge, Manny sniffles, but it's probably because he's coming down with a cold or something. _You know what? We're magical!_ He fills his head with thoughts of all the fun they were having before the whole adventure went to shit.

Soon, they're all in the lounge again. Calliope, who's visibly holding back tears, feeds Rosanna's Jet Setter card to the ticket box. At the same time, Joey places the Wicker Man with the rest of the artifacts. "Guys." He beams at his remaining friends. "We only have one artifact left. We're gonna get out of Everlock."

 _We're gonna get out._ Manny feels a tiny smile come to life on his face. _We're gonna go home. I'm gonna see my family and friends again. Everything's gonna be fine._ For a millisecond, he lets himself believe that it's all uphill from here.

Matt promptly brings them all back down to earth. "Well," he says bitterly, "three of us are."

Manny's first thought is _dammit, Matt, you just_ had _to ruin the moment,_ but this is followed by the crippling conclusion that _he's right._ There's one more artifact left to cleanse, which means that one more person has to die.

_I don't want to die. But I don’t want Nikita to die, either. Or Matt. Or Joey. Oh, God, why did I ever leave 2018?_

The town grows cold around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Rosanna. You were an angel, and angels belong in heaven. Matt loves you. _Everyone_ loves you.  
>  Next chapter: Pure insanity. Also, Nikita gets a new accessory, and Manny tries his hand at dog whispering.


	46. Please Stop, You're Scaring Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosanna's gone, and the four surviving YouTubers have one last artifact to cleanse. Who among them will become the dreaded Episode 9 Heartbreaker? And who, exactly, is the final guardian that they must face?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains sexual content, including minor sexual assault. Proceed with caution!

It's two hours till sunrise. Manny sits on a light green chair that nicely contrasts his dark green clothes, surrounded by his three remaining friends, and his head hurts with the knowledge that one of them won't make it out of here.

_This sucks._

To be honest, he's had a pretty rough time of it lately. First, he got voted into (and _won!)_ the Strong Man challenge. Then, he and Nikita were sent to the Funhouse, and he came _so close_ to meeting the business end of Willy's fishhook before Safiya's death _literally_ saved his ass. After that, he got cursed by a _box,_ which earned him a spot in the witches' challenge, and _again,_ he only _just_ survived that shit. At this point, it's quite obvious that someone or something wants to see his pretty little head on a stick.

 _Well, that's not gonna happen,_ he promises himself, casually squeezing the lucky tube of lip gloss in his pocket. _How did that one vine go again? I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me? Yeah. That. I've come this far. I'm_ not _giving up now._

But who _should_ die?

Not Nikita. He _can't_ lose her. Besides, she's one of the most valuable players they've got, so there's really no reason for her to be in danger at all. And it shouldn't be Joey, either, since it's _his_ mission. That leaves Matt. Technically, the Detective's supposed to be dead, so if _he_ dies, it wouldn't be like if Manny or Nikita die. It would be more like some Back to the Future crap where the timeline gets fixed, or something like that.

More importantly, Manny's already _grieved_ for Matt. Maybe it won't hurt as much the second time around.

Joey breaks the silence. "Okay, guys. We have one more artifact to go. We got this."

"Yeah, _one_ of us still has to die," grumbles Matt.

"It probably should be you," is Nikita's opinion. "You _did_ die already once. You know what it's like."

 _It's like she and I are on the same wavelength._ "We brought you back cause, like, we _needed_ you, you know?" Manny rests his hand against his cheek, hoping that his casual voice and expression are enough to convince his heart that he doesn't give a damn about what happens to Matt.

"And you don't need me _now?"_ Matt cries. "Why am I suddenly expendable again?"

"No, no, no, no, don't worry, you're not expendable," Joey reassures him.

"Listen, listen, _listen!"_ Manny doesn't think they understand. He _cannot_ go back into another death challenge. He's done more of them than anyone else. He deserves a chance to _not_ almost die for once. "I've been in three times, and I _swear,_ if I go in a fourth, someone's after me!"

"I honestly think that's just how the cards fell," snaps Joey, "but you know what? You can think you're more important than the rest of us! But sure!"

 _That's not..._ Manny's too emotionally exhausted to argue with him, so instead, he smirks and wiggles his hand in a devil-may-care motion. _I just want this to be over, okay? I just want to go home._

 

Matt feels like he's been punched in the gut. Is Manny telling the truth? Did the group _really_ only bring Matt back because they "needed" him? Is that all he is to these people? A brain? A _computer_ program? Something to be used for puzzle-solving and then deleted due to the lack of storage space on the hard drive that is Everlock?

 _I should've known._ He shakes his head as leftover tears sting his eyes. _They don't care about me, just like they didn't care about Safiya. Rosanna was the only one left who loved me, and now that she's gone, I'm open to attack._

"Say what you will, Manny," he says, “but I think we _all_ deserve to be here." A nervous laugh shakes his lungs. "Right?"

"Yeah," agrees Joey, who's being more supportive than usual for reasons that are, quite frankly, a mystery.

Matt examines the current group. The fact that Rosanna isn't here with them adds another crack to his broken heart, but he somehow stops himself from lingering on her memory. "But we are _kind_ of a hot mess." He points at himself. "I've died before." He points at Manny. "You've lost a few challenges." He points at Joey. "You're _still_ dead." Finally, he points at Nikita, and he adds a hint of pride to his tone. "Nikita, though... _you've_ kicked ass. Like, well done across the board."

"Thank you," says Nikita cautiously.

"Props to you." Even though Matt and Nikita have their differences, he _will_ admit that she's played an _excellent_ game.

Joey is clearly done with this conversation. "Let's take a look at the map."

"Okay," Manny agrees.

 _Well,_ sighs Matt as he and the others get up to check the map, _might as well use my brain again, since it's apparently all I'm good for around here._

The map appears to have received a total red-pen overhaul. Joey raises an eyebrow at the sight. "Oh, wow."

"There's a _lot_ happening here, you guys," remarks Nikita.

"There's so much going on. Let's grab it." Manny pulls the map off the wall. "Let's grab it."

Nikita gestures to a small table. "Let's set it here."

"Come on," says Manny. "Let's do it." He lays the map flat against the table. "New map, new trouble."

_Strange you'd ever forget the night._

Forget the night? Forget _tonight?_ After everything that's happened? After everyone they've lost, including Rosanna and Safiya? After Matt _literally_ died and came back to life? He shakes his head vigorously. _Not a chance._

 

"Wait." Joey disregards the message at the center of the map in favor of inspecting some other new additions. "Look at all these symbols."

Matt squints at a stick man symbol next to the bridge. "That looks like the Wicker Man."

"Wait, that looks like the snake!" blurts out Nikita, pointing to a snake symbol outside the arcade.

Upon closer examination, it turns out that every new red symbol on the map corresponds to one of the artifacts they've cleansed. "Those are the artifacts!" Joey shouts.

"They are!" confirms Manny.

"Those are the artifacts," Nikita repeats.

Matt says "that's the jack-in-the-box" in a brisk, just-the-facts-ma'am tone of voice. Looking at him, Joey feels a pang of worry in his chest. _I hope he didn't believe what Manny and Nikita said to him,_ the Savant frets. _He's_ not _expendable. He's the smartest one here. We still need him._ He remembers the joy of Matt's triumphant resurrection. _Besides, he's my second chance. If he dies, the one good thing I ever did dies with him._

Joey's determined _not_ to let that happen.

"The church." His eyes land on the map's newest location, which looks _identical_ to the church he saw in the World Between Worlds. "The church is new."

_Twelve. Three. Six. Nine. And then it all starts again._

"Those are all parts of a clock," reasons Matt. "Like, if you think about a clock..." As he explains his point, he moves his arms in a clock-like rotation. "Twelve is the main hour, three, six, nine, it's the...wait, wait, wait! Hold on! Look!" He bolts over to a nearby clock.

"It's every third?" Manny suggests.

Joey frowns. "You think it's the clock?"

"There's something weird with the clock," says Matt, and he's right. There are several odd pieces of paper attached to the clock. _Huh,_ thinks Joey. _I'm pretty sure that those weren't there before._

They pull the pieces off the clock, and on each piece, they find a combination of a) a symbols seen on the map, and b) a letter of the alphabet. Subsequently, they match up the symbols onto the map itself, and it changes the message at the center.

_Arrange your seven to get the eighth._

"Of course!" Joey runs to the shelf full of artifacts. "We have to rearrange these artifacts in the order they're on the map!" _God, I hope this works._

 

Yeah, Nikita slipped up when Rosanna died, but honestly, who wouldn't? It was _Rosanna,_ for heaven's sake! Anyway, she's _definitely_ back to normal now, and she knows that she _has_ to stay focused if she wants to get herself and Manny out of this shithole of a town.

They rearrange the artifacts. "Manny," instructs Nikita, "the triangle that you won is up on top."

"Okay," says Joey.

"Yup," sighs Matt. "The Strong Man." He winces at the reminder of his violent death. "And then the Statue of Era..."

"The furthest," says Nikita. "Right."

Matt nods. "Far right."

"Then the snake in that one," directs Nikita, pointing to the cabinet where the Snake Woman's artifact is supposed to go.

Joey answers "okay" and moves the Serpent's Eyes.

"And next is the Wicker Man," finishes Nikita, "in that one." The Wicker Man is the ugliest artifact out of all of them, in her opinion, and now that it's cleansed, she thinks that they should set it on fire outside the lounge. Maybe they can do that on their way home.

"This one?" Joey asks.

"Yeah."

Right after Joey places the Wicker Man, a compartment in the lounge's center table opens up, revealing a big, brown, lumpy, _hideous_ choker that's _undeniably_ made out of skin, eyeballs, and teeth. Everyone gasps. Matt's "what the heck" sums up the whole goddamn situation.

Nikita's flabbergasted and also somewhat offended. "There was an artifact in here this _whole_ time?" _Why didn't they tell us_ before _they sent us on that wild goose chase for artifacts? We could've cleansed this piece of shit first thing!_ She scowls. _Oh, and I change my mind._ This _is the ugliest artifact. It looks like what would happen if I killed someone, ate them, and then got diarrhea._

"Oh," groans Manny as Joey takes the collar out of the compartment, "that is _so_ creepy!" He draws out the word "creepy" for extra emphasis.

"Is this a choker?" Nikita asks.

Joey reads the note that comes with the choker.

_The Collar of Control must be worn by one of you to begin the cleansing process. Choose wisely, as the collar cannot be removed without help. You must reattach the four metal rings to fully purify the Collar._

Oh, okay. So one of them has to _wear_ this revolting thing.

"I would like to say," says Joey, "that I feel like, Nikita, you have maybe _some_ more experience with this type of stuff. I think it's time for you to just...go for it."

"Let's do it!" declares Nikita. "Let's do it." She wasn't the most helpful group member during the Wicker Man shenanigans, so she might as well show these bitches that she's still got what it takes to survive. Besides, even though the Collar looks disgusting, she thinks that she can make it a look. "What do I do? Just put it on?"

Matt speaks up. "Are we _sure_ we don't wanna put it on Manny?"

Manny shoots an excuse-you look at Matt. Matt responds with a just-saying expression. Nikita decides that boys are weird and says "Let's just put it on me at this point."

So Joey straps the Collar of Control around Nikita's neck, while Manny holds the blonde strands of her wig out of the way so as not to mess up her fabulousness. The scratchy tightness around her throat causes Nikita to gasp. "Is that too tight?" Joey immediately asks.

"Nope," replies Nikita dryly. "Not tight enough." She touches the Collar. Its skin feels almost like leather, but not quite.

Joey says "okay" and clicks the final latch on the Collar shut. Nikita groans involuntarily. The Collar glows orange for a hot second, but the glow soon fades away. "Oh!" exclaims Joey. "It doesn't look bad!"

"It actually compliments," says Matt.

Nikita turns to face her friends. "Does it look okay?" There's a faint fuzzy feeling in the back of her mind.

"Yeah," Manny smiles at her. "It's cute. It's like a turtleneck."

"Like a souvenir, right?" figures Nikita.

She gets a few "yeahs" in response.

Matt seems reluctantly impressed. "Works really well with your skin tone."

"Do you feel any different?" Joey questions.

"I mean," Nikita admits, "it really kinda makes me a little lightheaded." It's like there's something knocking against her brain, which sucks, because she does _not_ need to deal with another headache at the moment. Lord knows this place is stress-inducing enough without a Collar of Headaches to make it worse.

All of a sudden, the door to the lounge swings open, and in skips a cheerleader with red hair, heavy eyeliner, and a psychotic grin on her too-white face. She's accompanied by a... _thing._ Is it supposed to be a dog? If so, it's a _demon_ dog, and it can go straight back to hell for all Nikita cares.

Joey, Matt, and Manny scream, and then, all three of them scurry away to different corners of the lounge. Mortimer and Calliope stand protectively between the group and the monsters. Nikita, however, stays in place, transfixed by the crazy sight of the laughing cheerleader showing off her black panties to everyone in the room. _What the hell is going on?_ the Troublemaker wonders. _Are these..._

The Demon Dog roars.

"Nikita!" calls the cheerleader.

Before Nikita has the opportunity to ask how this bitch knows her name, she starts walking towards the newcomers. This _terrifies_ her. She's one hundred percent sure that she doesn't want to go anywhere _near_ these freaks. Why are her legs moving without her permission? "You guys?" _The frick? This isn't me! Something's_ very _wrong here!_

"Nikita..." Manny darts forward and tries to grab her hand, but her body forces her out of his reach. "Nikita, no, no, no, no..."

"You guys, I'm not joking this time!" Nikita screams. "I'm not joking this time!" Despite her best efforts, she can't stop herself. It's like...it's like...

Matt's eyes grow wide. "She's being controlled!"

 _The Collar of Control!_ Nikita curses herself for not considering the damn thing's _name_ before she tried it on. _Hello! Duh! I think this Collar has something to do with being controlled!_ There are clouds in her mind that weren't there before. _No! I'm_ not _your freakin' puppet! I'm Nikita Dragun!_ I _decide what happens to me! Get out of my head, you crazy bitch!_

The cheerleader feeds the Demon Dog some candy, then turns her attention to Nikita, who's now right in front of her. "Kneel."

 _Screw you!_ Nikita longs to shout, but she sinks to her knees against her will.

"Make a kissy face," orders the cheerleader.

Nikita tells her lips not to pucker up. They ignore her.

"Bigger!"

"No!" yells Manny.

To make matters even worse, the cheerleader displays her ass. "Lean over!" she chortles.

_Oh, no. Oh, no._

Matt looks shocked. "What?"

"Kiss my ass!" the cheerleader commands.

 _Like_ hell _I'm kissing your crusty ass!_ Nikita thinks frantically. She struggles to disobey, but it _hurts,_ and the clouds are advancing, and there's no way out of this Collar-induced nightmare. All she can do is close her eyes, make sure that her thoughts are still her own, and pray that the cheerleader will let her go once this humiliating task is over.

"Nikita, don't do it!" Joey cries.

Nikita kisses the cheerleader's ass. It _stinks._ The bitch probably hasn't washed it in a _month._ Nikita's not sure if this is the _worst_ thing that's happened to her so far in Everlock, but it's for _sure_ in the top three.

 _"Yes,"_ sighs the cheerleader victoriously.

"What do you want with her?" Manny demands to know.

The cheerleader pats Nikita on the head like a dog.

"Nikita," says Matt, "can you come here?"

"I'm trying!" Nikita's body refuses to do what she tells it to do. Her thoughts are beginning to blur together in her head, but she grits her teeth and resists the influence of the Collar. "I'm trying!" _She wants to brainwash me...I can't...won't let her...gotta...fight..._

 

There's a lunatic in the lounge, along with a Demon Dog. Nikita's lost control of her body. Joey, Matt, and Manny stand together, horror etched onto their faces as they watch the Collar of Control tighten its grip on their friend. _Is she okay?_ Joey worries. _What's gonna happen to her? How do we save her without the cheerleader or the Demon Dog hurting us?_

While Nikita continues to try and get up, the cheerleader approaches Mortimer. "There's something wicked about you, pretty boy," she snickers, rubbing her hand on his crotch despite the panicked look on his face. "You let something creep inside you!"

Matt nopes off to the corner. "Jesus..."

The cheerleader sticks her hand down Mortimer's pants, laughing like a maniac all the while.

Mortimer pushes her off. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about!" He looks like he wants to throw up. Joey doesn't blame him.

"I think you do," taunts the cheerleader.

As much as Joey hates this woman, he _is_ a bit concerned about what she just said. She seems to think that something dark creeped inside Mortimer. _Is_ he _the corrupted one?_ ponders Joey for half a second before he remembers that he has more important things to worry about.

"No matter." The cheerleader tosses back her head. "The Carnival Master will be _free_ soon, and he'll rip your _god_ damn throats out! You should be _ashamed_ of how slowly you're progressing!"

 _"Bullshit!"_ Calliope steps forward, her hands clenched into fists, her countenance engulfed with a righteous wave of fury beyond _anything_ that Joey's _ever_ seen her express. She spits in the Demon Dog's face.

"Whoa!" Joey gasps, impressed.

Calliope glares daggers at the psychotic cheerleader. "We have seven of the artifacts," she snarls.

Manny claps. "Come on, pumpkin!"

"And _you're_ the only one standing between us and the last one," proclaims Calliope, "so _move_ your ass, Lucy, before I beat the _crazy_ out of you!" She shoves the cheerleader (whose name must be Lucy) backwards.

"Yeah!" Joey cheers. _It's what she deserves!_

Lucy laughs softly, then proceeds to attack Calliope. Before Joey knows it, the two women are engaged in a no-holds-barred beatdown, pummeling the living daylights out of each other.

"Stop!" screams Joey. "Stop!" But, as usual, no one listens to him.

 

"Wait, something's happening, you guys!" Nikita's mind is a foggy mess of swirling spirals and soothing songs, as if she's being eased into submission. "Something's happening! Something...no!" It _can't_ end like this! "Something's happening!" She's Nikita Dragun! She is _not_ a nut job's toy! "Somebody!"

Matt and Manny both run to help her. Matt gets there first. "Nikita!" He reaches for the Collar, but before he can get it off, it makes her grab him by his neck. "No!" He becomes a psychological mess of recollected fear.

_What...no...I don't wanna hurt him...I don't...please...let us go..._

"We gotta go, Manny!" she faintly hears Mortimer shout. "Come on!"

_Manny..._

The Collar of Control completes its work. Nikita Dragun's conscious mind collapses into a safe, warm, beautiful trance, where nothing matters except doing as Lucy says. She's gone. An empty-headed mind slave takes her place.

 

Matt can't move. The pressure against his neck sends him back to the final moments of his first life. Once again, the Strong Man drags him away from his friends, and once again, he can't breathe through the pain. He hears Rosanna sob. Tears stream down his pale cheeks. _I'm gonna die..._

But he doesn't. He might've forgotten how.

Mortimer ushers an _incredibly_ distressed Manny out of the lounge. Joey tries to follow them, only to be tackled against the couch by the Demon Dog. Calliope, thanks to Lucy, is an unconscious lump on the floor. Nikita's not screaming anymore, which can only mean that the Collar succeeded in brainwashing her. Matt attempts to escape her grasp, but she's suddenly _way_ stronger than she was previously. It's most likely a side effect of the mind control.

"Demon Dog!" hollers Lucy. "Out!"

She grabs Joey. The Demon Dog runs after Manny and Mortimer. Matt's left at the mercy of Nikita the Winter Soldier. "Nikita," he pleads quietly, blinking back tears at the sight of the twin spirals in her eyes, "it's me, Matt. Don't do this. Snap out of it. Wake up."

"She can't _hear_ you, sweetie pie," giggles Lucy dementedly. "She's _mine_ now. Nikita, we're going! Come on!"

Nikita's voice is flat, lifeless, and contains _none_ of her usual fire. "Do I bring this one?"

 _"Please_ do," purrs Lucy, licking her lips in a way that makes Matt shudder.

Matt and Joey are marched out of the lounge and into the night. _Why is this happening to us?_ sobs Matt internally. _We just wanted to save Everlock. We didn't want to be dragged around from place to place by an insane predator._ He hopes that Calliope will wake up soon. He hopes that Manny and Mortimer manage to get away from the Demon Dog. He hopes that this ordeal doesn't go the way he fears it could go.

Lucy's still laughing. "Faster, Nikita!"

They arrive at one of the tents. "What are we doing here?" Joey asks.

Instead of answering his question, Lucy handcuffs him to one of the two poles in the center of the tent. Nikita chains Matt to the other pole. "Your wig looks nice," Matt stammers in a last-ditch attempt to push her out of her trance. "Makeup! You like makeup. You did a _really_ good job on your eye shadow tonight."

Nikita doesn't acknowledge any of his compliments.

"Dammit, we're out of handcuffs," whines Lucy, dangling the last pair over her head. "Oh, well! Gotta use what you got!" She handcuffs Matt's ankle to his pole.

"Hey!" Matt complains. "What was _that_ for? Why _me?"_

"So you don't get away, of course!" Lucy's bulging eyes travel up and down Matt's body, as if she's eyeing up an especially delicious meal. "Can't let the cute ones get away, can we, Nikita?"

"No," drones Nikita.

Joey stomps his foot ferociously. "You leave Matt alone!"

 _Why the heck is he being so protective of me lately?_ questions the part of Matt's brain that isn't too busy praying that Lucy doesn't touch him like she touched Mortimer. _We're not_ that _close. He probably only chose me to help save Everlock in the first place because of what I have with Ro._ His heart aches. _Well,_ had _with Ro. At any rate, I appreciate having someone in my corner, but why does Joey want to keep me alive?_

Lucy, much to Matt's relief, turns on her heel. "Work before play," she says. "Nikita, find the pretty boy in the brown jacket and bring him to me. I'm gonna go set things up in the next tent."

"What about the other boy?" asks Nikita.

"Oh, him?" Lucy snorts. "Catch him if you can, but if you can't, just sic my Demon Dog on him. Humphrey needs to eat something besides candy once in a while."

"No! Nikita! You don't want that!" Matt yells desperately. "Manny's your best friend!"

But Nikita's already gone.

Lucy skips off. "You two be good," she squeals over her shoulder on her way out of the tent. "We're gonna have _lots_ of fun when I get back!"

Matt's not at all eager to find out what she means. _We can't wait around and do nothing,_ he tells himself. _We gotta find a way out of here before things get any worse!_

Joey's obviously thinking the same thing. "How do we get out of here?"

"I..." _Think, Matt. Think!_ "I don't know."

 

As the Demon Dog chases Manny and Mortimer down the streets of Everlock, all Manny can think about are the awful spirals he saw in Nikita's eyes. _They brainwashed her._ His blood runs cold. _That pom-pom bitch and her Demon Dog brainwashed my best friend!_ And _they took Joey and Matt!_ The only reason he isn't losing his mind right now is because he's not _completely_ on his own.

"Come on!" Mortimer hisses. "Here! Quick! This way! This way!"

They round the corner. Manny slips, falls, slides, and practically eats shit. Mortimer puts himself between Manny and the Demon Dog until Manny scrambles back to his feet.

"Manny, go!" shouts Mortimer over and over.

Nikita shows up. She walks like a woman on a mission, which is typical Nikita, but the twin pinwheels that rotate in her eyes aren't typical at all. Manny bites his tongue to stop himself from screaming her name.

"You got this!" Mortimer steps right into Nikita's path, allowing her to subdue him. "Come on!"

"Get that one!" Nikita barks at the Demon Dog.

"That one." Manny's just "that one" now. Nikita's so deep under the Collar's spell that she doesn't even _remember_ him anymore.

 _It should've been me,_ he thinks despondently as he runs into the drugstore. _Matt was right. I should've stepped up and taken that collar for her. I mean, sure, I'd be brainwashed by a psycho bitch and probably forced to do all sorts of messed-up things, but at least Nikita would be okay!_

He closes the drugstore door behind him, leans his hand against it, and catches his breath. A part of him expects to see a friendly face somewhere, but the place is deserted. _Of course it is,_ he realizes. _My friends are all gone. Nikita's brainwashed. Matt, Joey, and Mortimer got captured. Calliope's out cold. It's just me now. I'm all I've got._

Physically, he's the strongest bitch in the group, but without his friends, he's never felt weaker.

The Demon Dog snarls from outside the door. "Omigod," breathes Manny. "Okay." He wants to curl up into a ball and cry until he passes out, but that won't be any help to his friends, so he bars the door, takes a deep breath, and looks for clues.

He sees a note.

_Go to the mailbox._

"The mail?" Manny's hands feel cold. "Where do I check the mail?" There's a mailbox outside the door, but the Demon Dog's there, ready to eat him for breakfast. He needs a distraction.

Within seconds, he spots a jar of candy on display. _Candy! Of course! Lucy was feeding him candy earlier._ He stuffs his pockets full of lollipops and gumdrops. _Maybe he'll want the candy instead of me?_

It's then that he notices the drugstore's unlocked back door.

_Oh, shit._

The Demon Dog walks in. Manny ducks behind the cash register, absolutely petrified. _No._ His spirit goes crazy with fright. _Not now._ He knows that this town hates his guts, but even if he _has_ to die, he doesn't want to die alone on the drugstore floor while all of his friends are in trouble. _Anything's_ better than that.

So as the Demon Dog checks behind the register, Manny scoots away to avoid him. For a while, the two of them are engaged in a weird dance around the register, but before long, the Demon Dog gets the bright idea to climb on _top_ of the register. He looks down and sees Manny.

"Omigod." Manny fishes a peppermint out of his pocket. "Hi! I have candy!" _It's just a dog. I've got one at home. I know what to do._ "You want one?"

Thankfully, the Demon Dog is more interested in the candy than he is in the six-foot hunk of meat that's holding it, so Manny's free to slowly make a break from the danger zone.

"Here, I'll put one right here for you," he says, placing the peppermint on the counter, where the Demon Dog snatches it up and tears off its wrapping with his teeth. "From me to you!" Manny inches his way out of the drugstore. "You have fun in here, sir!"

By the time he escapes through the back door, he's breathing harder than ever. He locks the store behind him. The Demon Dog's subsequent roar is loud enough to wake up everyone in the tri-state area.

 _Okay,_ thinks Manny. _I'm safe. He's locked inside the drugstore. Now, I gotta go get the mail, unbrainwash Nikita, and save my friends._ Then, with a searing pain in his stomach, _What if they're all dead by now? What if Nikita's too far gone? What if I really_ am _the last YouTuber in Everlock?_ The thought is agonizing.

He checks the mailbox at the front of the drugstore. "A key," he murmurs. "And I found a note." When he looks up from his two new prizes, he catches sight of Calliope in the middle of the road, and his heart leaps at the glimpse of his friend. "Calliope! You're okay!" He runs to her. "Omigod. Omigod. Are you okay?"

Calliope's face is bloody and bruised, but otherwise, she's all right. "Come on," she whispers urgently. "Where are the others?"

"I don't know!" whimpers Manny. "I don't know! They got taken!"

"Then we must go to them," is Calliope's simple reply.

She's right. The team is still a team, even when they're scattered every which way. Now, as the only two people who aren't dead, captured, or brainwashed, it's Manny and Calliope's responsibility to rescue everyone. _They need us._ Although Manny's not sure if he's willing to admit it out loud, _he_ needs _them_ just as much, if not more. _Especially_ Nikita. Leaving her behind is _not_ an option. They promised each other that they were in this together, and no amount of brainwashing will break that promise. Not if Manny can help it.

First things first. He'll find Matt, Joey, and Mortimer. He'll get his apologies out of the way, because in hindsight, he _was_ kind of a bitch before shit hit the fan. Once that's done, he'll do whatever it takes to break Nikita free from the Collar's control.

He'll save them.

He _has_ to.

He can't do this alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The gang must figure out a way to defeat Lucy. Also, Matt reunites with an old friend, Manny and Nikita reenact _The Exorcist,_ and there's quite a bit of animal cruelty to top the whole thing off.


	47. The Psychopath's Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Collar of Control has brainwashed Nikita into becoming Lucy's plaything. Lucy has also captured Matt and Joey. Manny is broken-hearted, frightened, and in need of a makeup retouch. Oh, and there's a Demon Dog on the loose. How the heck are our heroes supposed to fix this crazy situation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains _even more_ sexual content, assault, and general ickiness than the last one did. Really, this whole episode is a mess. Like I said last time, proceed with caution!  
>  Also, I'm sorry this chapter took so long to come out. I had exams, and also I got distracted by other projects, but here it is now, so enjoy.

Joey does _not_ like his current situation, but then again, when has he ever?

Matt takes stock of their surroundings, and his eyes linger on the beanbags that litter the ground near his pole. "Is there anything you could use a beanbag for?" he asks.

"There's a bucket with a rope with a lever on it." Even as the words leave Joey, it hits him: _we need to weigh the bucket down._ "Can you kick it?"

"I can try kicking it, yeah," says Matt, preparing to kick one of the beanbags.

Joey bites his lip. "Yeah. Kick it." He never thought that their salvation would depend on a few beanbags, but it is what it is, and they _have_ to get out of here before Lucy and Nikita come back. They've already dealt with enough abuse from Everlock. They don't deserve any more.

Matt kicks the beanbag, but it doesn't go far enough to reach Joey. "Aw, shoot." The Detective smiles sheepishly. "This is why I'm not into sportsball." He kicks a second one, which goes farther.

"Oh!" shouts Joey. "There you go!" Since he can still move his legs, he slides down into a sitting position.

"Can you reach that?" inquires Matt. "Go down a little bit lower. Yes! There you go! Use that core! Use those ab workouts, man!"

 _Despite everything he's endured,_ thinks Joey with a smile, _MatPat's still MatPat at heart._ He picks up the beanbag with his feet and tries to put it into the bucket, but he misses. "Oh! You gotta be kidding me!"

 _"So_ close!" Matt cries.

After receiving a few more beanbags via Matt's kicking skills, Joey's ready to try again. "Okay. Okay. I got this." He misses again. "Omigosh, are you frickin' kidding me?"

"Joey..."

"Get in the frickin' hole!"

"Omigod, Joey!"

Joey's next few attempts end the same way.

_"Joey!"_

_Why is this so hard?_ grumbles Joey to himself as he misses for the gajillionth time. "Mothertrucker!"

"Watch your language," giggles Matt.

"Mothertrucker _is_ watching my language." Joey balances a beanbag on his foot. "All right. We're going with one foot. You ready?" This time, the beanbag lands in the bucket. "Oh, yeah! Okay. I think I got it."

"Is anything moving over there?" asks Matt.

"It's gonna need quite a bit of weight," Joey replies.

Matt sighs. "Oh, great."

Joey uses his feet to throw a few more beanbags into the bucket. "Oh, I got it down." Leftover sweat sticks to his forehead, but a proud grin forms across his weary face. "Okay."

"Yeah! You figured out the strategy?"

"Yeah." Another beanbag land in the bucket, provoking a squeal from Joey. "Oh! I'm on a roll!"

"There it is," says Matt, and the bucket drops at last.

"Yes!" Joey feels like he just pulled off one of Hercules's labors. Now, all they have to do is find a way out of these chains, and they'll be free to find their friends...assuming, of course, that their friends can still be saved.

 

"Wait!" The handcuff on Matt's ankle falls away. "Oh, jeez!" _Thank God for freedom of movement!_

Joey perks up. "You're free?"

"Oh, yeah! I got my leg free!"

"Is there anything you can reach now with your feet?"

Matt uses his feet to pull away a nearby blanket, revealing a grid that is _definitely_ not safe for work. "Wait, wait, wait!" He blinks in surprise. "I have a grid of symbols. Very sexual symbols, actually."

"How so?"

"Look around on your side. Do you see anything that looks like..." Matt's ears turn red. "...hands on breasts?"

Joey looks around. "No, I see...isn't that your horse?"

 _My horse?_ It takes Matt a second to remember the pink pony that he won and subsequently lost at the beginning of the night, but sure enough, there she is, right where he left her. "Yeah. That's...that's Blanche." It warms his heart to see that _one_ relic of happier times survived this town's madness.

"Blanche!" Joey exclaims.

"I know." Matt's close to crying over a stuffed animal. "I've reunited with Blanche." He failed to save Rosanna from Everlock, but he still has a chance to save Blanche. It's not a chance he plans on wasting. After all, he _promised_ that he'd bring her home to his family, and even now, he remains committed to that promise. In a way, _she's_ Rosanna now. The spirit of the little Jet Setter lives within Blanche, keeping an eye on Matt throughout his darkest hour, letting him know that they'll both be all right.

"I'm looking at this device, though," he grunts, returning his attention to the task at hand. "Are you sure you don't see anything, like, someone getting an axe to the head?

Joey checks his surroundings. "Yeah! I see...I see symbols! Okay! Pom-pom!"

"Pom-pom. Okay." Matt uses his foot to press the pom-pom symbol on the grid.

"Second one is boobies."

"Boobies." Matt chuckles uncomfortably as he presses that particular symbol. "I'm glad you were able to recognize that one," he quips.

"Third one are panties."

Matt presses the panties. Between those and the breasts, he feels like _such_ a pervert right now. He mentally apologizes to Stephanie, women in general, and his own squicked-out sense of decency.

Joey moves on to the fourth symbol. "I don't know what it's called," he admits. "The cheerleader ra-ra-ra?"

"Megaphone," replies Matt.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Megaphone." Matt presses it. "Okay."

"And then the last one's an axe to the head," finishes Joey.

"Axe to the head." Matt presses it, and a compartment flies open. "Ah!" He laughs. "That's awesome! Omigosh!"

"What happened?"

"Something popped out," says Matt. "A little...a little drawer." Inside the drawer is a key and a note. "Oh, don't lose that key down that little crack." He tries the key on his handcuffs, and thankfully, they work. Before long, both he and Joey are free.

"The note," says Joey. "Read the note."

_To free your friend from the influence of the Collar..._

Matt almost screams with relief. _We can save Nikita! We can rescue her from Lucy's control!_ He's not sure if he and Nikita are technically friends or not, but that doesn't matter. If there's a way to revert Evil Brainwashed Nikita back to Slightly Abrasive But Still Good Nikita, then by God, he'll take the opportunity. She deserves it.

Then, he remembers that Nikita's not the only one in trouble. Calliope's probably still unconscious. Lucy wants Mortimer for "work," whatever that means. Worst of all, Manny might already be gone, torn to bloody bits by the Demon Dog.

 _At least I still got you, Blanche._ He picks up his beloved pony, holds her tight, and thinks of Rosanna. _I'll get you out. I swear._

 

"I sense someone in that tent over there," murmurs Calliope, squeezing Manny's hand. "I think it might be them."

Manny's too anxious to question her powers. He and Calliope burst through the entrance to the tent, and there are Matt and Joey, completely unharmed. Something inside Manny's spirit sings with joy at the sight.

Joey gasps. "Calliope! Manny! I thought you guys were dead!"

"Same," says Manny breathlessly. "You okay? You good? Great. Listen, I'm sorry about what I—"

"We know how to get Nikita back," interrupts Matt, who has a pink horse under his arm.

"You do?" Manny's half-finished apology dies on his lips, killed by the prospect of saving his best friend from Lucy's clutches. "How?"

Matt reads the note in his hand.

_To free your friend from the influence of the Collar, three of you must lay hands on them at once and then quickly remove it._

"So we all have to touch and then remove the Collar," explains Matt.

 _If you choose to not save your friend, they'll be forced into the final challenge without a vote. But be careful! If your friend touches you, then_ you _are automatically added to the voting box._

Manny stops listening after _"they'll be forced into the final challenge."_ So what if the mission is dangerous? This is _Nikita_ they're talking about! He _can't_ let her stay brainwashed, and he _certainly_ can't let her die! "I think we need to save her." His desperate words run like a river from his mouth. "She's done _so_ much for us."

"She has," Joey agrees.

For a moment, Manny tries to picture himself exiting Everlock without Nikita by his side, but he draws a blank. Such a possibility is no possibility at all. "And..." _I love her._ "I can't imagine leaving here without her." 

Matt nods in silent understanding.

"So we need to go to the church." Manny pulls his note from his pocket. A few pieces of candy tumble out along with it, but he lets them fall.

Joey raises an eyebrow. "What does the note say?

_Cross the bridge and venture onto unholy ground. The first ring lies before the altar inside the Church of the Damned._

"And I have a key," says Manny, showing it to the others.

"That's where the Carnival Master is," Joey balks. "We can't go in there."

"Why not?" snaps Manny.

"Because," Joey repeats, "that's where the Carnival Master is!"

"That's the whole _point!"_ exclaims Matt. "That's what we've been working for! That's what the eight artifacts are for!" It's like he's holding himself back from launching into a movie-style inspirational speech.

"Okay," says Joey reluctantly.

"Okay." Manny grits his teeth. "Let's go."

As the three YouTubers follow Calliope out of the tent, Matt kisses the top of his horse's head. "Blanche," he whispers. "Stay here, Blanche." He sets her down. "I'm not putting you at risk. I'll be back for you. I'll be back!"

 _If that bubblegum bitch did_ anything _to hurt my girl,_ fumes the darkest part of Manny's soul, _I'm gonna feed her to her own Demon Dog. That's a promise._

 

Joey doesn't want to face the Carnival Master, but he knows that it must be done in order to save Everlock. _Maybe this is the endgame,_ he hopes. _If we defeat him now, maybe no one else will die._

But before they can do that, they have to save Nikita.

They find her in a separate tent. She and Lucy are conducting some sort of crazy kinky ritual on a tied-up and shirtless Mortimer. He croaks out a cry of _"stop,"_ but both women ignore his protests and continue to hit him, touch him, and do things to him that make Joey want to use a healthy dose of brain bleach.

"The hell is going on?" the nauseated Savant gasps. "What is happening?"

Mortimer's voice is a dull rasp. "Oh, you _bitch!"_

"Omigod, omigod," is all Manny can say.

While Nikita sniggers "come on, let's taste some, pretty boy," Lucy digs her teeth into her captive's exposed skin. A red light at the center of Mortimer's chest glows with eerie magic.

Joey has no idea what's going on, but it _can't_ be good. "What are they doing to him?"

"I don't think I'm old enough to watch this," says Matt, who is thirty-one and married.

Lucy slides her hand back down Mortimer's pants. "You belong to me and the Carnival Master now!" she proclaims through maniacal laughter.

"Should we throw the bone?" suggests Matt.

It's then that Lucy whirls around and spots the rest of the group. "How did they get free?" she shrieks. "Nikita! Bring them to me!"

Nikita sprints towards her old friends with a dark expression on her face.

"Now's our chance," hisses Calliope. "We gotta grab her. Come on!"

She, Joey, Manny, and Matt take off in different directions. As Joey runs, he hears Mortimer groan _"please"_ from the tent, and he feels a pang of remorse for abandoning his friend in such an awful position. _We'll come back for you, Mortimer,_ he mentally assures the helper. _We just gotta unbrainwash Nikita first._

Nikita chases everyone around the clearing. "Guys!" Joey shouts. "Someone hug her from behind!" If the Troublemaker touches one of them, that person will be sent straight into the death challenge, and Joey doesn't want such a calamity to happen again.

 

"Come here, Blondie!" giggles Nikita, wearing a slasher smile that is _so_ not a good look on her. "Come here!"

 _No,_ you _come here!_ Manny closes in on his brainwashed partner in crime. _I'm sorry, Nikita. I know you don't like it when people touch your wig. But this is for your own good! You'll thank me later!_

He grabs her from behind. She screams, flails, and convulses as if she's a character from _The Exorcist,_ but through it all, he holds her close and tries not to let her touch him. Matt and Joey lay hands on her as well, while Calliope pries the Collar of Control off her throat.

Manny's breath hitches in his lungs. _What is going on? Is your head gonna spin too, bitch?_ The sarcastic thought is drowned out by the unearthly sounds coming from Nikita's body. _Wake up._ He squeezes his eyes shut. _Wake up, Nikita, wake up,_ please _wake up, don't leave me here alone..._

 

Someone's trying to drag Nikita out of her safe place. It hurts. She doesn't like it. She wants to stay. She's _supposed_ to stay. She fights tooth and nail in order to stay, but whoever's got her won't let go. _No..._ Lucy's commands dissipate. _I'm not...I won't...I am..._

The world explodes into focus.

_I am Nikita Dragun!_

Just like that, she awakens in her best friend's arms, and her mind is her own again. "Where am I?" She frowns when she realizes that everyone in the group has their hands on her. "Why are you touching my wig? Manny, we _talked_ about this!"

"You're back!" rejoices Manny.

Joey sighs at the sky. "Omigod."

Nikita feels like hell. She doesn't remember anything after attacking Matt, she has a splitting headache, she's burned out, and to top it all off, one of her earrings is gone. "Where's my earring, you guys?" she mumbles.

"No thanks?" asks Matt incredulously. "No nothing?"

"Nikita." Manny gently grips her shoulders. "You were literally being _such_ a bitch." It's his way of thanking her for coming back to earth, and she loves him for it. The only reason that his words don't make her cry is because she promised herself that she'd never cry again.

"We need to go into that church," says Joey.

"We need to go into the church," echoes Manny quietly, "and we need to cleanse the artifact."

"Okay." To say that Nikita's ready to cleanse the Collar is a _massive_ understatement. _I can't_ wait _to see that Lucy bitch go up in smoke,_ her bruised ego growls. _She deserves it! I'm gonna laugh_ so _hard when she dies, and then, I'm gonna roast marshmallows over what's left of her!_

Matt speaks up again. "But we gotta watch out, cause the Carnival Master's in there—"

His sentence is cut off by the sudden appearance of the Demon Dog, who zooms out of the drugstore at top speed. Everyone screams and runs for the church.

"Go!" Joey yells. "He's coming! Quick! Quick! Run! He's coming!"

 _Well, frick frack paddywack give a dog a bone,_ snaps Nikita's aching mind as the group bolts across the bridge. _I_ just _got back from mental slavery, and now we're being chased by hell's answer to Lassie! I'm too tired for this shit!_

 

Matt's glad that they saved Nikita, but they still have four rings to retrieve, the Collar to cleanse, and Mortimer to rescue, not to mention a Demon Dog that wants to eat the lot of them. They're going to be _very_ busy for the next half hour, that's for sure.

Manny's the first to reach the church. He grapples for his key.

"Go, Manny, go!" screeches Joey. "Open it! Go, go, go!"

Seconds later, Manny opens it, and the fatigued group stumbles into the empty church. The Demon Dog tries to follow them inside, only to be blocked by what looks like an invisible force field.

"He can't come in!" Manny realizes. "He's a demon!"

 _Nice!_ Matt takes this as an opportunity to engage in some good old-fashioned taunting. "Oh, you can't come in!" He wiggles his eyebrows at the monster outside their door.

Manny laughs, then joins in the taunting by waving his arms around. Nikita rolls her eyes and mutters something about boys. Calliope intimidates the Demon Dog with her killer glare. Joey, meanwhile, is more interested in something at the back of the church, and once everyone's had their fun, they see what he sees.

"Omigod," groans Manny.

It's an chamber of amber.

"That's him," reveals Joey. "That's the Carnival Master. He's encased in amber."

Matt blinks. "Amber, huh?" He wasn't aware that the Carnival Master could be contained by the same substance that's used to fossilize insects.

Calliope shakes her head. "It is not good."

"I mean, here he is," says Matt, "but should we look around?" The Carnival Master _is_ dangerous, but as long as he's trapped in his little amber prison, he can't really do much to hurt them. They'll deal with him when the time comes. For now, they should find the next piece of their ongoing puzzle.

"Okay, yeah," concedes Joey.

The four surviving YouTubers, plus Calliope, search the church. Eventually, they come across a pair of handcuffs in an altar, along with (of course) a note. "Right here," says Nikita, holding up the note. "Right here. Right here."

"Ooh." Matt wasn't expecting more handcuffs, but he goes with it. "We got handcuffs. Good eye."

Nikita reads the note.

_To claim the first ring, two of you must make a sacrifice by placing one hand each inside the altar and closing the metal ring around it._

"So two of us have to get locked in," says Manny.

Joey frowns. "I feel like, since Matt and I were already locked up..."

"We've already been in chains." Matt's still unsure where his sudden friendship with Joey came from. He'd say that it's a side effect of their time together as Lucy's prisoners, but Joey was acting like his personal defense lawyer before Lucy even showed up. Maybe he _is_ doing it for Rosanna's sake. Or maybe there's a deeper explanation. Whatever the case, possessing Joey's friendship is _much_ better than braving Everlock alone.

 

Joey gestures to Nikita and Manny. "You guys should do it."

"Okay." Nikita's _not_ in the mood to be handcuffed to _anyone,_ even Manny, but there's no point in complaining about it. Besides, it sure as hell beats being brainwashed. "That's fine."

Manny turns to look at her, swallows, and nods. "That's fair."

"I put my hand in the drain before," recalls Nikita.

"Okay," chortles Matt. "So you're used to shoving your hand into dark holes."

Nikita was _not_ expecting _MatPat,_ of all people, to say something so dirty. _Aren't you supposed to be the family-friendly one, mister?_

She and Manny each stick a hand into their individual sides of the altar. The chill of the metal handcuff around her wrist causes her to shiver. "Okay," she says. "Ready?"

Joey hurries over to her. "Here. I'll lock you in."

"I'll help over here," decides Matt, and off he goes to assist Manny. "Got it?"

Joey and Matt handcuff Nikita and Manny respectively. Nikita almost makes a joke about how kinky this all is, but she restrains herself. Everlock's sick enough without her help.

"Ow!" hollers Manny.

"Okay," says Nikita. "We're locked."

The altar opens, causing an "oh, shit" from Manny and an "oh!" from Joey. In addition to the handcuff that connects Manny and Nikita, there's also a note, a ring, and some flashlights.

Matt grabs the ring. "Wait, it's the first ring!"

"And there's flashlights," notes Joey.

They have the first ring, and that's great, but now Nikita and Manny are officially handcuffed to each other. _Uh, Manny,_ sighs Nikita internally, chafing against her cuff, _you know I love you, and I love jewelry, but this one attached to your wrist as well...I don't know if I like this one, girl._

Joey reads the note.

_So many in this town took a dirty secret to their grave. The second ring can only be seen once you have reunited five of them with their secret fetish._

Oh, wow. This really _is_ the R-rated segment of the night. What next? Will they _actually_ have to screw each other? Nikita hopes not. None of these guys are her type, romance-wise, and she can only take so much humiliation.

The Demon Dog's roar scares her out of her thoughts. "Oh my Jesus of the Christ Almighty, I am in the church of God!" she declares, shining her new flashlight in the creature's face. _Have some respect for the sanctity of the church, bitch!_

 

They have to go to the graveyard in order to complete the fetish challenge, but how are they going to do that when there's a Demon Dog blocking the door? "How do we get out of here?" Joey asks, hoping that his friends will have the answer.

"I know," says Matt. "One of us should distract the Demon Dog. That'll give the others time to run."

 _Thank you, Matt._ "Good plan. I'll be the distraction." Joey's had some experience distracting demons in the past, so acting as bait for a Demon Dog is right up his alley.

"If you get tired, I'll take over," volunteers Matt.

Joey nods. "We'll switch."

"Okay." Manny leads Nikita away. "You got this."

"Watch out for the roots," advises Matt.

 _It's a dog,_ Joey reassures himself. _It's the same species as Wolf and Storm. Just because it's a Demon Dog that likes to eat people doesn't make it any less of a dog. You'll be fine._ He darts out of the church, screams "Over here!" and runs. "Guys, be quick!"

 

Running around Everlock was hard enough when Manny was on his own, but running around Everlock while handcuffed to Nikita is even harder. _If I trip and fall,_ he can't help but fret, _I'm gonna bring her down with me, and if the Demon Dog gets one of us, he's gonna get both us._ Yeah, they're in this together, but _dying_ together is a step too far even for them.

Nikita finds a ball gag on one of the gravestones. "I think this is like—"

"A ball gag." Manny lets her pick it up, then rushes them both over to a red heel that's lying around unattended. "A heel. A heel. A heel." _Who leaves ball gags and heels in the middle of a graveyard? Is that, like, part of some sexy burial ritual in Everlock?_

"So we have to reunite them with their fetish," remarks Matt, using his flashlight to illuminate one of the graves.

_Sally Swanson. Loved to gossip. You have to force her to enjoy some peace and quiet._

Matt turns to Manny and Nikita. "Do you have a ball gag?"

"Yeah," says Nikita.

"We have a ball gag," Manny confirms. "We have a ball gag."

Matt points to Sally Swanson's grave. "Here. Right here."

 _I don't know if I'm gonna live or die,_ Manny's mind snarks as he places the ball gag where it belongs, _but at least I know that Sally Swanson was a real kinky bitch._

 

"Omigosh, he's coming!" squeals Joey, who's still being chased by the Demon Dog. "I'm going back in the church!" He ducks through the entrance.

 _That was quick._ Matt knows better than to stay in the graveyard while the Demon Dog is unoccupied, so he, Manny, Nikita, and Calliope join Joey in the church. _I guess Joey isn't cut out for this sort of thing._

"Guys, did you get it?" Joey asks.

"No, not yet," replies Manny.

Joey wipes his forehead. "What happened?" he questions in a small voice.

"We need more time," Manny insists. "There's no way in hell..."

Before Matt knows it, Joey's looking right at him. "Let's rotate."

"Rotate?" Matt clarifies.

"Yeah."

"Okay." _Welp. Guess I gotta go take on Demon Fido now. Just what I always wanted._

Joey seems slightly relieved. "So we're still looking for other fetishes?"

"Yes," says Manny. "We are. I saw binoculars for the Peeping Tom."

Matt remembers those binoculars. "Peeping Tom. That's in the middle." He notices that the Demon Dog is pawing against the force field, and he grimaces. "You guys should go finish those fetishes. I'll do my best not to become dog food."

"Wait!" Manny pulls a peppermint out of his pocket and hands it to Matt. "Here. Take this. The Demon Dog likes candy. It'll keep him distracted so that you don't get hurt."

"How come _I_ didn't get any candy?" Joey demands to know.

Manny turns bright pink with embarrassment. "I forgot! Sorry!"

"Never mind that," says Nikita. "We gotta go! Now!"

She, Manny, Joey, and Calliope sneak out the back door, leaving Matt to deal with the monster. "Hey, Demon Dog!" The nervous Detective inches out of the church. "I'm more of a cat person! Cats are _so_ much better than devil dogs!"

The Demon Dog clearly resents that comment.

Matt's already exhausted. The last thing he wants to do is run even more. "You want some candy?" He uses Manny's peppermint to lure the Demon Dog to the front of the building. "Yeah! Who's a good Demon Dog?" Once he's safely inside the church, he drops the candy on the porch, and the Demon Dog pounces on its sugary goodness. _There. That should take his mind off us for a while._

 

"Binoculars. Get that right now." Joey snatches the binoculars off the ground. "Okay. Where's the Peeping Tom? Matt! Which one was the Peeping Tom?"

"It's the one with windows!" Matt yells back.

 _Thanks._ "I found it!" shouts Joey. "Okay!" He tosses the binoculars onto the grave of the person they belong to. _Two out of five. We're getting there._

 

Matt watches the Demon Dog tear at the peppermint's wrapping, then makes the mistake of saying "You need me to unwrap it, Demon Dog?"

The Demon Dog throws the candy at him.

"You don't like candy?" Matt picks up the peppermint, unwraps it, and tries again. "Here you go, Demon Dog. Yeah! Good boy!" _I bet the people on_ National Geographic _never had to do anything like this._

 

"We need to find out where the leather goes," says Joey.

Nikita spots something on the ground, and at first, she assumes that it's a bell. "Wait, here's a bell." She squints. "Here's a bell."

"This is a whip," Manny corrects her.

 _Bells, whips, whatever. It's still dirty._ "Okay, whips. Whips." Nikita waves her flashlight around the graveyard until she finds the epitaph they need.

_Donna Gunn. Was always a hit at parties. No one could whip it on the dance floor like her._

"Whip!" Nikita emphasizes.

"Okay," says Manny. "Put the whip down."

The third fetish is placed. Nikita and Manny move on to the next grave.

_Richard Wright. Was a loving father and husband. Then, he got off on the wrong foot, and look what happened to him._

"Wrong foot!" chants Nikita. "Wrong foot, wrong foot, wrong foot!"

"Wrong foot, wrong foot." Manny gives Richard Wright his heel back, leaving only one fetish left to match.

 _Hm._ Nikita surveys the graveyard. _If I was into leather, what the hell would my epitaph say?_

 

"There you go." Matt slowly brings the unwrapped peppermint to the Demon Dog's mouth. "There you go, man. Good boy."

Suddenly, the Demon Dog grabs Matt's arm and attempts to pull him out of the church.

"No!" Matt struggles to break free. "No, no, no!" _If he drags me past the boundary, I'm kibble!_ Terrified condensation mists his glasses, and his heart beats faster than a speeding bullet. _I_ can't _die now! After all I've been through, this_ can't _be how my story ends!_

One brief battle later, he manages to wrench his arm out of the Demon Dog's grasp, but the force of his escape sends him tumbling to the church floor. He lies down, stares at the ceiling, gasps out words that his ringing ears can't hear, and savors the feeling of air in his lungs. _I'm still alive._ His head buzzes with his own close call as he mentally thanks whatever's responsible for his deliverance.

The rest of the group briefly returns to the church. Calliope picks up the peppermint that Matt dropped. "Hey!" she snarls. "Go catch this, bitch!" She hurls it halfway across the field. The Demon Dog goes after it.

"Yes!" yells Manny. "Come on!"

The five friends return to the graveyard. "Here we go," breathes Matt, poring over the first gravestone he finds. Matching fetishes with their owners is a creepy and arguably unethical task, but after his nasty adventure with the Demon Dog, he's almost _glad_ to be hanging out with ball gags and whips again.

 

"We just need to find the last one," Joey lets everyone know. "I have the leather skirt." He tiptoes around the graveyard, searching for anything leather-related. "Leather, leather, leather, leather, leather..."

_Laura Pinkleberry. Brilliant designer who always like to keep things as short as possible._

Joey throws the leather skirt against Laura's grave. "I found it!"

After all five fetishes have been reunited with their owners, some objects fall out of the largest gravestone in the cemetery. "Oh!" Matt runs over to them. "Something came out of this grave."

"What is it?" asks Joey.

"Oh, it's the ring! It's the ring!" Matt grabs the second ring, together with yet another note. "Hurry. Here. Get back to the church. We'll read it back in the church."

"Get inside!" bellows Joey, and they do.

 

 _We're making good progress,_ thinks Manny once everyone's back inside the church. _We've found two out of four rings, and no one's died yet. Wouldn't be nice if we got lucky this time around?_

Matt reads their new note.

_The Demon Dog holds the third ring around his neck._

Manny's face falls. Of course. Of _course_ the scary monster that wants to eat them alive has what they need. Perfect! Wonderful! Amazing! Awesome! _Now_ what are they going to do?

_You'll need to find the hunter's trap in the trees, lure him inside with a tasty human morsel, and then impale him with the iron rod from the gnarled tree. The trap is on the other side of the cemetery._

_Yay! We get to kill it!_ Manny takes back his previous thoughts. This is the best news he's heard all night.

The group leaves the church and finds the gnarled tree. "I already see it," says Matt, fetching the iron rod from a pile of ashes. "Here we go. Trap is on the other side. Bring the candy."

Manny and Nikita, who are still handcuffed together, distract the Demon Dog. "Hey, baby!" coos Nikita.

"Hey!" Manny wonders if Nikita can feel how much he's shaking. "We have candy!"

"We're sweet like candy!" purrs Nikita. (That's probably not the best thing to say to a carnivorous Demon Dog, but whatever.) "Come on!" They run off. The Demon Dog dashes after them. "Oh, shit! He's running!"

Joey's _way_ ahead of them. "Go, go, go, go, go!"

It doesn't take them long to find the hunter's trap. "Put the candy in the trap!" Matt screams at Manny and Nikita.

Manny passes a peppermint to Nikita. She hurls it into the trap, glances at the Demon Dog, and chirps "There's candy, baby."

"I think we have to pull him in," says Joey, positioning himself at the trap's rope as he speaks.

"Here." Matt, being the most superheroic of the lot, is in charge of killing the Demon Dog. He stands at the other end of the field, his rod in his hands. "Call him for a second."

The other three oblige.

"Over here! Demon Dog! Over here!"

"Hey! Hi!"

"We have candy!"

"Candy! Candy, look! Yum!"

"Do you smell the candy?" Nikita steps forward, pulling Manny along with her. "Let me walk to him."

Manny points at the peppermint, grinning innocently. "There's candy!" _Hey, honey! Remember me? I gave you candy at the drugstore. That_ totally _makes us besties now, so don't kill me, okay?_ "There's candy! Hi!"

"Delicious!" comments Joey. "Yummy yum yum!"

"Come on, baby!" says Nikita sweetly, staring the Demon Dog down across the trap. "Oh, I'm gonna get the candy before you! I'm gonna get the candy before you!" She sounds like she's talking to a two-year-old.

As usual, Manny follows her lead. "I'm gonna get it!"

"It's so delicious!" says Joey. "It's peppermint! Your favorite!"

"It's so yummy!" coaxes Manny.

But no matter how much they cajole, lure, and plead, the Demon Dog refuses to take the bait, and the peppermint stays untouched in the trap. _Huh._ Manny furrows his brow. _This usually works. Why isn't it working now?_

"Oh." Joey facepalms. "A _human_ snack. It _literally_ means it needs a _human_ snack!"

 _Well, duh and dammit._ This isn't good. Matt's the Demon Dog Killer, and Joey's the Trap Mechanic, so that leaves Manny and Nikita as the Human Snacks. Manny's been called a snack in the past, but he never thought he'd actually have to _be_ one!

He sticks a toe into the trap. "Hi." Nikita's hand in his serves as both a comfort and a fear.

"Oh, shoot," says Matt.

The Demon Dog, unable to resist the temptation of two human morsels, launches himself at Manny and Nikita. The beauty guru pair jumps away, and the Demon Dog lands right in the trap.

"Go!" Matt shouts. "Get him! Get him!"

Joey pulls the rope. The Demon Dog ends up tangled in the trap's net. Now, it's up to Matt to finish the thing off once and for all.

 

Matt doesn't know what comes over him. Maybe it's rage. Maybe it's grief. Maybe it's a general feeling of doneness. Or maybe it's a combination of the three. Whatever it is, he finds himself charging towards the Demon Dog like a soldier attacking an enemy, wielding his iron rod, and letting loose a battle cry that shakes the sturdy homes of Everlock.

_You will_ never _hurt us again!_

He sinks the rod into the Demon Dog's chest. The creature writhes in pain, lets out one last pitiful roar, and expires.

All of Matt's bloodlust disappears the minute he registers what he's done. "I'm sorry!"

"Grab the ring!" orders a visibly surprised Nikita. "Grab the ring!"

"Don't _apologize_ to him!" gripes Joey.

Manny snaps out of his openmouthed shock in time to yell "Get it!"

Matt snatches the third ring from the Demon Dog's neck and hoists it into the air. "I got it!" he announces joyfully.

"Back to the church!" say multiple people at once, and everyone flees the scene of the crime.

 _Was that me?_ Matt can't look away from his own hands. _Did I really just kill that dog?_ "I feel so bad for it!" His cat, Skip, flashes across his mind, as do all the other lovable animals he's met over the years. "I do not support animal cruelty!"

Just as the YouTubers reach the church, Lucy shows up to see the corpse of her beloved Demon Dog. She falls to her knees. Fat tears drip out of her crazy eyes. "No!" She locks eyes with the group, allowing them to see two vengeful windows of pitch-black hate. "What have you done?"

Her reaction only makes Matt feel worse. _That dog was probably the only thing she ever loved,_ he thinks, _and I killed him._ He makes an effort to banish his remorse. _Look, Lucy, I already showed him some mercy by trying to feed him candy earlier, and he_ still _tried to kill me and my friends, so turnabout was fair play._ But all the excuses in the world don't change the fact that he now has a living creature's blood on his hands.

 

"She's pissed off," worries Joey. "We just killed her Demon Dog!" He's still recovering from Matt's sudden badassery, but _hey! We've only got one ring left! Maybe there will be a twist, and we can get it without anyone dying!_

"I don't blame her," says Matt.

"And we took away her new minion," points out Nikita. "Me."

Matt slumps against the door. "Might as well just put her out of her misery, then, huh?"

"She's having a _bad_ day." There's a hint of satisfaction in Nikita's voice, and knowing her ordeal under Lucy's control, Joey doesn't blame her.

"So we got the three rings," Matt gasps. "Now what?"

"We need one more ring," Joey reminds him.

Nikita points at the altar where she and Manny were handcuffed. A funny noise worms its way out of her mouth. This is soon followed by a "no" from Manny. Joey turns around, sees what they're looking at, and gasps.

"Wait, what?" asks Matt. "What do you see?"

Cards. _Their_ cards. The Detective, the Savant, the Record Producer, and the Troublemaker, all in a row. Dread crushes the remnants of Joey's heart.

There's a note. Manny sighs, says "omigod," and reads it.

_To claim the fourth ring, two must be selected by vote to beat Lucy at her own game. Be warned. You're nearing your final confrontation with the Carnival Master._

"Guys..." Joey's overwhelmed with despair. "I thought there was gonna be a twist."

"Told you," says Matt bitterly.

Joey looks from face to face. He remembers his list of the dead, and he chokes back tears at the understanding that one of his precious friends will soon become another murdered name. "I didn't think that this was gonna happen again..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: It happens again. Also, Joey falls back into old habits, Matt feels outnumbered, Nikita wants to punch everything, and Manny's misplaced something important.


	48. Star-Crossed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> La-de-da, time to vote again, everyone's depressed, and so am I!

"Discuss amongst yourselves, please," says Calliope.

Matt shakes his head, hopelessness flowing along with the blood in his veins. "Is there even a reason to discuss this privately? We all know we deserve to be here." He points at Manny and Nikita. "You two are never gonna vote against each other. Joey is the secret lynchpin." Teardrops mix with sweat on his face. "I know I'm going in, so it's really a question of who's coming with me."

The other three stare vacantly at him, as if they can't comprehend what he's saying, but he's not fooled. Manny and Nikita want him gone. They said so themselves. They don't think that they need him anymore. As for Joey, he might care more than Matt initially thought he did, but when push comes to shove, the Savant's not the type to put himself on the line. He will side with the beauty gurus, and Matt will go into the death challenge. It's simple logic. The odd man out is always the first to go.

 _Who should I vote for to save myself?_ He narrows his eyes at his companions. _Nikita's a born asskicker, so not her. Manny beat me before, but that was in a strength challenge, and he hasn't been doing so hot in challenges otherwise...but then again, he's done enough already, so maybe I should just let him be. There's also Joey, but I_ can't _vote for Joey! We need him! Oh, dear God, why is this always so hard?!?_

It occurs to him that this is the first time he's voted since his return. Neither Safiya nor Rosanna died because of their cards.

He's never missed them more.

 

"I don't know." Joey struggles to climb out of his premature grief. "This is so tough."

"I don't wanna be that person right now," admits Nikita.

 _"I don't have anything against you guys."_ The voice from Joey's past returns, stronger and louder than ever. _"I'm going to vote for myself."_

The answer becomes obvious. "How about we all just...vote for ourselves to go in?"

"Does increase _my_ odds," remarks Matt, "so..."

Manny glances around the room. "Same."

"I'm game," says Matt.

Joey turns to Nikita. "Should we go with that?" He's expecting her to say no. She's not the kind of girl who'd willingly risk her neck on something like this. If _any_ of them are going to destroy his plan, it's her.

But, much to his surprise, even she says "yeah" in a tiny yet decisive voice. So does Manny.

 _That settles it._ Joey clenches his jaw. _No more betrayals. No more blood on our hands. We are a team, and no matter who dies, they will die with the knowledge that we stood by them till the end._ "Calliope," he requests, "do you wanna just put one of each of our names in?"

"If that's what you wish," replies Calliope calmly.

Joey thinks of Justine, Lele, Liza, Gabbie, Alex, Colleen, Rosanna, and all the friends he's thrown away. "That's what we wish."

 

Nikita doesn't know why she's going along with this kumbaya bullcrap. The smart thing to do would be to flip Joey off, throw him and Matt into the challenge, and clear a path to life for herself and Manny. Why is she endangering her ass for group unity? Shouldn't she know better?

 _I_ do _know better._ She fixes her gaze on Calliope, and she doesn't even blink when their helper displays the Troublemaker card. _But knowing and doing are two different things. I guess I'm just sick of this game._

The Detective card is shown, followed by the Record Producer card. Manny nods, projecting acceptance, but Nikita can feel him tense up next to her. Finally, the Savant card joins the pile.

"This sucks," sighs Matt.

Calliope rattles off her usual "I will now shuffle and draw two" spiel without a smidgen of life in her tone.

Nikita looks up at the ceiling of the church. "Please," she prays, her hands moist with perspiration, "be on my side for _once!_ Come on!"

God does not reply.

 

"Omigod." Manny's hunched over, his hands glued to his knees, his stomach churning with a nauseous sort of dread. "Please, please, please, please..." _Don't let her pick me. Don't send me back there. I don't wanna be Everlock's test subject anymore._

"It is time," says Calliope. "Are you ready?"

_No._

"Yes," grumbles Joey.

"The first person going into the challenge is..."

_I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna be—_

"The Record Producer."

Manny's heart drops. That's that, then. They left it up to the cards, and just as he suspected, the cards' opinion is _"die, Manny, die!"_ He tries to think of something to say, or something to do, or some way to react, but all he can manage is another shaky nod and a silent scream at Everlock.

 

Nikita's beginning to regret her decision. Sure, it was the right thing to do, but now Manny's in hot water for the twelve billionth time in, like, five hours. Maybe something really _is_ after him. It would explain a lot.

"The second person going into the challenge is..."

 _Joey or Matt._ She crosses her fingers. _Manny can beat them. He won't die. It's gotta be Joey or Matt. Come on. Spit it out._

"The Troublemaker."

She can't breathe. Her role ricochets through her ears like a dysfunctional symphony. _No._ It takes all the strength she has to maintain her fracturing composure. _Not me. Not against Manny. Not again._ The handcuff around her wrist feels colder than ever, but since it connects her to him, she no longer wants to take it off. _Why can't this crazy town just leave us alone?_

"Again?" whimpers Joey. "No...no..."

"Omigod!" Manny yells at the rickety ceiling.

Nikita knows that there's no way in hell that they both come back from this, and it boils her blood as much as it breaks her heart. She wishes that she could find whatever stroke of fate controls the cards, beat it to a pulp, and punch everything it loves. It deserves nothing less.

 

 _Of course._ Manny's system buzzes with anger, terror, despair, and resignation. _Of course, out of the four of us, me and Nikita got pulled._ Going up against his girl was practically _torture_ the first time around, and now, he has to endure the pain of battling her _all_ over again...only this time, there probably won't be a miracle to bail them out. Either _he_ will die in Everlock, or _she_ will.

He honestly can't decide which option's worse.

"Come." Calliope puts down her awful cards. "I will lead you to the challenge." She gestures to Matt and Joey. "You guys come as well to observe."

As the group follows her outside, Manny's free hand fumbles through his pocket, pushing past several leftover peppermints in a search for his gloss. _It's here, right? It's usually here._ He lets each piece of candy fall to the ground, creating a _Hansel and Gretel_ trail behind him. _No...no...no...where the hell_ is _it?_

But even when his pocket is completely sugar-free, his lucky lip gloss is nowhere to be found.

 _I must've lost it somewhere in the middle of all the Demon Dog crap,_ he realizes with a panicked jolt. _Does that mean—_

No. It's nothing. It's just a tube he got off a brand deal. He has dozens like it at home. _God,_ he's _such_ a dumb bitch to freak out over something so _stupid_ when he's about to be permanently separated from his best friend.

Nikita's hand slips into his. Their fingers intertwine. She smiles mournfully at him, and he compels himself to smile back.

_"We're in this together."_

Their promise is their only comfort in their darkest hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Manny and Nikita...well, you know the drill. It's a death challenge. One of them dies. For real this time. I'm going to drive myself crazy one of these days.


	49. That Which You Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikita and Manny. Best friends forever. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just get this over with.

Nikita's fought through this terrible night with two important goals in her heart: to protect herself, and to protect Manny. She was _so_ close to achieving both those goals. Why is _now_ the time when it all falls apart? Why can't she and Manny keep their promise? Why does this town hate them so goddamn much?

 _I'm not gonna cry._ Her right hand becomes a fist, while her left hand tightens its desperate grasp on Manny's right hand. _I'm gonna win, like I always do, and if I can't save him this time, I'm gonna make that crazy bitch_ burn _for taking him away from me._

They walk into the tent, where they are immediately confronted by Lucy being herself. She cackles like a mad dog as she holds a delirious Mortimer at stickpoint, and when she sees the group, she sticks her tongue out at them. "Bwaa!" Flicks of spit fly like bugs from her open mouth.

"Omigod..." The reminder of her role in Mortimer's downfall causes Nikita to wince.

Manny wrinkles his nose. "Omigod!"

"Mortimer!" Matt shouts.

"Oh, gosh," says Joey. "Are you okay?"

Calliope's eyes widen slightly. "Are you okay?"

He's not. There's a black mark at the center of his chest, and honestly, it looks too evil to just be a regrettable tattoo. "Um, something's wrong with his chest," Nikita points out. _Did Lucy do that? Did_ I _do that? Or was that there all along?_

"Why is his heart, like, so messed up?" Manny wants to know.

As soon as Lucy lets go of Mortimer, he flops over like a rag doll. Nikita can't shake the feeling that they're too late to save him.

Lucy skips over to the YouTubers, makes a weird noise, pats her boobs, and wags her tongue at Manny. "Hi," squeaks the Record Producer, who's clearly hiding his disgust behind a nervous grin. He raises his cuffed hand. Lucy licks her lips.

"Girl..." _Touch him, bitch, and I'll chop your vagina off with the rustiest chainsaw I can find!_ "Do you have the key to this?" Nikita shows Lucy their shared handcuff. "Mama?" She wants to give her former slaver a one-two punch in the face, but maybe, if they're _nice_ to the psychopath, their odds for survival will improve. It's worth a shot.

As it turns out, Lucy _does_ have the key, and she reluctantly frees Nikita and Manny. Nikita can't even stand to feel grateful for it. _This isn't fair,_ her spirit sobs. _We're a team. We've come_ so _far. We should've made it._ Her knees wobble, but she remains upright. _I'm so sorry, Manny._

 

"Mortimer, what's that on your chest?" asks Matt.

"Please," Mortimer begs, "let's just get this over with. Please." He hands a note to Nikita.

 _He looks like hell._ An image of Lucy's strange orgy pops into Joey's head, and he shudders. _Poor guy. We really should've gone back for him. I hope we can still get him away from her once all is said and done._

"Okay, Mortimer," says Nikita, "you need to chill or something."

Joey knows when he's not needed. "Let's go over here," he says to Matt and Calliope before all three of them head off to sit in a nearby clump of green chairs at the edge of the ring.

"Mortimer's gun is missing," Matt notes, more to himself than to anyone else.

"Yes," replies Calliope solemnly. "Lucy must've taken it. Not that it would've done any good against her anyway."

This is going to be hard to watch. Manny and Nikita are _literally_ two of Joey's closest friends, so he has _no_ idea who he wants to win. On the bright side, at least he doesn't have to be anyone's partner this time, so there's that.

 

Manny's been here before. This is where the arm wrestling competition happened. This is where he was crowned the strongest bitch in the group. Now, no matter what happens, the site of his greatest triumph of the night will also become the site of his greatest tragedy. How freakin' ironic.

He and Nikita read their instructions the same way they do everything else—together.

_There are nine boxes and nine keys among the pool. One box holds salvation. Pop your balloon to be free of your straitjacket. Find the right key before your friend, or this might be your end._

"Wait." Manny frowns. "We have to wear straitjackets?" He focuses on the questionable fashion choice to distract himself from what he's about to do to Nikita.

Lucy already has two white straitjackets in her arms. "Of _course_ you do! Straitjackets are for crazies, aren't they? And by the time you're outta here, you'll be just as crazy as me...if you're not _dead,_ that is!" She laughs like a supervillain who's about to complete an evil plan.

A quick glance around the tent reveals that it's now a total disaster area. The center ring is filled with popcorn, ribbons, giant bouncy balls, huge boxes, and the balloons mentioned in the note. Next to it are several benches, each one with multiple silver boxes on it. To top it all off, there's glitter all over the place. Manny hasn't seen such a mess since that one time he accidentally trashed his own room during the aftermath of a particularly wild night at the club.

The gurus are tied into their straitjackets. Manny's is a snug fit around his broad shoulders; it feels like the world's tightest, harshest hug. Also, it's _ugly._ Dirty white does _not_ go well with dark green. He's never felt less stylish in his life.

"All right, guys," Joey calls out as the competitors take their marks, "good luck!"

Nikita's face is unreadable.

Manny grits his teeth. _Okay, Manny,_ he lectures his heart, _I know Nikita's your girl, and you love her, and you don't wanna lose her, but Lucy is_ literally _gonna kill you if you don't find the right key. It's you or Nikita. She said to put yourself before everyone else, including her, so she'll understand if you don't hold anything back._ His hands shake inside his straitjacket. He pushes his memories of her to the bottom of his aching mind. _She loves you too. She wants you to live. Worry about her later, but for now, just stay alive!_

Maybe Lucy's right. Maybe he really _is_ going insane.

 

Matt's not a petty person. He doesn't take joy in the misfortunes of other people, even if they are people he doesn't like, and he _certainly_ doesn't rub those people's troubles in their face. But there are times when he's been known to enjoy a _little_ bit of karma. This is one of those times.

"Before we start the challenge..." He reaches into the center ring and scoops out a few handfuls of popcorn.

Joey sounds offended. _"Matt!"_

 _What? It's not like they care. They said Safiya deserved to die, they weren't all that remorseful about Ro, and they were ready to throw me to my death at a moment's notice. Now that it's them instead of me, I might as well just kick back, eat some popcorn, and watch the festivities._ "Can you mess up the popcorn?" _It's not that I want them to die. It's just that they need a taste of their own medicine._

"Are you _kidding_ me?" snaps Joey.

Matt offers some popcorn to Calliope (she rejects it), then sneaks a peek at Manny and Nikita. He's not expecting them to be upset by his popcorn antics, since they've both made it clear that they don't care about him, but as it turns out, he's a little more wrong than he thought he'd be. Nikita lets out a disgruntled "omigod" that has an undertone of crestfallen anger to it, and Manny looks like he's been punched. _I guess their medicine was too bitter for their liking._

But despite his sort-of-revenge-but-not-really, Matt _does_ feel sorry for Manny and Nikita, and he still considers them his friends, even if they don't. "Good luck, guys!" Then, because Manny needs all the luck he can get, "Slightly better luck to Manny!"

Manny's ears redden, but otherwise, Matt's well-wishes go unacknowledged.

 _Well,_ thinks Matt as he pops some popcorn into his mouth, _let's see how this goes._

 

Matt's maddening mixed signals aside, it all comes down to this. No Hail Marys. No second chances. Not even an opportunity for Manny to give his best friend a final hug. All he can do is turn off his feelings and focus on surviving Lucy's hell.

_Goodbye, Nikita. I'll miss you._

"Go!" hollers Lucy.

Manny and Nikita charge into the ring. Because their arms are tied down by their straitjackets, they can only use their feet to pop the blue and pink balloons that litter the area. Manny crashes through popcorn kernels, smashes balloons underneath his shoes, and tries not to think about anything (least of all Nikita).

"Come on, guys! Good luck!" yells Joey.

"Go for it!" Matt shouts. "Go fast! Go fast!"

Joey leans forward to get a better view. "Come on! Pop them! Pop them!"

By the time Manny slips into the right mindset, he's already popped his five balloons. "Five," he declares.

Nikita's also finished. "Five! I got my five!" She turns to Lucy. "Unlock me!"

"Come on, Manny!" cheers Matt through a mouthful of popcorn. "Wow! They are deadlocked!"

 _Gotta get out._ Manny runs to Mortimer, who helps him undo the restrictive latches on his straitjacket. _Okay. Got my arms back. So far, so good. What's next? Right. The key. Find the right key._

"Come _on!"_ Nikita groans as Lucy frees her from the confines of her straitjacket.

"You can do it, you guys!" calls Calliope. "Come on!"

Soon, both Manny and Nikita are back in the game. Manny throws himself into a pile of popcorn, and its powerful smell hits his nose like a freight train. _Why the hell is all this popcorn necessary?_ he wonders. _Did Lucy break the popcorn machine? I think she broke the popcorn machine._

In the peanut gallery, Joey presses his hands together. "Come on, Nikita! Manny!"

"Find those keys!" says Matt, but since he's chewing, his encouragement comes out as a garbled mess. "This is really exciting," he comments to Joey. "I've never seen a challenge before."

Manny finds his first key right away. _Thank God!_ He runs for the nine boxes without looking back. "Come on. Come on."

 

Nikita pushes popcorn around like she's a human popcorn plow, but she's yet to find a single key. "I don't see anything." _He's already found one. If that's the one he needs, I'm dead!_ She thinks of Manny as a generic "he" instead of "Manny" to make things easier on her wounded heart.

"Look under things," advises Matt. "Move the balls out of the way."

"Okay." Nikita doesn't know why Matt's acting like her armchair quarterback all of a sudden, but whatever. She'll go with it. She shoves one of the giant balls away from her, and it crashes into the edge of the ring, sending popcorn kernels everywhere. "I literally can't—"

Matt keeps talking. "Tread slowly. Don't necessarily throw it out of the way, cause you don't want the key to get thrown away with the popcorn."

_Got it. Thanks._

 

After two or three failures, Manny _finally_ opens the box that goes with his key, only to find nothing there but hay. _Ugh!_ He scrunches up his expression into a frightened scowl. _So close, yet so damn far!_

Nikita's still looking for keys. Manny reenters the ring, walks up to her, and kicks a hailstorm of popcorn in her face.

"Ah!" She scrambles for cover. "Manny, _stop!"_

Her startled cry is _almost_ enough to yank him out of his competitive haze, but not quite. "I'm sorry, Nikita." He suppresses his love for her beneath the recollection of his near-death in the Funhouse. "I lost to you once. I'm not losing to you again."

 

For the first time in a long time, Nikita feels a surge of anger towards Manny. "You're not gonna _play_ this game with me!" she spits, throwing an armful of ribbons at her friend. _What the hell is wrong with you, bitch? Did you_ really _just..._ She falters. Her outrage dissipates. _...do what I would've done. Omigod. You really_ are _like me now._

She shoves Manny out of her brain _(I don't feel a thing)_ in order to resume her search for the keys. Two minutes later, she's just as empty-handed as she was at the start of the challenge, and she never wants to look at, smell, taste, or even _touch_ popcorn ever again.

"Omigosh, this is _literally_ like finding a needle in a haystack right now," rambles Joey, "but it's a cornstack."

Matt points at Manny. "Wait. Wait. You found something."

"Omigod," breathes Manny, and for good reason; he's just recovered his second key. Nikita's heart sinks.

"Oooh!" cackles Lucy. "Let's see what happens!"

In this moment, Nikita is _so_ close to giving up. After all, Manny's effortlessly flying through the keys, to the point where he's found _two_ before she's even found _one._ Why keep looking? Maybe it would be better to just let her boy take the win. She'd lose, yeah, and losing means death, but ensuring his survival would still be its own type of victory.

 _No. I can't._ She shakes her head and redoubles her efforts. _I've come too far to just lie down and die._

 

Manny's second box is _also_ filled with hay. _Goddangit!_ He flings the hay into the air. It floats down in golden stalks as he stomps back to the center ring. _How is this happening?_

"Another one!" Lucy sneers. She follows this up with a babyish noise that is _not_ helping the situation.

"Nothing?" Matt eats some more popcorn. "We'll be here until the Carnival Master wakes up."

"I _know,"_ grumbles Joey.

This is by _far_ Manny's least favorite death challenge of the bunch. At least the strength challenge, the Funhouse challenge, and the witches' challenge were all based on skill. _This_ bullshit is just pure randomness. Sure, it fits, since Lucy's got more than a few screws loose in her head, but that doesn't make it any less infuriating.

 

Nikita's fingers brush against an object that is _definitely_ not popcorn. "Oh." She takes it. "I found something."

Matt perks up. "Really?"

It's a key. "Okay. One." Nikita runs straight to the boxes, her heart bursting with relief. _All I need is one key,_ she reminds herself. _If this is the right one, the game's over, and I win._ The prospect is encouraging and frightening all at once.

"No way!" gasps Matt.

"Good luck," says Joey.

Manny mutters something under his breath.

Unfortunately, Nikita has _barely_ any room to pinch, and she has to unlock a tiny little damn lock with a tiny little damn key. "Oh, God, this is a small, tiny-ass little key," she complains, squinting at the box so that she can see what she's doing. _If I break a nail doing this, I'm_ not _gonna be happy._

Inside the box is a bunch of hay.

"Come _on,_ you guys!" whines Lucy in the tone of a bratty teenager.

 _Oh, I'm sorry,_ growls Nikita's exasperation. _Are we boring you? Or are you just mad cause you don't get to kill anyone yet?_ "Nothing." _Go to hell, bitch._

 

There are six keys left in play. If Manny's going to find the one that'll get him out of here, he needs to take advantage of the one thing he's good at besides makeup. _I'm strong._ He grabs one of the giant boxes, lifts it into the air, and moves it safely out of the way. _I proved it here before. I'll prove it again._

"Oh, Manny!" gushes Lucy. "So _strong,_ Manny!"

 _"There's_ that Strong Man!" Matt exclaims.

Even Joey is impressed. "Manny the Strong Man!"

Manny would _love_ to bask in their compliments, but sadly, he doesn't have time. Instead, he throws up everything around him.

"Ooh, good idea, Manny!" remarks Joey. "That's a good idea!"

Lucy apparently thinks that now is a good time to show off her panties to everyone in the tent. "Whoa, whoa." Matt puts up a hand to shield his eyes. "Hey."

"I found one, I found one," announces Nikita.

 _Nikita?_ It's getting harder and harder for Manny not to feel for her. _I wish we could...oh, dammit, Manny, stop it! Focus! Live!_

In no time flat, he, too, has a key, and he joins Nikita at the boxes. The phrase _we're in this together_ floats through his soul like a passing breeze, but that old promise seems like an fantasy now. His eyes well up with tears.

 

 _Please, just let this be over,_ weeps the depths of Nikita's despair as she gets to work on her new box. _I don't know what's happening, but please, end this game!_

"Ooh!" Lucy jumps up and down. "Who's it gonna be?"

"Who's it gonna be?" Joey repeats in a terrified voice.

Matt's hands are in a praying position. "I don't know."

"I got one," whispers Nikita. "Okay." She and Manny open their boxes at the exact same time. This time, instead of some stupid hay, she finds a bag with a...gun? _What do I need a gun for? And why is it pink?_

Oh, goody. There's a note.

_Kill yourself or kill your friend to claim the ring. You decide how this ends._

Nikita's world spins off its axis. She blinks once, twice, three times, but the awful black words refuse to disappear from their place on the scratchy paper. _I decide?_ Her head is burning. _I have to kill myself...or else..._ A herd of torturous emotions storms across her heart, leaving jagged shards behind. _I have to kill Manny?_

Lucy cheers like a drunk sports fan.

"Wait." Matt drops his popcorn. "She gets to decide?"

"Omigod," says Joey, because "omigod" is all that's left to say.

The gun is small, and yet, it's a thousand pounds of bright pink death in Nikita's trembling hands. _Don't make me do this,_ she pleads to the heavens. _Kill us any other way. Burn us. Drown us. Skin us alive. Just please...don't make me do this..._

Manny's rooted to the spot, his lipstick-coated mouth unhinged, his watery hazel eyes unable to look away from Nikita's face. He seems smaller than Rosanna in his oversized straitjacket. It's almost like he's forgotten how to function.

Lucy's laughter echoes throughout the tent.

Matt springs to his feet. "Wait, she has to shoot him?"

Nikita looks from the gun to Manny and back again. "Manny..." _This isn't happening. It's a vision. A dream. I'm still brainwashed. Lucy's showing me this to scare me. It can't be real._ But her lies fall apart as soon as they're constructed, leaving her with an indisputable, _horrible_ reality.

"Nikita, no," Manny whimpers. "Nikita..."

Time stands still. Nikita gazes through tear-clogged eyes at her strong, kind, beautiful, badass, _perfect_ partner in crime, who's stood by her side all this time, who understands why she stays cold, who loves her more than a Troublemaker such as her deserves. She'd fight an army to protect him. She'd set Everlock ablaze in a fiery inferno and kill its entire population if it meant he'd survive. She'd do _anything_ for him...

...except die. She _cannot_ die. Not even to save Manny. In a way, she made her choice long ago.

She points the gun at her best friend's chest. "Manny, I love you," she murmurs, as if her love is enough to excuse the crime she's about to commit.

 

Manny tries not to let his heart break. _She wouldn't,_ he assures himself as he stares down the barrel of Nikita's gun. _She couldn't! She loves me! She won't hurt me! Not after she said we'd get out of here together!_

"Manny, I love you," she says a second time, and he clings to her words as proof that everything's going to be all right.

But she still hasn't lowered her gun.

"No." The very real possibility that his best friend might _actually_ kill him creeps into his mind like a deadly virus. "You're not gonna shoot me. You're not gonna shoot me." _Nikita, look! It's me! It's Manny! I'm your friend!_ He could accept death at the hands of _literally_ anyone else, but not Nikita. Not his girl. _She won't do it. She won't!_

"Manny, I love you!"

_She won’t—_

She does.

Bullet after bullet after bullet rips through his body as if he's made of flimsy tissue paper. _Nikita…_ It hurts in a thousand different ways. _…why…I love you…why'd you…?_

He's gone before he realizes why.

 

Nikita repeatedly pulls the trigger, her eyes closed, her heart pounding, her body gripped in a fight-or-flight reaction. _Go to sleep,_ is all that passes through her petrified brain. _Go to sleep, Manny, you'll be okay, just go to sleep and dream of something nice..._

It isn't until the gun runs out of bullets that the magnitude of what she's done overwhelms her.

 _"No!"_ Matt's scream is the first thing that she comprehends upon reopening her eyes and ears. "You _shot_ him? You _shot_ him!"

_I...shot him..._

Manny Mua lies with his face in the dirt, wrapped in his chalk-colored straitjacket, stained with blood from six bullet wounds directly to his chest. His corpse looks like a crime scene out of an episode of _Law and Order,_ except without the trained detectives looking for his killer...because _that's me. I'm his killer. I told him I love him, and then I killed him. What kind of a cold-hearted bitch_ am _I to gun my best friend down?_

She drops the gun. She cries for the first time since Manny's close call in the Funhouse. Why couldn't _that_ have been his death? Why this? Why now? Why _her?_

Lucy, damn her, won't stop laughing.

A glass compartment opens, revealing the fourth and last ring. "Wait! Hold up!" Matt fetches it. "It's the final ring! Mortimer, go! Take it! Take it!"

"Hurry," grunts Mortimer. "Hurry."

Nikita sways in place. She shuts her eyes once more, seeking out her usual it-doesn't-matter-don't-feel-just-move-on bullshit, but she can't see past the shocked betrayal on Manny's frightened face _("full face of makeup,"_ he informed her twelve hours ago with a giggle of pride, _"because if I'm going to save a town, I might as well rock a look while doing it!")_ as she held him at gunpoint instead of in her arms. _He hates me now,_ she thinks. _The murdered hate their murderers. They haunt them in the night. They drive them mad._ The thought of Manny haunting her is surprisingly preferable to the thought of never seeing him again.

She pries her sobbing eyes back open in time to see Lucy disintegrate. "It wasn't supposed to go like this!" the demented redhead shrieks. "Oh, you're _all_ gonna die now! You can't...stop...my dad..."

Even the death of the woman who forced her through this hell isn't enough to put Nikita back together. She hyperventilates, clutches the empty gun bag, and struggles to choke words past her throat. "I..."

Matt practically soars to her side. "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay..."

"We have to go." Joey wraps an arm around her quaking shoulders. "We have to go."

"I murdered him!" Nikita wails. _Why are you being so nice? Didn't you see what I just did? Aren't you scared of me?_

"Mortimer," yells Matt, "come on!" He rushes everyone out of the tent, keeping his comforting focus glued to Nikita. "You're okay."

Nikita takes off her straitjacket and throws it against the dusty ground.

"You did what you had to do," Matt insists, his hand on Nikita's back. "It's fine. Don't worry about it."

He's a liar. He has good intentions, but he's a liar nonetheless. It's _not_ fine. Nothing in the universe can _ever_ make it fine. Although Nikita's sense of logic agrees that she did what had to be done, she knows the truth; she's blown half a dozen holes through her own heart.

 

 _My fault,_ decides Joey (because at this point, he's so used to blaming himself that he doesn't know how else to cope with his spiral of tragedy). If he hadn't invited everyone here to help save Everlock, Manny would be safe at home in the modern world. Same with Rosanna, Safiya, Colleen, Teala, Roi, Jc...and that's just _tonight._ There's more blood on Joey's shoulders than there's water in the sea.

He sighs. _Well, on the glass-half-full side of things, this is the last artifact. We've cleansed all eight of them. We just gotta defeat the Carnival Master, and then we can go home._

"Mortimer!" shouts Calliope out of the blue. "What are you doing?"

Joey stops in his tracks. "What?" _Oh, no. Not another plot development._

Calliope points. "He has the Collar!"

Sure enough, Mortimer is in the process of sneaking away with the Collar of Control. _No!_ "He has the last artifact!" _That's not where he's supposed to go! He's supposed to bring the Collar back to the lounge with us!_ "What are you doing?"

Mortimer takes off towards the church. Everyone sprints after him. They run, because in a town like this, what else is there to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Manny. As one of my friends likes to say, you were a sassy bitch with a heart of gold. I'm sorry Nikita had to end your life. She really did love you.  
> Next chapter: You thought the pain was over? You fools. You poor, deluded fools.


	50. Hell Is Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The worst happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Chapter Fifty! That makes, what, 160 chapters of Escape the Night overall so far? Dang! Thanks for all the support!

"What the hell?"

"Mortimer!"

"Open up! _Now!"_

The remnants of Joey's once-large group burst through the church doors to find Mortimer with the Collar of Control in his grasp. "Stop!" The rogue helper speaks in a clear but dangerous tone. His gun (which he must've retrieved from the tent along with his brown jacket) sits on his hip as a silent warning. "Don't come any closer."

Joey blinks. "What are you doing?" _Why are their spirals in your eyes?_

"I'm freeing Nicholas," replies Mortimer.

 _Nicholas?_ Joey doesn't know anyone by that name. _Who's Nicholas? Is he..._ His stomach drops into his lower intestine when he realizes the awful meaning of Mortimer's statement.

Calliope steps forward and holds out a hand to Mortimer. "It's the evil inside you talking."

Joey frantically looks around the church. "Omigod!" he screams. "The artifacts!" They're _all_ here. The Jack-Is-Dead-In-The-Box that led to Jc's death...the Serpent's Eyes that they lost Roi to obtain...the Statue of Era that cost them Teala...the Demonic Configuration that temporarily took Matt away from them...the Night Killer's Doll that required the murder of Colleen...the Psychedelic Swirl that's responsible for the loss of Safiya...the Wicker Man that snuffed out Rosanna's light...all of them are on platforms around the room, ready to be used. Mortimer stands over the final platform, his whole body shaking as he holds the Collar of Control that practically killed Manny, and Joey feels a surge of terrified anger at the thought that his lost friends might've died for nothing.

Matt seems to be thinking the same thing. "All the artifacts are in here!"

 _"Don't_ tell me what to do!" Mortimer yells ferociously.

Calliope's hand trembles. "Please." She sounds as stoic as ever, but there's an undertone of urgent desperation in her request.

Mortimer shakes his head. "It's already done."

 _Carnival Master corrupted one of you._ The familiar message bowls Joey over in an avalanche of regret. _It was Mortimer._ He feels sick at the sight of how far their beloved assistant has fallen. _It was Mortimer all along._

Why is he surprised? Isn't this what _always_ happens?

"Mortimer, no!" Nikita cries.

"Wait!" shouts Matt. "No! No!"

But it's too late. Mortimer places the Collar on its platform. The Collar glows with a sickly yellow color, and one by one, the other seven artifacts light up in a similar fashion. The Carnival Master's amber prison flashes, sparks, cracks, and shatters. The YouTubers scream. Joey grabs his friends' hands in a last-ditch attempt to protect them from the hell that's just been unleashed.

Out steps a demonic figure straight from Joey's dreams.

"It's him," the Savant rasps. "Omigod."

Matt's eyes grow wide behind his glasses. _"That's_ the Carnival Master?"

"Omigod," stammers Nikita.

The Carnival Master has a stony face, a pair of curly horns, a wild mane, a thick red coat, and a giant blue crystal at the center of his chest. The crystal calls to Joey. He can feel a shred of hope twisting its way around his broken heart.

_"But," the blonde woman continues, "your friends will need to die."_

_Joey tells himself to be strong. He tells himself that it's better to accept his fate than it is to condemn a new crop of guests to the hell he's endured twice. He tells himself that if he says no, he'll see his fallen friends again. But before he can refuse the deal, the woman sweetens the terms._

_"The Carnival Master has a crystal that can bring those you've lost in the past back to life."_

_It's an offer that he can't refuse._

Mortimer bows to the Carnival Master. "I've done all that you asked."

"Come," orders the Carnival Master in a deep voice, spreading his arms as wide as they can go.

"Mortimer," begs Nikita, "stop!"

Matt looks devastated. "Mortimer..."

Despite the YouTubers' pleas, Mortimer walks towards the Carnival Master like a puppet being guided by a set of invisible strings. Joey's soul burns with white-hot anger at both the Carnival Master _and_ his new slave.

"Turn around," is the Carnival Master's next command.

 _"Traitor,"_ Joey spits.

Nikita exclaims "we _trusted_ you" as if her anger can hide the pain and guilt that cracks her otherwise fierce voice.

Mortimer does as he's told. The Carnival Master waves his powerful hands in front of his servant's face and slowly traps him in an inescapable headlock, deepening whatever magic spell corrupted the young man in the first place. "You are _so_ easily manipulated," the Carnival Master croons as Mortimer's spiraled eyes spin into pure red. "Just like your mother!"

"Mortimer, resist it!" screams Matt. "Mortimer! No!"

Calliope lunges forward and snatches her counterpart's gun from his hip. Seconds later, the Carnival Master snaps Mortimer's neck, and the helper-turned-traitor crumples into a lifeless heap on the church floor.

 _Omigod._ Joey's mouth drops open. _Mortimer's dead._ Yes, the man betrayed them, but something inside the depths of Joey's heart still feels a pang of sadness at this latest loss.

But Calliope doesn't stop to grieve. She shoots a barrage of bullets at the Carnival Master, her lips pressed into a thin line of dogged determination, and even the fact that none of them make a dent in the monster's body does nothing to dissuade her assault. For a moment, Joey lets himself believe that she will save the day. "Get him!" he hears himself shout. "Get him!"

"You got this!" cheers Nikita.

As soon as she's out of bullets, Calliope attempts to stab the Carnival Master with Mortimer's gun. It bounces harmlessly against his chest.

"Come on!" yells Matt. "Aim for the head!"

Unfortunately, before Calliope can attack again, the Carnival Master seizes her and begins to viciously squeeze her windpipe. "Don't think so, little lady," he sneers, pinning her against the nearest wall. "Perhaps you did not think I prepared for this?"

Joey knows that she's about to die, that there's no saving her now, but the scream of "Let her go!" that rips its way out of his mouth is completely involuntary. _Not Calliope...please, no...she's done_ so _much for us...this isn't right...she shouldn't die like this..._

Calliope tries to speak, perhaps to give one last piece of advice to the hysterical YouTubers, but only strangled wheezing noises come out. The Carnival Master finishes her off, and her body falls to the floor next to Mortimer's.

_"No!"_

Joey, Matt, and Nikita are alone in Everlock.

_Shane Dawson, poisoned. Andrea Brooks, gassed to death. Justine Ezarik, buried alive. GloZell Green, killed by a murder journal._

"I can smell the stenches of society all over you," their enemy snarls, staring at the three survivors with a look of utter disgust on his face. "They called you into a war that's not yours, and now, you're gonna pay for it with your lives." His unspoken afterthought rings in Joey's head: _just like all your friends._

_Sierra Furtado, died during an exorcism. Matt Haag, poisoned. Timothy DeLaGhetto, shot himself. Lele Pons, electrocuted._

The Carnival Master flashes a sinister grin at them. "But don't worry. I have some very special friends who are gonna come visit you."

"Who?" asks Matt softly.

"No," Nikita gulps. "Omigod. Omigod."

_Lauren Riihimaki, eaten by vampires. Jesse Wellens, eaten by Jorogumo. DeStorm Power, shot with an arrow. Liza Koshy, throat slit._

The crystal at the center of the Carnival Master's chest glows, and his hellish eyes become bright blue. The eight artifacts glow once more.

Matt flinches. "What's going on?"

"What's happening?" gasps Nikita. "What's happening? What's happening?"

_Tana Mongeau, stomach sliced open. Gabbie Hanna, heart ripped out. Alison, torn apart by werewolves. Alex Wassabi, stabbed to death._

Joey can't take his eyes off the crystal. "I don't know," he whimpers. "I don't know what's happening."

"The artifacts are glowing," notices Matt. "Why are the artifacts glowing?"

_Jc Caylen, stabbed to death. Roi Fabito, poisoned by the Snake Woman. Teala Dunn, strangled. Colleen Ballinger, impaled by the Maiden of Madness._

Matt spots the danger first. "Wait." He points at the window. "There are people coming out of the cemetery."

"People" is a generous word to describe the horrors that approach them. They have stone-gray skin, raggedy clothes, unkempt hair, and bloodthirsty dispositions. _Zombies._ Joey's blood runs cold. _The dead are here to kill us._ He wonders if that includes anyone they used to know.

_Safiya Nygaard, fishhooked. Rosanna Pansino, stabbed to death. Manny Mua, shot to death. Mortimer, neck snapped. Calliope, strangled._

The zombies charge into the church. The YouTubers make a run for it. As they flee, Joey's list of the dead mingles ominously with the Carnival Master's parting words. 

"I'm going to enjoy _tearing you apart!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Mortimer and Calliope, the best helpers this show has ever had.  
> Next chapter: Joey, Matt, and Nikita have one last chance to stop the Carnival Master. Can they do it? Also, zombies.


	51. Dead Men Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three surviving Youtubers somehow end up in an episode of _The Walking Dead._ Can they end this nightmare once and for all? Or are they doomed to become zombie chow?

As he and his remaining friends run from the pack of zombies, Matt's head spins with the madness of everything that just went down. _Calliope's dead. Mortimer's dead. Manny's dead. I'm supposed to be dead. The Carnival Master is free from his prison._ He wants to cry. _We're all doomed now, aren't we?_

No. He _can't_ think like that. If he gives up now, it would be an insult to everyone who died to get him this far.

"Hurry!" He pumps his arms and legs in a frenzied sprint. "They're right behind us! Go! _Go!"_

By some miracle, he, Nikita, and Joey make it back to the lounge without losing anyone to the undead. "Board the doors," says Nikita, her voice not as bold and brash as it used to be. "Board the doors."

Matt stumbles to help his friends grab the board. "Board the doors! Get it! Go!"

"Omigod, that's strong," comments Nikita.

The three surviving YouTubers barricade themselves into the lounge. Outside, a horde of zombies bang on every wall and window that their decaying hands can find. Calliope, Mortimer, Manny, Rosanna, Safiya, Colleen, Teala, Roi, and Jc stampede across Matt's mind. "They're _all_ dead," he cries. A modern song rings in his ears: _all my friends are dead, push me to the edge, all my friends are dead..._

He wants them back. He wants to return to how it was this morning, before he got acquainted with the Grim Reaper.

"I don't know what happened," Joey admits. "He just literally brought the dead back to life."

_What if Ro's among the zombies?_

Matt shoos away the possibility. "Map." He wanders towards the map on the wall. "We always gotta start with the map, right?"

 

 _It exists_ is the only thought that's keeping Joey afloat right now. _The crystal exists. Since it exists, I can still save my friends. I just gotta defeat the Carnival Master first._ He's brought down an evil butler and a Sorceress before. Why should this latest quest be any different?

_Because you're a failure, because you're a monster, because you killed them all..._

_Man,_ it would be nice if Joey's demons would shut the hell up.

He points at the map. "A tree stump?"

"Can you pull this off?" Nikita answers her own question by tugging the map off the wall. "Come on."

"What is a tree stump gonna help us with?" Joey has to ask.

Nikita carries the map away. "Wait, wait, wait," she grumbles. "On the back. On the mothereffing back."

"Really?" questions Matt.

"On the back of this," says Nikita as she lays the map facedown on the table. "Hold up."

The back of the map features a picture of the blonde woman and the Asian man from the World Between Worlds. This prompts an "oh!" of recognition from Matt, who reads what's written underneath the picture.

_We were slaughtered by the Carnival Master because we didn't know his secret. He stole the Life Stones and placed his essence inside them. While they exist, he cannot be killed. You must find them, and with the power of the cleansed artifacts, destroy him. The first Life Stone lies in the heart of a tree long past._

Joey wishes that he could've been told about the Life Stones _before_ his friends were killed.

 

Freakin' Life Stones. Freakin' zombies. It's always _something,_ isn't it? Nikita's been running around Everlock all night _(murderer)_ , trying to find all sorts of dumb things _(murderer)_ , and now she has to find some _more_ to finally get out of here? How is this fair? _(You shot him, you killed him, murderer, murderer, MURDERER!)_

"Tree stump," says Matt. "The stump."

Nikita nods. "It's the stump. Okay." The problem is, there are a horde of zombies between here and the stump, _and one of them might be Manny, wouldn't that be ironic, imagine if he got me like I got him..._

She feels like she's insane.

_Be careful of his undead minions. If you're captured, you'll be taken to the cemetery, where you must be rescued by two of your friends who need to lay their hands on the mausoleum. If you have not been freed in five minutes, the undead will feast on your flesh._

"If one of us gets captured, no matter what, we have to get the other one back," says Joey quietly.

"I agree." Nikita puts her hand on the table, and she doesn't even flinch when Matt and Joey do the same. "One hundred percent. We're in this together." The familiar words taste like the dregs of a drink from Fat Man Slims.

Matt nods. "We've lost too many people tonight."

"We're in this together," repeats Nikita, as if she's talking to Manny again, as if she hasn't yet broken their promise...or, maybe, she's making a new promise on top of the pieces of the old one. Who even knows anymore?

"Ready?" Matt looks from Joey to Nikita and back again. "We'll do it on three."

So they make a tower of hands, and they chant "one, two, three, _together,"_ and Nikita prays to Jesus Christ that this time, together will last.

 

Before the group starts their Life Stone quest, Matt lingers at the card table and brushes his fingers against the plastic faces of his friends. There once were ten cards here. Now, there are four, and there shouldn't even be _that_ many.

 _Calliope..._ He thinks of the mystical woman who kept the group alive, and his heart aches. _She died before she could put Manny's card away._ It's such a silly thing to take note of, but it seems _wrong,_ somehow, that Calliope isn't here to help them through the grieving process this time.

_It hurt her too, didn't it? To let them go? It must've. She seemed so sad...but she did it anyway. And so should we._

He picks up the Record Producer card, slips it into the ticket box, and bids a silent farewell to Manny Mua. _I doubt I'll ever figure out if we were really friends,_ he thinks regretfully, _but you were a good person. I'll miss you._

Speaking of people whose friendship status with Matt is uncertain, Nikita looks absolutely dead inside. Not that he blames her.

The YouTubers gather at a window. "Maybe we can sneak through that side alleyway right there," Matt whispers, pointing out the alleyway in question with his hands. He has a pretty good idea of the layout of the town, seeing as how he's been running up and down its streets for the entirety of the night. Well, except for when he was dead, but that was only an hour, and at this point, what difference can an hour possibly make?

 

Nikita adjusts her wig. _I am strong,_ she tells herself, channeling her terror into fierce determination. _I don't feel a thing._ It's a lie, of course, but her lies are all that's keeping her from falling into pieces. _I will live. I'm Nikita Dragun, and I'm gonna make the Carnival Master pay._

She, Matt, and Joey tiptoe into the alleyway, then break into a sprint as soon as they catch sight of one of the zombies. "Omigod." Joey's voice is breathless. "Go, go, go."

"They're _everywhere!"_ hisses Matt.

"Omigod," whimpers Joey, "they're all over the place."

Zombies fill the streets. Even though Nikita feels like dying, she presses on, running after Joey and Matt with the speed and intensity of an Olympic athlete. Dust sticks to the bottom of her go-go boots, which are not as white as they were before.

"It's right here!" Joey shouts, pointing to a stump.

"Wait!" Matt shudders to a stop. "Oh, you found it?"

Joey pulls a wand out of the stump. "It's glowing," Nikita notes, because why the hell not? A glowing wand is only number _twenty_ on the list of weird shit she's seen in the past ten hours. She'd put it somewhere between Pig Face and the doll made out of skin.

They use the wand to lower the first Life Stone to the ground. Nikita takes it out of the air, but it doesn't feel right in her hands, so she passes it to Joey instead. Meanwhile, Matt reads the accompanying note.

_The second stone rests on the end of a hangman's noose. However, you'll need to wear his executioner's hood to see it. His raiments are high above, where you challenged the Serpent's Tower._

Nikita remembers the Serpent's Tower. Specifically, she remembers daring Roi to take the block that pretty much killed him.

_Holy fuck, tonight is gonna send me straight to hell._

 

"We challenged the Serpent's Tower in Fat Man Slims," Matt peeks around the corner and tries to ignore the nervous sweat that dots his sunglasses. "There's more of them."

"We need to be cautious and slow, okay?" Joey reminds them.

 _Fat Man Slims._ Matt can see the lights of the pub from where he's standing. _That's where we played the Serpent's Tower for_ way _too long, Teala! Pick a block and just choose it!_ He makes the sign of the cross in memory of the anxious little Super Spy. _Rest the dead._

They creep towards Fat Man Slims, but they're forced to duck behind a rack of tires due to zombies. "Okay," gulps Joey. "I don't know how we're gonna get to Fat Man Slims." His lips become a pondering line. "We can make a run to the merry-go-round..."

A female zombie in a raggedy white dress lumbers towards their hiding spot. "Here, we gotta go." All the hairs on Matt's body stand on end. "Right there! Run! Run! Run!" He and the others dart into the open. "Make a straight shot! Make a straight shot! Head to the left!"

The zombies suddenly get more aggressive, and they chase the YouTubers hardcore down the street. Try as Matt, Nikita, and Joey might to weave their way between the undead, there are just too many zombies to handle.

 _Just keep running,_ Matt's brain chants. _Just keep running. Just keep—_

One of the zombies leaps at him. Before he can defend himself, he's grabbed, forced to the ground, and surrounded by a starving horde of reanimated corpses. "No! Hey! Joey!" The smell of their rotting breath stings his nose. "No!" He reaches for the sky in a last grasp at freedom before the zombies overwhelm him. _"No!"_

Decades of pop culture dictate that he's doomed. Who is he to argue with pop culture?

_I love you, Steph..._

Matt closes his eyes, flashes back to his first death, and screams at a ghastly volume that even 2018 can hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Is this the end of the road for our Detective? Also, Nikita may or may not be getting attached again.


	52. Don't Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt's been captured. Again. Will Joey and Nikita be able to save him in time?

Nikita, for some perplexing reason, does _not_ want Matt to die.

Sure, she and the Detective haven't exactly been the best of pals throughout tonight, and she never stopped to picture him surviving alongside her, but for some reason, she feels like she's going to lose what's left of her mind if she lets this stupid-ass town murder him (again). Maybe it's because he's the smartest. Maybe it's because he's a good person. Or maybe it's just because he's all she's got.

So when he doesn't make it back to Fat Man Slims with her and Joey, her heart shifts nervously against her rib cage. And when Joey confirms that "they got Matt," it breaks apart.

 _"Dammit."_ She falls to her knees, her hand pressed against the closed door, as Matt's cries from outside reverberate in her ears. "We were _so_ close!" _He's got five minutes. If we don't save him, they'll tear him to bits._

She shouldn't care. They have a mission to complete. Besides, caring's done _squat_ for her. Why run the risk again?

_We're in this together..._

Frick. It's no use. The damn nerd's gone and snuck his way into her cold, dead heart, just like he snuck into Manny's, and Safiya's, and freakin' _everyone's,_ so she supposes she just has to go and save his ass now. That's how it works. Goddammit. Ugh. The things she does for friends!

"Guys!" screams Matt as the zombies march him away. _"Guys!_ Help me!"

Nikita watches the scene through the window. "They're taking him back to the graves."

"Okay," says Joey.

 _Matt, once we save you, can you please_ stay _saved?_

 

Matt's not dead yet. That's the good news. The bad news is, he's close to it.

They take him to the graveyard's mausoleum. "I really don't like small, contained spaces!" he pleads, as if the undead give a darn about what he does and doesn't like. "Really don't!" Decaying hands shove him into the mausoleum. "Guys! No!"

The mausoleum's door clicks closed. He's trapped.

 _Five minutes..._ Matt immediately sets to pounding his fists against the walls of the mausoleum, because trying _anything's_ better than waiting around to die. _Are Joey and Nikita_ actually _gonna try to save me, or are they gonna sacrifice me and just try to save themselves? Is a brainy computer program like me even_ necessary _at this point,_ especially _since I know what it's like to die?_

He has many questions, and to be honest, he'd rather stay in the dark about the answers.

 

The Life Stones can wait. Joey has a Matt to save! "Let's go get him."

"Okay," says Nikita. "Let's go."

They step outside into a world where zombies roam the streets. "Omigod. Omigod." Joey doesn't know why this stuff keeps scaring him. Frankly, his amygdala should be _fried_ by now, but here he is, still freaking out about every new monster that shows up. "Okay!" He runs for the drugstore. "Quick! Come on! This way!"

He and Nikita dart into the drugstore. "Close the door," gasps Nikita.

Joey closes the door. "Wait, Nikita." He peers out the window. "Should we go up there?"

"The back door." Nikita points as she speaks. "Through the witches' lair, and across that bridge."

Joey nods. "Yeah. I like that. Let's do it."

"Come on."

"Okay."

The two of them position themselves at the back door of the drugstore. "Ready?" asks Nikita.

"Ready," Joey replies.

But just as they're about to open the door, they notice some zombies loitering their way down the street. Nikita turns pale. "They're right outside. We're trapped."

 _Oh, dear._ "We have to go through the front." _How much time has passed? Is Matt dead yet? Please, don't let him be dead..._

 

Time ticks away. There are a little more than two minutes left on the clock that is Matt's life, and panic has already started to seep into his brain. "If you're not saving me for me," he calls from the mausoleum, his knuckles aching from his efforts to escape, "then save me for Blanche."

No response.

_I have a horse. Have. Not had. She needs me. I promised her I'd save her. For us. For Ro. I couldn't save Ro. I can't save anyone._

Is the lack of oxygen making him loopy? Or is it just despair?

 

"We need to get to Matt," Joey stammers. "We're running out of time. We just have to go."

 _Boy, you don't gotta tell_ me _twice!_ "Let's go," murmurs Nikita. "I'm ready."

They inch out the door. Joey says _"run"_ and makes a break for it, with Nikita a step behind him. They run like hell. The zombies run after them, groaning like hungover partygoers with bad makeup jobs.

"Quick." Nikita takes Joey's hand and steers him towards the church. "Come around here." _I can't believe that these damn things are_ still _chasing us! Clearly, the undead are very physically active! I wonder if they have gym memberships?_ "We should check both sides."

"Get on the other side," pants Joey. "Okay."

There's a mausoleum in the graveyard.

 

Matthew Patrick has less than twenty-five seconds to live. 

He stopped pounding against the walls of the mausoleum about a minute ago, and now, he falls to his knees, his hands scraping against the rough stone. "I don't wanna die," he whimpers quietly, tears fogging up his sunglasses. "I don't wanna go back to that place. Don't make me go back."

Footsteps can be heard outside. Matt hopes that they're the footsteps of his friends, but a part of him is convinced that the zombies are coming to finish him off.

 _Joey and Nikita are probably doing more important things,_ snicker the demons in his mind. _You're dead weight. You've been dead weight since you died. You should've stayed dead._ He hits his forehead, but he can't make them stop. _You're gonna die soon, for good this time, and it's gonna be slow and painful, and no one is coming to save you. You're not worth it._

"Someone, please." His teary voice grows louder as the footsteps grow closer. "If anyone can hear me, please help me!"

"Matt!"

_Is that...no...it can't be..._

But it is. "Matt, we're here."

"Joey!" _They came back for me. They didn't let me die. I guess that they still need me after all._

The door to the mausoleum opens. He stumbles out to see Joey and Nikita with their hands on his former prison. As soon as he feels the cool breeze on his face, he detects the smell of rotting flesh, and he trembles slightly. Sure enough, there is a zombie _inches_ away from the trio.

"Come on." Joey sprints away. "Go. We have to go. Let's cross this bridge! Come on! Over here!"

Matt and Nikita run after him.

 

Joey runs as quickly as he can. He, Nikita, and Matt make it back into Fat Man Slims, and once again, they slam the door on the zombies. They're safe. For now. But for now is not forever. They need to find the other two Life Stones before it's too late.

Matt catches his breath. "So this is our home base?"

"Yes," Nikita replies.

With that out of the way, Matt rereads the clue. "The second stone rests on the end of a hangman's noose..."

Noose. Rope. There's a rope on the floor. "There's rope," Joey points out, bemused at the odd convenience of their task. He and Nikita follow it upstairs and find themselves in an upstairs room filled with rope. A box sits at the center of the floor. Inside that box is a black hood and, of course, a note.

_The Hangman's Hood reeks of death and makes one appear undead. The noose must be tied in the correct place to enact the hangman's power. The path of the noose can be seen from a higher point of view._

Nikita frowns. "A higher point of view?"

"Out there," says Joey, pointing to a nearby balcony.

On the balcony, they find a diagram that illustrates a specific configuration that the rope must be tied in. It's clearly some sort of crazy triangle.

Joey's fingers brush against the X on the diagram. "X marks the spot." He points to the place down below that's indicated by the X. "Right between there."

"Great," says Nikita.

"We got this," Joey tells her, and he hopes that he's right.

 

Matt feels fairly useless on the ground floor, but at least he's no longer trapped in that terrible mausoleum, so there's that. _I wish Ro and Safiya were here,_ he thinks for about the six millionth time. _They could've brought_ so _much to this Life Stone quest._

And yet, despite his broken heart, he has to admit that Nikita's been more of a friend than he thought she'd be.

Funny how that works.

Nikita and Joey return, carrying a hood, a note, and a whole lot of rope. "So we found the noose," says Joey, "and it's upstairs."

"Oh," Matt replies. "The noose is upstairs." He squints at both the hood and its accompanying note. "And we can use this to sneak past the undead. It says it reeks of death...and you can blend in with the undead..."

"Like a zombie," Nikita murmurs.

"In that case, I'll wear it," states Joey dryly. "I'm dead anyway."

 _So am I, technically,_ is almost Matt's response, but instead, he grabs the rope. "Let me tie this for you, actually. I did lighting design for years."

"Come on, Boy Scout!" Joey chortles.

So Matt gets to work. "Omigod," he murmurs as he wraps the rope up, "there _is_ a lot of rope. Okay." He was _not_ expecting his theater degree to come in handy, but that's because he's learned to have zero expectations in Everlock.

 

Joey is of the opinion that Matt has some witchcraft going on. _How the_ hell _is he wrapping up that rope so damn quick? He's a witch! A witch, I say!_ His thoughts turn remorseful. _I better not bring that up. He probably doesn't want to hear about witches._

"Now put that over your arm," says Matt, helping Joey sling the bundle of rope over his left arm.

There are zombies _literally_ right outside the open door. Joey half-screams-half-squeaks as he slams the door in their nasty faces.

"Good." Matt holds the door closed. "Okay. Put on the Hood." Then, to the nearest zombie, "Hey, buddy!"

"Should we put the Hood on?" Joey asks.

Matt nods. "Absolutely." He carefully slips the Hangman's Hood over Joey's head. "Don't wanna mess up your hair! Okay. Can you see anything?"

Joey's vision is nonexistent. "No."

"All right." Matt's voice slips into Professional Mode. "So we'll be directing you from up top." He gently guides Joey out the door. "Go straight. Watch your step!"

The door swings shut behind the shaking Savant.

_Oh, no._

"Joey, watch your step!" shouts Matt. "Step down, and step down."

So Joey moves through the darkness, zombies hissing around him, with his friends' voices as his only guides. _Don't screw this up,_ is all that pumps through his mind. _I know you screw everything up, but for the love of God, don't screw this up!_

Nikita, who's already on the roof, takes over as Joey's human GPS, and Joey does his best to heed her guidance. "You're gonna start it at the merry-go-round. To your left...right a little...stop!"

Joey stops.

"Yes! Right in front of you!"

"Okay," says Joey. "And now what?"

"Wrap it around somehow and secure it," shouts Nikita briskly.

A panic switch flips on in Joey's heart. "Omigod, guys, this is _so_ scary!" Footsteps shuffle against the ground, and growls ring in his ears as he reaches for the hook. "I can sense the zombies around me!"

"It's okay," Nikita assures him. "They can't see you. Yeah, grab that hook and wrap it around the hoof of the horse. You're good."

"Okay." Somehow, Joey attaches the rope to the merry-go-round, and he's just happy that he's accomplished something.

Nikita's voice is slightly quieter now, but still as sharp and distinct as ever. "Keep going straight! There's a lot of them, but don't freak out."

"You're doing great, Joey," adds Matt. "You're doing great."

Joey stretches out his arm. "How close am I to the pole?" he hollers up at his friends, who are quick to respond.

"Very!"

"Left! Left!"

"Your other left! Your other left! Left!"

If it wasn't for the fact that zombies are involved, Joey suspects that Nikita and Matt would have him walk in circles for the rest of the night, just so they can laugh at his ridiculousness. As it is, there's no time for silliness. Not with dawn so close at hand.

"I feel it!" HIs hand touches the pole. "I feel it! Okay. Okay."

"Around the pole, sweetie! You got it!" calls Nikita.

Joey puts the rope around the pole.

"Good!" exclaims Matt.

Nikita resumes her GPS function. "Now go straight!"

Every step Joey takes feels like a step closer to death. "Omigosh, guys! Am I..." He gulps. The zombies' snarls sound more malicious than ever."Am I okay? I feel like they're getting..."

"You're doing fine," reassures Matt. "They have no clue that you're there."

"I think they just think you smell really nice," is Nikita's take on what's happening.

Joey closes his eyes to match the darkness of the Hood. For a moment, Matt and Nikita's voices no longer sound like Matt and Nikita, but like the many people he loved and lost. Liza. Lele. Alex. _Justine._ They're here, somehow. They're with him.

"Going straight..."

"Walk it out slowly..."

"To your right! You feel a pull?"

"Okay. Right there."

"Okay!" Joey touches another pole. This one feels slightly cooler than the last.

Matt sounds like Matt again, but why are there still echoes of long-dead friends in his words? "Head back to the merry-go-round, if you remember where it was. You just wrapped it around the arcade. You know exactly where the merry-go-round is."

Joey follows the rope. "Omigod!" he shouts. "I can sense them!" They're roaring in his face now, and their breath smells of rot. "Omigod, I can feel them!"

"Just think of roses...a club...a nice drink...a spray tan..." advises Nikita.

 _"Joey, it's all right."_ Now it's _definitely_ Justine Ezarik speaking to him, and even though he's not sure if she's real, he's _more_ than happy to close his eyes and pretend. _"You don't gotta be scared. You'll make it out. You always do."_

 _And when I'm out,_ Joey promises her, _I'll bring you back to me._

 

 _Any moment now,_ thinks Nikita pessimistically, _they're gonna get a cute little bite out of that pretty boy._ She scowls at the bannister. Joey's a good friend, but...he's _Joey._ He's not built for danger. Not like her. Not even like Matt.

"There you go," Matt calls down to Joey. "Slide that through the, like, remainder of the noose."

Joey finishes the triangle. "I need to stay in the center, don't I?"

"Yeah," says Matt. "You have to stay in the center."

Nikita yells "Keep going straight!" and mentally adds _for once in your life._

Matt leans forward. "Okay. Good. Good."

"And _stop!"_ they both shout together.

Just like that, Joey's at the center of his makeshift rope triangle. He raises his hands, and a chest open behind him. He apparently sense it, since he shouts "Where did that chest open?" (Or maybe he just has Spidey Sense. Anything's possible.)

"Turn around," says Nikita. "Turn around and go straight." She squints at Joey as he carries out her instructions. "Keep going straight. You're fine."

Joey steps over the rope. "Did I walk over it."

"You're fine!" Nikita insists. "Keep going straight!"

Next to her, Matt silently cracks up.

"Okay," says Joey.

Nikita and Matt slowly but surely make sure that Joey doesn't trip over his own hangman's noose, and much to Nikita's pleasant surprise, the zombies mind their own damn business. Joey opens the chest, pulls out the second Life Stone, raises it over his head like a Super Bowl trophy, and... _takes off the Hood?!? Joey Graceffa, what the_ hell _are you doing? Once you take off that Hood, you're not invisible anymore!_

"Okay, what should we do?" an obviously clueless Joey wants to know.

"Run in the drugstore!" Nikita cries.

"Go in the drugstore!" yells Matt. "There's a back door!" He mutters something along the lines of "keep the _damn_ Hood on, Joey," and Nikita clucks sympathetically at him.

Joey disappears into the drugstore.

Matt turns to Nikita. "I hope he knows that there's a back door. I don't think he's ever done anything in the drugstore."

Nikita squeezes the railing. Its rough wood scratches her palms, and she wonders if those marks will still be there tomorrow morning.

 

"You know what?" says Joey to himself once he's safely inside the drugstore. "I think I should put the Hood back on." He almost does, but then changes his mind. "Shoot! No, cause they can't explain to me!"

His Life Stone glows eerily.

He sneaks out the back door, tiptoes around the building, and calls for Matt and Nikita. "Guys! Hurry! Is the coast clear?"

"Yeah," Matt replies. "You're fine. Keep going."

"Run, run, run," chants Nikita.

Joey races back over to Fat Man Slims with the Hood in one hand and the Life Stone in the other. _I'm safe._ He tries to open the door. _I'm safe, right? What's going on? Why won't the doors open?_ "Guys!"

That's when he sees the chair.

 

Only _now_ does Matt remember that he barricaded the doors to Fat Man Slims in order to keep out the zombies. Because of his unfortunate oversight, Joey's locked outside.

_Shoot._

 

Two zombies charge at Joey, and he barely manages to evade them by taking off again. "You stupid idiots!" he screams at his dumb companions. "Why is there a chair in front of the door? What the hell?" _Why are my friends such absolute morons? I'm gonna_ die _out here!_

He ducks into the police station. Zombies slam themselves against the glass, clawing for him.

"What the heck?" Joey puts the Hood back on and opens the door. "Okay. Here I go." On his way out, he finds a female zombie in a pale white dress, and it takes him a second to confirm that it's no one he knows.

Nikita pokes her head out of Fat Man Slims. "Walk straight!"

"I have a damn _bone_ to pick with you guys!" Joey snaps.

"Just a second," says Nikita. "We're gonna direct you."

"Joey, come towards my voice," commands Matt.

Joey snorts. "Yeah, well, I _tried_ that once." He knows that Matt and Nikita didn't mean to lock him out, but honestly, it's better for him to be angry than to be scared. At least he can channel his anger into action.

"Don't worry," Matt responds calmly. "You're fine this time. Watch the step! There's another step!"

"Go straight like your life depended on it, for once," jokes Nikita.

Finally, Joey makes it back inside Fat Man Slims. "Omigosh!" He rips off the Hood. "What the hell was _that?!?_ I tried to get in here, and you guys have a chair in front of the door!"

"Joey, I am _so_ sorry," sighs Matt. "They were breaking down the door. I am _so_ sorry. I am _such_ an idiot."

"Omigod," groans Nikita.

Well, on the bright side, they now have two Life Stones. The second one, _again,_ comes with a note. Joey reads it.

_The Maiden of Madness contains the third Life Stone. It will only release the crystals once it has feasted upon the flesh of an undead mother._

_No._ Joey feels like he's going to implode. "We have to go back into the Maiden of Madness's lair?" _Not that. Not there._ Anywhere _but there. I_ can't _see her like that._

"What's the Maiden of Madness?" questions Matt.

Joey pushes the horrible truth past the glob of bile in his throat. "Where we killed Colleen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Our heroes get several lovely reminders of those they've lost. I hope you like to cry.


	53. A Message from the Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to save Everlock, Joey, Nikita, and Matt must find the third Life Stone, confront their inner demons, and listen to the friends they're leaving behind.

Colleen Ballinger's bloody fate plays on a constant loop within the darkest, most painful recesses of Joey's traumatized mind, accompanied by reminders that _you killed her, you murdered her, you shoved her into the Maiden and closed the door, you sick son of a bitch._ Neither _she was trying to kill me_ nor _I had no choice_ is loud enough to silence her screams, and honestly, Joey doesn't think they _deserve_ to be silenced. Not anymore.

But the thought of going back to the Maiden...of seeing what's left of the girl he betrayed...

 _No way. I'm gonna throw up. I can't. I_ can't!

"Sorry." Matt's exhausted mumble reminds Joey that the Detective was lucky enough to be a corpse during Colleen's murder. "You might have to refresh me, cause I was dead."

"We basically had to throw her in there, and we closed it on her," Nikita recounts. "It was really gruesome." She glances out the window, as if she's expecting Colleen's ghost to rise up and attack them. "This is way worse, but we know where it is."

Joey distracts himself with the rest of the note. "Hold on. There's more to this."

_Caroline passed away two years ago from grief over her lost child, and they say she was buried with a token of her daughter._

"So that's how we'll find out who she is," Joey explains. "based off the token of her daughter."

"Okay," says Matt, who looks visibly disturbed by Caroline's story.

Joey looks outside. Yep. The zombies are still there. It was hard enough rescuing Matt; going through a freakin' _graveyard_ with _undead monsters_ on the loose is _not_ going to be anything _close_ to easy.

Fortunately, Nikita has a plan. "I can run out, distract them, maneuver all of them, and then put on the Hood."

Matt lightly touches her arm and says "yeah." Joey wonders offhand why the two of them seem so close now, especially since they were at each other's throats two and a half hours ago. _Maybe losing their best friends gave them some perspective on teamwork?_

"Go!" Nikita darts out the door. "Hey, zombies, look at me! I'm really cute! Come on! Come on over here!"

The zombies follow her, giving Joey and Matt an opening to sneak out the door. Joey feels like this is about to go horribly wrong.

 

"Omigod." Nikita runs like the wind, but the wind doesn't feel fast enough to protect her. "Omigod, are you guys scared?" _Zombies, goddamnit. Why did it have to be zombies? Bitches can't even_ die _properly...what's dead should stay dead...most of the time..._

"Oh, no!" hollers Joey. "Run!"

Nikita chants "I'm running, I'm running" as her boots clack against the street. A zombie lunges for her, but she hops out of its way in time to pull the Hood over her face (and crush her hair in the process, which is the _true_ tragedy here). "You can't see me, and I can't see anything." It's _so_ dark. "I can't see anything." It's _too_ dark. "Oh, God, this is terrifying!"

For some dumb reason, even though they can't see her, the zombies are _still_ surrounding her. At this point, Nikita's convinced that they're just trying to make this harder than it has to be.

"Okay." She closes her eyes to match the darkness. "Happy place, Nikita..."

_Warm LA beaches and NYC shopping. Deluxe spa treatments and late-night club hopping. Choosing the best look for winter or spring...these are a few of my favorite things..._

Damn Matt and his lighting design. The theater geek is rubbing off on her!

 

Matt and Joey arrive back at the graveyard, and by a stroke of luck, only one zombie follows them. _Nikita's a good distraction,_ Matt reflects. _She's loud, colorful, and not afraid to embarrass herself if it'll get the job done._ Sometimes, he wishes he had half of her flashiness.

"Here," gasps Joey. "Hide behind a stone."

The zombie shambles into view. Matt crouches behind one of the gravestones, making himself as tiny as possible so that he won't be found. _Don't capture me again,_ he prays. _Once was more than enough._

 

_Bubblegum lip gloss and wigs of all styles...laughing when my pic's used for fake profiles...Gabby and Laura and..._

She can't finish.

Time for Plan B. "Okay, maybe if I act like a zombie..." Nikita sticks her arms in front of her and makes slow, staggering, deliberate movements in an effort to blend in. _Be a zombie. See the zombie. Feel the zombie._

Finally, her hands touch wood. "I've been blind before," she tells herself. "I've had blacked-out nights."

 

The zombie passes by without incident, much to Matt's relief.

"Okay." Joey emerges from behind his gravestone. "We're good. We're good. Okay."

So the boys investigate the graves. Of course, because they can't have any good luck without an extra complication to make up for it, there are two Carolines buried in this graveyard. One is Caroline Weathers. _"The woman who longed for children,"_ Joey and Matt read simultaneously.

 _No, that's not right,_ thinks Matt. _Our Caroline did have a child, but she lost her._ He briefly thinks of Ollie.

"This is _a grief-stricken mother,"_ Joey reports, pointing at the grave of the other Caroline. "Caroline Mathers."

Matt nods. "Grief-stricken mother. Okay." _That's more like it._

"Should we just start digging?" asks Joey.

They don't have to dig for very long. A few pushed-aside stones are enough to reveal the token.

"Oh! I found it!" Joey snatches it up. "It's a rattle."

It's like Matt is in an episode of _Sherlock;_ all of the answers are giant white words in front of his eyes. _This is her daughter's rattle. If we shake it in front of her, she will follow it, because it reminds her of her daughter._ He smiles. _And_ that _is how we lure her into the death trap!_

He and Joey book it back to Fat Man Slims, where they encounter even more zombies. "Actually," gulps Joey, "let's go to the arcade!"

So they practically throw themselves into the arcade, shut the door, and bar it up behind them. A zombie starts banging on the door. Several others join him, effectively trapping the boys inside the arcade.

"Where's Nikita?" is Joey's next question.

 _Nikita..._ Matt's heart sinks at the reminder that she's still out there. _What if the zombies got her?_ He doesn't know how long it took him and Joey to find the rattle, but he's fairly certain that it's been more than five minutes. _She might be dead by now! And even if she isn't, how on earth are we supposed to get past all these zombies in order to find her?_

He has an idea, and before he can tell himself that it's a _bad_ idea, he opens the window.

 

Nikita is _so_ tired. She feels like one of those little dolls that collapse when people press the bottom of them. _I wanna sleep,_ groans her heart, but her brain shushes it with a firm _shut the hell up, you whiney bitch! You've got a job to do! Besides, if you fall asleep, you're dead! So stay awake!_

She peeks around the corner of the police station to see what she's up against, only to find that the coast is surprisingly clear. This lets her make it back to Fat Man Slims without any issues, but once she's there, she looks through the window to see Matt and Joey in the arcade...with zombies surrounding the place. "Omigod," she gasps. "They're trapped."

 

"Omigod, Matt." Joey squints through the now-open window, and he sees a pink shape inside Fat Man Slims that is unmistakably Nikita. _So they haven't got her yet._ "We need to get to her."

Matt shakes his head. "No, we don't. We just need to—"

He's interrupted by a zombie that nearly bites his hand off. Both boys scream and jump away.

"Dammit!" Matt leans against the wall, his forehead touching a pillar. "That was so close." He sounds truly terrified. "That was so close."

_Welcome to my world, MatPat._

 

"I have to lead them away again," Nikita realizes aloud. _Here I go with another distraction, just like old times. Captain Save-Some-Hoes._ "Hey, guys!" She strolls outside Fat Man Slims and makes sure that the zombies notice her. _Hello, zombies! Come get a piece of this deliciousness!_

The zombies lumber towards her.

 _And now I run._ "I'm a damsel in distress!" she screeches as she patters down the street.

 

"Oh!" notices Matt. "She's distracting them!"

Joey shrugs. "Oh, of course." _That's Nikita for you._ "Good job, Nikita."

"Oh, dammit. Okay." As soon as the last zombie has shuffled off into the distance, Matt runs to the door and unbars it. "Okay," he murmurs.

"You ready?" Joey asks.

Matt nods.

That nod is all it takes to send Joey flying out the door. "Okay, let's go to Fat Man Slims. Quick!" _I am not losing any more friends to Everlock. Not now. Not tonight. Not ever again._

 

Nikita puts the Hood back on. It crushes her hair _again,_ but to be honest, her hair is no longer a concern for her. What _is_ a concern is the horde of zombies that are _still_ after her sweet piece of ass. _I'm gonna die,_ whispers the panicky part of her brain. _They're gonna get me. They're gonna eat me. Everything I did...everyone I screwed over...it's all gonna be for absolutely nothing._

"Hey, over here!" she hears Joey shout.

_Oh, good. They escaped._

From the sound of it, the zombies are now after the boys instead of her, so Nikita has some _space_ at least, but that isn't enough to block the tears that are welling up in her eyes. "Omigod." She crawls on the dirty ground like a broken, pathetic beggar girl, a far cry from the proud Troublemaker she was at the start of the night. _This is too much!_ Now she really _is_ close to having herself a nice little mental breakdown. _I wanna go home! Please, somebody, get me out of here!_

(It feels like someone's squeezing her hand, trying to comfort her, but it's probably another trick of the town.)

"Okay." Matt sounds like he's on the balcony already. "Follow my voice. You're doing great, darling!"

The Troublemaker is back on her feet. She moves with her hands out in front of her, following the voice of a person she fought with a few hours ago. "I walk into the bar," she narrates, "and I can't see." _I'm not in danger. I'm just having a night out._

Matt catches on to her plan. "It's just you late-night, girl!"

"It's just another late-night Walk of Shame," Nikita declares, and for a moment, that's her reality. She's on her way home, drunk as a skunk, listening to her friends ridicule her about the guy she made out with for half an hour before he threw up on her shoes. Manny's laughing louder than anyone, but he's also doing his best to make sure that she doesn't fall and hurt herself. There's no such thing as Everlock. They're fine. No one is dead.

Matt says the phrase "working the clubs," leaving Nikita to wonder if the Detective has ever so much as _entered_ a nightclub before.

Now it's Joey's turn to guide her. "Follow my voice, Nikita! Over here!"

"Listen to Joey," says Matt. "Ready?"

"Walk of Shame," echoes Nikita, who's just reached the steps.

"Go, go, go, go, go!" shouts Joey. "Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick! Get in! Get in! Come here!"

Nikita bolts through the door in no time flat. Only when the door slams shut behind her does she feel like it's safe to remove the Hood. "Are you guys okay?" is the first thing that tumbles out of her mouth.

"Yeah," Joey assures her. "Let me fix your hair."

_My hair? Oh, yeah, right. My hair got wrecked by the Hood! I'd be pissed, but I've got more important things to deal with right now._

 

Now, they need to figure out which one of these zombie girls is Caroline, because it's _not_ that obvious. _Thank God for the Hood and the rattle to help us sort it out,_ thinks Joey as he slips the Hood back over his head.

"What is he doing?" Nikita asks Matt.

 _It's like I'm not even here._ "I'm just gonna rattle this until she comes to me," says Joey, holding up the rattle to illustrate his lightbulb moment. With that, he walks out the door, leaving his friends in the safety of Fat Man Slims.

 

Matt watches from the window as Joey shakes the rattle in front of the zombie horde. Lo and behold, one of the female zombies separates from the pack, reaching out for the rattle as if she's trying to grab a life preserver. A small smile crosses Matt's face. _This is our girl!_

"Come back!" Nikita calls to Joey. "Come straight!"

Joey finds Fat Man Slims again.

Nikita pulls him inside and closes the door behind him. "Come on! Take off the Hood!"

With everyone once again out of danger, Matt outlines their new strategy. "So we grab the Stone, and we regroup here," he says in a breathless voice. "It's really close."

"Yeah," Nikita agrees.

"We need to distract them," says Joey.

Nikita furrows her brow. "Again?"

"I think so." Matt steels his jaw. "I think...the Hood, right?" Since he's the only one who hasn't used the Hood yet, not to mention the fact that he was dead when the group last encountered the Maiden and therefore wouldn't know where it is, it's obviously his duty to be the distraction this time around. Even though he's still scared of the zombies, he's _not_ about to shrink away from his duty. That's not who he is. "Right. Give the Hood to me. You guys can go get the Stone."

Neither Joey or Nikita disputes this idea, and Nikita silently hands over the Hood. Matt puts it on. The darkness reminds him of death.

"Okay," says Joey. "Ready?"

 _I hope so._ "Yep."

"Go."

"Just walk straight," advises Nikita.

"Walk straight," Matt chuckles. "Thanks."

Nikita's not done. "Just act like you got pulled over by the cops and walk a straight line."

"Walk a straight line..." _Has she been pulled over by the cops before?_ Knowing her, the answer is almost certainly yes.

Matt walks in a straight line out the door and all the way past the arcade. Once he's a good distance away from Joey and Nikita, he takes off the Hood and does what he does best: makes a spectacle of himself. "Hey, zombies!" His loud voice rasps in the early morning breeze. "Zombies!" The zombies' incoming snarls are his cue to run for the hills while singing a Cranberries song, because why not have a little fun while trying not to get eaten alive? "Zo-o-mbie, zo-o-mbie, zo-o-mbie..."

 

Joey and Nikita make it to the doll shop, but of _course,_ the dang door is _locked._ Just when Joey's about to lose hope, he spots a crowbar lying unattended. "Over here! Look! A crowbar!" He runs to it and picks it up. "Okay, here." Since he can't hold two things at once, he passes the rattle to Nikita. "Hold the rattle. Hold the rattle."

Nikita shakes the rattle, and sure enough, Caroline shows up, limping slowly towards the YouTubers with her arms outstretched in front of her. _"Oh,"_ she's clearly implying with her limp, _"is that my rattle?"_

While this is going on, Joey wedges open the side window with the crowbar. He and Nikita enter the doll shop, with Nikita still rattling the rattle. Caroline unsuspectingly follows them in.

_There it is._

The Maiden of Madness stands right where they left it. Joey chokes down his vomit as he approaches the murderous contraption, trying not to think about Colleen's pleas for mercy. _Please don't let her still be in there,_ he prays as he goes to open it. _Please, for the love of God, don't let her still be in there._

She isn't. He's too relieved to question where she went.

"Yes, come in!" he croons to Caroline. "Come to us!"

"Omigod, I'm having flashbacks to Colleen all over again," squeaks Nikita, whose face is pale with remorse.

 _Me too._ "Oh, yes, our friend went in here before!" Joey says in a disgustingly chipper voice as Nikita rattles the rattle over the open Maiden. "It's _lovely_ this time of year!"

"You wanna go see her?" Nikita asks.

Zombie Caroline does not answer, most likely because she has no idea what (or who) Joey and Nikita are talking about. She just stumbles into the Maiden without any comprehension of the nasty fate that's about to befall her.

"Yes, go see Colleen!" Joey's smile is about as fake as his voice. "Tell Colleen we say hey!" _Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I'm gonna try to make it right._

They shut the zombie inside the Maiden. As her screams burrow their way into Joey's eardrums, the compartment at the bottom of the Maiden opens, revealing the final Life Stone. "Omigod." Joey grabs the Stone, along with the note that comes with it. "Omigod. Omigod." _We have all three Life Stones. We can finally end this and go home._ "We need to go find Matt right now. Quick."

 

Matt, who now has the Hood on again, nearly trips over a step. Twice. "Nope," he grumbles both times, his heartbeat racing with fear at the prospect of falling in the darkness. _Come on, Matt. Hold it together. Remember how many people are counting on you to come home._

(It feels like two small arms are trying to calm him down with a hug, but he's probably just imagining things.)

"Matt!" Joey shouts from the doll shop. "We got it!"

"You got it?" Matt shouts back.

"Yeah!" comes Joey's reassuring reply. "Come back to Fat Man Slims!"

 _Well, that's easier said than done, but here goes nothing!_ "Guide me to your voice."

"Go straight!" yells Nikita.

"Oh, gosh." Joey's tone is laced with concern. "Just keep coming straight. Watch out for the rope."

Matt repeats the word "straight" as he navigates his way to Fat Man Slims. In the process, he creates his own happy place, where he, Stephanie, Safiya, and Rosanna are in his living room together, playing video games. They're laughing at the jokes, screaming at the jumpscares, and enjoying each other's company. None of them know what Everlock is. None of them know what it's like to die. Saying goodbye is a distant prospect that none of them will face anytime soon.

Joey's voice intrudes on his thoughts. ""Yeah! Keep going straight!"

"You're the only straight one left," quips Nikita.

Matt laughs. "I've been the only straight one for a _long_ time." He can't believe that he and Nikita are sort of friends now, especially since he thought for _sure_ that she (and Manny) didn't care about him. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe, to quote _Casablanca,_ this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

"Get in," says Joey.

Matt walks through the door to Fat Man Slims and takes off the Hood. Almost as soon as he does, Joey reads the note that came with the third Life Stone.

_Your deceased friends have a message on their backs that will turn the tide in your favor._

Nikita mutters "faces of your deceased friends" under her breath, her eyes wide with confusion.

One of Joey's eyebrows arches into a questioning pose. "Our _friends?"_

 _What's_ that _mean?_ Matt wonders. _Are we digging up more dead bodies? Are we gonna have to drag Safiya out of the funeral home and be like "well, what's on her back?"_ He hopes not. He doesn't think he'd be able to handle seeing Safiya's corpse again...and that's not even _mentioning_ Rosanna.

"The faces," says Nikita. "Where's...where's the..."

Joey gasps. "The cards!" he exclaims. "The voting cards!"

"Oh! It's the cards!" It makes a _lot_ more sense to look at the backs of the voting cards than it does to look at the backs of corpses. Yeah, it'll still be hard seeing Rosanna, Safiya, and all the rest of his dead friends on the cards, but it's better than the alternative. _Looks like we're gonna have to go back to the lounge one last time._

 

"I think we can totally run a decoy for a second," remarks Nikita, who's _more_ than ready to finish this damn mission once and for all. Her fear of zombies is fully gone at this point. She's just full-fledged _mad._

Joey opens the door. "I think we're good to just run."

 _Oh, I'm gonna_ run, _all right. And I won't stop running until the Carnival Master_ pays _for what he put us through._

She's the first out the door, and she runs down the street without even thinking about the monsters that are after her. Matt and Joey are right behind her. "Watch out, Joey!" Matt yells as Joey barely avoids a zombie's grip. "Go! Go! Go!"

All three of them make it to the arcade in one piece. "Okay, here," says Joey once they've closed the door. "Let's board this up again."

They board up the door, and after that, it's back to the lounge they go.

"Okay!" Matt finds what they're looking for fairly quickly. "The voting box!"

 _Hmm._ Nikita examines the box. _How do we open this bad boy?_ The shape of the box's opening is really weird to her, but it kind of reminds her of the base of one of the Life Stones. "You guys?" She jabs one of her acrylic nails at the opening. "I think we have to put a Stone in there."

"Just shove it on in there," Matt agrees.

Joey puts the Stone in the opening, and just like that, the box starts to glow. Nikita has a little less than enough time to say "I was right" before the side of the box falls open, causing all three YouTubers to jump.

"Oh, wow," is what Matt has to say about it. "Oh."

"Oh, God." Nikita reaches into the box, pulls out the cards, and passes them off to Joey and Matt. In the process, she makes sure to keep them backside up. She does _not_ want to start crying over a damn _tarot_ card.

"All right." Matt lays the cards out on the table and gets to work on connecting them. "Let's find the message that was left from our friends."

 _Is it really from them, though?_ Nikita can't help but ponder. _And if it is..._ She thinks of Manny. _Do I deserve their help?_

 

The cards, when connected, spell out a message, which the YouTubers take the liberty of reading aloud together.

_With the power of the Life Stones, place the Stones around the Harp and strum it twice. The Lazarus Harp can be used to summon fallen champions._

"Calliope?" asks Matt hopefully. "Mortimer?"

Joey's heart skips a beat. "I don't know." _Fallen champions. That could mean anyone. But anyone is better than no one right now. And since the Harp brought Matt back, who's to say it can't also bring back everyone else who died? I might not even need the crystal!_ "Let's try it." He springs to his feet and goes to get the Harp, renewed optimism glistening in his eyes. "Come on."

_Please, whatever happens next, let it be enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Two fallen champions return to kick ass...but not the ones you might think. Also, Matt has an ah-ha moment, Nikita finds strength, and Joey hears voices again.


	54. Warriors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone's coming back from the dead to help Joey, Matt, and Nikita take down the Carnival Master once and for all. But who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, guys, Season 4 is confirmed, and you know what that means...another novel for me to write! There is no rest for the author.

In Matt's opinion, Calliope and Mortimer are obvious choices for the fallen champions who need to be revived. Calliope lost her life in a brave attempt to kill the Carnival Master, and Mortimer (before his corruption) saved the group several times, so if _any_ of their dead friends could be considered champions, it would be those two. Unless the note is using a different definition...

_Don't hope for Ro. Don't hope for Safiya. You'll only break your own heart._

The Harp is in place. "Surrounding it," says Nikita as she uses the three Life Stones to make a small circle around the Harp.

"And strum it twice," insists Joey.

Matt repeats the phrase "strum it twice" in a quiet but firm voice.

"Okay." Joey prepares to strum the Harp. "Okay, ready?"

After Matt and Nikita make affirmative noises, Joey runs his fingers across the Harp's strings, and it produces a beautiful chord that Matt's hazy mind vaguely recalls. "One." Joey strums it again. Just as he says the word "two," the Harp emits a shower of golden sparks that prance across the room like fireflies. Smoke covers the doorway. The room starts going crazy. Matt wonders if this is what it was like when he was resurrected.

Joey pales. "Who's coming back?"

"Calliope?" Matt calls to the smoke. "Mortimer?"

But neither Calliope nor Mortimer appear. Instead, a blonde woman steps into the room, followed by an Asian man.

Joey gasps, then grins.

Matt points at the newcomers. "Wait." These aren't strangers. He's met them before. They were at the church. "I saw you when I died!"

 

"It's them," Joey breathes. "Guys, it's the Society Against Evil." Seeing the people who gave him his life back fills him with an odd sense of fulfillment, as if he's just subconsciously repaid a major debt.

The blonde woman smiles. "You've done the impossible like we knew you could, Joey. Now grab the Life Stones."

Joey, Matt, and Nikita pick up the Life Stones.

"It's time to finish what we started," says the woman, her tone laced with grateful determination.

Joey nods. "Yeah. Let's do it."

"Let's finish it," declares Matt.

Finish it they will. The Carnival Master will die at the hands of their new group, and once he's dead, Joey will at last get the chance to put everything back the way it was before the forces of evil ruined his life.

 

As the three YouTubers follow the two champions out the door, Nikita, for _once,_ feels hopeful. _They're probably on our side,_ she thinks. _We might actually have friends in this hell._ "Hey, I don't know you guys," she remarks to the blonde and the Asian. "Who are you? Do you have names?" _You_ better _be the good guys._

The zombies are waiting for them. The Asian uses his arm to block Joey, who's right behind him, from going any further. "Oh!" Joey nearly drops his Life Stone. "Okay."

"Omigod, omigod," chants Nikita, her hands shaking with anticipation.

The champions charge at the zombies. "See?" Matt shouts, gesturing to the blades the warriors carry. "Weapons!"

Said weapons are put to good use; the blonde and the Asian spend the next several minutes kicking zombie ass while Nikita, Matt, and Joey enthusiastically cheer them on. Blondie's doing flips, Asian is using his little light things, and Nikita's holding her Life Stone in a state of absolute _wow._ "Yes, bitch!"

Before long, all of the zombies are dead except one. "There's one more!" yells Joey to the warriors. "Get that one!"

Blondie's on it. The last zombie gets shanked, just like all of its friends.

"Omigod." Nikita's close to fangirling over a stranger. "That was _so_ badass."

"Let's go!" Blondie commands.

 _Why couldn't we have just gotten them from the beginning?_ complains the bitter part of Nikita. _They could've saved our friends._

 

Matt's glad that the zombies are out of the way, and he's _doubly_ glad to have the blonde woman and the Asian man here to fight alongside them. _This is what Everlock needed from the beginning,_ he thinks. _Trained fighters. People who actually_ know _how to save the world._

"It's so good to see you again!" exclaims Joey.

"We have _so_ many questions for you." Matt almost trips over himself in an effort to keep up with the champions. "Question one: do you have names? This is Nikita. I'm Matt."

"And you guys know me," adds Joey.

The woman nods. "I'm Jael. This is Ryu."

So, like the team of badasses that they are, they all hero-walk over to the church. Once they get there, Jael and Ryu march towards the entrance, causing Joey to turn slightly whiter than usual. "Are you guys _sure_ you know what you're doing?" questions the Savant.

"Do you want us to help?" asks Nikita.

The Carnival Master stands at the core of the church, his back to the group. Matt takes in the surrounding area. "All the artifacts are in here," he notes to no one in particular.

As soon as Jael sees the Carnival Master, her mouth forms half a smirk. "Remember me?"

 _Oh, wow,_ thinks Matt. _I don't think she and Ryu_ need _our help. I think this is where our night-long nightmare comes to an end._

 

The Carnival Master turns around, and Nikita's first thought upon seeing him is _well, damn, this bitch is over here as happy as can be. "Oh, I killed these people once! I can do it again!"_ She can't _wait_ for Jael and Ryu to wipe that nasty smirk off his face.

Ryu lets out a war cry and runs right at the Carnival Master.

"Get him!" Joey shouts.

Unfortunately, the Carnival Master quickly gains control of the fight. He headbutts Ryu, and then he straight-up punches him in the face, both of which knock the Asian warrior backwards onto the ground.

Matt gasps. "No!"

"Come on, Ryu," pleads Nikita.

Just as Ryu gets back on his feet, the Carnival Master traps him in a headlock, drags him to the nearest window, and bangs his head against it. This causes Matt to scream "No!" again, but louder this time.

Nikita whimpers "omigod" as fear returns to her body.

Jael chooses _now_ to join the fight with a roundhouse kick to the Carnival Master's shoulder. The YouTubers cheer. The Carnival Master whirls on her with murder in his eyes, then rams into her chest with his head. She goes flying, but she lands in a cool action pose, uses the wall to give herself momentum, and kicks the Carnival Master. They trade blows.

"Come on!" Matt calls out.

"Beat his ass!" hollers Nikita.

But Jael's next blow is countered by the Carnival Master. He pins her against the wall in a chokehold that reminds Nikita of Calliope's death, then throws her to the ground and kicks her repeatedly. She goes still.

It's as if Nikita just watched her chance at escape get stomped into nothing right in front of her. _It's over,_ she thinks. _He won. We're all going to die._ Her Life Stone feels heavy. _But we'll give him hell before we do._

 

Matt's hands shake. _This isn't good._ "Omigod," he squeaks. "Joey..." _After everything we've been through, is tonight_ really _gonna end with us and everyone else in town dying at the hands of the Carnival Master?_

"I don't know what to do." Joey looks like he's about to cry. "I don't know what to do."

"We have to use the artifacts and the Stones," stammers Matt, desperately trying to put a plan together.

The Carnival Master advances on the three surviving YouTubers. "You give me those Life Stones..."

"No!" Nikita snaps.

"...before I rip you apart limb for limb!"

His threat seems to change Nikita's tune. "Take it," she spits at their foe, holding her Life Stone out to him. Although she sounds angry, there's an obvious twitch of terror in her expression, and Matt suspects that her fear is not entirely for herself.

Then, just as all hope seems lost, Jael rises to her feet, runs forward, and slashes the Carnival Master in the leg.

Their fight resumes. Jael and the Carnival Master trade blows; she swipes at him with her blades, landing several direct hits, and he responds by pushing her up against the wall once more. "We should really help her, guys," suggests Nikita, but Matt isn't too keen on getting in the middle of an actual combat situation. After all, Jael obviously has more experience than he does.

Jael breaks free of the Carnival Master's grip with another blade attack, and after that, she gains the upper hand. One more roundhouse kick from her knocks the Carnival Master to the floor.

"Finish him off!" Joey screams.

Nikita's eyes gleam. "Get your revenge!"

"Finish him!" repeats Joey, leading Matt to wonder if the Savant is familiar with Mortal Kombat.

And finish him Jael does. She uses her glowing blade to slit the Carnival Master's throat, and a spark of orange magic splits the air in two. The enemy of Everlock has, at last, been slain.

"Omigod," says Joey.

For the first time since the clowns here killed, Matt allows himself to take a genuine, fearless breath of Everlock air. "Is it over?"

"Is it done?" asks Nikita.

_Let it be done. Let us go home. Let the night end here._

 

Seeing Jael _finally_ kill the Carnival Master...it's as if a wave of comfort has washed over Joey's soul. _If he's gone, Everlock's saved, and if Everlock's saved, then so am I._ He could _cry,_ he's so damn grateful. _I can make things right again._

Nikita beams. "Good job, you guys!"

"Thank you!" says Matt.

Jael helps Ryu to his feet, then turns to the rest of the group. "This is what you came for, Joey," she announces breathlessly, pointing to the crystal _(the crystal!)_ at the center of the Carnival Master's chest. "The spell has been broken. Your contract is complete."

"You're free!" cheers Nikita.

 _I'm free._ The concept seems so strange to Joey, yet so wonderful at the same time. _I'm alive now. The first to escape the grave, but not the last. This is where my story shifts from a tale of death to a tale of resurrection._

Jael's voice is a soft promise. "Everlock now has a future." With that, she and Ryu take their leave.

Joey nearly breaks down right there in front of Matt and Nikita. "Thank you." There's a sniffle in his otherwise joyful tone as he pulls his two surviving friends close to him for a long-overdue group hug. "We did it!" He grins from ear to ear. "We freakin' _did it!"_

Matt giggles from sheer relief. "Let's get out of this!"

"Come on," says Nikita. "Let's go home."

She, Joey, and Matt place the three Life Stones around the corpse of the once-fearsome Carnival Master. The stones connect to each other with lines of golden light, releasing a mist of magic that sets both them and Everlock free at last. Joey watches the lights, exhales, and savors the feeling of being alive.

 

The three survivors leave the church just as dawn breaks over Everlock. They walk, side by side, through the streets of the rescued town, and Nikita takes a moment to reflect on everything and everyone they sacrificed for their survival. She thinks of a boy with a full face of makeup. She wonders if she'll ever forgive herself.

But she also thinks about the strength she found during her time in Everlock—the will to fight that awakened within her as a response to all the crap the evil put her through. In a twisted way, that's a gift from this town that she'll carry with her until death comes knocking on her door.

"I'm gonna miss Manny," she murmurs, letting his laughter linger in her heart as teardrops dance like ballerinas on her eyelashes.

Matt nods in understanding. "I'm gonna miss Ro."

As victory and battle scars fuel the fire within her, Nikita Dragun paints a perfect smile on her face.

 

Matt's done it. He's going home. He'll reunite with Stephanie, he'll meet baby Ollie, and he'll learn to live again. There will be time to mourn his friends, most of all the short, cheerful girl who's always been there for him (and, in a way, always will be), but for now, there is still one more promise he must keep.

_Blanche._

He finds the pink pony sitting on top of an abandoned booth, right next to a red-and-yellow sign that reads _Winner Everytime._ She feels just as soft and huggable as he remembered her. _I got you, Blanche._ He carries her under his arm. _I told you I'd come back for you._

Ollie is going to _love_ her once he arrives into the world. Maybe, when he's old enough to understand, he can hear the tale of how his daddy went to the 1970s, fought demons, died, rose again, and came back with a horsey. Matt will, of _course_ , make sure to tell him all about his Auntie Ro, along with all the other brave men and women who fell as heroes in the battle for Everlock's soul.

There are still many stories to tell. Matthew Patrick is looking forward to a future with less monsters and more peace.

 

Joey walks between Matt and Nikita. The scenery of Everlock passes him by like the ending of a movie. "I never knew I had such good friends," he tells the two wonderful people who stuck by his side until dawn.

Nikita shrugs. "At least now you're alive."

Yes, Joey's alive, but that's only one item checked off of his mental to-do list. What he wants now, more than anything, is a way to make all the wrongs he did right.

Fortunately, he knows a way.

He stops. Matt and Nikita turn to face him, both of them very obviously confused. "Guys," Joey admits, "there's one more thing I need to do. I'll meet you on the other side, okay?"

"Okay," says Nikita.

"See you soon," says Matt.

The two of them disappear through the curtain. Joey thanks God that they made it before turning his attention to other matters...namely, those who weren't as lucky as the six people who survived his three nights of hell.

He returns to the church, locates the Carnival Master's corpse, carefully removes the crystal, and examines it as if it's the most valuable treasure in the world. Dearly departed faces—Shane, Lele, DeStorm, Gabbie, Alex, Colleen—flash before his eyes. He begins the list in his head once more. _Shane Dawson, poisoned. Andrea Brooks, gassed to death. Justine Ezarik..._

"Joey? Joey, are you there?"

_Liza?_

The little brown Explorer, a casualty of the Victorian era and one of Joey's greatest regrets, speaks to him through the crystal. "This is your chance to make things right." Her voice and her face scream urgency. "Please. We need you. Come save us."

Joey Graceffa understands. He, and he alone, is responsible for rescuing Liza and the rest of his friends. His dark task cannot end until death is rewritten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next (and last) chapter: Joey's new mission begins. Also, the survivors mourn their friends, life comes out of death, and no one truly escapes the night.


End file.
